DISCLAIMER: I do not own High School Musical or any related characters.
A/N: So, some of you were disappointed with Troy in the last chapter, hoping for a break through but it was too easy to give him a break through so soon after Gabriella has stood up to him. It's not how Troy is. He's got to be the one to make the decision away from her, instead of following the norm and having him blurt it out. I knew that when I was writing that chapter, even though I had no idea what I was writing when I wrote last chapter. Anyway, I think this story's going to be wrapped up in the next six chapters. Hopefully anyway. Good news too, I have four days left of school then I'm home free for two weeks, which means I'll hopefully finish this up, make a dent on MTLFM and figure out what to do with SF. Which is a good thing. I'm going to reach a goal where I can manage two stories instead of forty. Anyway, I hope you like the next couple of chapters and rest assured, we'll get into G's mind soon, but for now, we need to see what's going through Troy's head, cause honestly, I love this Troy!
Enjoy!
Dangerous Fascination
CHAPTER 19
TALK
Troy stared up at the ceiling of the Danforth's basement and wished to God he wasn't as emotionally involved in Gabriella as he was.
It hurt. Knowing he had left her sitting there in her kitchen hurt him. It wasn't so much as guilt, as the fact that he knew that he could have fixed that look in her eyes, he could have stayed, he could have…he wasn't sure what he would have done, but damn it, he should have stayed. It was the second time he'd run in the last week and it pissed him off that he'd run because he'd been terrified because of what Taylor might have said to her.
He knew it was stupid. He knew that he shouldn't have been afraid of what Taylor might have said but he couldn't help it. All through the three days he'd been away from her, he'd wondered how he could tell her what happened; who Allie was and he'd wondered how she would react. He'd wondered whether she would have curled her arms around him tentatively and held. He'd enjoyed thinking about that scenario, enjoyed the thought of resting his head on her shoulder as she accepted who and what he was. He hadn't thought about what would have happened if she'd found out form someone else. In the moment he'd walked into the kitchen and seen the look in her eyes as Taylor had asked her if she'd known why he'd left, Troy had seen a different scenario to the one he'd enjoyed at his uncle's.
He'd seen her standing away from him, looking at him with dark, unforgiving eyes as she asked why he hadn't told her, why he hadn't trusted her enough to let her know what he was, what his past was. Who Allie was. It had been enough to make him panic. Make him want to blurt it out before Taylor had.
Because he had, he'd done the only thing to protect himself from doing it. He'd fought with her.
It had been a stupid, uncontrollable urge that his ice hadn't squashed and her own temper had provoked. He'd gone with it. He'd given himself over to his temper, his insecurity at her knowing and the fear of her never speaking to him again if she found out.
He'd never regretted one thing more.
He'd walked out. He'd actually walked out. After he'd told himself he would tell her. Tell her everything so he could clear the air and figure out how to work their feelings into something that…wasn't what it was now. He'd left her sitting on the bench, hanging as she pulled her jacket around herself and asked him not to leave. He'd left anyway. Reeling from what he'd admitted to her and wondering if she would think about what he had said to her in the middle of the kitchen, during their argument.
Fighting a groan, Troy grabbed a pillow and shoved into his face. He'd never been quite so honest in his entire life, never told anyone what he was feeling in the heat of a moment and he wished to God that he hadn't told Gabriella when he was mad and trying to defend himself against her words and the need to tell her what he thought Taylor had known.
He wondered if she could read between his words; see the feelings that he'd been talking about and not the anger that had made him spew them out. Then he found himself wondering when he'd started hoping someone could read between his words, read between the lines. He'd always prided himself on being cryptic, on knowing that very few people understood what he was saying when he was saying it. It saved him from having to talk to people who he didn't want to talk to and it also provided him with the amusement of watching people try and figure out what he was actually trying to say.
Now he wanted her to understand, to read between the lines. He wanted her to be one of those few people he knew what he was saying when he was talking and he wanted her to be the only person who he would rest his head against, as she accepted whatever it was he was telling her.
And that scared the shit out of him.
"Okay, dude, seriously, you're either going to have to tell me why you're here or continue to smother yourself with that pillow." Troy barely moved at Chad's voice, finding it interesting that he'd only just managed to extract himself from his mothers questioning, when Troy was sure he'd arrived over a half hour ago.
"What do you think of her?" Though his voice was muffled by the pillow, Troy knew that Chad had heard him. He also knew that Chad knew who he was talking about.
Chad was quiet for a moment. "I think she suits you a lot better than you think she does." He replied and Troy made a face into the pillow, only beginning to think that maybe he needed to breathe properly for a few seconds.
"How do you figure that?" Troy threw the pillow away, wanting to hear what Chad had to say and knowing that he would do his best to make sure his ice wasn't a factor in this conversation.
