I am really ready to murder the computer right now. I had this all written and saved, ready to put on FFN, and then the computer saved it wrong and turned it into 127 pages of a line consisted of this: #####^^&*!#$$#444%$^%%#^$#^&$^^%#4^^^$#5$#^&^*%^%#5$#%%%^&%&*$^#%$#% at the top of every page, and then nothingness until the next page. So I had to retype the whole thing. This isn't the original version, because unfortunately that was completely gone. I hope I managed to re-write it the way I wanted it to turn out for you guys.
Light was sure he was having a breakdown. He couldn't believe he was attracted to Ryuuzaki! He was so thin – but that just gave him a fragile beauty. His eyes were dark, the color of coal, soft, and had a depth behind them that Light had never seen in anyone else. His hair was soft and feathery, the exact shade of raven's wings – ok, he was not helping his own case right now!
And, to top this all off, he was scaring himself because if he stopped to think about it, really think about it, he had feeling for Ryuuzaki. They were there, buried where he hadn't noticed them. He didn't know how this had escaped him before. He hypothesized it was because he had never felt those things before, and had not been expecting to, so he didn't notice as they slowly crept up on him.
The person currently on his mind was somewhere in the dorm, probably in the kitchen eating. Him and his sweets. Light smiled at the though of the odd man. So, he had determined that he was both attracted to Ryuuzaki and had feelings for him. That was a definite. What was not a definite was whether or not he would act on said feelings. He could probably kiss Ryuuzaki and tell him that friends did that, but that wouldn't be right. Plus, he couldn't do anything more than that. Being socially awkward didn't mean that Ryuuzaki wouldn't realize that anything more sexual than a kiss was not something that people who were just friends did. Light was also afraid that acting on his attraction would make Ryuuzaki extremely uncomfortable, and maybe even drive him away. That thought was one that Light couldn't deal with.
He quickly came to the conclusion that having Ryuuzaki as just a friend was far more preferable than not having him at all. So, he wouldn't act on his feelings. For now.
SSS
L was perched delicately on a chair at the kitchen table, savoring the taste and texture of his cake. It was a double fudge cake that Light had picked up for him the day before he had been struck with the baseball. L was very much enjoying it. In the other room, he was fully aware that Light was thinking. The sound of book pages being turned had halted, and Light was prone to drifting into thought for hours on end. L wondered idly what had the other genius buried so deeply inside his own mind.
L was a little worried about their friendship, truth be told, especially after last night. When L had walked out of the shower, Light had gotten and odd look on his face, one that L had never seen him make before. Close of the heels of that look had been a look that was obviously one of 'oh shit!' Light had flipped away from him, and had stayed that way for quite some time. Finally, when whatever had been bothering him subsided, he had flipped back around, but had not been forthcoming with conversation.
L was worried that he had done something to upset Light. He didn't want to ruin their friendship by accidentally angering Light. In the other room, the silence was starting to make him anxious. "Is Raito-kun ok?"
"I'm fine, Ryuuzaki," came Light's quick reply. L stood and strode into the bedroom, looking down at Light. Light's gaze flicked up to meet his.
"Have I done something to anger Raito-kun? He has been very distant this morning and I do not enjoy the prospect that he may be upset with me." Light blinked in surprise.
"I'm not upset with you, Ryuuzaki. I just...I realized something, and I'm spending a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to do about it."
L nodded, slightly soothed, and, picking up his laptop, slid onto the bed next to Light. He made a small noise of surprise when Light leaned over and laid his head on L's shoulder.
"I'm tired, Ryuuzaki. You don't mind if I put my head here, do you?" L shook his head. He found it was rather the opposite. He was enjoying the innocent contact. If Light was tired and wanted to lay his head there, he was more that welcome to.
SSS
So much for not acting on his feelings. When Ryuuzaki had sat on the bed next to him, Light had found it impossible not to lay his head on Ryuuzaki's shoulder. He had been worried that Ryuuzaki's reaction would be less that positive, but that didn't seem to be the case. Actually, he seemed to welcome the gentle contact.
From this position, with his head on Ryuuzaki's shoulder, he realized he could easily peek at what Ryuuzaki was always doing on his laptop. However, Ryuuzaki must have been fully aware of that fact as well, which meant that Light had his full trust. He wasn't about to disregard it.
