Ship(s): Prinxiety
WC: 2400
TW: Virgil and Roman angst(bc of intrusive thots?). Old Writing.
Virgil sat in his room, staring at the wall. Everything was just piling onto him. How no one noticed was baffling to him. Music didn't calm him down. He couldn't sleep. Anxiety was making it hard to feel hungry, even though he hadn't eaten anything in the past couple days. Patton was probably worried that he was avoiding all of them again, which he'd been doing for the most of the week, with the exception of the video. And then there was the Dark Sides that he somehow let slip out. Some embodiment of anxiety he was. He'd let himself out , only to have the other two follow. And he had to deal with the fact that he finally said it. That he had been one of them. He wasn't even sure how Thomas hadn't guessed it. He hadn't felt good since Remus decided to poke his ugly face out of his trash can of a mind and share it with Thomas. Remus had been right. He was still the bad guy. He wouldn't have thought that he'd have to admit that that bastard was right twice but there he was. Pathetic. Curled up on his bed crying non-stop, not eating, panic attacks hourly, not letting anyone help. He'd even locked his door. He started shaking, breathing picking up speed. Not another one. He'd had about 11 panic attacks in the past 5 hours. By now, he was getting used to them. He already couldn't breathe, why not make it harder? He bit his lip, his hands gripping his hair. He couldn't keep doing this. The taste of iron hit his tongue. His breath hitched. He was so tired. Shaking started to spread over his body. He let out a cry, tears running down his face. Nobody could even help. That would've been great. He put his head on his knees. He bit down harder on his lip, more iron hitting his tongue. He was just hoping there'd be something to calm him down.
~~Time Skip~~
Virgil sighed. There wasn't any way of not feeling horrible. He felt weak and unneeded. He was supposed to protect Thomas and yet he couldn't. He slid off of his bed, making his way to his bathroom. He pushed open the door. He didn't really want to do anything there beside wash his face. He looked at the mirror. His eyeshadow was running down his face, his foundation was basically gone, and he looked like a mess. Not that he ever looked good. He tried to take a deep breath. He bent down and turned on the sink, splashing his face with water. He turned off the sink, grabbing a towel. He put it down, looking up at the mirror. Why was he even doing this? He was just going to go back to his bed and feel miserable again. He felt like punching the glass. His appearance was in shambles. His hair was disheveled, his bottom lip had a large cut, his eyes were puffy, his face still had traces of eyeshadow and foundation. He looked like a bag of shit. There was a light drumming above him. Rain. It was rain. Maybe, just maybe that'd calm him.
Roman sat up, glaring at the mirror in the corner of his room. He wasn't getting much sleep, even when he tried. Honestly, that made it harder to fall asleep. He sighed and stared out his window. It was raining. Virgil would love the rain. Roman frowned. He, along with the other two, was worried about Virgil. Patton especially. Ever since the video...Roman shook the thought from his mind. He sighed again. He just needed a glass of water. That should help him fall asleep. He flipped his covers off of him, standing up and trudging to his doorway. He walked down the hall passing by Virgil's door. It was cracked open. Roman paused. It was cracked open. He backed up a few steps, stopping at the door. He pushed it open. Virgil wasn't there. Roman sighed. He left and slowly went down the stairs. He entered the kitchen, grabbing a glass from one of the cupboards and filling it with water. He took a sip, brows furrowing. He knew there was no getting out of thinking about the video. Just like his idiot brother, it was an intrusive thought. Roman chugged the rest of the water and set the glass in the sink. He started walking back to his room, only to notice the back door was cracked open. Roman contemplated just ignoring it, leaving whoever was out there alone, but that was when he noticed the fact that Virgil's door had been cracked open. That meant that the only person that could possibly be out there was Virgil. Roman swiftly walked to the door, poking his head out of the crack. And there Virgil was. He was curled up and holding himself as if he was the only thing keeping himself together. Roman let out a silent breath and opened the door the rest of the way. If Virgil noticed, he didn't show it. Roman walked out sitting down next to Virgil. The dark persona shifted, scooting over a bit. They sat in silence for a bit, Roman glancing at Virgil every now and again. He wore his usual attire, with exception to some sweatpants. Most of his face was hidden though, making it hard to read his expression. The continued watching the rain, it lightening up a bit after a while. Finally, Virgil signed.
