DISCLAIMER: I do not own High School Musical or any related characters.
This is an M rated story, please skip if something makes you uncomfortable.
A/N: This took me so long to write! Damn, I knew how I wanted to write this chapter after I finished the last one and then I lost it when my Extension History teacher threw heaps of work at us and then I got it back again and then I couldn't figure out how to start it! Not to mention school is seriously kicking my butt at the moment and I'm having trouble sleeping, which is affecting nearly everything I do. I have never been so grateful for the weekend in my entire life. Even if the only thing I can do is sleep and do homework this weekend I'm grateful its here! Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter. It may be a little different to what you were all expecting but truthfully, I felt it was easier to write it out this way and to get inside Troy's head a little bit more.
I hope you all enjoy it!
Dangerous Fascination
CHAPTER 17
MISCONCEPTIONS
The moment Troy heard the innocent sound of children's laughter, he knew he was awake. He refused to open his eyes, for a few seconds, knowing that when he did he would have to acknowledge that for the first time in a long time he'd made a very rash, very spontaneous decision that didn't sit well with him now that he was thinking straight.
For the first time in, perhaps, ever, Troy didn't want to open his eyes and rationalize what he had done. He didn't want to pretend that this thing with Gabriella hadn't grown as deep as he knew it had. He didn't want to pretend that he hadn't given her a second thought when he'd taken off to Santa Fe three days ago and he really didn't want to pretend that he hadn't spent every waking moment with half his mind on her and half his mind on the projects his Uncle had kept shoving into his hands at every opportune moment. So Troy did the one thing he knew was right.
He opened his eyes.
He wasn't surprised when he found Gabriella's room bathed in moonlight. Nor was he surprised when he lifted himself slightly to see that most people were sitting down to eat dinner right about now.
No, what surprised him was that he'd slept.
Even as he thought it, Troy was lowering himself back down flat as the girl draped across his chest murmured something before trying to snuggle closer. He didn't want her to wake, not now. Not when he himself had just woken up and was too aware that when she woke, they would have to deal with the sudden, sharp turn their relationship had taken.
A sudden, sharp turn, Troy had to admit, that wasn't exactly an unexpected turn of events. They'd both known that this was where they had been heading, perhaps even before he had caught her in the park with Doug. She'd accepted it as gracefully as she'd accepted his jacket three days before and he'd run. Troy hated the fact that he'd run.
He wished he could tell himself that he hadn't run. That he hadn't become overwhelmed by Chad's questions, his father's sympathy and the ice he could normally control. But knew that it was a lie. He'd run. It had been as much of a retreat as it had been to protect everyone from the ice Gabriella had caught a flash of just before he'd left.
But even rationalizing it like that didn't change the fact that he'd run, Troy thought sourly. It didn't change the fact that he'd dumped his ice on someone else. His uncle had always promised that he would try and listen. Try and make things better. His uncle was a safety net that Troy had used time and time again, but this time had been different and Troy knew that his uncle had known it had been different the moment he'd opened up his front door.
Almost, he mused, the way Gabriella had known it was all about to change when she'd seen him leaning against his car.
Troy wasn't going to deny he'd been surprised by the way Gabriella had so easily accepted the fact that he was back. Some part of him had wanted her to dramatize his return. He'd wanted her to jump into his arms so he could take what he had come back for without having to coax her to come out of the shell he'd been sure she'd retreated into after he had left. But she hadn't. Troy wasn't sure why she hadn't and then he'd realized that maybe she understood him better than he thought she did. The thought had both amused and terrified him. The amusement had won though. Troy wasn't going to deny the flash of pleasure he'd felt when she'd turned to lead him into the house and he'd noticed she was wearing his jacket and the amusement he'd felt at her had escalated until all he could do was chuckle.
Gabriella suddenly whimpered slightly, her legs tightening around his as she pushed herself deeper into his side. Troy wasn't surprised at her whimper. He'd figured she'd probably be sore but he was surprised at the way she continued to cling onto him, as if she thought he going to go away again.
It wasn't surprising, Troy thought, as his mind drifted back to the moments before he'd touched her and both had lost all coherent thought.
