Okay, this is my revision of chapter 7-The Small Things. I really wasn't happy with it when I posted the chapter. It was rushed and forced. And admittedly I don't know how to delete that chapter and post this one in it's stead so I just decided to put this A/N in incase your confused. I really think this will be a lot better, but if you wish to skip it I'm also posting my next chapter.

By the way, the beginning of this chapter is the same as my crappy one. Haha.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 7-The Small Things (Revision)

Jacob's POV

Thanksgiving weekend actually ended without a hitch. Though Edward was worried about Leah being around Nessie, Bella finally convinced him that it could be a good thing. I could tell Bella was nervous, though. She's always been afraid of Leah. Which made no sense to me.

However, Leah never came to The White House, instead we met up with her at the cottage. I knew Leah would just get disgruntled if she were surrounded by vampires. I even convinced Bella and Edward to leave us alone with Nessie. They had agreed, but they were going to remain close.

It took at least an entire day for Leah to warm up to Nessie even a little bit. But by the end of the day, Leah actually let Nessie show her things using her gift.

I could tell Nessie was fascinated by Leah. She really liked her.

By the end of the weekend, though, Leah was won over, but she wouldn't admit it.

Now it was the middle of December.

I was out of school officially for winter break and plans for the move were almost finished. Moving trucks were rented, the new house almost completed, plane tickets were booked, illegal documents procured and so on.

I had also made the decision that once I was gone Seth, Quil, and Embry would go back to Sam's pack until I move closer to La Push again.

Other then that, a new project was underway concerning Alice. We were having Christmas at The White House and everyone who mattered was invited, so Alice had set out decorating the house.

To be honest, the extra color was nice and the scents of pine and cinnamon diluted the sickly sweet of the vampire smell.

Waking up on Tuesday, I got up and dressed and then went out to the kitchen.

Billy was already up and eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table. The news played on the TV sounding lightly to his ears.

Fixing a bowl of cereal for myself, I sat down across from Billy and began to eat. When I was half-way done, Billy cleared his throat.

Looking at him expectantly, I saw that his face was grave. "What's wrong, dad?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong, son," he replied gruffly, but he suddenly looked hesitant. "What are your plans for today?"

"Just going to The White House to visit Nessie. Why?" I skeptically eyed him.

Billy gazed down at the table avoiding my eyes. "Any plans on visiting your mother today?"

I swallowed loudly. "Why would I?"

"It's December fifteenth, the anniversary of Sarah's death," he replied. "I'm going to visit her this morning."

I sighed. "I don't know, dad. I'll have to think about it." I stared down at the table.

"I hope you do, son," he commented. "You never do."

"I know," I breathed out. "Even though she died when I was young, doesn't mean it's not hard."

"Never said it wasn't."

Billy didn't push the issue anymore.

Finished eating, I took off right away. Taking off at a run once I reached the forest, I slipped off my pants and phased, making my way to The White House. Once I was at the edge of the forest near the house, I phased back and dressed.

Striding into the house, I walked across the room and sprawled out in an armchair.

Edward was at the piano with Nessie, Bella was reading a book on the sofa, and Blondie was sitting in another armchair, flipping the channels on the TV. I didn't know where the others were.

"Phew…who let the god out?" Blondie commented scathingly, wrinkling her nose.

"Rosalie…" Edward warned, "Now is not the time." And from the look on his face, Blondie hissed and disappeared from the room.

Edward continued to observe me, taking in my thoughts and at his words to Blondie, Bella set aside her book and looked at Edward questioningly. Nessie sensed something was wrong with me and hopped off of the piano bench and crawled into my lap.

When Edward didn't Embellish, Bella turned to me and asked, "What's wrong, Jake?" She got up to move closer to me.

Nessie lay a hand on my cheek and showed me a picture of my own face. I looked devastated.

Gazing past Bella and Nessie to Edward I could tell from the look on his face that I should speak up before he did. Stupid mind-reading bloodsucker.

I groaned, running a hand through my shaggy hair. "Today is the anniversary of my moms death," I replied. "Dad's bugging me about visiting her grave today."

Bella's face fell and Nessie appeared confused.

Taking up my hand--I didn't even acknowledge the coldness of it--Bella said, "Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry." Pausing, she looked hesitantly into my face. "So are you going to visit her?"

I sighed and looked to Edward for help. Nodding, Edward said, "He's never visited her before."

"But why?" Bella asked in concern.

"It's hard, is all," I simply replied.

Edward stood. "Bella, Nessie? Can you leave Jacob and me alone for a few minutes?"