"Why are you doing out here, Princy?"
Roman tensed up at the noise. Virgil's voice was quiet and gravely, almost sad. Roman cleared his throat.
"I saw the door open and was wondering who would be out here at 3 in the morning."
Virgil hummed in response.
"What about you?"
Roman could feel Virgil's eyes drilling into the back of his skull.
"What about me?"
Roman sucked in a breath. He was getting defensive.
"Why are you out here?"
Virgil's gaze moved off of Roman and out to the rain. He didn't respond. Roman turned to Virgil. It seemed like he shrunk into himself.
"Virge?"
"Rain," Virgil said quickly. "I came out here for the rain. It's better than feeling like an absolute failure in my room."
Roman tensed again. None of them had even thought about why Virgil locked himself in his room.
"Oh," Roman managed to choke out. Some friends they were. "Oh..."
Roman bit his lip, looking past the rain and into the forest in the distance. They could worry all they wanted. It did nothing to help whatever mood Virgil was in. They were idiots to not think why. Now he knew. That was pretty obvious by now.
"It wasn't your fault."
Virgil scoffed.
"Oh, that makes me feel so much better about the situation."
His voice dripped with sarcasm.
"Virgil. It wasn't. Just because you know them better doesn't mean it's your job to keep them under control. We're all responsible for them. We are that light sides."
"Did you forget I was one of them, Roman," Roman tensed at Virgil saying his name with so much venom. "If anything, I'm a grey side. I'm not a light side any more than I am a dark side. And it is my job to keep them from hurting Thomas. You know how that's going for me? I'm failing in miserably. I'm supposed to protect Thomas and I'm doing a piss-poor job of it. It'd probably be better if I just withered away in my bedroom."
Virgil's voice cracked.
Roman stared at Virgil, watching him start shaking. Panic attack. God knows how many of those Virgil had had in the past week. Roman scooted toward Virgil, placing a hand on his back and rubbing circles.
"You're not doing a piss-poor job of protecting Thomas. You're probably what kept the dark sides at bay for so long. And Patton, Logan and I wouldn't let you wither away in your bedroom. You know Patton would kick your door down if you even tried more than a week. He's been threating it, you know."
A subdued chuckle came from Virgil.
"And after that, I'm sure Logan would force-feed you something, yelling at how you should skip meals because it's unhealthy. I would go beat some dark side asses and make sure they didn't come out of where they are, then I'm sure we'd all binge-watch some Disney movies. I'm not even sure Logan would protest."
Virgil shifted closer to Roman, latching onto him. Roman blushed a bit. Virgil rarely accepted help. And Roman was the one he accepted. Roman smiled. After a while, Virgil's shaking slowly came to a stop, leaving two cold sides in the pouring rain.
"You wanna go inside and get a snack?"
Virgil nodded slightly, Roman only feeling it because Virgil had a death-grip on him. Roman waited for Virgil to let go. He didn't. Roman sighed.
"I'm gonna have to carry you, aren't I?"