It was nice, sitting here like this, together, but boredom was slowly setting in. Light had been cooped up in the dorm all day, and he still had one more full day to go after this one. If he was to be stuck in the dorm like this all day today and tomorrow, he wanted something to read.
"Hey, Ryuuzaki, would you mind going to the library? I'd really like to get something to read, because I'm going to be stuck in here for a while."
"Of course, Raito-kun. Can you walk on your own?" It seemed that Ryuuzaki realized just how intense boredom could be for Light when he had nothing to do, being as how he was a genius too. After a quick test in the dorm, it was determined that yes, Light could walk on his own. They left the dorm and headed towards the library, studiously avoiding passing by the ballfields.
Light was taken aback by the sheer size of this building. It was immense. He had been in here before, of course, but the fact that so much knowledge was in this place struck him every time he entered it. Him and Ryuuzaki parted ways at the entrance. Light made his way down the winding corridors that housed shelves brimmed with books. He could see why Ryuuzaki loved this place so much.
Whenever Light saw a book that interested him, he simply pulled it off the shelf and read it. He passed what must have been three hours in this way. Finally, he collected a stack of books he wanted to take with him, and checked them out quickly. That task done, he set off to find Ryuuzaki. He had a feeling he knew just where he'd be.
He made his way to the second floor and over to the balcony where he had first met Ryuuzaki. It was just like deja vu. There he was, perched oddly in his chair, typing rapidly in his laptop. This time, Light hoped he wouldn't have to make a mad dash over and duck under the table. Suddenly the image of himself under the table, Ryuuzaki with his legs parted while Light played with a certain part of his anatomy, flashed across his mind. Bad Light! No naughty thoughts in the library.
Light smirked and slowly crept up to the table. He lunged forward with no warning, grabbing Ryuuzaki around the table. He yelped in surprise and whirled around. Ryuuzaki shot Light an exasperated look. "Must you amuse yourself by startling me, Raito-kun?"
Light grinned. "I thought it would be fun, and it was. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm ready to leave when you are, Ryuuzaki." Ryuuzaki nodded, then returned to typing. Light settled into the chair across from him and grabbed one of his books from the stack he had collected to read.
SSS
L was content. It was nice, to sit like this with Light with no conversation needed. The two geniuses were happy to just be in one another's presence. That was enough. L never felt the urge to hide who he was around Light. He could expose all his unusual quirks and his social awkwardness and not feel the threat of being ridiculed. Just for that, he was grateful to his friend.
But friendship was not all he was sure he was feeling for Light. He decided it was time to turn to the one thing that had always aided him in these types of situations: research. He saved and exited his book, pulling up a web browser and entering his search key. He clicked on the first link he saw, and his face flushed a light pink. Interesting, the way two men had intercourse. That was not what he had been looking for. Still, looking at this, he realized that he wanted to do these things with Light. Very much so. Now he was certain he was feeling more that just friendship for Light. Friends did not do those types of things with each other.
Lovers did. Did that then mean that he wanted Light to be his lover? Did he...love Light? It was possible. Actually, there was a ninety-six percent chance that he did indeed love Light. Those odds were stacked highly in one direction. The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Finally, he posed the question to himself, very un-clinically and on a very person level. Did he love Light?
Yes. He did. He loved Light. The feeling was...spectacular. Secure in the knowledge that he loved Light, he delved into research about what two men could do together. He wasn't sure that Light would ever permit such activities, but, in case Light did one day give his consent, L wanted to be fully prepared. He concluded that it would be in his best interest to get a bottle of lubricant stashed in the dorm (somewhere Light wouldn't look, of course) as quickly as possible.
SSS
"Raito-kun, there are many teachers and staff in the library who could assist you if trouble arose due to your concussion, and I have urgent business to attend to. Would it be already if I departed momentarily?" Light looked up from his book at the sound of Ryuuzaki's voice.
"Of course, Ryuuzaki, do what you need to do." Ryuuzaki nodded and, snatching up his laptop, hurried away. Light wondered what he had to do. It must be important to make him take off like that. Of course, now that he wasn't around, it gave Light some time to reconsider his earlier decision.
