Author Note: I didn't get many reviews, and I'd really like more, but I'm hooked on this story so I'm writing the third chapter anyways. Enjoy!
Note: Ugh, ok... 1st chapter- Present tense. (No clue why)
2nd chapter- I wanted to switch back to past, like im used to, but ended up switching back and forth without realizing it.
3rd chapter- Trying to stick to past.
Sorry for any confusion.
Disclaimer: Some characters belong to Lauren Brooke,
Some of the plot belongs to Sarah Dessen,
Many characters and much of the plot belong to moi.
Refrain from copying.
Chapter 3
Two days later: September 27th: Monday
I walked into the barn, my book bag over my shoulder, as I walked down the aisle. I dropped my bag and stopped, leaning into the door that stood right next to me.
"Chanse, come here baby," I crooned into the stall. My Only Chanse was a 5 month old filly, with whom I had become quite attached to. Her sire was Shining Moon, and her dam was Fighting Glory. Her blood lines were immaculate, making her a beautiful filly with a bright future. As I yelled softly into the dark stall I saw a white tail flashing, and then a chesnut head with a bright white star adorning the forehead, popped out of the shadows, "There you are," I reached my hand down, provoking her to come closer. She bounded over and rubbed her head against my hand, looking for a treat.
"Well aren't we greedy?" I laughed and then pulled an alfalfa cube from my sweater. I stood there for what seemed like forever, petting and babying Chanse when a car horn startled me and I jumped in the air, frightening Chanse. "Well I have to go, I'll see you later," I caressed her silky head, between her ears, one more time before picking up my bag and high tailing it to Lou's car.
"This is very inconvenient, you know that?" Lou moaned as I climbed into the car. She sat with one hand resting on the wheel in a bored manner, the other slowly circling her growing belly.
"It's not my fault. Grandpa should have gotten the truck fixed when we told him to," she shook her head in an annoyed way, "You know, I don't prefer this either. I'd rather have my car back too."
She glared at me in her usual hormonal way, "Why couldn't Soraya pick you up...or Matt?"
I felt a tug in my chest as I remembered what had happened with Soraya. I had tried calling her the next day to explain, but she wouldn't talk to me. Pleading sickness to her mother, "Soraya's sick," I lied. Why not use her excuse?
"Matt?"
"He's taking this course at the hospital for aspiring doctors. He doesn't have to be to school until its over, at 8:30. School is at the total opposite side of town," I mumbled, wanting to get off the subject.
(The program exists. My brother has just been accepted, 1 out of 15 students. And there were a lot who signed up. But I just totally blanked on the name even though he is constantly talking about it...)
"Oh, well, whatever. It's still so...," she paused, searching for a word, "Dumb," she nodded to emphasize this. I gawked, having never heard her use such a...bland word.
I blame the hormones.
(Ain't it the truth? My sister has been pregnant before, and is pregnant right now. She cried at my brother's prom walk, ok I can see that, we were proud as his sisters. But she outright BAWLED her eyes out, hugging him and crying. Like he had died or something. And she makes up words I don't think exist. As I always say to her...I blame the hormones.)
"Dumb," I repeated. She only nodded, paying attention to the road as she sped along, literally. Ever since she got pregnant she was so impatient that she drove at least 15 mph over the speed limit. When she used to drive at least 10 under the speed limit.
I just sighed, annoyed at her, and looked out my window. Hills rolled past, merging into grassy fields, which turned into an occasional house or farm. As we got closer to the city houses became more abundant and shops started to appear. We drove along Main Street, turning down a side road that led up a hill where the high school sat.
As it came into view I dropped my eyes. Would Soraya be there? Would she talk to me, let me explain?
These and many more questions raced through my mind as Lou crossed into the drop off lane. She pulled up to the sidewalk that wound into the Garden and stopped. I eased open my door, trying to delay, and finally crossed onto the sidewalk. I idled down it, the Garden emerging through the trees that lined the walkway. Instantly my eyes flew to the picnic table I sat at for lunch and in the morning. Sitting there, calm as can be, was Soraya, talking with her hands, to Jane Conners, who nodded enthusiastically. I took a deep breath and began to walk in their direction, breathing in and out regularly, in case I forgot to breathe.
"Hi," I cursed my voice as it came out low and slightly squeaky. Soraya stopped her hands and looked up at me, her eyes instantly sharp, cutting through me.
"What do you want?" she snapped at me, Jane instantly looked startled and confused.
"To explain, if you'd let me," I felt stronger, starting to resent her for not even listening. Isn't that what friends were for?
