Vexen in Wonderland

I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Alice in Wonderland. Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix. Alice in Wonderland references are used from both Lewis Carroll and Disney.

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"Pardon?" Vexen asked, looking up into the branches.

"Where do you want to go?" The voice repeated.

A glowing gold feline eye appeared in the shadows, along with a pointy-toothed grin.

"I need to find my way out of this forest." Vexen said to the disembodied voice.

"Your way? It's only the Queen's way!" The owner of the voice stepped into the light.

It was Xigbar, wearing a pink and purple striped jumpsuit with matching striped tail and cat ears perched on top of his head. He thought it was fake, but when he saw the tail waving and the ears he was convinced otherwise.

"Who exactly is the Queen?" Vexen asked, looking at Xigbar.

"Always asking questions, and never introducing himself. Ah, such bad manners." He lay contentedly upon one of the thick branches.

Vexen huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I am Vexen. Who are you?"

"I am the Cheshire Cat." Xigbar said, dangling an arm over the side of the branch, showing off long, black painted nails that resembled claws.

Vexen bet money that they were lethal.

"Who is the Queen?" Vexen repeated, getting frustrated.

"The Queen of Hearts, of course. I believe you have a game with her today… among other things." Xigbar gave an amused chuckle, striped tail swaying to and fro.

"Okay. So how do I get out of the forest?"

Xigbar pointed down the left fork of the road.

"Down there, you shall reach the Mad Hatter's garden. The March Hare is there, as well."

"The 'Mad Hatter'? I don't speak with mad people." Vexen frowned, imagining trying to have a conversation with a man in a straightjacket.

"Oh, we're all mad here. And you'd have to be mad to get here in the first place. I'm mad too, you know. Unlike a dog, who growls when they're mad and wags their tail when they're happy, I wag my tail when I'm mad and growl when I'm happy. I must be mad."

"But it's called purring." Vexen corrected.

Xigbar shrugged his shoulders.

"Call it whatever you like. I still do it." He chuckled. "I'll meet you at the games, Vexen."

Xigbar began to disappear, color vanishing starting at his tail and working its way up, as if he was being absorbed by some invisible paper towel. As the color drained, the only thing left was his feline eye and pointy-toothed grin. That creeped Vexen out, so he quickly turned away, making his way down the left fork in the road.

He had been going down the beaten dirt path for some time before he finally reached the gate to a garden with a long, table laid out. It was covered in a clean, white table cloth, with various tea cups and tea pots and tea kettles set neatly upon it as well as cookies, biscuits, cucumber sandwiches, and scones. Little jars of jam, containers of butter, plates of lemons, mini porcelain pitchers of cream, and bowls of sugar cubes were also strewn about. Kitchen chairs, recliners, sofas, office chairs, and other seats were lined up against the sides of the table.

Overhead, colorful Chinese paper lanterns were strewn on wires, illuminating the area in a pleasant sort of way. The garden was secluded with tall hedges on one side, gates barred entry on two sides, and a cottage made up the fourth wall.

"A merry un-birthday to you!" Said a familiar voice.

"And to you as well." Another voice returned.

Two people were sitting down at the head of the table, completely absorbed in whatever conversation they were having.

Vexen looked upon the quaint tea party with interest.

It had been ages since he had been involved in a get-together over tea, long ago in a past life when he was known as Even. He felt a great, overwhelming desire to join this one.

Vexen opened the garden gate, shutting it behind him before he made his way from the end of the table to a spot near the middle. He pulled out the chair he wanted to sit at, seating himself at the table.

The two who had been at the head of the table looked at him with distaste. It was Luxord and Zexion.

Luxord was wearing a green top hat, green coat, white shirt, big blue bowtie, and long green pants. A piece of paper was on his hat, and it read 10/6. A teacup was held in his hand as he frowned at Vexen.

Zexion, dressed in a black suit, looked like a well-dressed Goth. He wore a red handkerchief in his breast pocket, and that reminded Vexen of the flowers of blood that appeared on the clothing of those that had been stabbed or shot. Black rabbit ears poked out of his hair at the top of his head.

"You know, it's very rude to sit down at our table without even being invited!" Zexion scoffed.

"Come to crash our un-birthday party, have you?" Luxord asked, raising an eyebrow as he took his teacup to his lips.

"What is an un-birthday?" Vexen asked.

"You know how every year, you only have one birthday?" Zexion asked, an amused smirk on his face.

Vexen nodded.

"Well, that would mean that you have three hundred sixty-four un-birthdays, wouldn't you?"

How clever.

"Well, it's always tea-time here, so why not have an un-birthday tea party? I suppose I can let you join, even though you've so rudely sat down with an invitation." Zexion said.

Luxord put his teacup on the saucer.

"I've got a riddle: What does a raven and a writing desk have in common?"

"I haven't the slightest idea." Vexen replied, picking up a teapot to pour tea into his cup.

"Neither have I!" Luxord giggled, taking another sip of his tea.

"Tea time!" Zexion announced, standing up.

"Oh, goody, tea time!" Luxord said, getting up from his chair as well.

Together, Luxord and Zexion dragged Vexen, teapot and all, to another part of the table.

When the three of them had settled in another spot, Zexion laced his fingers together, put his elbows upon the table, and rested his chin upon his hands.

"While you're here, you might as well tell us how you've made your way here." He said, gazing at Vexen intently.

"Please tell. We haven't had any interesting stories here for days!" Luxord drawled.

Vexen's lips twitched into a small smile, he was glad to be the center of attention for once.

"Well, I was wandering through the woods beyond your garden gate, and I came to a fork in the road, and didn't know which way to turn the Cheshire Cat appeared--"

"CAT?! CAT?!" Came a squeal from a large, green teapot.

A small Lexaeus popped out from under the lid, running down the table.

He was wearing a wine red coat, white shirt, purple bowtie, black pants and shiny black dress shoes. A mouse tail twitched behind him as he ran, his big mouse ears tucked against his head.

Luxord and Zexion immediately got up, running after the mouse, knocking over everything with their arms as they snatched at him.

Vexen could have laughed at the comical sight.

Zexion had finally caught the Lexaeus mouse, and he headed back over to the table to place him back into his teapot.

"You mustn't mention those infernal animals around the dormouse!" Zexion whispered, clamping his hand upon the teapot lid.

"He really gets quite upset about those animals." Luxord added, wiping sweat off of his brow with a gloved hand. "Anyway, please continue."

"Where was I? Yes! Well, I then came across the Cheshire C-A-T, and he directed me to the fork in the road, where I walked until I found your un-birthday party."

"Cat?" Came a feeble squeak from the teapot.

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I had fun writing Xigbar as the Cheshire Cat. It suits him so well. Review, please!