She was staring at the ceiling. Her bed had suddenly begun to feel too big for her. She felt both happy and melancholic. An hour ago Jim had kissed her good night, lingering -unwilling to let her go. He had given her a short speech on how everything would be okay. "No need to worry Beesly". His voice had helped reassure her. She admired his ability to be so positive all the time. She admired his ability to trust so blindly in the universe, to trust in them. It made it easier for her to trust it too.

She lost faith sometimes. During the last six months she had lost faith several times, thinking Jim was happy in his new relationship. She thought about how unbelievably happy she was that they were together at last, how it elevated her into a realm of existence she had never known before. She knew Jim was right. Being together felt right, the pure happiness should be proof enough. She trusted that happiness, she did, but there were undercurrents of something darker, more difficult. It was threatening to drag her down from the sky she was floating on. She hit the switch on her night lamp and patted her pillow, making it as comfortable as possible. She needed a quiet night of rest. Gradually her thoughts intermixed with sleep.

She dreamt of light kisses, of tender caresses, his eyes on her. It felt right. It felt safe. It felt like there was a meaning to the universe, that them being together was part of a grander plan. She felt at peace, like she fitted into the world in a new way. She felt his hand on her back and everything that was painful simply melted away. Ever so slowly she could feel the pressure of his hand fading…

She was alone again. His kisses, his hands, his eyes, they were all gone. In the faraway distance something caught her eye. It was the contour of a woman; a woman in a summer dress, with dark long hair. She was heading for her. She couldn't see a face but she sensed who it was. She felt the burn of hot coal under her feet. She looked around but she couldn't see a fire or glowing coal. She noticed she was on a beach. The woman was coming toward her, kicking up swirls of sand as she came running closer and closer. Her dark complexion was glowing in the sun. The ray of sun made her hair blend with the sparkling surface of the lake. As she came closer she could see Karen's beautiful features. A mere five feet away she lifted from the sand and almost danced around Pam in a circle. She was smiling, no - she was grinning. She lifted a finger and pointed to Pam before letting out a small snort and a sarcastic uttering.

- Don't you know it's all a dream Pam?

- What do you mean?

- It's a fantasy Pam. You're living in a fantasy.

- Leave me alone.

Karen didn't respond, she just kept dancing around her, a smug grin on her face. Pam tried to walk away, but Karen followed her, hovering just inches in front of her. She tried to push her away, but her hands went straight through her. Karen kept dancing, kept grinning. Pam started to run, and for a moment she thought she had outrun her. She turned around only to find Karen standing by the water side just ten feet away. Her grin was gone. It was replaced by a sympathetic look. She shook her head.

- Don't you know Pam? He'll never trust you. You broke his heart. You can't get through to it. I know. I tried.

- We belong together.

- Keep thinking that. You'll see. You'll see soon enough.

- You don't know what you're talking about. Leave me alone.

- You're living in a fantasy Pam.

With that Karen's image disappeared into the water. An egg was washing in from the spot where she vanished.

Pam woke. Her blanket was kicked off. Her breathing was heavy and she could feel her hammering heart. It was still dark. She lifted her clock-radio. It was 1.30. She shook her head, trying to get rid of Karen's voice. She had never dreamt of her like that. Pam wasn't much of a dreamer and it was surprising how real this dream had felt. She stood up and walked to the kitchen. A warm cup of tea her only remedy for nightmares. As she waited for the water to boil she caught a glimpse of herself in the window. Her curls unruly, her eyes tired. She felt ridicules for feeling so shaken up by a stupid dream.

She sat by the kitchen table, sipping her drink slowly, while trying not to think of it. Half way through her cup she got an idea. She rose quickly and walked over to her fridge. Cheese, ham, tomatoes, lettuce, butter, strawberry jam, cucumbers, baby-carrots, four mixed berry yoghurts and a bottle of orange juice. It wasn't much but it was a start. She started raiding her kitchen for food-containers; she knew her mother had left a bunch of Tupperware boxes when she first moved in. Where did she put them?

A few minutes later she found them at the bottom of a large drawer, a drawer she realised she had never opened since moving in. She put the cheese and ham in one, tomatoes, lettuce and cucumbers in another one, the carrots she arranged neatly in the tiniest box. She decided to leave the orange juice and the jam, before she placed a big chunk of butter in a small cup with a lid on. She found a box of salty biscuits in one of her cabinets and left it on the counter. After she was done she placed all the boxes back in the fridge, and made a mental note of the things she would have to stop by the market to buy. She went to bed and fell into a dreamless sleep almost immediately.

The next morning at the office she could barely wait for Jim to turn his computer on. He had given her a huge smile as he walked in, touching her fingers briefly as he stroked his hand across her desk.

Pam: You're not doing anything later are you?

Jim: Well that depends….

Pam: Elaborate please.

Jim: Well….I don't have any plans per se, but that might change.

Pam: Well…here's a plan. You spend the evening with me.

Jim: Okay, sounds good. What do you want to do?