Bella looked to me for my agreement before taking Nessie in her arms and flitting out of the room and the house.

Edward approached me as I sat up. He took a seat in the armchair next to me.

"Jacob," Edward began, "You really should go visit your mother. Especially when you might not get another chance for awhile."

"Why do you care?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes. You don't know how this feels, I silently added.

"Don't I?" He raised his eyebrows. "Both my parents died before Carlisle changed me. Of course, I wasn't lucid at the time my mother died. My father, on the other hand, got sick and died before the Influenza hit my mother and me. But I knew when my mother was gone. I could feel it," his voice turned to reverent tones, "My mother was my whole world."

"She was?" I asked in surprise.

He nodded. "Yes." Pausing, he continued, "I recall her very sharply. My father is just a blur in my memory now. I'm not sure why that is, but I know he was a lawyer so he might not have been around often. My mother was very caring, though. She even cared for me while we were both dying of the Spanish influenza. Se begged Carlisle to save me at any cost." His tone turned soft and sad. "She died only a couple of hours before Carlisle bit me to save my life."

I never heard him speak this way. Edward's eyes were distant, remorseful. I felt once again in his presence like a child next to him.

"What was your mom like?" I found myself asking.

Edward's eyes were still far away in a distant time. "My mothers name was Elizabeth Masen. She had bronze colored curls and emerald eyes and very beautiful. She was very kind and nurturing, not at all like the superficial females of that day. She was very progressive."

"She sounds great, Edward."

"She was," he replied, but abruptly he returned to the present. "The point I'm making, Jacob, is that you should visit your mothers grave. I still visit my parents whenever I'm in Chicago or even near the area. You can even take Nessie along if that makes it easier."

Thinking about what Edward said for a long while, I finally made up my mind. I'd go and see my mom. He was right, I might not get another chance for a very long time. I wasn't some scared-y cat, though I was terrified. Probably because I was afraid, I'd break down.

Finally, nodding, I said, "I'll go, but I don't want Nessie to come with me. I don't want her to suffer along with me. This is something I need to do on my own."

Seeing what I was planning on doing, Edward flitted out of the room and the next second reappeared with a notebook and pen in hand, along with an envelope.

I planned on writing my mom a letter, because I knew I would be able to speak any of my thoughts.

A good three hours went by as I wrote my letter, but once I was complete, I sealed it into an envelope and left the house. Since I didn't drive to the Cullen's I decided to take the Vantage out on its test run.

Finally arriving at the Quileute cemetery, I slid out of the car and into the graveyard. Finding my mothers grave easily, I stared down at the tomb. After a few minutes, I slid down to the ground and sat Indian style, meditating on the words in front of me.

My throat felt thick and painful and I didn't trust myself to speak even though I was alone. A hour passed while I stared at the granite stone, finally taking up my letter from my pocket, I dug a hole in the ground. About one foot wide and six inches deep and laid the letter inside and covered the hole back up.

I couldn't take a chance that some weirdo would come by the letter and read it and know everyone's business.

When I was finished, I brushed the tears away from my face with dirty fingers and retreated to the Vantage.

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Dear Mom,

I miss you, I just had to get that out before anything else, and I'm so sorry that I haven't visited you before now. It's just really hard. You left when I was so young, but I remember you.

I remember you so clearly it hurts to even think about it. But I'm sorry to say that when I was younger I got over your death very quickly. One day you were here then the next mommy was gone. To be honest, I didn't really think about it much. Dad said you were in a better place and I believed him. However, these past couple of years, I've missed you so much that it felt as if I couldn't breathe.

But I remember you.

I remember your scent very clearly. Lilacs, vanilla, coffee, and cigarette smoke. Lilacs were your favorite flowers, I know, and they still blossom outside our house every year. I also remember how you used to sneak outside to smoke, dad used to get so angry with you. Unfortunately, once you died he picked up the habit.

I remember you always baked. Your food was always so good. Pot roast was my favorite meal and still is. I also remember how you used to make brownies for the family and how we'd devour them before anyone else could have any.

I remember how you used to be a teacher at the Quileute school. You were always curious and loved to learn. I used to be the same way if you remember.

I remember how you used to paint. You were so good. And how you loved to garden.

I remember how involved you were in the tribe. You always led the Quileute celebrations in July. You taught me how to speak Quileute. You never bothered with the history, though. That was dads job, and with good reason.

But I mostly remember your beautiful face and long silky hair and how smart you were and how optimistic. You were always smiling. And I remember how soft and warm your hands were…

God, I'm crying now! Should a man cry?

