CONQUEST

Chapter 7: Stupid Kiss

Disclaimer: I own nothing

An: I love you guys for the reviews..keep it up..

Looking in the mirror, I slowly brushed my hair. I was getting ready for school and my outfit just wanted to make me look hideous, defeated I tied up my hair in a messy bun and took out my trusted old sweats and quickly changed. My style was unimportant, it didn't bother me. I quickly hurried down the stairs and, grabbing my bag I headed out the door, quickly disturbed by my own thoughts of him.

He was always on my mind now. And since that kiss, that stupid kiss, I couldn't get him or his eyes out of my head. They burned into me, and I wanted them so much, yet it killed me to admit that, becuase I knew what he was after, the one thing I would not give up. The one thing I held dear to me, from the one boyfriend I had ever had, my innocence. He was the first thing I thought of when I headed out the door this morning, he was the one I wanted with me in my bed last night, kissing me and telling me that I was beautiful, just somebody to tell me that I wasn't a loner or a loser. But he couldn't be that somebody.

I wanted to rid him from my mind, because I knew that we would never be anything more once this dance class and semester was over. We would be nothing more than a distant memory to one another, we would move on, and I would fine somebody who was capable of loving me, who would put up with all of my imperfections, and who would find me the better for them, not like him, he wanted what most teenagers wanted. Sex.

I opened the door cautiously to my car, the sun was beating down on me and I was very warm, I should not have worn what I had worn, it was too hot out and now I was paying for it. It was all I needed. Who would have thought that it would be like this in October, not me anyway.

My steering wheel burned my hands, but I didn't notice. What would I do about this guy? He said he wanted me, then he stopped kissing me, he made me feel like a fool, he was a good actor feeding all the right lines. He was somebody that belonged on the stage, centre of attention. He was the one who should be famous, should be somebody in our tiny little overly preppy school. I still hadn't figured out why he wasn't a celebrity. Maybe he enjoyed sweet little New Mexico girls. I had no idea.

I turned into the school, hoping somehow that he would be there waiting for me, but he wasn't. He would be there after school, and we would practice dancing, because that was what he wanted, and he always got what he truly wanted, if there was a way to get something, he would get it. Which meant that he didn't want me badly enough, so I could stop thinking about him, but the truth was that I couldn't and I couldn't figure out why because I had only been here two weeks. But it seemed the norm for him to do this, get into people, get them to fall for the sweet guy, sleep with you and then walk away, but somehow I couldn't figure it out. I wanted him too badly that I was willing to sacrifice that just to have him near.

I walked through the small doors, they seemed kind of familiar after just a few weeks, and I headed to my locker, hoping that nobody would see me. I looked like shit. As soon as that thought had entered my head, I felt a hand on the small of my back. I was about to turn around and slap it away but it was Troy, and one look at him and I couldn't be angry, which irked me to no end.

"Hi" I sighed, turning back to my books

He curled himself around to meet my eyes "Hi"

I couldn't do anything. I needed him right then and there. But I held back. Waiting for him to make the next move. Swiftly he kissed me on the cheek and walked away, without an answer, without anything, and I was left standing, annoyed and more confused by him then I had ever been. But then I saw him, he was obviously moving away because he saw his friends, he was embarrassed by me, and I couldn't really blame him. I was nothing like any of the girls in this school, the ones that he slept with before, if I was him I'd be embarrassed too.

Kelsi caught up with me next, babbling on about the previous night's happenings, we had dance yesterday and her and Ryan had accomplished a new move, as she liked to call it. I was happy and nodded at all of the correct positions but I wasn't paying much attention, I was consumed by him. Again. I needed to get him out of my head, but I couldn't and I wouldn't. Luckily she never noticed that I wasn't paying much attention, she caught up with Ryan, who had just revealed to Pay and I that he was in fact dating Kelsi, it was a surprise seeing as she didn't want it announced over the whole school. I acted happy, but the whole time, thinking of new moves that could be accomplished with Troy. And every one I hated myself more and more with.

Troy never looked up from his work as we shared Ap eng lit and Ap french, he wasn't one that would notice me, no matter how much he said. He would never love me, which was stupid to believe that after meeting him and loathing him in the beginning to being consumed by thoughts of many situations where Troy and I could find myself, alone and making out. It was wrong, all wrong. But I couldn't stop it.

I needed him to leave my life so that I could go back to normal. I needed to get back to school work. I couldn't keep him in my head, it would cost me too much. But I knew that every time I thought about him going, I wanted to kick myself, because I knew that I didn't mean it. Finally it was time for home and we had a pile of work to do. Heading to my car, I couldn't even think about dance because I knew that I had to get home because we had so much of it. I was happy for the distraction.

But I knew I wouldn't get away that easily, I felt a strong arm pull mine, and I knew that there was no questioning it. I had to do it, he wouldn't let me go home, to attend to the pile of homework that I needed to get done so that I couldn't think about him. The car journey was silent, we took his car to the dance studio, and in the car I couldn't help but look at him. He was beautiful, and I knew that I would never match up to that. He pulled to a stop and finally took a glance at me before speaking.

"I'm going to quit" he said finally

"What" I asked, unsure of the meaning

"I'm going to quit trying to get you because I know you won't be with me"

"I don't like you that's why" he knew that I was lying

"Stop lying, you lier" he spat

"Just because I don't want to jump into bed with you" I spat back, he was so irritating, and he couldn't give a fuck about me

"Such a hypocrite"

"Huh" I asked, incredulous

"That thing's supposed to mean that you'll wait for love" he was looking at my ring

I nodded, confused

"Well here love is right in front of your eyes and you're turning your back on it"

I sat there unable to move. In some ways he was right, but I had to remind myself that he was an actor, playing a sweet guy.

"I'll move on" he sighed "But you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that you turned your back on me"

I sat there. He looked so sincere, he was so emotional. It made me want to cry. But I knew it, if he was acting or not, he was telling me what I was afraid to hear and I knew that he was right, I was a hypocrite, because I loved him. Even if he didn't love me. And that's what my ring was about. Waiting for love. And here he was.

"You'll make the choice" he sighed

And I did. With one swift movement I was on his lap and he was pulling me to the back of the car. He kissed with such tenderness, his arms locked around my head as his lips gently moved with mine, our bodys tangling, our tongues moving with each other as one. My body ached for him as he moved from my lips and began kissing a trail along my jawline and down my collarbone, I was never more sure that I wanted him than right now. As I pulled my shirt from my body, he gazed down at me, allowing his own shirt to fall to the floor, but as I kissed him one more time and pulled my hair from my eyes , his face turned to fear and he quickly pulled away, as if something had washed over him and he realized what he was doing.

"I'm sorry" he said, pulling his shirt away from the floor and headed out of the car, leaving me there, regretting what I had just done