Pam: That's for me to know and for you to find out.

Jim: Ahh…..getting a little dose of my own medicine. I'm intrigued.

Pam: Hehe…..well, good.

Jim: That's all you're gonna give me huh?

Pam: Yup.

Jim: Okay.

Pam: Speak to you later.

Jim: Yeah.

Eight hours later, after relentless efforts by Jim to disclose her plans and a crisis involving Stanley's crossword puzzle and Andy's coffee, the day was coming to an end. It had been a slow day, several of her co-workers spent more time arranging vacation plans than selling paper. Phyllis had wanted to know if Pam had been to Europe, because Bob Vance had talked about taking her there this summer, and she just couldn't decided if she wanted to go to London or Paris, Rome or Athens, or Barcelona or Copenhagen. Pam felt a hint of envy at the prospect of visiting any of those cities. She had dreamt of going to Paris and Rome since her first art class in high school. Nine years with Roy had ruined any fantasy of ever going. She looked up at Jim and wondered if they would ever go, and she decided then and there that they would. Somehow they would go.

Pam: I'm heading out now. Meet me at my place at six okay?

Jim: Absolutely, can't wait. Should I bring anything?

Pam: Nah….you don't have to. But it's warm, so a pair of shorts wouldn't hurt.

Jim: A pair of shorts? Really?

Pam: Yeah. Really.

Jim: Ok.

Pam: See you later then. Bye Jim.

Jim: Bye Pam.

When he showed up at exactly six o'clock she was breaking a sweat from running around trying to get everything ready. She'd stopped by the store and picked up a grilled chicken, French bread, more cheese, grapes and strawberries, a few cans of coke and a bottle of white vine. Arranging it all into neat containers she had crammed it into a basket her mother had left. She was fetching two bath towels from the closet when the door bell rang. Together with a blanket and a couple of candles she stuffed the towels into a bag and carried it into the hallway. When she had to catch her breath after opening the door she wasn't sure if it was from the excessive running or from the sight of him. A familiar feeling stirred in her stomach.

- Hey there Beesly. Training for a marathon?

- Hehe…shut it. I've actually been running around trying to get everything ready.

- Ahh….is that so.

Jim popped his head around her and curiously glanced into her apartment. Pam couldn't help but laugh.

- Hey there mister, not so nosy.

- Hehe…what do you expect?

- I expect the same kind of patience I showed yesterday.

- Oh….that was patience?

He looked at her and tilted his head as to consider that possibility. His face was dead serious, but his eyes gave him away, they were full of laughter. She loved how his eyes gave him away. She nudged him and said.

- Yeah.

She had wanted to say something else, but she knew she was about to be betrayed by the bubbles of laughter that emerged somewhere deep in her own throat.

- So Miss Patience, want to clue me in on where we are going?

- Hehe….nah, not yet. But you can carry this to my car.

She handed him the bag, and turned around to lift the basket of food. He looked at the bag and then at her basket, which was covered with a cloth, and gave her a smile.

- This looks promising Pam.

- Hehe….you have no idea. Let's go. We don't want to miss the sunset.

He turned around and walked down the two levels of stairs before he stopped and waited for her.

- Are you sure I can't help you with that.

He mimicked toward the basket in her hand.

- No thank you. Just concentrate on the bag. I'll be just fine.

- Okay. You're the boss.

The basket was a bit heavier than she thought and she struggled not to let him see that. When she walked to her own car he raised his eyebrows and asked.

- You're driving?

- Of course. You don't know where we're going.

- You could tell me.

- Nah…it's my turn anyway.

- Your turn?

- Yeah Jim. My car's been feeling a little neglected lately. Asks me if I prefer your car to him.

- Really? Well we can't have your car thinking you don't care. It's actually nicer than mine.

Their playful tone continued as they put their stuff and themselves into her car.

- No wonder you prefer my car Pam. This car is too small.

Pam burst out laughing looking at Jim trying to manoeuvre his long limbs into her passenger seat.

- Hehehe….there's an adjuster under the seat, you can push it back.

Watching Jim trying to entangle his long legs long enough to get hold of the adjuster struck her as greatly comical. He seemed like a fish on land.

- Hehe….do you need some help?

He waved his hand at her.

- No, no….I got it.

He moved his legs so that they brushed against her hand on the gear stick and her laughter silently died. He was wearing dark green shorts in a heavy material, it covered most of his thighs, but his knees and ankles were bare. She realised she hadn't seen him like this since the basketball game and she swallowed quickly. He had strong legs, undoubtedly acquired through years of basketball training, and she couldn't help but look at them. She felt a surge go through her stomach and she was reminded of the other night and the memory made her cheeks go pink.

- There. Now I think we're okay to go.

- Ehhh….okay. Yeah, let's go.

He looked at her quizzically. He hadn't noticed her sudden change and asked.

- What?

- What what?

- You sounded funny.

- Oh… it's nothing.

- Okay then…where are we going?

- You'll just have to wait and see.

- Hehe….fine.

