After the attempt at reading a story to the class had failed so early in the day, Tsunade wracked her brain, trying to think of something that would get the class to where off all of the extra energy. They were far to young to take put through even the most basic of the training exercises to become shinobi, although part of Tsunade was sorely tempted to. Still, she refrained from the impulse, deciding with how the day had gone so far that they would probably all manage to accidentally generate enough chakra that she would need to heal all of the injuries they would spontaneously create with this class's almost uncanny ability for trouble.
Besides, she refused to admit defeat so easily yet. Heaven only knew what Jiraiya would expect in payment.
A walk, that was it. She would take them on a walk to the monument and they could discuss the role of the hokage and the village. That should work!
So she had the brood of heathens line up behind her and began to walk them along one of the safest paths, lined with only the most mild and recognizable of poisonous plants.
They talked and giggled behind her, but seemed far more settled than they had in the classroom. Suddenly, as they neared the turn that marked the halfway point to the monument, she heard a groan of pain from the students. Knowing that Minato would object if one of the hellions was seriously hurt, she stopped the group and went back to look at the sickening child.
It was the little boy who had made a makeshift mask out of a bandana.
"What are you wearing that for?" she asked him abruptly, not even thinking as her thought emerged from her mouth.
"I wanted to look like the nin," The boy said matter of factly. "Besides, mom wouldn't let me take my dad's. And it doesn't fit anyways."
In an odd way his logic made sense. Tsunade did not want to examine too closely what it meant for her sanity if these children were making sense. She returned to the matter of his illness.
"What is wrong then?"
"My stomach hurts," the boy whined, climbing onto her lap where she knelt and resting his head under her ample chest as he seemed to snuggle closer for comfort.
Using her chakra she looked, but she could see nothing wrong. Then she noticed a few of the green berries from one tree were missing. And the medic nin felt a twinge of memory reminding her why most children left those berries alone after the first encounter. With a soft chuckle, she pulled an antidote from her bag, a sweet chalky tablet that would counter the severe stomach pains the boy truly must be having.
Once he seemed to be more recovered, she headed back to the front of the line.
"All right, class. Since some of us seem to have difficulty recognizing certain plants, I'll point out some of the ones you should leave alone as we walk."
The class nodded and they followed, resuming their conversations. Most likely ones centered around plotting her demise.
She continued to look ahead as she lead them onward, hearing an odd conversation held in sotte voce tones from the middle of the line.
"So, Kakashi, did you see anything?"
"Shut up, Gai. I'm doing this because you are too chicken to admit that you lost the janken game."
"Did not. You had paper before you changed it to rock."
"Fine," the boy admitted with a sigh. "Not yet. I need a better strategy worked out."
"What do you mean strategy? All you had to do was to look d-", the boy with the odd glasses asked.
"What it means, Obito, is that I'm too short."
"So you admit defeat!" Gai crowed.
"Nonsense. I'll have it by the end of the day."
Tsunade shook her head, baffled by the three boys' conversation as she continued on, turning back to briefly yell at another student for trying to tie the one little girl's hair to a tree, only to have to go back and intervene to keep the same girl from beating the hell out of the boy.
Maybe they would be so tired that they would fall asleep after they came back?
Or get lost in the woods?
Tsunade did not think that she would be so lucky.