And with tears of blood he cleansed the hand,
The hand that held the steel;
For only blood can wipe out blood,
And only tears can heal.
~ Oscar Wilde
The chapel had never been used much, the children of this school inclined to worship anything save for the general cultural pop icons of their generation. It was quiet and still within the confines of its cool stone walls with its single dusty pew. A tray of candles sat under an altar, the lead glass window would shine blues and reds and yellows across the carpeted floor in the morning, but at the moment it was dark as the night outside. The carpet was thick and soft under Jubilee's feet as she crept into the small chapel. It was three in the morning, and Paige had left the previous morning to visit her relatives. The nightmares had increased.
Jubilee shivered at the memory and quietly knelt in one corner of the chapel. She did not come here to pray, she couldn't have said that she believed in anything in particular. Yet, she remembered places like this, quiet soft places where she would sit and watch her mother light a candle and pray. It had been a very, very long time since Jubilee had entered anything even remotely resembling a church, but she could still feel the safety in the stone walls.
She curled up on the carpet, laying her head against her arms and watched the small candle burning brightly. She pondered who might have lit it. Perhaps Angelo, or maybe Irish. They were both Catholic, or at least she'd assumed they were. She realised she'd never really asked them before. It wasn't something on the "need to know" list she kept in her head for the people she knew. She brushed aside the thoughts that crowded her head and closed her eyes, curling back against the wall behind her and tried to sleep, perhaps here the nightmares wouldn't find her.
***
Past...
Jubilee ran her breath rasping in gasps from her throat as she sucked in air, and thrashed through the snow and the trees in front of her. It was a forest, why did the bad guys always seem to wanna drag you out beyond any civilization? Like it was some kinda code or something. Kidnap sidekick, take to wilderness setting and beat the living shit out of.
Well, it hadn't worked, she'd escaped and the dumb fuck wouldn't even realise she was gone till it was too late. Jubilee grinned when she thought about how proud Wolvie would be of her. They'd have to respect her now, they'd see that she was more then just a mouth and a yellow raincoat. She slipped and tumbled a short way, fetching up against a log with a hard thump. Cursing under her breath she rubbed her side and picked herself up. Damn roots, you'd think the trees could stick them somewhere more convenient, like not under her feet. It'd been an hour now since she'd left the cave Sabertooth had holed her up in. She'd knocked him out cold with a rock she'd found lying on the floor at the back of the cave.
Jubilee was young, arrogant and a teenager, it hadn't occurred to her that Sabertooth might have been faking it. She was more concerned with how much damage all this foliage and weird nature stuff was doing to her clothing. This was why when he popped up in front of her beyond the next hill and backhanded her into the nearest tree she was altogether on the shocked side.
'Oh Fuck,' was the last thing she managed to think before her head cracked against the tree, and she was down for the count.
***
She awoke in the cave, her shoes had been stripped away at some stage, and Sabertooth sat watching her, a smile briefly appearing before it was gone. Jubilee didn't like the look of that smile one bit.
"You ain't gonna get outta here. If this didn't prove that, then you are one dumb stupid bitch. But just to prove it to ya a little more, I'm gonna give you a little lesson."
Sabertooth reached forward and sank his claws into her ankle, applying pressure to the bone. Jubilee bit back a scream with effort, her teeth clamping down on her lip and drawing blood. This stoicism lasted as long as it took for Sabertooth to crush the bones of her ankle, turning her flesh purple with broken blood vessels, the swelling already beginning to make her ankle twice its normal size. Jubilee screamed, her cry starting low and developing into an ear-splitting caterwaul as Sabertooth ground the bones together, the snap and pop of them cracking and then crushing loud in her ears.
"You see, frail? There's nothing you can do. You can't beat me; you can't even stand up. So, you shut up, you do what I say, and maybe I'll just kill you."
He brushed his bloodied hand over her hair and down her face in a caress, the look in his eyes making her shudder. He smiled and stood, walking to the entrance of the cave and then out. Jubilee whimpered, her ankle one mass of pain, but she wouldn't faint, Logan wouldn't, so she couldn't do less then that. She would get through this, make him proud of her, she would.
