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Disclaimer: Blood+ is not mine…

Chapter Three

"This dream that I see, don't kill it, it's free…you're just a man, you get what you can….we all do just what we can, so we can do just one more thing…"

-Cat Power/Chan Marshall-

I just stared quietly out the window until we reached the bar and Kai called Julia over. The tension of his withheld anger left the room close to suffocating. "I'm sorry Kai," I said finally, not sure what I was apologizing for.

"It's fine…just don't do reckless things," he said softly. "I haven't seen you in thirty years Saya, think about it. The last thing I want to see is you getting hurt, intentionally or not."

I nodded my head but no words escaped my suddenly parched throat. Why was I being so selfish? It's not like he took Hagi away from me. It's not like he…made the building collapse…oh god…My hands clenched themselves on the sides of my head, tangling into my hair as my eyes squeezed shut and I tried not to scream.

"I love you…"

Those cruel, cruel words. Crumbled into the rubble of the ceiling. Into the rubble of my emotions themselves. I was digging around, searching for what used to make me smile, but I found nothing tangible. A light weight touched my shoulders, and I slapped it away before realizing it was just Kai. My body was trembling and I could barely contain the tears. "Hagi…where is he? Tell me!?"

Kai backed away, staring at me with that pained gaze. Sorry Kai, just leave me alone, ignore me…don't listen and you won't get hurt. Stay away from me and you'll live…you'll still be able to smile and mean it…but the words stayed inside. I had no voice now. Julia came in and I took in her slim and startled form. "Hello Saya," she smiled gently. "Looks like you had a little too much fun at the beach, eh?"

We walked up to my room and as I lay down on the bed she got out her supplies. I was getting a transfusion as she wiped up my cuts; the more blood I received the more the cuts healed until they were finally all gone. She gave Kai an icy stare until he left the room, and then turned back to me. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Finally the tears did come again, and she put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. I understand the pain you're going through, having to kill your own sister…seeing everyone get much older…it's not an easy life."

Rage flooded me faster than I could blink away the tears. "You think I'm upset about that?" I nearly shrieked. "It has nothing to do with any of you! Hagi is dead, and it's all my fault. Hagi! Not you, not Kai, not…"

Kai had come back into the room, and Julia walked over to him in a swift stride that betrayed her age and slapped him. His face dropped and I sat up, confused. "What's going on?"

Neither of them looked at me. "You didn't tell her!" Julia yelled. "How could you not tell her That. Look at her, she's a mess!"

"Tell me what?" I asked, angry but unsure if I really wanted to hear what came next.

Kai lifted his face and gazed at me, tears streaming down. "I'm so sorry Saya…"

He wouldn't say anymore, so I looked to Julia and she continued. "Hagi…is alive."

"What?!" I whispered, rising from the bed. "How could you not tell me Kai?"

Betrayal like the day I found out Diva was my sister flooded me, and I ripped out the IV in my arm, splattering blood everywhere. "Saya wait, there's more!" Julia tried to stop me. "Hagi doesn't-"

"I don't care what else you have to say, until I find him, I don't want to see any of you!" with my grief-stricken whisper, I ran past them and out of the room, down the stairs and out into the falling night.

"Hagi doesn't remember anything Saya…" Julia mumbled, the words drifting through the darkened room unheeded and unheard.

AN: Sorry it took a while to update, I was working on some other writing that doesn't go on fan fiction. Then next chapter should be longer, hopefully anyways. Review Please!