CONQUEST

Chapter 13: Us Don't give up

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Troy looked across the room at me. We had an understanding now, not on a making love or even making out level but an understanding that we were civil and we would remain friends. My eyes darted over to him and he looked away quickly, I shook my head in response and continued my conversation with Kelsi.

"So how are you and Ry" I asked, knowing that they didn't like to flaunt their relationship

"We're ok I guess" she sighed, thumbing through her phone

"What's wrong" I asked, trying to hear her, Kelsi was a very quiet person

"I don't know, I think he's worried"

I shrugged, confused at what she was saying to me "Huh" I asked

"He's a worrier, he thinks that Pay can't cope"

I sighed, of course this was about himhe was always going to be in Pays life now that they had a son together. Though when Troy and I had talked he had explained that he used his dance as an escape, to get away from everything else. He needed time to be who he wanted. That was why he came to me so late, to see me. To get away. Though he had also said that sex was a way to distract himself, but he also told me that he wouldn't trade in nights in with his baby boy for anything in the world.

He seemed like a good father to me. He seemed like he could cope. But it seemed like Ryan thought otherwise.

"But she has Troy"

She nodded, not looking up. "But Troy has you"

I looked at her, confusion written on my face. I couldn't understand what she meant. Just because he had fallen in 'love' with me. People do that all the time. It didn't mean forever. I was shocked that they would think that. It disgusted me in fact.

"We're acquaintances, dance partners, nothing more, I'm not coming between him and Pay anymore"

She shook her head "He's in love with you Gabi, its always going to be a problem"

"People grow up, he'll fall in love again, a man falls in love more than once" I sighed, wincing at this fact, but he wasn't going to be forgiven

"He loves you now Gabi" she sighed "Its a problem"

I shook my head vigorously "It won't" I was jaded

"It is" she whispered, noticing the teacher walk into the room

We sat in silence as we were given our French essays, about l'envrienment. I looked over at Troy, his hand was flying across the page. This was his subject after all. I wasn't surprised. He seemed to be good at the lingustic side of things, he needed it to lie his way out of things, and to get girls in bed with him.

It took me longer to do it. French wasn't really my thing. I felt his eyes on me, but he wasn't getting off that easily. He had betrayed me and I didn't know if I could ever trust him the way I did. But I would be friendly, I would talk to him. But I wouldn't trust him in the slightest, it didn't seem like the right thing to do, but he had betrayed the trust I had put in him, and that had to be something that couldn't be overlooked.

I understood that it was his choice not to tell me, but if he couldn't tell me that. What else was he hiding. He didn't seem like the whole relationship type anyway, did it really matter?

The bell finally rang and I saw him lift his head to hand up his paper and I could see that he seemed tire. He must had had enough at this stage, but no I wouldn't feel sympathy for him. I wouldn't do that, not anymore. Not that I ever did really, though yesterday when he had to help his son walk it broke my heart because he was so in love with him, but I knew that's not what he really wanted.

But I had to shake it off. And fast. He would not have a hold over me like he did.

I headed out the door, a pink streak pulling me inside a now empty classroom. It was the twin brother worrier.

"Ry" I started, flustered that he had brought me in here without consulting me first

He smiled at my state "I need to talk to you" he sighed

"About what" I asked, smiling

"You and Troy" he sighed, taking a look at me

not this again

"Pay's worried now that he's fallen for you and well..I am too"

"Look, he can fall for me all he likes, I'm not going back to him"

"But, Pay, she can't handle this by herself, she needs Troy, that's why she wanted you to stay away, her son needs a father"

I nodded silently, listening to his side of the story. And to be honest, he made some good points. But I wasn't going to take Troy away from his son. I couldn't do that to him. He loved him too much and I knew that if I made him choose, he would choose me and I would hate that.

"I'm not gonna take him" I sighed

"I know that" he smiled, touching my arm, "But Pay doesn't"

I nodded taking in what he was saying, but I didn't want to be told what to do by people who were supposed to be my friends, I know that they were looking out for each other, I understood why, but it I just wanted to love, live, sing, dance, have my heart broken and be the child I never got to be.

"Why can't I just be me" I sighed

he looked at me confused, but nodded

"Look Gabi, I know what you mean, but Troy, he's not well..used to the one girl, we don't want you to be hurt by his lies"

"Look, I can handle it"

He shook his head softly "I know, but eventually you're gonna fall for him again" he looked me over and sighed "You already have"

I nodded my head lamely, tears falling down my cheeks "But he betrayed me"

He put his arms around me, rubbing my eyes gently "Ssh, I'm only here because she's my sister and I love her despite it all"

I laid my head on his shoulder "I know Ry, but I love him, and I can't be with him"

"He's not worth it"

I knew what he was saying was right. He was gonna get over me, he would be fine. This must be the way he usually left girls. Though he had never had the chance to leave me, because the night we made love I knew that things were too deep for me to come out smiling.

I smiled as he pulled me in closer to him "I need somebody like you"

He smiled and kissed my forehead "You will Gabi, but just not Troy yeah"

I nodded, wiping tears "You're right I will fall in love again"

In my heart I knew that it was true. I would fall in love again. But I couldn't be sure that it would be with somebody else who I could trust or whether it would be the guy that's all wrong for me? I wanted to know for sure that I could get over him. But really I couldn't be. Love is never certain. I knew that.

I headed out of the classroom, the hallways empty. We had missed most of our Bio class. But I didn't care. I was fed up of not knowing where to go or what to do. Ryan eyed me in a way that let me know that he was here for me, and I was glad, but only without Troy annoying me he would be here, utterly conditional. But I knew that I could cope, because I loved him less everyday.

The bell went once again and he walked by and, whispered in my ear "Im not giving up on us"