He was slightly surprised when she didn't fumble as she opened the door. Something had flashed in her eyes moments earlier that had given him the impression that she wasn't quite sure how to handle him suddenly arriving, that she was nervous about the fact that he was back. Troy found that he liked that she was nervous. It made him feel less on edge. Less like he'd walked back into something that was different than what he'd left.
He'd convinced himself that she was different than what he had spent month fascinated by. Sometime between rubbing grease on his cheek as he pulled apart a car engine and sitting on the back porch of his uncles house, his two year old cousin in his lap, Troy had managed to push away the Gabriella he knew he'd left behind and replace her with a Gabriella he told himself he didn't find interesting at all. A Gabriella who wouldn't wear his jacket just to smell him, as he'd suspected she'd been doing in the time he'd been gone, a Gabriella who didn't light up when she saw him or get nervous when he was near.
He'd made up a damn Gabriella that reminded him of everything he wasn't interested in and she'd blown it to pieces by simply being nervous.
"Where'd you go?" Her quiet voice broke through his thoughts as they stepped into the house and Gabriella took a step toward what Troy knew was the kitchen. It was a neutral place he knew she figured he wouldn't be able to press her. He'd respect for now, but Troy knew she was only using it as a way of giving her a few moments to adjust.
"Santa Fe." He replied dismissively and watched in amusement as her eyebrows rose slightly at his words. It was an appraising look Troy had never really been given before and he found that, in the few seconds when she forgot herself, that it simply made her look cute. Amusement lost out to incredulity as Troy wondered if he really just thought that Gabriella Montez was cute.
"Why Santa Fe?" Amusement returned as Gabriella moved so they island bench was between them. Troy shrugged, folding his arm as he crossed one foot over the other and watched her carefully.
Nerves, he thought, they were there and already breaking down any other misconception he'd made of her while he was away.
"Because it was there." He wasn't ready to tell her he'd been with family, wasn't quite ready for those ebony eyes to darken slightly in mistrust at the thought of Troy Bolton staying with family when he'd stormed out of school, fighting with his ice.
"Ah. Andrew came back to school only today." Troy couldn't stop himself. He rolled his eyes.
"And was Andrew suffering the way he should be?" Sarcasm dripped at his words and Troy watched as Gabriella moved one shoulder carelessly.
"I don't know. He wouldn't talk to me. I even asked how he was." Not that she'd wanted to, Gabriella thought to herself, she'd just felt bad. Troy snorted at her words not surprised that she'd asked and even less surprised that Andrew didn't reply.
"Surprise, surprise. Anything else of insignificance happen while I was gone?" He saw her wince at his words and realized that she had wanted to tell him what else had happened. He felt something that felt like guilt twist suddenly at her wounded expression and opened his mouth to prompt something from her when she suddenly spoke.
"I missed you." Troy froze, something rearing as she blanched slightly before color spread through her cheeks like a fire going downhill.
She'd missed him. Troy found himself staring as that something began to push him to realize that her missing him had meant she'd been thinking about him. Her missing him meant she'd spent time and energy wondering about him. Where he was, what he was doing. Her missing him meant that he hadn't been foolish to spend his time thinking about her between fixing an engine, sitting on a porch and planting misconceptions about her in his mind. Troy discovered, with some uneasiness, that her missing him meant more to him than he'd ever thought it would.
Even now, thinking back on it, Troy couldn't quite comprehend the words that had come out of her mouth. He couldn't force himself to acknowledge what it encompassed and he didn't know whether he would ever adjust to the idea that someone had missed him.
Gabriella shifted again, jerking Troy away from the thoughts that were lingering on what had happened hours before and making him realize he needed to move. He needed to think. He needed to think clearly, in a way he wouldn't when she was snuggled into his side, as if she had always rested her head on the curve of his shoulder.
His movements where smooth as he lifted himself away from her, settling her head on the pillow he had been laying on and tucking a pillow where he'd been laying when she whimpered at the sudden loss of contact. Troy pulled the blankets up, over her, knowing that his body heat had been the main reason she'd been warm. When he was satisfied that she was comfortable and asleep, did he cast his eyes around the room that barely looked lived in.
His eyes latched onto his boxers and jeans and he made for them, being careful to avoid anything that the moonlight didn't highlight. Even as he scooped them up, heading for the door, Troy glanced back to make sure Gabriella was still asleep, still curled around the pillow. He wondered, for a brief moment, what would happen if she woke. Would he go over to her or let her think he was gone? Because he didn't know, Troy chose, for the second time that week, to retreat.
