Chapter 4- I Can't Do This Anymore
Jemima stood there, watching Alonzo running away, past Plato and off in the direction of his old den. Plato looked back at Jem one last time before chasing after him. She was extremely confused. What had just happend?
She crawled back up onto the tire and layed down, her head in her paws, trying to stop the unruly tears from falling. A few minutes passed by, no one bothered her as she tried to control her sobs. Astrid had walked by and heard her sniffling, immmediatly running over to her, concerned.
"Oh, Jemmie what's wrong? What happend? What did he do?" he jumped up on the tire, lifting her up into his arms gently. She looked at him, tears falling from her eyes and sniffled a little bit.
"He didn't do anything....its just....Astrid please don't make me talk about it." she stuttered.
"Okay...alright....shhhh....it'll be okay..." He held her as she stopped crying and wiped the tears from her face.
"I'm alright Astrid, really. I don't really know what happend, I just.....lost control." she tried to explain. He nodded, setting her back down next to him.
Astrdi looked sadly at her but didn't dare ask, not wanting to upset her even more. "C'mon I'll walk you home, its getting late." Jemima got up as he helped her down off of the tire. He walked her right up to her den, giving her a long comforting hug. "Jem, you know you can tell me anything right? I'm your friend, you can trust me." He said as he pulled out the hug, looking at her seriously.
"Yeah I know Astrid....I will tell you eventually...I just don't want to talk about it now." she said, giving him a small smile before walking into her den, running straight for her room, begging sleep to take over to keep her from thinking too much.
The next day Jem was sitting in the junkyard with Victoria, Mistoffelees, Plato, and Astrid just basking in the sunlight. She was starting to get annoyed at the fact that she kept seeing Cassandra and Alonzo running around the junkyard, chasing after each other, yelling and screaming along the way. This had been going on for a while now and most of the tribe had decided to do their best to ignore it. Plato was rolling his eyes at his friend's stupidity, Tori and Misto were sitting there holding hands, ignoring them, and Astrid was sitting right next to Jemima, watching her anxiously for another outburst.
Then once the screaming couple had passed by again, something different happend. Alonzo had managed to stop yelling and had pulled Cass off to the side, trying to have a quieter conversation. Oddly enough this angered Jemima even more than the yelling and she had to fight to hold back tears. Then they started yelling again and the cycle continued, yelling for a while, then quietly having a conversation only to go back to yelling.
As she sat there her head fell on Astrid's shoulder. He kept his arm around her as a source of comfort. Having had enough, Plato got up and stalked over to his friend, yelling at him about how stupid he was being. Alonzo only ignored him and continued to chase after the angry saimese queen. Plato gave up and looked apologetically at Jemima, she just grimaced at him and snuggled against Astrid.
When Cass escaped to her den, having done enough argueing, Alonzo was left alone in the shadows, looking defeated. Feeling reckless she jumped out of Astrid's grip and stalked over to him, looking livid. Alonzo saw her coming at him and he didn't even try to run away.
"Alonzo what the hell is going on?" She stopped directly in front of his face and demanded a explanation.
"Jemmie...." he whined. She just angrily stared him down until he caught her eye. "Jemima, I'm so sorry." he answered, looking very upset.
"Sorry for what?"
"Sorry.....for everything. For the other night, for yesterday, for you having to see what happend today...."
"What exaclty did happen today?"
"Jem....you probably know better than I do. You told me this would happen the other night but I didn't believe you."
"I told you what?" she asked, confused now.
"That I wasn't just gonna stop loving Cass. I'm still in love with her." he replied.
"Anyone would've guessed that form the way you were chasing her around today." Jemima said sarcastically, not liking the way this conversation was going."Alonzo, what exactly have you and Cass been screaming about all day?"
"It's gonna sound horrible and messed up....."
"Tell me."
"Jem, you know I like you, but you also know that I'm still in love with Cassandra. Let's just say I'm doing all I can to try to get her back."
Jemima froze. That was what she had been afraid he would say. She tried to smile but it came off as more of a grimace. "Oh."
"Jemmie I'm so sorry for what I did to you...."
She finally gave up. She dropped the fake smile, and as tears ran down her face she whispered, "I can't do this anymore."
Alonzo looked directly into her eyes, holding her gaze much longer than was neccessary. "Jem what do you mean?"
"I knew this would happen!" she suddenly yelled, starting to cry histerically. "Alonzo this is the reason I didn't want to kiss you! I knew you would just go running back to Cass!"
"Jem...." he tried to cut in.
"I tried so hard to resist you....but I couldn't because I wanted you so much. Everyday you and Cass were together I tried to forget about you, thinking there was no way I'd have a chance with a tom such as you. I've gone crazy from the moment I realized I liked you."
Alonzo was at a loss for words, her outburst cutting him deeper and deeper as she poured her heart out. "Please....Jem, don't do this...." he tried to say.
"Do what? I'm not doing anything, don't you realize what you've done to me?"
Alonzo was crying now, tears sparkling in his bright green eyes. Jemima could have gone on for hours, but she felt her control slipping and decided to end it. "Well I hope you had fun Alonzo, that all I have to say. Thanks for all the pain you caused me, I really appreciate it." she said sarcastically. With one last hurt glance at the black and white tom, she bolted in a random direction.
"Jem! Jemmie! Jemima please!" Alonzo yelled after her, but she kept running and didn't look back.