"She gets you. Don't ask me on what level and how. She just does. She may not know the whole story, but she knows you right now." Chad said it airily, as if it was something that Troy should have already known that about her.
"And?" Troy prompted, knowing that there was more to what Chad wanted to say and wanting to know what it was.
"Well, I wasn't exactly planning on telling you that she didn't take your jacket off while you were gone and I was going to tell you that I spoke to her as well." Troy turned his head at Chad's words, finding it interesting that Chad had spoken to Gabriella. He'd known at some time Chad would want to become better acquainted with Gabriella, he just hadn't expected it to be done while he was away.
"Really?" Troy asked and Chad nodded.
"Yep. She asked if I'd heard from you. I said yes and she just nodded, said something about you being okay and then went on her way. None of your other girls have ever known you like that, known that you calling me means your okay." Chad hadn't really been clued in on what had taken place in the last few hours. What he did know was that Troy had showed up on his front door at close to ten o'clock at night, silent and with a look on his face that Chad had never seen before.
Troy was quiet as he thought about what Chad had just said. He supposed that if Chad thought Gabriella understood him than he shouldn't be worried about whether or not she could read between the lines.
"We had sex." He didn't wince at the words. "Twice." Troy added as an afterthought. He wasn't sure what Chad's reaction would be, though he was pretty sure his friend had known it was on his mind the last time they spoke.
Troy heard Chad's slow, deep breath and knew that his friend was taking in his statement, adjusting to it and then thinking it over.
"And what? You ran away from her because you slept with her?" Troy forced himself not to wince at Chad's bluntly asked question, knowing that his friend was only voicing what he had been thinking minutes before.
"Not exactly." At Chad's disbelieving look, Troy amended. "Kind of. Maybe. I don't know dude, this is all just…weird." Chad choked back a laugh at Troy's words and furrowed brow.
"Not exactly? Dude, what the hell happened to you? You've never not known what you did." Chad said and Troy forced himself to not throw the pillow lying on his stomach at his friend for stating something that Troy considered was obvious.
"I don't know what happened to me Chad. One moment I was fine with walking back into her house for round two and the next we were yelling at each other." Chad kept quiet for a moment, unsure how to understand the sentence when Chad knew there had to be something to trigger the yelling in the first place.
"What happened to make you yell?" He asked and Troy shifted slightly, turning his head to look at his friend.
"McKessie was there when I got back. She was going to tell Gabriella, actually going to tell her so Gabriella would stay away from me." Troy said it bitterly and Chad raised his eyebrows, wondering why he had thought that it would all get easier when the sexual tension between Troy and Gabriella had dissolved slightly.
"Why the hell would McKessie do something like that?" Chad asked, not quite understanding Taylor's motives and curious to see if Troy knew them.
"Because she hates me, she hates the fact that Gabriella's been hanging out with me and she really hates the fact that Gabriella's not interested in Doug Howard because he's the one McKessie can see with her and not me." Troy sounded bored as he listed off the reasons and knew that Chad was thinking over what he was saying.
"You've got to be kidding me. Damn, for somebody who's meant to be smart McKessie sure is stupid." Chad muttered under his breath. "Troy –" He started again when Troy cut him off.
"I told her that I was pissed off because she made me feel. I told her that the look makes me feel." Because the wind had just been knocked out of him, Chad blew out a breath. He'd expected the sex, even figured there'd be an argument. He just hadn't thought that Troy would say so much in the argument, hadn't honestly thought that Troy would tell her about the look or that he felt.
"You seriously told her that?" Troy rolled his eyes at Chad's question.
"Would I say that I had if I hadn't?" He replied coolly, silently beginning to wish that he hadn't started the conversation and knowing that he would have either had to have it with Christy or Chad sooner or later.
"Troy…not everybody can read what you're trying to say when you say it." Because Chad's answer had been too much in tune with what he'd been thinking before, Troy moved his shoulders slightly.
Throwing an arm over his eyes, Troy spoke. "I know that, Chad. Do you honestly think that I don't know that? Why do you think I called Christy in the car to tell her to go over there? If Gabriella's still wants to speak to me, she'll tell Christy." Chad made a face at that.
"Isn't that a bit girly? Sending someone over to make sure she's not mad at you or whatever?" Chad asked and Troy shook his head, suddenly feeling unbearably tired as he thought about all that had taken place in the last few hours.
"She's not mad at me, Chad. She's hurt, knowing Gabriella, she's confused but she's definitely not mad at me." Troy spoke so knowingly that Chad had a feeling he'd been thinking about what Gabriella would be feeling when he'd left. Even before he'd left.