Obviously just suppressing his urges wasn't going to work. Still, he could not just force himself on Ryuuzaki. That would risk driving him away. That was a risk Light was not willing to take. He needed Ryuuzaki around, he was quickly realizing. His life had been so boring before they met. All classes and work and mechanical actions. With Ryuuzaki, he had to think and exercise his brain constantly, a feeling that he liked. He had someone to have verbal sparring matches with who wasn't as easy to bowl over as a piece of paper.
So that left only one option: he had to take an approach that was in-between. While he couldn't force himself directly on Ryuuzaki, he could surely hint at it and slowly test the waters. Perhaps he'd even let Ryuuzaki make the first move. He wasn't sure that that would actually happen, but if it did, it would take all the guess-work out of it. If Ryuuzaki initiated it, obviously he would have to want it too.
Satisfied with having finally worked out what he would do about the situation, he stretched and tucked his books under his arm. Time to head back to the dorm.
SSS
L was in a panicked flurry. He had made a trip to the nearest drugstore and had purchased a bottle of lubricant, but now he had no idea where to put it. He didn't dare put it in any of the dresser drawers, as they were accessed far too frequently. He briefly considered putting it in the cabinets in the kitchen that contained all his sweets, but dismissed that idea as well. Light got in there to restock for L, and L was sure he'd find it eventually. Suddenly, and idea occurred to him. A smile broke out over his face. It was so cliché, and because it was so cliché, Light would never look there. L quickly stashed the lube...under the mattress of Light's bed. Happy with the hiding place, he decided it was time to retrieve Light.
Walking down the path to the library, he ran over the emotion of love in his mind. It was an odd thing. It was pure and sweet, and was the most amazing thing he had ever felt. It led to happiness, and to desire. But it also led to negative emotions, did it not? Jealously and possessiveness. Extreme sorrow and pain if the loved one was lost. But the good seemed to overpower the bad. L was genuinely happy that he loved Light.
He was rather surprised when he ran into Light on the path. "Raito-kun should not have left the library alone," he chastised gently. "He could have had something bad happen to him related to the concussion, and no one would have been around to help. He should have waited for me to return, or contacted Chiyo to escort him home. Or even Misa would be preferable to him walking alone."
"Ugh, no she wouldn't, Ryuuzaki. Besides, look, there are students everywhere who could have helped had something happened. You left me in the library."
"I left Raito-kun in the library with staff. I do not trust the students to take care of him." L was adamant about this point. He realized it was probably the intensity of his feelings for Light that made him feel this way, but he didn't care.
"Ok Ryuuzaki, next time I'll contact Chiyo. Feel better?"
"Much," L answered honestly. Light looked at him curiously. Obviously L's last answer had caught his attention. L hoped he wasn't giving himself away.
"Now that I've met your demands, can we go home, Ryuuzaki? I'm finding that the trip to the library tired me out."
"Of course, Raito-kun."
SSS
Light took his time after his shower to get all dried off and dressed in the bathroom because, unlike some people, he did not walk out of the bathroom all wet and arousing after a shower. When he was completely ready for bed, he left the bathroom and entered his bedroom. There, he found Ryuuzaki in his bed. That was helping his attraction issue. Nothing better to switch the hormones off like walking into your room and finding the person you most want in your bed.
Sighing, Light slipped under the covers and tried to sleep, but failed. Just as the last time Ryuuzaki was in his bed, he found he couldn't sleep. The raven's even breathing gave away the fact that he had found the sleep that so eluded him. Just when he resigned himself to a sleepless night, he felt the heat from Ryuuzaki seep into his back. He made a small sound of surprise and Ryuuzaki snuggled up to him.
In his sleep, Ryuuzaki had moved over to Light's side of the bed and was currently wrapping himself around Light. Soon, Light found that his eyes were flickering shut. He gave in to sleep's spell with Ryuuzaki curled protectively around him.
Ok, so they realize they love each other! Yay! So, time for a vote: should the next chapter be the first chapter that contains a lemon? I can either do:
a.) A chapter that covers the last day that Light needs to be escorted around by people. He and L will continue to battle with their feelings, but there won't be a lemon
b.) Lemon chapter! I will attempt, emphasis on attempt as it will be the first time I've ever done it, to write a lemon.
Ok, vote! However the vote turns out, I'll start the chapter tomorrow.