She put her car in reverse and left her apartment building. She could notice Jim growing more and more curious as they left the city behind. He looked at her with raised eyebrows a few times but she just brushed him off with a knowing smile, much like he had done the evening before. When she finally turned off the road and into the bumpy gravel road that led to Scranton lake a smile erupted at the corner of his mouth.

- Wow. We're going to the beach? Are you planning on doing any swimming?

His tone was surprised and excited. He looked over at her as she parked the car in the shadow of a three.

- I might.

- First a coal walk and then swimming in a freezing cold lake. I'm sensing a pattern here. I'm beginning to suspect that you're a masochist.

- Hehe…stuff it. I won't go in if it's too cold. But I bet it won't be. I saw people bathing the last time we were here.

- Okay, okay….just don't expect me to join you. I'm fairly certain it's too cold.

- Hehe….you're such a wimp.

- Hey…I'm not a wimp; I just prefer to swim when the water is closer to my body temperature.

- Fine. You don't have to go in. Could you grab that blanket and the bag from the back seat?

- Will do.

She locked her car and made her way, basket in hand, over a small opening in the tall yellow weed. Jim was following her closely. There were few people there and most of them sat by the opening next to the car parking.

- Wow, it's nice out here. Quiet and nice.

Jim seemed to say it more to himself than to her, but she turned around and gave him a smile.

- Are we going much further? Are you sure I can't help you with that basket?

- Nah…not that much further, just a little bit, and thanks but I'm fine.

They walked in silence a few minutes before Pam recognized an opening in the tall grass around them. This was it. Behind a bunch of small pine trees she found the little opening next to the water that she had stumbled across the last time they were here. After the hot-dog contest she had taken the opportunity to sneak away for half an hour as Michael arranged for the coal-walk. She had walked aimlessly down the lake, just wanting to get away from it all. The memory made her stomach turn into a knot.

- Wow, this is…WOW.

Jim looked at her and nodded approvingly.

- Yeah. It's nice isn't it?

- I'll say.

It was an opening that stretched only 45-50 feet or so along the lake, but the bank was filled with soft sand and the trees behind them offered a sense of privacy. The ground was a mix of sand and grass and she took the blanket and laid it out. As she pulled snack after snack up from her basket Jim nodded favourably and tried to arrange it as practically as possible on the large blanket.

- This is great Pam. What a brilliant idea. I can't remember the last time I went on a real picnic.

- Thanks. I just hope I've brought enough.

- Don't worry about that. Looks like this could hold us for a couple of days.

- You're obviously not as hungry as me.

She smiled and handed him a glass and a plastic plate. His smile threatened to go around his head as he opened the bottle of vine and filled their glasses. As she took a sip of the vine she looked at him and caught an almost ridiculously happy expression on his face.

- What?

He just continued smiling while slowly shaking his head.

- I'm sorry….it's just. Okay, don't get freaked out or anything…but ehh….before, you know, before I left and all…I would have this fantasy of doing this.

- You fantasised about going on a picnic?

- Yeah…is that weird?

-Yeah. What's wrong with you?

For a second his smile disappeared and she felt guilty for making a joke, but then he caught the glimmer in her eye and he grabbed hold of her and wrestled her down on her back.

- You're mean. Say you're sorry.

- Hehehehe….get off of me. Your crazy…..and weird.

He let out a laugh and pinned her arms down by her side. He leaned in a little closer, his whole upper frame towering somewhere not far above hers. She caught his eyes and their laughter subsided. He didn't move, didn't even seem to breathe. He waited, waited for a signal from her, a signal that would give him the courage to close the gap between their lips. She lifted her head a little and felt his lips enclose hers. She could feel one of his hands in one of hers. He pulled her up to him. His hands found her face, her hair. Her hands found his. Her head was spinning and it definitely wasn't from the wine. They got lost in each other, forgetting where they were and their picnic. She had kissed three guys in her life, but nothing had ever felt like this. It wasn't perfect. Their teeth sometimes clashed, their noses got in the way, but none of it mattered. She wasn't embarrassed or shy or uncomfortable, she was just there meeting him, meeting her. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her desire burning in every part of her being. She was surprised at her own forwardness as she guided him down on the blanket. As she was about to shift to move even closer to him she knocked over the bottle and vine started pouring over their blanket and them. Pam reluctantly let go of his lips and turned around to discover what the wetness against her back was.

- Damn.

She reached over and grabbed the bottle, saving the last of the vine. She held up the green bottle and turned to Jim who still hadn't quite caught up with the latest event. His breath was heavy and his lips red and parted.

- See what you made me do.

He looked at her, first completely dumbfounded and then amused before he burst out laughing.

- What I made you do? I think that was all you.

- All me you say….

- Well, maybe not all you…but definitely not just me.

She couldn't be serious anymore and joined him laughing. She stood up, trying to avoid getting even more wet.

- Okay mister. We have to clean this up. There's a towel in that bag, can you grab it.

He sighed, sat up and gave her the towel.