He tried to be quiet as he shut the door to Gabriella's room and headed for what he knew from his previous visit was the bathroom. He didn't know that Gabriella had woken up the minute he'd shifted away from her. He reached the bathroom and slapped on the lights.
For a moment, all he did was stand there, blinking as his eyes adjusted and then he shut the door, locking it in case Gabriella had woken up. Dropping his boxers, Troy turned on the shower, making sure that the water was hot enough to steam the mirrors before he stepped in.
The hot water made him wince at first, as he scalded his shoulders and ran down his back. But slowly, it began to wear at the knot of tension between his shoulders. The knot that had been there all week and had grown over the few hours he'd been with Gabriella. Rolling his shoulders, Troy raised his face to the spray, closing his eyes as it beat down on his face. The scalding water felt good, better than good and as it continued to wear down on him, Troy began to think clearer than he had all week.
There was more to this, more to him and Gabriella, than he thought there was, than he'd wanted there to be. But now, Troy opened his eyes and leaned against the shower wall which felt almost ice cold compared the knives of the scorching water, but now it had all changed because she had missed him. Nobody missed him when he was gone. Troy wasn't fool enough to think that the students missed tiptoeing around him, waiting for a bomb to drop or that the girls who fawned over him missed their chance at fawning. His father never missed him, of that Troy was sure and neither did his friends. It was a fact that Troy had adjusted to over time because nobody missed ice. Nobody missed the cold. It didn't matter what his own feelings were, it didn't matter if he'd missed them because in the greater scheme of things, he didn't seem to have any.
Which was another misconception, Troy realized with a hard jolt. He had feelings. He was human. Human enough to realize that Gabriella was the reason he'd realized his own emotions did matter and resent her for it.
He'd been perfectly happy not feeling anything. Perfectly happy to let people know he was only icy or amused, whenever he chose to be. But Gabriella had awoken something in him that was pushing for something other than ice. Something other than amusement.
Leaning his head back against the wall, Troy closed his eyes and, unbidden, an image Gabriella in the kitchen hours before, rose to his mind.
She was looking at him nervously, as if trying to gauge his reaction to her words while not wanting to look at him at all.
Carefully, Troy took the words and tucked them away in the corner of his mind, his reaction to them going with it even as he knew that what he was about to do next had everything to do with what she had said.
Troy watched Gabriella's eyes widen as he stepped around the island bench, towards her. Troy noted the small step backwards she took and chose to ignore it even as he reached out and grasped the hand that was hanging limply at her side.
"Did you really miss me?" He asked softly, silkily, as he pulled her towards him. Slowly, as if still trying to gauge his reaction, Gabriella nodded haltingly. She had no idea that he hadn't meant to ask it all. He hadn't meant to be desperate to believe that she'd really missed him.
"I – I did." She needed something more than a question from him, Troy saw it, knew how to appease it and, perhaps for the first time, wanted too. When her body brushed his, Troy slid his hand up her arm, tangling it in her hair as his other slid over her hip, settling there. He felt her slide her arms around his waist and held the position.
"Do you know what I did the entire time I was away?" He didn't know or understand whey he was admitting this to her, but Troy couldn't stop himself as Gabriella shook her head.
"No." She sounded unsure, but hopeful. As if what he was going to tell her mattered more than anything in the world. His mind flashed to Allie once more and then he pushed it aside, he wasn't going to think about that just yet. He wanted Gabriella before he confronted the sticky emotions waiting for him just beyond what was happening between them.
Troy lowered his mouth until it was a whisper from her, holding her eyes as she watched him warily. "I thought of you." Her eyes widened even as Troy pressed his mouth to hers.
Troy waited, watching as Gabriella's eyes stayed on his for a moment, telling him that what he'd said meant everything. That he meant everything. Then her eyes were drifting close, her hands were fisting in his shirt and she was kissing back.
It was so easy to sink into her, even as he drew out the kiss, Troy knew that he'd never felt like this before. He'd never felt a struggling need to be needed. He'd never cared that someone had missed him and he sure as hell had never cared that someone had cared about who he missed as well.