"You don't have to explain anything. And I have nothing to say to you. So, bye." she resolutely turned back to Jane. Jane glanced at me, an apology in her eyes. It wasn't her fault I was being ignored. She hadn't chosen to get in-between us. I nodded slightly, telling her as much. I stood for another moment, pleading with myself to just leave, let her simmer down. But my determination out flitted everything.
"Soraya, if you would please just listen you'd realize..." she cut me off
"I realize perfectly fine, Amy. I saw what was going on, and I realized that apparently you could give a shit whether we are friends or not. So you know what?" she didn't stop to let me answer, "Im through with it Amy. With your pathetic little excuses I always believed and your rendez-vous with random guys who you pick over me. So just leave me alone," her voice dropped, becoming a pleading whisper. A moment of weakness through all of her strength, "please."
I stood, my heart thudding, as suddenly I understood. She was being honest, she wanted me to leave. Forever. I ached to tell her what really happened, for her to apologize for her cruel assumptions, and to let me cry on her shoulder. But I knew that she wouldn't let me speak. And truthfully, as I stood there, opening my mouth, readying myself to just blurt everything out, that I couldn't do it. My stomach clenched as I though of what happened, and I felt bile rising in my throat at even the mere though of voicing what I had been through. It was impossible, even if she was willing to let me explain.
So I left. I turned my back on my best friend for 11 years, and walked away. I kept thinking about her as I walked towards the door, kept thinking of what I couldn't tell her, my best friend. As I glanced back at her, ready to leave her, I saw him.
Not twenty feet from where I had been was Ted/Fred. He stood, facing the picnic table that held Soraya and Jane, and then his eyes lifted to mine. He smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth rising in an amused expression, and then he winked. As he dropped my gaze I felt my stomach drop, no plummet through my body as I backed away from him, turning. I was surprised when no one screamed, I felt as though my stomach was lying splattered on the ground. And then I realized, it was. I found myself, hunched over behind a tree, vomiting into the lush green grass. I coughed as it burned my throat, leaving a trail of disgust as it went. I saw Ted/Fred smiling at me, as though he knew my secret. Which he did. He was my secret.
I wiped my mouth on my sleeve, leaving a slight trail of mucus. I gagged again, dry heaving, as there was nothing left to throw up. I caught my breath and looked down at the grass, cringing. I walked out into the garden, seeing that apparently, no one had noticed me. I made a beeline for the door, letting the cool breeze calm my nerves.
The bathroom was just down the hall and I pushed into the door, seeing no one was in there. I pulled off my now soiled sweater, revealing a shirt beneath it. I set everything on the ground and walked to the sinks. I leaned against one, letting my head hang, my pony tail resting on my shoulder. I reached to turn on the water, cupping it in my hands, and splashing my face with it. Wiping away tears that I hadn't realized I was crying. I cupped more water and swished it in my mouth, wiping away the reminder of Ted/Fred. I spit it out, and then looked up. Framed in the mirror was me, as usual. But something was different. I was a girl festering with a dark secret, one I couldn't tell anyone because I couldn't bring myself to do it. My eyes were emotionless, my face pale, and the loose hair from my ponytail framed my face in a way that made me look fragile, scared, dead. I dropped my eyes and felt another tear drop, watching as it fell into the white sink, finding its way into the drain. Into oblivion. The darkness, where I now dwelled.
I stood for another few minutes, determined to pull myself together, tie the strings that were coming undone. I finally stood straight, as though a corset were holding me up, keeping me from falling. And one was. The corset was tight, bound, inescapable. I let out a breath and wiped my eyes, lingering tears still held in place. I closed my eyes, and nodded. I picked up my bag and sweater and headed towards my locker. I opened it and placed my sweater on the bottom, hoping that the slight mucus left behind wouldn't cause my locker to smell. I made myself keep my eyes from wandering to the pictures that adorned my locker door. Of Soraya and me. I packed my bag with everything I needed and shut the locker, sighing, as I could finally let my eyes wander.
The bell rang. I hurried to my home room, dreading the day, but not wanting to be late for it. I slid into my seat, feeling blessed because Soraya wasn't in any of my classes, until eighth period. I pulled out my Global books and settled into my seat.
"The Renaissance. What can anyone tell me, out of your knowledge, what happened in this time period?" my teacher Mr. Harrison asked, his comb over hair falling into his eyes. He flipped his head and the hair landed back in its original place. The Flip. That is it's official name. The guy behind me snickered, as did a few others who saw it, "Anyone?"
"Wasn't Leonardo Da Vinci from that time?" a girl in the front asked. Her pen twirling in her fingers, her hair piled in a messy bun on top of her head.