Virgil nodded again. Roman gave an annoyed look before telling Virgil to hold on. He lifted him up princess style, mentally forcing the door open. He walked in, trudging to a counter and setting Virgil down on it. He went to a cupboard, digging through random noodle bags, instant mac, and cans of soup. He wasn't going to lie, even though he acted calm about finding Virgil out in the rain, he was glad that he did. He was beyond relieved. Patton, although pretty caught up in his own worry, had caught onto Logan and Roman's. Patton had even confessed that Roman was probably the most worried. He had stayed in his room for a day, just to recharge after Remus, but when he figured out that Virgil hadn't come out of his room since the video, he flipped. He wasn't sure Logan and Patton saw him the same after he chucked a cup across the room and charged into the dark side area just to smack Deceit and Remus' smirks off of their faces with the blunt of his sword. Roman found the pack of pop-tarts. He pulled them out and set them on the counter, grabbing a packet and handing it to Virgil, who gladly took it. Roman grabbed one for himself and placed the box back in the cupboard. He closed it with his knee, opening the pack of pop-tarts and leaning against the counter. They sat in thick silence. Roman ate his pop-tarts quickly, afterward watching Virgil finish one of his. Virgil set his other pop-tart down, looking up at Roman.
"Thanks, Princy."
Roman stared at Virgil for a bit before answering.
"Of course, Emo Nightmare."
Virgil looked up fully, still cradling himself. Roman took in a silent breath, guilt settling in the pit of his stomach.
"I mean it."
Roman nodded, a knot forming in his throat. He cleared his throat, attempting to get rid of it and failing to.
"You feeling better?"
Virgil snorted, making Roman blush.
"Naw, I still feel like shit."
Roman sucked in a breath, glaring down at the ground. He felt like punching something. The only way he was helping Virgil was by getting him a pack of pop-tarts. He was unconscious for most of the video. He'd been absolutely useless in it. Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Thomas all did something and all he did was lay on the floor. He didn't even know that Remus, his twin brother, was out of the dark. And the fact that Virgil blamed himself for the dark sides getting out.
"Ro!"
Roman's head jerked to Virgil's voice, which was lined with worry.
"Sorry, Virge. I..."
Roman trailed off, scratching the back of his neck, smiling a bit and looking back at the ground. His smile faded.
"You what?"
The sharpness of concern hit Roman. He looked back up at Virgil, noticing that his legs were hanging off the edge of the counter. His look wasn't exactly hard, but it was pressing.
"I...I guess you're not the only one who feels that way."
Virgil's gaze softened. Then he smirked.
"Well...we can be mopey bastards together."
Roman chuckled and nodded, smiling.
"I'm pretty sure Remus is the bastard, but why not?"
Virgil smiled fully. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a couple of seconds. He opened them again.
"I'm gonna try and fall asleep," He said, slowly scooting off of the counter.
"You wanna come to my room, seeing as yours is so dark?"
Virgil's feet hit the ground.
"Yeah. I don't think spending any more time with my thoughts is a good idea."
Roman nodded.
"You might wanna finish your pop-tart first, though."
Virgil stuffed his left hand into his hoodie. He stared dead into Roman's eyes and grabbed the pop-tart with his unpocketed hand, walking over to the trashcan and dropping it in.
"Tired," He said, trudging back over to Roman while shoving his other hand into his pockets. "Too tired."
Roman snickered. He stopped leaning on the counter and started towards his room, Virgil close behind. Roman opened the door, holding it open for Virgil, who only rolled his eyes at Roman's endeavor. Roman went in himself, climbing into the spot he'd been laying in over an hour ago. He patted the spot next to him.
"Come on, Virge."
Virgil stared at the spot with widened eyes. Roman swore he saw the emo blush.
"Naw, I think I'm good," Virgil said, avoiding Roman's eyes. He pointed at the beanbag in the corner with his thumb. "I'll take the beanbag."
Roman raised his eyebrows warningly.
"The beanbag won't help you get some sleep. Trust me, that thing is super uncomfortable."
"I'll take my chances."
Roman sighed.
"Virge."
Virgil hummed in response, turning to the beanbag.
"Get in the bed. If you don't, I'll drag you."
Virgil sighed.
"Alright, Princy. Alright."
He rolled his eyes and trudged over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. He got onto the bed and slid under the covers, turned away from Roman.
"But don't expect me to snuggle you."
Roman laid down fully and smiled happily.
"I'm not expecting anything."
They both fell asleep quickly, only to awake by a squealing Patton fanboying over the fact that they were snuggling