Authors note: I'm sorry this chapter is very short and it's been awhile since I updated. I've been having a bit of writers block. Mainly because I almost have to be in a dark place to write this. I hope this update, albeit short, will keep you satisfied till I can get the next chapter written. Thanks for reading and reviewing. =)
We sat on opposite ends of the couch both staring at nothing in particular. I didn't know what to say and Alice herself seemed to be speechless. My stomach was in knots. I had been hoping to avoid ever telling anyone, but apparently my mind had other plans. Alice had a vision of me telling Edward what had happened. It must have been that thought in the cafeteria, about knowing I'd have to tell him someday. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Did you...tell him?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer.
"No. I didn't say anything to anyone. I just...Bella why didn't you tell anyone?" Alice looked at me now and I knew if she were capable of crying she would have had tears running down her face. The look tortured me. I didn't expect this. What was this exactly? Sympathy?
"I don't know." It was an honest response. One I was constantly asking myself. I didn't have to tell Edward what happened. But couldn't I at least confide in my own father? He was the chief of police. If I could trust anyone, it would be him.
"Does Charlie know?" I looked back up startled. I had forgotten I wasn't alone.
"No." I could only imagine the look she was giving me but I didn't want to see it. I got off the couch and went to the kitchen. Eating wasn't exactly a priority right now but I knew I needed to at least drink something.
"Bella, we should go to the police, to Charlie. You need to report this. Maybe they can still find the guy who..who did this to you."
"There's nothing to tell Alice." It came out sounding harsher than I had intended.
"I let my guard down for a moment. I was weak. This whole thing, its all my fault." I softened my voice some, but I was not reporting this now. I had worked too hard to keep it a secret. Suddenly I realized it had only been 3 days. It seemed like another lifetime. How much longer could I really keep this a secret?
"Oh Bella. This is not your fault!" Alice shrieked, and before I knew it she had flung herself at me and was holding me tightly. My entire body froze. Fear coursed through my veins and my heart pounded so loud I was sure the neighbors could hear it. I felt myself shaking and my breath came hard and fast. Alice pulled away and looked at me horrified.
"I'm so sorry. I had...I had no idea." She took a few more steps back and I struggled to calm myself down. My breathing was still rapid and I was still visibly shaking but I gained enough control to finally say something.
"It's ok. Sudden movements just...they..." I trailed off not quite sure how to explain. Alice finally seemed to understand just how bad this was.
"If you wish to continue to keep this a secret, I will not betray your trust Bella. Especially since you didn't exactly tell me. I'm here for you though. You don't need to suffer in silence anymore. You are not alone."
I could feel the tears threatening to fall but brushed them away quickly.
"I'm not ready for Edward to know Alice. But he can read your mind. How are you suppose to keep this from him?" I felt terrified again but for a different reason.
"Don't worry about it. I'll find a way. I can think of other things when I'm around him. Maybe Jasper and I could take a little vacation. Unless you want me to stay near of course. Like I said, I'm here for you."
"No. I'm not ready to talk about this. I don't want to talk about this. Damn you and your ability to see the future!" I stormed off to my room angrily. I don't know what had provoked this sudden outburst. Still, I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty. I should though, shouldn't I? I considered Alice one of my best friends. She didn't deserve to be treated that way. Deep down I knew she didn't ask for her ability either. I tried to imagine what it would be like to randomly see things that were going to happen. Intimate or frightening things to friends or family. And knowing sometimes you couldn't do anything about it, anything to stop it. No. I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must be like.
A quick glance at the clock told me I still had an hour before Edward would be here. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up. I knew that wasn't an option though so I settled for a nap. My last thought before drifting off to sleep was how much I used to look forward to Edward coming over. How I used to want to spend every waking moment with him, and even the moments I was sleeping. My life had changed drastically in the course of a few hours. And I didn't know if it would ever be the same again.