***
Sabertooth licked the blood from a claw as he stood at the entrance of the cave. He could hear the soft whimpers of the girl from inside. She would prove an interesting distraction for the time being. He knew the runt cared for this one, and unlike the Jewish girl she had no abilities to protect herself. The light show had been amusing of course but little more then that. He'd fought blind before and the momentary discomfort of the explosions was more then compensated for by his own mutant power. He'd been amused enough by the frail's attempt however that he'd only strangled her into unconsciousness, rather then killing her.
She really wouldn't do him any good dead. He wanted her corpse to be fresh for when he finally let Wolverine find her. He smiled at the thought of laying the girl's fresh corpse out in front of his enemy, and seeing the look of disbelief and failure in the runt's face right before he finally killed him. That would come later however, the game would need to go on for quite some time. He'd learnt that his enemy was quite resilient, and killing the girl now would be a minor pain, something forgotten except for the burning need for revenge he knew he already inspired in Wolverine for the several previous times he'd damaged or broken his little pets.
It had always amused him that Wolverine felt genuine affection for these weaklings. It was a weakness that was so easily exploited; he couldn't understand why he let it happen. Now, that very emotional attachment would be the end of him. Sabertooth had grown tired of playing with this particular toy, it was time to finally kill and eat the mouse. To do that he would need to be patient, he needed to drive Wolverine to the edge mentally before he confronted him physically, something he had no problems with, especially since he had a new toy to amuse him while he waited.
***
Now...
She groaned in pain as she awoke, the soft carpeted floor still no match for a proper mattress. Her ankle ached this morning, and she looked down at the plaster with a wrinkled nose. They'd said they couldn't heal it properly, that even Shi'ar technology was no match for the extensive damage done. The best they'd been able to do was heal it sufficiently that she'd be able to limp with it without too much pain. But she'd never be fit for the superhero gig again. It was just one more failure, one more loss to add to all the others that seemed piled into a pyramid of regrets and fear and self-loathing.
***
Jonothon closed the door quietly behind him, although he knew no one could hear him in this part of the school. There was a light in the chapel; this might not be unusual in itself since often Angelo or Mr Cassidy would leave a candle burning. What was unusual is that he could sense someone in the chapel. Moving quietly he quickly crossed the distance between the outside door to the entrance, and peered inside. He blinked when he saw Jubilee sitting on the pew.
Jonothon had gotten used to not needing sleep over the years since his powers manifested. He still tried to shut down for a few hours every night, if only to kill the time between dusk and dawn, but that mockery of real sleep was nothing like what he remembered from before. His body no longer needed the down-time, his brain didn't automatically slow down, nor did his muscles relax in the way they used to when his body finally tired itself out. It was effort of will more then anything else that shunted him off into the darkness for a few blessed hours of oblivion. If he dreamed, he didn't remember it and was glad for the respite.
Lately, he'd taken to patrolling the school, although he didn't consciously call it that. He'd felt restless since the night Paige had come running into his room, telling him that she'd seen Jubilee being carted off by Sabertooth in the cold dawn light. She'd been smart not to chase after him, even with her husking ability she was no match for a man who could go toe to toe with the X-men and survive.
Jonothon knew Emma blamed herself for being asleep, for not sensing or knowing of Sabertooth's presence, but she wasn't like him, wasn't mostly energy in a human shell. He knew most of them thought he brooded on that but he'd accepted long ago that he would never be fully human again. Still, he'd become a world class lurker and brooder in the years before that and it was hard to give up habits so well ingrained.
He walked into the chapel, flinching inwardly as he noted Jubilee's dull stare as she noted the movement. She'd obviously not expected the company, because the stare turned from dull to frightened to angry in a rapid-fire succession of emotions that left Jono's telepathic senses slightly seasick. He thanked the gods he wasn't an empath and raised his eyebrows at her.
(Firecracker, what're you doin' up this late?)
She glared at him, hugging her legs against her chest as she turned back to the small candles burning in their holders..
"Go away, Jono."
She didn't want him to do that, he could sense it even without the empathic abilities. What she wanted more then anything was for someone to hold her and tell her it was gonna be all right. He knew this because it's exactly what he had wanted, so long ago. Only, he'd not wanted anyone to know that he needed it either. The war between being strong, and seeking help, between pride and a desperate need for comfort was a strange one. You could lash out at the people who were only trying to care about you because it shamed you to let them see you so weak. You hated yourself for that weakness, all the while despairing that you might ever crawl out of the hole you'd found yourself in alone.
