Sorry, there wouldn't be a sequel but I have a surprise for you guys in the end.
Anyway, on to the update...
Disclaimer in previous chapters. Special thanks to Suz for the beta.
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE (EPILOGUE)
The truth was, their healing, the one that required a no holds barred discussion of everything that had unraveled in their marriage and its aftermath, didn't begin that fateful night. That was just scratching the surface, a superficial cut through their defenses that prohibited them to open up about their issues. The real healing began five weeks after that night.
They wanted seclusion and peace so they decided to get everything out during their week long vacation in Vancouver Island. They had wanted to do it right away but Derek, who volunteered to be the one to ask for their time off, had trouble convincing the Chief to let them go. Richard reasoned that the hospital could not afford to lose both of them, even for just a week, given the amount of cases pouring in. When none of Derek's attempts nor Addison's charm and friendly persuasion worked on their boss, the Shepherds changed tactics.
Derek and Addison orchestrated fake arguments that would end on a make out session in the middle of the surgical floor or when they'd get carried away, which happened most of the time, end up in a locked on call room. This went on for about almost a month, occurring mostly when the Chief or Debbie was in their vicinity.
But Richard was on to the Shepherds' shenanigans and only threw them a stern glare whenever they acted in front of him. There were a handful of times though that the Chief suspected that the Shepherds' arguments were real, when Derek would rake his fingers into his hair in frustration or when Addison's eyes would water a bit during the fight. Richard would be certain that the spat was real when after they both have ran out of steam, their faces would soften considerably. There was bound to be disagreements between the two. After all, they are Derek and Addison and fighting was a major part of their lives.
The Chief finally relented after a month when a major blow up between the married couple had resulted in getting Callie Torres, who was sleeping at the on call room after a non stop triple shift, unceremoniously booted out of the room. The cranky ortho resident had voiced out to Richard what everyone was dying to say – to do something about the Shepherds so that they could all work in peace.
Being uncertain if the argument was real or not, Richard heeded his staff's request and bravely entered the on call room. He knocked once and had even closed his eyes in fear of getting an eyeful of exposed body parts he could live without seeing before entering. To his relief though, Derek and Addison were sitting side by side on the bed, their backs to the wall and their legs stretched out. They were sharing a chocolate bar with mischievous smiles on their faces which meant that they knew it was just a matter of time until Richard comes in and offer a proposal to their demand.
"You win. One week off starting next Monday but no more of this staged arguments on my floor. Are we clear?" Richard said, conceding, and then quickly left.
Derek and Addison smiled knowingly and continued eating their chocolate.
x x x
After Derek and Addison settled themselves at the Wickanninish Inn, they wasted no time getting down to business. It was Addison who went first and talked about the night of her affair with Mark. She described how sad she was, how fed up she was about Derek's absence and indifference. Of how her self doubt and insecurities had overcome her and how Mark's constant presence had eased those feelings and consequently led her to seek comfort from the other man that night. Addison expressed how disgusted she felt when the realization of what she had done hit her and the remorse that followed, which she would forever carry.
She confessed to him that after he had walked out, she stayed at the bottom of the stairs and waited for him to come back. Addison didn't move from her spot for the rest of the night and most of the next day until Savannah came and took care of her. She recalled that for three days she stayed locked at Savvy's guestroom, crying and calling his phone. She finally returned to the brownstone only to find a few of his belongings gone and no signs of Derek ever coming back. After a week of no communication whatsoever with her husband and only Savvy, Weiss and Mark to keep her afloat, Addison had convinced herself that her marriage was truly over and blindly moved in with Mark. She had stayed with him with the belief that she hadn't thrown away her marriage for a fling of nearly two months until Richard's phone call awoke her from her trance.
Throughout her painful recollection of that horrible night, Derek kept a firm hold of Addison's hands. He only let go of their hands' embrace just enough for them to wipe the tears that kept flowing from their eyes. And when she had finished with her part, he didn't miss a beat to continue on with his.
Derek recalled what he felt upon seeing her with Mark, how the anger and hurt overcame him when he left. He drove around aimlessly after leaving their brownstone that night and ended up in the driveway of his childhood home. He left soon after making a decision to run away from New York and dropped by their brownstone long enough to get a few possessions. Derek didn't know where he wanted to go and Seattle just popped into his mind when he remembered Richard Webber.
He told Addison about the night when he met Meredith in a bar. Derek, angry at his wife and about the way his life had turned, drunkenly flirted with the young blonde and ended up sleeping with her. He confessed that being with Meredith made him forget about New York and Addison so he continued to see her despite the inappropriateness of the situation.