"Yes, he was. Does anyone know any art works by Da Vinci, they're very well-known," no duh, who doesn't know his works? I accidentally sighed at this, and he heard me, "Miss. Flemings"
I looked up, confused at first, but then collected myself, "A few are The Last Supper, The Mona Lisa, and The Virgin of the Rocks." Mr. Harrison seemed shocked.
"Yes, very good. Thank you Amy, now..." he went on, losing my interest very soon. I lost myself until the bell rang. I collected everything, checked the board, no homework, and head for Biology.
Lunch
I headed down the hall, seeing the glass doors at the end. I took a deep breath and kept going. I pushed the door open, feeling the hot air already invading my lungs. I walked slowly down the walk, seeing Soraya, Matt, Jane, and Kelly sitting at our table. Out of habit I headed their way, I was about ten feet away when Soraya saw me. She shot me a look and I suddenly remembered everything. I had to turn, had to make like I wasn't heading her way and giving her that satisfaction. Without even thinking I turned right, towards the wall. I didn't plan on sitting there, but oh well. I looked back and saw my other friends, who I sometimes sat with, Kami, Jessie, and Carter. I wanted to turn back, to sit with them, but Soraya was still watching me. She'd know if I turned back.
The wall it was.
I placed my book bag on the stone wall, and turned to face the garden. I planted my hand on either side of me in a 90 degree angle. I pushed my arms straight, hoisting myself onto the wall. When I was situated I pulled my lunch out from within my book bag. It was crumpled, broken, like me. I tenderly took out my lunch and smoothed the bag so it was almost wrinkle free. But not quite. I couldn't help but wish that all my problems could be smoothed out, like a crinkle. One little line that could easily be conquered.
As I sat, releasing my lunch from its constraints, I smoothed out each bag. I was taking a bite of the PB&J sandwich when I felt a presence next to me,
"Hey," I turned, it was Ty. He was dressed in a pair of beige, frayed, shorts, and brown shirt covering his chest. His ipod was in his hand, the earphones wrapped around it. He was looking at me with his startling emerald eyes. Was it odd I felt like Dorothy, looking at Emerald City?
"Hey," I managed a weak smile. He usually sat further down the wall, about 15 feet, so I was surprised he had sat next to me.
"Why are you sitting here today?" he was blunt, I liked that.
"You know how I told you that I got in a fight with my friend?" he nodded, "Yeah well, I haven't been forgiven and so I can't sit with her," he raised his eyebrows, glancing at my table. He knew where I sat? "I was going to sit with my other friends, but I just ended up here...somehow."
He frowned, "Sorry about your friend. What was the fight about, if you don't mind me asking?"
I felt sick, "Well, uh, let's just say I promised her something, but under certain...circumstances I was unable to keep it. But it wasn't by choice."
"Well then, that was super vague." He smiled.
"Sorry, it's really complicated," I dropped my eyes, "I just don't want to talk about it." I waited for him to continue like I hadn't said anything. Beg me to tell him, pressure me to tell him.
He surprised me, "Ok." I looked at him, startled, but he was already over it. He sat, his hands behind him in the grass, earphones in, ipod on the wall next to him, and his head bobbing slightly. I was surprised, but in a good way. He didn't pressure me, he understood. So I resumed eating, in a better mood. The corset slightly undone, letting me breathe a little easier.
When I finished my lunch I crinkled up the bag, wincing. The crinkles are never truly gone. You can smooth them out, wipe them away for a while. But they're never gone for good.
It's like a fight. Say there is a huge blow out between friends, where both tell secrets and lies about the other. Then, finally, they make up. But the lies and secrets told will always bug them. Knowing that they were told, that they had been betrayed. No matter how much they tried to ignore it, smooth it out, forget it, they would always be there. Nagging in the back of their minds, just waiting to use it as ammo in the next fight. Crinkle, crinkle.
I must have been staring at the bag too long, lost in thought, because suddenly Ty was talking, "You ok?"
I looked up, looked at him. He was still sitting with his hands behind him, earphones in, ipod now on his lap, but his head was tilted forward and to the side, looking at me.
"Yeah, im fine." I lied, jumping off the wall, grabbing my garbage and book bag, "See you." I walked away, hearing him mutter a goodbye, no doubt curious about my behavior.
I went to my locker, in a small alcove with 5 lockers next to the stairs that led to the languages. I tried my combination 3 times before I finally got it. When I did I pulled on the handle, but it stuck. I glared at the lock, cursing it into oblivion, before tugging as hard as I could, and it flew open, hitting my head, "Shit!" I swore, rubbing my temple where the locker door had hit. The pain was sharp, spreading into my head, an instant headache. Then I heard someone laughing. I turned, about to tell the person off when he spoke,
"Hey, Amy right?" he asked, his sandy blonde hair spiked, like a million devil horns marking their territory.