I wonder if you're watching me wherever you are? Well, if you're not, I'll tell you what you missed…

Dad's in a wheelchair now. His diabetes got really bad when I was about thirteen. When Rachel and Rebecca graduated they left us.

Rachel went to school at the University of Seattle and after four years she's finally home. It's made dad very happy, well until she started seeing this dickhead Paul…

Anyway, we haven't seen Rebecca for years. After she graduated she married a surfer and moved to Hawaii. I won't even bother telling you the guys name, we all hate him.

After you left and dad was sentenced to a wheelchair and Rachel and Rebecca left, I started focusing most of my time rebuilding an old Rabbit. It took me nearly two years to complete because some of the parts were hard to come by. But during that time I met the most amazing person to come into my life at that time.

Bella Swan.

I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She was smart, shy with a dry sense of humor, and she blushed constantly. It was always adorable.

I liked her so much that I told her the story of our legends. The story about the 'cold ones.' Of course, I though those stories were just bullshit superstitions at the time.

For the next half year I barely saw her though. She was dating one of the Cullen's and Billy made me stay put in La Push, but finally one day she came to me.

I had heard a few months before that that her boyfriend left her, but I never realized how messed up she really was until I saw her again. She looked so pale and tired, with stringy lifeless hair, and cracked lips. I could tell it hurt her to laugh and she always held her sides as if trying to keep herself together.

But soon she was laughing effortlessly and we were the best of friends. We had the weirdest connection. It was really hard to explain at the time.

I fell in love with her and I knew with some more time she would get over her ex-boyfriend and we'd be together, but then something happened.

I turned into a monstrous wolf.

Did you know this might happen to me? Were you in the loop? Did you believe?

Anyway, I turned into a gigantic wolf and almost killed dad. It was the most uncomfortable and scary thing that had ever happened to me. But the scariest part of it was that I wasn't aloud to see Bella anymore in case I accidentally hurt her.

However, I had great control and Bella found out what I was and didn't care.

It's really funny how often she forgets that I morph into a gigantic dog all the time.

But when I was sure Bella was in love with me, her boyfriend came back. And I guess you could guess what happened next. She forgave him.

Oh, yeah. Did I mention that he was a vampire?

Through the next few months I tried my damn hardest to make her realize she loved me too. I even kissed her a couple of times. The first time, though, she punched me and broke her hand, but the second time was great.

I know I was very pushy, but I needed her to see other options then turning into a vampire for her lover. I was terrified that I'd loose her forever.

And I did lose her in one way. She married Edward Cullen.

I waited day after day for any indication that she was dead, or pretending to be dead. Because I knew that was the deal. Marry Edward and become a vampire.

Finally one day I heard news that she was back in town after her honeymoon apparently 'ill.' I didn't believe it at first and fully intended to attack the Cullen's, but then I saw her.

She was grotesquely pregnant with a vampire baby.

It nearly killed me seeing her dying, but she wouldn't give up her baby.

Once the pack found out, they wanted to kill Bella before she gave birth to the abomination. I couldn't do it so I split from them and claimed my Alpha heritage.

When Bella gave birth, she died.

I was so angry and upset, that I planned on killing the baby, but once I stared into the baby's eyes--the same color of Bella's--I imprinted.

Renesmee.

And at that very moment I heard Bella's heartbeat changing. She was becoming an immortal.

But Renesmee.

There are no words for her. I wish you could meet her. She's so smart and beautiful and she's growing so fast. And I mean that literally. She has Bella's brown eyes, and Charlie's curls, and Edward's bronze colored hair. She's perfect.

I love her and we'll be together forever. Of course, right now I'm only like a brother to her, but when the time comes I'll marry her and we'll have kids.

This should have been the big tip-off on why I felt so connected to Bella and she me. Renesmee was always a part of her, so in some way I pretty much imprinted on Bella, but when Nessie was born the imprint transported into her.

I really wish you were here to see my life.

I hope your proud of me.

I really love you and I miss you everyday.

God, I'm crying again!

I better leave this letter how it is, but I promise I'll update you on everything for as long as I live, even if it is forever.

Love you,

Your son,

Jacob Black.

______________________________________________________________________________

I hope that was better then the original. And I hope this doesn't confuse anyone. Like I said above, I couldn't delete the original so just ignore the original and go with this one.

I hope to update tonight, so hang in there for a brand new chapter.

Please read and review! I so love every comments I get! And appreciate it to!