Gabriella pulled away for a moment, her eyes flickering with indecisions before Troy kissed her again. His lips slid over hers and Troy knew that it was all about to change into something he wasn't sure of. For a moment, just a brief second, he wondered if he wanted it too. He wondered if he could do to her what he did to other girls.
Then she looked up at him from beneath her lashes, her eyes colored by shyness and a touch of insecurity. And trust. She trusted him and with that trust, Troy knew, came an inexplicable will to believe in him. It was enough for him to not care about the change.
"I think – should we…" Just a little helplessly, Troy thought with a touch of amusement, she felt just a little helpless and he nodded. She relaxed at his nod and Troy let her take his hand and lead him to the stairs.
Troy followed her up the stairs, noting where he'd slammed her days before and smirking slightly as he watched her cheeks turn pink as she passed the spot as well. He followed her into her bedroom, remembering the way she had moved against him days before as they'd struggled to get into her bedroom.
Then she turned towards him, dropping his hand and biting her lip and his mind went blank as he realized how beautiful she looked. As he realized how much she was about to give up to him even if he didn't want to comprehend what it all was going to mean.
"Gabriella." The tone of his voice was enough for her to shake her head. To deny to what he should have said but couldn't.
"I want too. I want it to be you." She was always going to be much better than him with vocalizing her feelings, Troy realized even as he stepped towards her and she lifted her arms, sliding them around her even as she slid into his.
It was never going to be what he'd thought, but Troy had no idea that it would test his control this much. He had no idea that she would push his control just by lifting her face for a kiss.
Troy fought the thread threatening to snap even as he lowered his mouth to hers, sinking into the kiss, planning to stay there awhile as his hand began to stroke the length of her body firmly. She sighed against his mouth, as he dragged his hand back up her body, lingering over the curve of her breast before resting on her throat.
Then, as he shifted his mouth to just under her chin, Troy slid his hand down and found the full curve of her breast. He heard her breath hitch, watched as her eyes lowered till they were half closed and the first leap of arousal ran through them as he rubbed his thumb over her rock hard nipple.
"Oh Troy…" Her head fell back and Troy took advantage of the exposure to the smooth column of her throat. He slid the hand on her breast down, till he had a handful of her shirt and he pulled it up and over her head, watching her sudden shock at being exposed even as he brought his mouth back to hers.
Troy slid both his hands down her side, smirking into the kiss at her sudden whimper at skin to skin contact and waiting, patiently, till she forgot herself again and he could shed her of the next article of clothing.
It didn't take long. Her arms were locking around him tightly as he slid his hands back up the clasp. Before she could comprehend what he was doing, Troy pulled away and watched as the bra fell away from her.
Troy waited, watching as embarrassment replace astonishment and knowing that she'd thought it was going to be fast, hard, the way it had been before. She looked away from him, her cheeks beginning to burn at being exposed even as he grasped a handful of the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head, letting it drop to the floor between them and waiting for Gabriella to look at him.
When she didn't, he spoke. "Gabriella. Look at me." The demand that he so rarely put away was there and so was something bordering on ice. It was enough for her to turn her head towards him, her cheeks still tinged pink.
Then she seemed to forget herself as she stared at him. Troy waited as she hesitantly reached out, her fingers touching just below his throat before they slid down, tracing, outlining before they strayed to his side.
"Who's Allie?" Her fingers brushed over his tattoo. A tattoo, Troy knew she hadn't expected to see. He wondered why it felt like they were looking at each other for the first time. She traced the cursive letters, scraping her nails along his skin before skimming them to trace the date below the name.
Troy cursed slightly as he felt her trace the numbers. His dad hadn't been lying. It was soon.
Troy found he didn't want to reply. So, he lifted his hand, slid it beneath the curtain of hair until it rested against the back of her neck. Her eyes flicked upwards and Troy took her under without a thought.
He knew she felt the sudden change in the kisses. The sudden change in him. But he couldn't help it. He needed to do this without being distracted by the tattoo on his side or the thoughts that were plaguing him. He needed to do this for his own sake and he needed to do it now.