"So, why are you afraid she won't speak to you?" Troy sighed, knowing that he was confusing Chad.
"I'm not afraid she won't ever speak to me. I want to make sure she can read between the words Chad and who better to make sure she can than Christy?" Troy asked his tone cold and final. Chad shrugged, realizing that Troy had closed the conversation and still not sure why Troy had called Christy and told her to go see Gabriella.
Troy knew that Chad was thinking over what he had just said and he was happy for Chad to try and dissect it as he closed his eyes and wished to God he knew where to go from here. He supposed that he would have more direction when Christy came over to speak to him but until then, he supposed it wouldn't hurt to have a nap to reduce the headache that was slowly beginning to pound at his temples.
Christy fought back a groan of exhaustion as she turned into Gabriella's street and silently cursed Troy for calling her just as she'd been falling into a deep sleep that she'd needed for the past couple of days. She wondered why she had to go see Gabriella, why couldn't Chad have gone? She frowned as she realized that maybe it would have been weird for Chad to show up at Gabriella's door at ten o'clock at night. It was probably going to be weird enough that she was there.
Seeing the house Troy had described, Christy pulled up to the curb and shut off the engine. For a moment, she considered calling Troy to ask him what, exactly; he wanted her to talk to Gabriella about. Then realized that he would probably give her as much information as he had before and she didn't feel like butting her head against a brick wall again. Sighing, she grabbed her bag and got out of the car.
With a flick of her wrist, she locked the car and headed for Gabriella's front door, noting that there were still lights on in the house. As she reached the front door, it swung open and Christy was startled as Gabriella appeared and the hopeful look on her face crumbled as soon as she saw Christy heading for her.
"Hey, are you okay?" The way her face had crumbled startled Christy and she cursed Troy again as she realized that whatever he'd done, had inflicted a good amount of damage to Gabriella.
"Um, yeah, sure. I guess. Why are you here at ten o'clock?" Gabriella folded her arms across her chest and Christy suddenly realized that Gabriella had been hoping she was Troy.
"Because Troy called me and asked me to come over and see you." Honesty, she thought, was going to be the best policy right now. There was something about Gabriella that told her the poor girl needed something to cling onto.
"I – really?" Gabriella felt her heart swell at Christy's words. It meant something; he may not have come himself but sending Christy meant something. It meant he cared.
"Yep. Really. Do you mind if I come in?" Gabriella shook her head, stepping aside to let her in.
Christy stepped through the doorway and struggled to hide a yawn as she realized that something big had happened. She knew that Troy coming back from Santa Fe without telling anyone and going straight to Gabriella's was something big. But there was something else that had happened. She'd heard it in the tenseness of Troy's voice and the way Gabriella looked like she'd been crying only recently. Something had happened between the two of them that had shifted what was between them.
Christy only hoped to God neither of them had hurt each other.
"So, are you okay?" She asked the question carefully, hoping it wouldn't open floodgates and knowing that it would at least give her some idea of what had gone on.
Gabriella was silent as she led Christy into the living room, apparently thinking about her answer. She gestured for Christy to sit down and flopped down next to her, pulling a pillow onto her lap as she let out a low breath.
"Have you ever…have you ever done something that you can't regret, but know you should but can't because it lead you to realize that your feelings are so intense your okay with whatever comes next?" It was much too late for Christy to try and follow Gabriella's question without getting a headache so she settled for a simply shake of her head.
"No. What are you talking about?" Christy hoped that Gabriella wouldn't ask a similarly confusing question to answer her own simple one. If she did, Christy would have to conclude that she'd been spending too much time with Troy.
Gabriella was silent for a moment. "We slept together. I gave him…he was my first." And that, Christy thought, said it all. "I can't regret it." Gabriella said and Christy suddenly understood the question before.
"Why can't you regret it?" She asked gently, already having a pretty good idea why she couldn't regret it and having a feeling that it was going to complicate whatever Troy thought her role was.
Gabriella shook her head. Suddenly feeling a frightened urge to not tell Christy why she couldn't regret, Gabriella shook her head and hugged the pillow tighter. Needing to change the subject so she didn't have to say it out loud, Gabriella swallowed.
"Why did Troy call you? I was under the impression that Troy didn't like you." Christy sighed and rolled her eyes. Of course Troy gave Gabriella the impression that he didn't like her. For the last six years, Troy had been giving off the impression that Christy was a thorn in his side and Christy had never really minded until right now when she hadn't thought Gabriella would change the conversation like that.
"Yeah well, Troy gives off that impression a lot. It's part of his charm. Gabriella, why can't you regret it?" Oh she was so going to make Troy pay for making her do this, especially if Gabriella started crying, Christy thought as she watched the girl in front of her shrug.