"W-w-hat do you want?" I asked, backing against my locker, he grinned.
"Just to talk. I've...seen you around before. Thought you looked," he smiled a devilish smile. Those horns truly worked, "Nice."
"Fuck you," I spat, feeling my stomach twist looking at his hair.
"With pleasure, as long as your there," he reached forward to brush his fingers along my cheek and I flinched back. I patted my way to the wall, my head hitting the ceiling, the stairwell above me narrowing the standing space. He came forward, bending slightly to get near me. I looked behind him, hoping someone was there, but the bell was about to ring, no one was there. Plus we were almost hidden from view in the alcove.
"Please," I pleaded, "Just let me go to class. Leave me alone," his smile wilted along the edges, "Please?" I questioned again.
He reached out to touch me, I moved from his reach. "Im Ted, by the way." he walked closer.
"Leave. Me. ALONE!" I went to scream but he covered my mouth with his hand, hitting my head against the wall. Pain coursed through me like an electric jolt.
"I don't want to have to hurt you Amy, so don't give me a reason." his voice was low, warning. He went to remove his hand, and I tried to dart past him. His arm shot out, his fist hitting the locker. I ran straight into his arm, choking as my neck hit hard. I felt as though I was on a bike, full speed, and was wrung by a clothes line. I coughed, holding my throat. He ripped my hand away, replacing it with his own, "Stop Amy," his hold tightened, I was breathing raggedly, "Don't run. I like you, and I want to get to know you. If you would STOP moving!" his hand tightened, cutting off my air passage, my lung started to burn. Suddenly he was on me, his mouth savaging mine, tongue invading my mouth, as I swatted at his hand, trying to get a breath. I was feeling faint, black spots appearing in my vision, closing in, when I felt a little relief around my neck, I took a deep breath. Someone was coming down the stairs, we could here it, feet descending. But Ted didn't stop, he kept his mouth on mine, tightening his hold once again. He felt secure in the alcove. No one would see...
"Amy!" Ted ripped his mouth off mine, his hand tightened more, then let go. I fell to the floor, holding my neck, gasping for air.
Ty stood, a bathroom pass in hand, staring with horrified eyes at Ted, then me, then back at Ted. He took a menacing step forward, his eyes hardening, "What the fuck is going on?"
Ted took a step forward too, not bothered in the least, "None of your business," Ty stood his ground, "You can leave now," Ted swatted his hand, gesturing for him to leave.
"I believe," Ty's voice was angry, and yet frighteningly calm, "that it is my business. Amy," he looked over at me, I rubbed my throat, tears starting to well up in my eyes, "is my friend, and I want to know what I just saw." He knew, he knew what he'd seen. But he wanted to hear him say it, hear him admit it.
"Not. A. Damn. Thing." Ted advanced on Ty, his eyes threatening, Ty didn't move, "We were kissing, happy now?" Ted suddenly seemed aware that I, or Ty could tell someone what he had done to me. He was trying to cover up.
"Hm, funny," Ty stepped forward, now only a few feet from Ted. Ty was about an inch taller, so he made show of looking down at him, "It didn't look like that to me. To me it looked like you were hurting her," Ty paused, "That doesn't sit well with me." I stood up, my neck throbbed, but I could now breathe.
"Ty..." my voice was hoarse, raspy. He looked at me,
"Are you ok?" his voice softened, his eyes scanning my face, making sure I was all right.
"I'm...better," I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't sure I wanted a fight to happen. So I tried to sound somewhat optimistic...if that was possible. He studied me and could tell I wasn't being totally honest, but I think he could tell I didn't want them to fight...not now, so he nodded and looked back at Ted.
Ty pushed Ted into the locker, hard, a resounding crash echoed, he held him there, glaring at him, "If you ever lay a finger on her again, I swear to GodI will fucking kill you,"he paused, "Do you understand me?"
Ted didn't say anything and Ty lost it, "I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME," he roared, and I glanced around. Surprised when no one came running. Ted nodded, apparently he was only tough when he was dealing with girls. Ty let him stand straight, away from the locker, but then pushed him into it again, Ted almost fell, "Good." Ty held out his hand to me, beckoning. I walked forward, but he still held out his hand, so I slipped mine into it. He curled his fingers around mine, squeezing them tightly, and then led me out of the alcove and up the stairs. He was breathing hard, still angered. I squeezed his hand and he looked at me, then pulled me into a hug, holding me like I was his only mooring, like he was so relieved I was still there.
Author Note: So?