He didn't think as his hands slid and exploited the weaknesses he'd found days earlier. He nearly stopped breathing when she cried out as his mouth traced the curve of her breast. He guided her when her knees hit the edge of the bed, falling with her as her hands fisted in his hair. Lifting his head, Troy caught her mouth again as he began to fight with the button on her pants. He felt he tremble as his slid his hand beneath the material, sliding beneath her panties and nearly groaning when he found her hot and wet.
Gabriella gasped against his mouth as nipped her throat and tugged at her jeans. The clothes fell to the floor as Gabriella arched towards him and Troy slid his hand up her leg.
"Troy…I don't –" Troy watched as something flew through her eyes, nerves maybe or indecision. Then he cupped her and watched as all thought fled.
There was so much, Gabriella couldn't stop herself from responding to him, her body writhed beneath his, her hips rising to his command. There was so much to feel as he pushed her towards the edge of the cliff, watching as she staggered between the need to tumble and the need to fight what was building.
Troy watched as he pushed her over the edge, he reveled in her cry even as he felt himself throb. She closed her eyes as she came back down, panting. Troy watched as sweat rolled down her neck, he leaned down, catching it with his tongue as her eyes flew open as he pushed her towards that cliff again.
Her hips pulsed against him as she moaned. She arched as she sobbed out his name in shock as he felt her come.
He kissed her again as she fumbled with his own jeans. She made a sound, low in her throat that made Troy want to groan. Then she was pulling away from him, watching him for a few moments.
"Protection." She gasped out even as he found the muscle in her neck that made her body jerk when he bit into it, suckled. He wanted to chuckle at the practicality of her mind, then found her couldn't when something guttural escaped her as his hand ghosted down her leg.
He didn't reply to her word. Didn't let her think about it again, though he knew she'd only said it to remind him. Not to ask. Instead, he struggled with his jeans, struggled even as she waited.
Then he was stretching over her, holding himself steady as he settled himself between her legs. She gazed up at him, a new awareness in her eyes as he held himself for a moment, waiting until he saw full acceptance.
As it slowly stole into her eyes, Troy slid into her.
He'd thought it wouldn't change until after. He'd figured it would all be different when they woke up and were faced with the prospect of accepting what had been done. He'd had no idea that it was another misconception.
The moment he slid into her, the moment he heard her gasp of surprise, Troy felt something fight and then break free. He felt the feelings no-one had ever let him have emerged and he dropped headlong into something he wasn't quite sure of as Gabriella raised her lips and kissed him.
Too many misconceptions, Troy thought as he stepped back under the harsh spray. He felt like he'd miscalculated until he was standing in a shower, trying to figure out what he'd dropped into and wondering what he was going to tell Gabriella about the tattoo she'd only discovered hours before.
Absently, Troy raised his hand and rubbed the bold black script, wondering how much of it he could tell her and wondering if Chad was right, it meant something if he didn't know if he wanted her to know or not. He'd never not known and Troy wondered if him not knowing had something to do with the fact that he didn't know what he'd gotten himself into.
He'd spent six years training himself not to feel, training himself to see everything as black or white. He'd learnt the hard way what happened when the gray area became a place that was so blurred, even the black and white were distorted. He'd learnt the hard way what happened when feelings obscured the stark reality of truth.
Troy shook his head hard once as the image of sad blue eyes rose in his mind. He wasn't going to go down that path yet. Not yet. Not until he had any semblance of control over the emotions that had chosen to roam free.
With a flick of his wrist, Troy shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. Reaching over, he grabbed a towel and in smooth strokes, dried himself off. Leaning down, he plucked up his boxers and jeans, pulling them on and only bothering to pull the zipper up on his jeans.
Troy attempted to place the towel back onto the rack, so it would dry and he could pretend he hadn't taken a shower in what he was sure was Gabriella's own bathroom. He frowned when the towel crumbled to the floor, reminding him why he never actually bothered to try something he wasn't good at. With a sigh, he threw it over the shower and let it hang there.
Troy unlocked the door, swinging it open and stopping short when he came face to face with Gabriella.
He watched as her eyes widened and then she looked down, another blush spreading across her cheeks as Troy forced himself to not rub the back of his neck.
"I – I thought you'd left." Troy controlled the quick flash of anger he felt. Not because she wouldn't look at him which is what he initially thought, but because she'd woken up alone and assumed that he would leave. He hadn't been lying when he'd said that there were some things they needed to clear up and Troy had hoped that she'd have enough faith in him to believe that he wouldn't just leave.
