I'm back. Thanks for the feedback. Wanted to post this earlier but for some reason my laptop can't access this site but this desktop can. So weird. Anyone having the same problem? Any idea what I can do to fix this?

Thanks to Suz for the beta. You rock, girl!

Disclaimer: As in previous chapters, GA is not mine.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Things between the Shepherds had become civil, which Derek had been grateful for.
There were less one sided conversations but Addison was still distant and they haven't really talked about their marriage. Derek was certain things would soon improve evidenced by the spare key to the apartment in his possession.

Derek was pleasantly surprised when he found the key in his locker at the end of shift. He was pretty excited but had to use all of his will power to control the urge to move all his belongings. After work that day, he came over for dinner but left for the night. He did spend the weekend with Addison at the apartment and actually used his key to enter that Saturday morning. Addison didn't seem shocked to see him there and when evening came, she replaced the beddings of the guest room with new ones. She made sure Derek saw what she was doing so that there would be no misunderstandings about sleeping arrangements. He may be welcomed to stay at her place but Derek had a long way to go before she would even consider inviting him in her room.

The start of the third week of Addison's return had been a bad one. A preemie was found in the trashcan of a girls' bathroom at a local high school. The baby had a eminent blood condition and they needed to identify the mother in order to proceed with the operation. The school sent four teenaged girls, all barely 15 years old to the hospital for questioning. They were the last ones inside the bathroom but they denied any knowledge about the baby. After a difficult talk with the girls and their parents, Addison and the Chief convinced them to do blood tests to identify the mother and help save the newborn. The blood test results narrowed the choice to two girls and after Addison pleaded with them, the girl named Shannon came forward and told the truth.

The baby survived the operation but the case hit close to home for Addison. She understood how the young girl must have felt and panicked but what she couldn't understand was how they returned back to normal as if nothing had happened. The case made her think about her past, the night Derek found her with Mark in particular, and about her pregnancy. It shook her and she locked herself inside an on call room before Derek came in and comforted her. Addison didn't shun his comfort away but they didn't talk. Her husband was just glad that his silent offer was accepted. Derek was content just to hold her in his arms.

x x x

"Are you sure? it's okay for me to go?" asked Derek as he prepared his stuff for a camping trip with Preston Burke. It was Friday and they were at the apartment eating breakfast that Derek got earlier. He was concerned for his wife after the difficult week at work. Addison just looked at him and said nothing. "Addie? I can cancel with Preston and we could do something for the weekend."

He was still met by silence. "Addison?" he asked again.

Addison finally turned to him. "I really don't care, Derek. You never bothered to tell me where you go in the past or ask me if it's okay for you to go and be one with nature, why would today be any different? I'm not your keeper."

Derek just looked down, hurt with Addison's brush off. "Okay" he said in resignation. "I will be back on Sunday, in the afternoon probably. Maybe we could go out for dinner?" Addison shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, I think I better go now. I have to pick up Preston and I don't want to be late." He grabbed his stuff and leaned over to place a kiss on Addison's forehead.

"Have a good day at work." He said over his shoulder before leaving the apartment. Addison just continued eating her breakfast not even bothering to wave goodbye.

x x x

Addison had not even settled herself for the day when she got paged for a consult. A pregnant woman who slipped and fell in the shower came in the ER. Addison was just starting the ultrasound when Callie came in for the same case.

"I got paged?" Callie said as she came in the room.

"Yes. Dr. Torres, these are Ted and Jamie Carr. Jamie slipped and fell in the shower this morning." Addison presented while she checked the baby with the machine.

"I couldn't see my own feet." Jamie said in way of explaining her injury.

Callie lifted the ice pack on Jamie's hand. "Nasty break" she remarked. "Did you prescribe any meds for the pain?" she asked Addison.

"She refused." Addison replied.

"Oh, don't do that. Take the meds, believe me."

"The baby…" Jamie started. "I know Dr. Shepherd said it was alright but… I'll suffer" she said to Callie. Turning to Addison, she asked, "Is he okay? He was kicking like crazy earlier"

"He's probably just sleeping" Addison answered distractedly. A look of concern and then sadness washed over her face. Suddenly she excused herself out of the room. Callie and the Carrs looked on puzzled. The young doctor then proceeded to tell the couple about Jamie's injury to cover up Addison's departure.

Not long after, Callie followed Addison into the women's restroom where she saw the other surgeon hurriedly went.

'Addison, you okay?" She called out and stopped in front of the cubicle where she could see Addison's heels peeking out. She knocked once and Addison opened the door silently, not even bothering to hide her tears. Callie offered a hand up.

