Chapter 35

I don't really know what's going on inside Kagome's head. She's most definitely the most confusing girl I have ever met. After she hugged me that one day, things between us just stopped. We stopped talking, stopped noticing eachother. Everything was just put to a halt. That doesn't mean I don't love her anymore, because I sure as hell do. It's just hard to see her everyday and try to convince her to love me back when she's obviously happy with Hojo. It hurts a lot to know that no matter how hard I try, she won't return the feeling. I haven't necessarily given up…I've just stopped trying. There is a difference, I just can't tell you what it is.

I noticed that no matter how hard I try to go back to the old me, I just can't. When there's a party going on, I'm in the garage working on a car instead of dancing and drinking with my friends. When girls are literally throwing themselves on me, I politely turn them down instead of jumping on them right there. And instead of wanting to be the center of everything, I just want to be left alone. I didn't think popularity would ever turn on me, but it really has. When I see those kids that everyone makes fun of, the ones that read all by themselves at lunchtime or do extra work instead of being with friends, I don't mock them anymore. I just desire to be one of them. To be invisible. I might as well be since the one person that I want to notice me doesn't.

"So what do you think?"

I snapped out of my daze, coming back to reality. Miroku, Hachi, Rae, Itsuki, Masaru, and Sango were all staring at me expectedly.

"Um, what are we talking about?"

I mumbled, making all of them roll their eyes.

"We're talking about your birthday bash man! You said we could all plan it a few days ago."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"We talked about it a few days ago?"

Concern was written across Sango's face as she placed her hand on my forehead.

"You okay Yasha?"

"Yeah, I'm great. So what about the party?"

I changed the topic back to my birthday, which seemed to be all right with them, since they all brightened up and began jabbering away.

"It's next weekend man! We have so much planning to do."

And they continued planning it. And I continued to think about Kagome, pretending I was listening.

The rest of that week and the following one, random people kept telling me they couldn't wait for my party. Apparently everyone that was somewhat popular from the twelfth and eleventh grade was going to be there. And of course a bunch of sophomores and freshmen would try to get in, but Masaru told me he had bouncers hired to prevent crashers. I honestly don't know what's going on for my own birthday party. All I know is that it's on Saturday night, I'm supposed to be at the Goshinki Mansion at 7pm, and that I'm turning 18. That's basically it. Everyone else seems to know about it. I wonder how many people will go…well, no. That's not what I'm really wondering. What I want to know is if Kagome is going to be going. She told me that she doesn't like parties, but only went to get away from Kouga. There is no Kouga problem now so she probably won't go. Too bad. Because she's all I want for my present.

I spent those days in a daze, not really listening to anything or anyone. It passed the time because before I knew it, it was Saturday night. Party night. Miroku and I were getting ready, him chatting away about how cute Sango was going to look.

"Woah man."

Miroku said, halting to a stop when he came out of his room and saw me waiting for him.

"Is that what you're wearing?"

I glanced down at my outfit: faded jeans and a white t-shirt. Then I looked at Miroku's outfit. He had on some fitted jeans, a button down shirt, and an unbuttoned black blazer.

"Uh…did I miss something?"

I asked, looking down at my own clothes again.

"Dude, the party's semi-formal. We told you that!"

"Oh…I guess I just forgot or something…"

Miroku came and sat next to me on the couch.

"Listen man, something's going on with you."

No fucking way. I haven't noticed.

"What are you talking about?"

I asked him, playing up the clueless act.

"You have been out of it for a long time. I can talk straight to your face and you won't register it. It's like you're on pilot mode."

"Huh. That's strange."

"The really strange part is that this all started happen about a month ago, which just happens to be the exact time you and Kagome stopped hanging out."

I perked up at the sound of her name and turned my full attention to Miroku. He gave me a pained look.

"Jesus InuYasha. You really loved her didn't you?"

His voice was soft and caring, and he was obviously not teasing me. I guess there's not point in hiding it now. I sighed and glanced down.

"Yeah…I really did love her."

"Do you still?"

The answer was simple.

"Yes. Oh hell yes."

My eyes met his.

"She's all I want."

It was quiet between us for a bit, until Miroku stood up, fully energized.

"Then that's that!"

"What's what?"

I'm confused.

"Go get dressed InuYasha. Get fully decked out. Look good, smell good. Got it?"

"Miroku, what are you thinking up?"

I asked cautiously as I stood up.

"You are obviously completely taken by Kagome, so we're going to make her feel the same about you."

"How are we going to do this?"

"You're going to stop moping around and show her that you still care and that she means the world to you. But no more dazed and bummed out InuYasha. We need you to be the real you again, except without sleeping with every girl."

That made me crack a smile. I started towards my bedroom slowly.

"You're last plan failed miserably, you do know that."

"Yeah, but this one won't. Besides, what have you got to loose?"

I smiled.

"My pride?"

Miroku returned my smile with a toothy grin.

"Man, you lost that the minute you fell in love."

And that was al I needed to make me want to go to this party.