-1
Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine
Chapter Two
My heart had nearly jumped out of it's chest at the voice, but I sighed in relief to see it was just Kai. "Did I scare you?" he asked softly, something pained lingering in his eyes.
"No.." I lied, unable to tell him I had just hoped it was someone else.
But his mind beat me to it. "Were you thinking about Hagi?" He asked in a calm enough tone, but I knew it was forced.
"I thought I heard…his cello," I admitted, staring back towards to window. "Right outside."
"He's dead,. Saya," Kai said softly, gripping my shoulders lightly.
"No, he's not!" I shouted, pushing him away from me and climbing into bed. "Goodnight."
Kai's face looked so pained I had to turn away before I started crying again. I was sorry. It's not Kai's fault, he's just being honest. He left the room, closing it behind him with a sigh. Flooded with guilt, I managed, somehow, to fall asleep. My dreams took me back to Vietnam, when I had let insanity consume my senses and given in to the bloodshed surrounding me. I had been a monster then, and it frightened me that some part of me now longed for that. Perhaps if I went berserk again, they'd put me back to sleep. Then I wouldn't remember the pain when I woke up. I wouldn't remember anything…
Morning came and I pushed away the dark thoughts that still coursed through my mind. Kai would never forgive me for that. He had breakfast ready at the table, and smiled when I sat down and my stomach gave a low growl. "You haven't changed!" he grinned.
Haven't I? I mused. "Neither have you, " I smiled back. "Except for that grey hair, of course."
We laughed for a moment and then ate our breakfast. When Kai finished, he looked at me with hopeful eyes. "You know, Kaori still lives near here, taking care of her mom," he said. "You could visit her if you want."
"No," I replied flatly.
"Why not?" he demanded. "It's been thirty years. Don't you even want to see her? She was your best friend."
"No, Kai," I repeated. "She was my best friend. But it HAS been thirty years. How do you think she'd take it seeing me exactly the same. She'd be afraid, think I was inhuman, or worse. A monster."
"Is that really what you think?" he asked, shielding the grief in his eyes.
"Yes," I whispered, tears stinging at my eyes.
"Alright then," he said, sitting up and putting our dishes in the sink. "What about the beach? Would you like to go there?"
"Sure," I managed a small smile.
Relieved, he finished up the dishes and I went upstairs to get dressed. I settled for a light blue sundress and avoided the mirror. My eyes seemed red each time I looked, but I knew they weren't, yet.
Kai was waiting at the door with a beach bag and we left for the beach. It wasn't crowded in our place, nor did it ever seem to be. As Kai stuck an umbrella into place with a blanket to sit on as well, I made my way toward the water. I shivered as the cool water rose and caressed my skin briefly before being sucked back. Kai was standing next to me now, looking curiously at me. "did you wear a swimsuit under that?"
"Oh!" I said, embarrassed. "Actually, I forgot…but it's okay, I can just go in like this."
Before he could stop me, I was wading out through the waves in my dress. It didn't really matter, I realized. My dress clung to me until I finally was out deep enough to float. "Saya!" Kai called, still fairly close to shore. "Be careful!"
I smiled at his warning and lay floating on my back. The waves thrashed gently beneath me, and I could have gone to sleep right there in the cool waters. My head dipped under enough to that my ears were completely underwater, and I heard it again. The long, agonizing notes of the cello. They were haunting me. Or was it Hagi himself haunting me? I turned and dove down into the water, letting a wave catch me and torrent about. I twisted with the force of it, a few rocks and broken bits if shell scraping my skin as I swirled underwater. Finally the wave had reached the shore, and I slammed into the sand with breath-stealing force.
Kai came running over to me, his eyes so very frantic. "What?" I smiled, spitting water up at him. "It was fun."
"Fun?" he said incredulously, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. "You're bleeding."
I hadn't even felt the pain, and Kai picked me up roughly. "We're going to see Julia."