There are many things I have come to accept, being a soul in a suit of armor. On the plus side, I don't get tired or need to sleep, making it easier to watch over my implusive Niisan. I can take over doing research when he falls asleep. Traveling costs are cheap since I don't require food, clothes, rest, or health care (although sometimes I wonder if Niisan makes up for the cost I save…). However, those same positive points can also be seen in a negative view. I cannot eat and enjoy a meal with my Niisan. I am unable to relate to his pain when he is injured. My sleepless body has transformed these past five years into one very long, never-ending day. The worst, perhaps, is being forced to wear this expressionless face. To be able to smile when you're happy, or even when you're not, is truly an amazing thing so many people take for granted. Facial expressions are an important part of communication; they express feelings, thoughts and personality. However, to be unable to do something so human, it makes me feel…
...Even though they don't exist, I can understand how the ghosts in books and novels feel about being in the world of the living. It is a sad thing to watch everyone around you enjoy the simple pleasures of being alive and human.
Now don't get me wrong; I am grateful and glad that Niisan loved me so much he sacrificed his arm to bring my soul back. I appreciate the work Niisan puts into my well-being, sometimes to the point of neglecting his needs in order to take care of me, and his efforts to get our bodies back. True, I am human in mind and soul, but the sad truth is that I cannot be honest. To be denied the ability to fell the sun on your face and smile, it takes away the little things that make life worth living. If I were to tell this to Niisan, it would destroy him.
Niisan hates the rain because it reminds him of all of the bad things that happened to us so far, but I love it. When those rain clouds roll over us and release their crystal clear burden, I rejoice. Is there something wrong with me for feeling this way? Perhaps; honestly, I'm surprised that I haven't gone completely insane yet. In fact, the rain has the potential to damage me quite badly. It can cause my body to rust, or worst yet, wash away my blood seal if it gets inside of me. So what joy does the rain bring a suit of armor such as me? It allows me the simple pleasure of crying. The rain allows me to express my sorrow to the outside world. While I cannot feel the raindrops against the armor, I can pretend, if only for a moment, that I have a real body and I can do normal things like crying.
The rain is bittersweet for me; it makes me happy because I can express my sadness. For me, Alphonse Elric, the rain is my tears.
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Kame: ok, sorry if Al seems a bit OOC, but I honestly can't believe that Al is as selfless as he appears. I mean, the armor hides his true feelings really well, and being unable to sleep, he has more than enough time to dwell on it.