Gabriella bit her lip, shaking her head slightly. She drew in a deep breath as she closed her eyes, feeling unbearably tired. She didn't want to talk about it. She needed time to process. To think over things and to figure out why she couldn't regret it. She needed time to figure out what to do about it all and she needed time to think about what Troy had said, how he had said it and how she was meant to face him when she saw him again.
"I just…Christy, thanks for coming over. And thanks for wanting to talk. But I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Tell Troy…tell Troy that I'll see him at school and I know he's not using me." Christy frowned at Gabriella's words, wondering what they meant and then realizing that she was going to have to contaminate herself by going to the Danforth's house after this.
"Um, okay. I'll see you at school, then." Christy stood up, wondering why on earth today was her day to messenger. Gabriella nodded slowly as Christy headed out of the living room.
"Yeah. See you at school." She said and Christy watched as her eyes focused on something just behind Christy.
"Hey Gabriella?" Christy looked back at her as Gabriella's eyes refocused on her. "He wouldn't have sent me if he didn't care." Even as she said it, she wondered if it was the right thing to say. She wondered if it was the right thing to say because Gabriella's eyes only clouded in confusion even more.
Because she realized Gabriella wasn't going to say anything, Christy turned on her heel and headed out, knowing that she had to get to the Danforth's house and then turn off her cell phone for the rest of the weekend.
Troy knew Christy had arrived even before he heard her storming down to the basement to yell at him for whatever she had found out from Gabriella. He'd heard Chad's curse from the basement as soon as he'd answered the door. He just wondered if Chad's mother was up so he could listen to Harriet Danforth tear into her son.
Keeping his eyes resolutely shut, Troy picked up the pillow and shoved it in his face, wishing that he was still asleep so he didn't have to handle Christy yelling at him. He'd known she'd been asleep when he'd called her and he'd also known that the weekends were the only time she got any real sleep.
But he'd had to know if Gabriella was okay and he knew that he couldn't exactly go back to her house. He'd doubted she would want to see him.
"Troy Bolton, you are so dead." He kept his eyes closed even as Christy yanked the pillow off his face. "Open your eyes and look at me." Troy opened one eye and took note of the pale face hovering above hers.
"What'd she say?" He asked bluntly and Christy raised one pale blonde eyebrow at the demand in his voice.
"She said that you two slept together. Now, I know you didn't sleep with her and then leave. Did you?" She asked menacingly and it was Troy's turn to raise an eyebrow as he heard Christy's own demand. He vaguely heard Chad come into the room and take a seat on the recliner that was to the left of the lounge Troy was lying on.
"Yes. I slept with her and left and I don't need a lecture from you about it." Troy said forcing himself to not sound tired as he watched Christy's eyes darken. "What I need is what she said." Troy said and Christy sighed.
"Fine." Because she knew she wasn't going to get anything from him, Christy relented. "She said that she'll see you at school and that she knows you're not using her." Troy forced himself not to react outwardly to the words. Instead, something in him relaxed as he realized she meant it. She knew he wasn't using her. It was enough for now.
"Okay, good. Thank you Christy. Go home and sleep." Snatching the pillow back from her, Troy covered his face again and waited to hear Christy leaving and Chad's goodbye taunt. Instead he felt her tug at the pillow again.
"You're going to tell me what happened later, right?" She asked as half his face was uncovered. Troy shrugged.
"You know the high points. We slept together. Twice. I think that covers it for one night, don't you?" Troy deliberately used his cold, amused voice as he answered Christy's question. Christy eyed him disbelievingly as he said, wondering how he could be so cold about something like that.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me. Troy, I don't know what's happened between you guys. I don't. But she's seriously going to break if it's not all out there soon." Troy's mind flashed to the image of Gabriella's arm around him and his head on her shoulder. He knew that, somewhere he'd known that he was going to have to tell her before something inside her snapped the way something inside him was threatening to snap.
"Bye Christy." Troy said and the pillow dropped back on his face as she huffed and moved away from Troy.
"Nice seeing you Christy. I'll remember to call you when I need to try and get Troy to listen." Troy ignored Chad's farewell and Christy's own answer to it.
He knew Christy was right. He and Gabriella needed to talk. They needed to sit down and he needed to force himself to talk, to tell her things he hadn't told anyone. Things Christy and Chad knew because they'd been there when it had happened. They just needed to sit down and talk to each other, instead of their friends.
A/N: Well, Troy's confusing, Gabriella's confused and Troy's finally come to the realization that it might help if they talked. Which I promise will happen in the next couple of chapters, along with a little drama from Taylor. Anyway, things will beginning to be cleared up in the next couple of chapters, I think I've dragged it out long enough. I hope you enjoyed, even if you were disappointed by the lack of T/G interaction.