"You okay?" the young doctor asked again.

"Ever since the accident, I get emotional over things like this." Addison said tearfully. "I should be used to this but now that I've experienced the loss… it hurts."

"Add…what are you talking about?" Callie asked, concerned for her distraught friend. Addison forgot that the resident didn't know about the casualty of her accident.

"I was pregnant when the accident happened. I didn't know." She answered brokenly. "And this young couple, who are happy and this close to having their baby… they'll be devastated. The baby is dead." She said softly before a batch of tears fell down.

When the two women regained control of their emotions, Callie suggested that Addison should tell the Carrs right away. Addison shook her head and told the young doctor to give the couple a few more minutes before they let them know the bad news.

Callie had set Jamie's hand when Addison finally got the courage to tell the couple. Just by looking at the doctor's face, they knew that the news was grave. Addison had barely told them anything when realization came over the Carrs. Ted and Jaime broke down and the two doctors left them alone in their grief.

It was an emotional and difficult time for the Carrs and for Addison when the time to deliver the dead baby came. Jaime was crying all throughout the procedure while Ted tried to comfort his wife as best as he could. Addison also had trouble emotionally during the delivery but kept her professionalism and gently guided Jaime through the procedure. Callie stayed at the room in support for the devastated couple and for her friend.

It was past 8pm when Addison found Callie in the locker room. The unfortunate incident with the Carrs had made Addison miserable and sad the rest of the day and she needed to drown her sorrows. She sent a message to Callie to meet her at the doctor's locker room.

"Hey. Do you want to get a drink?" she asked Callie.

"Sure. Joe's?"

"I'd prefer somewhere else."

"Okay, I know just the place."

They wound up in a more upscale and relatively quiet bar, a few blocks from the hotel Addison stayed at when she arrived in Seattle. The women ordered martinis but Callie was smart enough not to match Addison's pace in downing the drinks. The younger woman knew her friend's intention of getting smashed and she had appointed herself to be the responsible one of the pair. Addison was well on her way through her third martini when she suddenly opened up about her baby issues.

"I always wanted to have a baby." She started. "We talked about it after we got married and decided to start when we have our careers on track and life got less hectic. The time came briefly and then we really got successful. Our intimacy became less about love and starting a family. I felt Derek pull away but I never said anything."

She finished the drink and motioned for another. "I would have been fine with it, you know? Pregnant without Derek. A single mother. I wouldn't have been devastated if my marriage fell apart since I'll have someone to love and love me in return unconditionally. I wouldn't have been alone or cast aside."

Callie reached for her friend's hand for a squeeze of comfort. Addison gave her a small smile then picked up her newly arrived drink and raised it to Callie's for a toast. "Here's to things that could have been" she said then quickly downed her fourth martini.

x x x

Derek was going out of his mind. It was past midnight and Addison had not returned home yet. He already tried her phone and the hospital but no one had seen or heard from her. Miranda Bailey had called him earlier and mentioned that Addison was looking sad and lost the whole day after an upsetting case. Upon hearing this, Derek immediately cut his camping trip short and returned to the city. He was now in Addison's living room, pacing.

Derek reached for his phone again and dialed Addison's number. When her voicemail picked up, he started to leave another message. "Addie, it's me again. Where are you? Please, I just want to know if you're safe and…" He trailed off when he heard the lock of the door snap open. Derek threw his phone to the couch and rushed over.

"Oh, God! Addison!" he exclaimed and pulled his wife in his arms. "Where have you been?" Addison smelled of smoke and vodka.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, clearly tipsy.

"Addison, you've been drinking." He stated obviously, Then he realized something else. "Oh my God! You drove intoxicated! Something could have happened to you!" a distraught Derek said. Memories of the accident flashed before his eyes.

"Callie drove." She answered casually but she hadn't missed the concern and fear in Derek's voice. He hugged her to him again.

"I'm just glad you're safe." He whispered tenderly.

Addison softened when she heard this. She was still emotional and a bit drunk. Derek had been pretty wonderful the past few days and she couldn't help but seek him out. She relaxed in his embrace and then started to kiss his neck. Derek closed his eyes at the sensation. It felt good to feel his wife's lips on his skin.

When he felt Addison's hands tug his shirt out of his pants, Derek placed his hands over hers and looked at her. "Are you sure, Addie?" he asked.

Addison kissed him fully in response.

You may recognize some S3 storylines but in this fic, Addison was never pregnant with Mark's baby. Just wanted to clear that up. :)