Folding his arms across his chest, he shook his head. "Apparently I didn't." He watched as she winced slightly as the ice in his tone sliced through her.
"Oh. Um, did you find a clean towel?" Troy told himself he wasn't amused at the way she looked behind him into the bathroom, searching for any mess he might have seen.
He waited for a moment, simply looking at her as her eyes continued to flicker over the bathroom. She'd pulled on a robe that seemed to big for her, the shoulder of it was slipping down her arm even as she pulled it up again.
"I dunno. I just used the one that was hanging up. Are you hungry?" Troy told himself that the reason he wanted to slip his arms around her and lower his lips to the smooth skin of her shoulder was because his control had begun to snap as he stood in front of her. His ice had begun to slip. It had nothing to do with the headlong fall he'd taken when he'd slid inside her hours before.
Gabriella's eyes finally flicked to his, looking startled. "What?" She blushed as soon as she'd blurted it out and Troy found himself getting annoyed with the color that seemed to spread across her cheeks every time he asked a question. He reveled in an emotion he knew.
"Are you hungry? It's a simple yes or no answer." Impatience colored his tone as he waited for her to comprehend what he was asking and wished to God that the robe stopped sliding down her shoulder.
"Uh. I guess so." She looked slightly stunned and Troy forced himself to not roll his eyes as he brushed past her. The need to get out of the house shocking him slightly even as it rose swiftly.
He didn't need to turn around to know that she'd followed him back into her bedroom. Snatching up his shirt, Troy pulled it over his head as he cast his gaze around for his car keys. Catching sight of them just near her bed, Troy bent down, briefly wondered how they had fallen out of his pocket before turning back to face her.
"I'm going to get take-out. Is there anything you want specifically or are you good with whatever I bring back?" Troy asked coolly and Gabriella yanked the shoulder of her robe up again before shaking her head.
"I'm good with anything." Troy nodded, heading out of her room and for the stairs. He felt Gabriella hesitate just behind him before he knew she'd followed him.
As he dropped down two of the steps, Troy wondered if she was going to say anything before he left and then realized with a twist of amusement that maybe she wasn't that brave. He had no doubt she hadn't expected him to be in the shower when she'd woken up and he figured he'd thrown her off when he was. She was probably still trying to adjust to the fact that he was still there.
"Troy?" He stopped with one foot on the third step down. She was going to speak and Troy wondered why he felt so shocked.
"Yes?" He replied, trying not to sound too testy and wondering why she didn't shrink away at his tone as she might have done a few minutes ago.
"You're really coming back?" There was something in the way she said it that made Troy soften. Something about the hopeful disbelief in her voice that gave Troy the impression that she hadn't expected him to even consider it. For a moment, Troy considered telling her he wasn't. That he was just going home and hoping that she would pick up on the sarcasm. As he looked at her, Troy doubted that she would pick up on even the most obvious sarcasm and allowed himself to nod slowly.
"Yep. I think there are a few things we need to talk about." He said, like Allie, he thought to himself and knew that she was thinking the same thing.
"Okay. See you when you get back." She was backing away from the steps as she said it and Troy watched her for a moment before he turned and ran down the stairs.
As soon as he felt the cool night air rushed over him, Troy knew that he'd been full of misconceptions. Misconceptions that Gabriella had single handedly destroyed in the few hours he'd been back in Albuquerque.
Sighing, Troy unlocked his car and slid in. There was so many misconceptions that he needed to sort through them. The problem was now that he knew they existed, now that he was aware that there was so many of them, he didn't know if he could sift through them alone. He didn't know if he could do it with or without her.
A/N: That has to be the most awkward scene I have every attempted to write. The one in the second flashback if you're wondering. Its so much easier writing from a girls point of view and honestly, this Troy gives me a headache from time to time. Not because he's oblivious or anything but because there's so much going on with him that its hard to remember he only shows, like, two emotions. I'm sorry if that scene wasn't up to par but hey, I tried didn't I? I hope you liked the chapter, I did, except for the awkwardness of trying to write from Troy's point of view in that scene. I really do hope you enjoyed at there are now questions swirling around your mind about Allie! I feel mean saying that.