Jonothon wasn't having a minute of it. He knew those tricks, had used them all himself on countless occasions and he wasn't gonna buy the bullshit attitude for a second. Sitting down beside her, he slung his arm up against the back of the pew. Jubilee backed away a little further, depsite the fact that he was nowhere near her. He could see her shaking slightly, her eyes fixed on the stained glass window. Jono sighed, closing his eyes for a second against the pain of seeing his friend like this. It was all the more painful because there was nothing he could do about it. He shrugged as if her rejection hadn't been noticed and leant back against the pew, looking up at the beamed roof.
(So, read any good books lately?)
"Asshole."
(World class, even got an award for it.)
Jubilee smiled despite herself, and finally looked at him. "What're you doin' wanderin' around the school this time of night, Jono?"
(Perfecting my dangerous lookin' broodin' guy impersonation, yourself?)
She hesitated a moment and the look in her eyes made him want to find that bastard and tear him five ways from Sunday. "Nightmares."
(Yeah, I get those too sometimes. But staying in here isn't going to do you any good. You need your sleep, Jubie.)
"Can't, he's always there waiting," she whispered brokenly.
(Jubie, what if I could make sure he wouldn't be waiting?)
"You can't control dreams, Jono."
Jonothon deflated a bit, he wished he could have said that he could control dreams. He wished that he could have taken the nightmares away from his friend. The truth was, he couldn't. He hadn't the control for that level of minute manipulation, yet anyhow. All he had was a jackhammer when what he needed was a scalpel. He couldn't help her that way. He could however try to win her trust; maybe over time he'd win enough of it that she'd let him closer. He had a thought that the nightmares came when she was alone and unfortunately with Paige gone there was no one to watch over her.
(How about I take you back to your room?)
Jubilee sighed, looking around the chapel. "Here, my room, what difference does it make?"
Jonothon thought for a moment, running over options. He never slept, people who never sleep have a tendency to develop diversions to help with the long arduous haul that is the hours between dusk and dawn. One of Jonothon's diversions was music. He'd been a musician for quite some time before his power had blown his face off. Now he was no longer able to sing, but he could still play and did so frequently. Perhaps he could share his music with Jubilee now and ease her pain a little. He knew it was a fairly lame start, especially since she didn't even trust him enough to sit close to him but it was a start.
(How about we go to the rec room then. I've got my guitar in there somewhere, I could probably play you something. Heck, it might even bore you to sleep.)
Jubilee snorted and shook her head. She'd heard Jono play, there were many things she could say about it but boredom inducing wasn't one. Should she trust him? She'd trusted Paige and Paige seemed to love this man. Only, it was so hard to let people close right now. It felt as if she was waiting for the pain, although she had no idea why she expected them to give her pain. Only that the feeling of impending doom was always there. The only way she got rid of it was by running and training till she was almost blacking out with exhaustion, but even that didn't stop the nightmares. She'd lie awake an hour; sometimes it would be three, later, trembling and wet with fear sweat. The only time the nightmares didn't come was if someone was in the room with her, watching over her sleep. But Paige wasn't here right now. If she'd been at the mansion she might have gone to the Professor. As stern as he appeared sometimes he'd always been kind to her. Aloof, but he'd always given her the time of day when she had questions. She had a feeling he'd know what these feelings were like too; he'd gone through his own tortures. But she wasn't at the mansion.
"Sure, got nothin' better to do," she said, trying for nonchalant but got merely exhausted.
Jono smiled inwardly and nodded, getting to his feet and moving out of her way. Jubilee smiled thankfully at him and walked by, careful not to let him into her personal space. It wasn't that she disliked Jonothon, or distrusted him even. It was just that lately she'd not been able to let anyone in her personal space without a panic attack almost crippling her. It'd taken Paige a week of living in almost constant contact with her before Jubilee had let her near, and Emma had been in her mind almost as constantly.
But she supposed she'd have to make some attempt at resuming normal human contact sooner or later, might as well be now. Night-time had a way of doing that, making decisions that would have been impossible in the light of day almost easy in comparison. Perhaps after awhile, she might even be able to talk to Jono without feeling like running away.