They talked about their feelings and reactions once Addison arrived in Seattle. Of how scared and tentative she felt being in his presence but grateful nonetheless. He confessed his anger at her arrival because it disrupted the peace he had found. And with a heavy heart, Derek honestly said that most of the time he was doing things to deliberately hurt her.
They ended their talk there but didn't retreat into themselves and fester in the hurt and anger of the past. Derek and Addison sought each other for comfort and reassurance. They slept the night away with tears in their eyes but their bodies nestled against each other.
It was Derek who started their heart to heart the next day with the account of his thoughts and feelings the night of her accident. He recalled his guilt about prom, his anger at himself for his stupidity and most of all the fear he felt of losing her all together. Then, he told her about his soul searching every night he sat by her side, about finding an explanation but in the end never really getting nor understanding why he had become indifferent to his wife but he assured her it was never about her or anything she did. He recounted all his realizations in those nights by her side and the promise he had made to make it all up to her.
That was what the Shepherds had done the first two days at the Wick Inn. Discussed every thought and feeling about what happened to their marriage and its aftermath – including the loss of their child. They barely touched on the subject though but promised that when they were both ready, they would discuss the matter of children at length.
The whole duration of their talk was filled with opportunities for angry and bitter words that would, in the past, end in a huge fight or of one of them walking out but not once did it happen. There were tears and heartaches but there was also recognition of their mistakes and most importantly absolution for them.
And when the tears had dried, their hearts mended with acceptance and forgiveness, Derek and Addison sealed their rebuilding with promises of learning from their mistakes and never again taking each other for granted. They ended their emotional "healing" with a tender night of love making reminiscent of their first night together.
They stayed in the Inn for 5 more days, taking advantage of their time together. They treated their stay as a second honeymoon – enjoying the Inn's facilities and activities in the day and spent the nights making love.
They returned to Seattle with renewed spirits and a deeper connection with each other. The people at the hospital, who barely knew the Shepherds at their marital best, had noticed the glow between the two and remarked how good it was to see them that way. Richard, who had known them the longest, had even said that this was better than their best in New York.
x x x
The true test on their new and improved relationship came 4 months after their healing in the form of a one week medical conference for Addison in New York. She saw this as an opportunity to settle things in their past lives, to bury past demons really, and had suggested to Derek to accompany her. But after seeing the hesitation in his eyes, she did not push the issue further, accepting the fact that her husband might not be ready and to just wait for that time.
She didn't have to wait long though. 2 days after leaving Seattle, Derek followed her to New York.
They stayed at the brownstone, soaking in the memories – good and bad. There was hesitation upon entering their old bedroom but was instantly gone when Derek took her hand and led her to the bed where they held each other through the night. They didn't dwell on that horrible night but instead focused on happy memories.
With Addison busy at the conference, Derek took charge of settling their affairs. He made arrangement for the sale of the brownstone and decided to just put the house in the Hamptons up for lease. He spent the day packing items and mementos that would fit nicely in their home, currently in construction, in Seattle.
Addison skipped the last day of the conference and they decided to stay in the city for 2 more days to see friends and family. They even ventured bravely to their old hospital, fully aware that by doing so, they were courting a possible disaster. Throughout their visit, they never missed an opportunity for contact – her arm around his waist or his hand on her back but mostly their hands entwined. And when the inevitable came – encountering Mark Sloan – both stood their ground. They never felt the urge to walk away from the situation.
The three former close friends just stood there, holding gazes across the hallway. They never said a word or broke eye contact until Derek gave a slight nod of acknowledgement and turned away, slightly tugging on his wife. Addison, in turn, gave a small smile before following her husband. Mark stared after them until the Shepherds were out of sight and turned the other way with a smile on his face.
x x x
Derek and Addison's lives had finally found its balance and contentment. 2 months after their trip to New York, they moved into their new house which was a fusion of the sophistication of Manhattan and the laid back sense of Seattle. Just like what they have done with their marriage, the construction of their house was founded in working together and of compromises. In a way, their house was the physical manifestation of what they have gone through to rebuild.
But of course, their marriage, just like anything in the world, was not perfect by all means. There were arguments still but nothing that would lead to sleepless nights or cold, silent moments. They knew not to let their anger and hurt simmer for long as both were terrified of repeating past mistakes. Derek and Addison were aware of the terrible consequences and never lost sight of the fact. They wouldn't dare go through those 3 years of heartache ever again.
Extending their family was what all they really need to make their life a little more complete. And when 8 months had passed since that night Addison went home and ended the vicious cycle they were going through, they deemed themselves ready for that next stage.
It was time to start a new cycle in life.
Did you guys notice, I didn't put a 'The End'? That's right folks! It's not done yet. :) Because you guys just rock with the reviews, I've something extra. Check back tomorrow for the final ending. :)