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Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht

Chapter Seven

Morning arose with the intensity of a fresh, impressionable day. Anything could happen. He could remember. Or he could run away, constantly struggling on the road to falling apart. If he traveled that worn path, I would most certainly follow. I was selfish, so painfully selfish. I knew. If Hagi decided to end his life somehow, I would follow him there too. Abandon everything and follow him into the depths of hell itself. My eyes were wide in bewildering thoughts of realization as Kai tapped on my door. "Breakfast is ready!" he called, and I listened as his footsteps padded back down the hall.

Stretching, I pulled back the covers and got out of bed. For now, I would wait. I would live, for now. Breakfast with Kai was so simple, so normal, I could have cried. This was how life had been before I met Hagi. Or Red Shield. Or myself. The I inside. That was when I didn't recall the true darkness that existed in the world. "you alright? Was it a bad egg?" Kai asked, a curious gaze directed at me.

"Oh, it was great," I replied and took another bite, trying to stop dazing off.

He just grinned at me and finished his plate before getting up and doing the dishes. I didn't even try to stop him this time. There was no point. I kept myself from trying to look out the window, so I was surprised at Kai's nest remark. "I have to open soon, but you don't have to stick around. You can wander around today, if you stay out of trouble."

"Thanks Kai," I replied, going upstairs to change. I pulled on a red tank top and some jeans, slipping on my tennis shoes and leaving with a quick wave to Kai.

The sky was bluer than I remembered, but then again it had been so long since I could actually enjoy a nice day. In the distance, I heard Hagi playing his mournful cello. Amazing that after everything, he still remembers that. Just not…not me. I turned around the opposite corner, not even giving him a glance. Who was afraid now? For the rest of the afternoon I spent time walking down the streets I used to jog along for track practice. And then I stayed put in a quiet little café to think, Claude Debussy playing softly through the speakers. Soothing and slow….why couldn't my thoughts be as such?

When the first traces of evening came to my attention, I finished my latte and started to head home. If I stayed out too long Kai would certainly wonder. On the way back I passed Hagi putting away his cello. Our eyes met and he didn't turn away for what seemed like an eternity; something smoldering in the blue depths of his gaze. I shivered and continued walking, not really understanding the feeling that came over me. But not disliking it, either.

Kai was just finishing up closing the bar when I came in. "Have a good day?" he asked, already starting in dinner.

"Yeah," I replied simply.

As he cooked it suddenly occurred to me how lonely his life must be. Why didn't he get married? Have children? Or move away? I wasn't that important. But I suppose after everything that happened when I was awake before, how could anyone want a family and a settled down life? Even I would be afraid of what might happen to them. Poor Kai. I had taken everything away from him. And yet…he loved me still. As if I really were his sister, not some monster. My appetite was vanquished by the negativity of my thoughts, and I excused myself and went up to my room.

After taking a shower and laying down in bed, I closed my eyes and attempted to fall asleep. But then I remembered the gaze Hagi had given me across the street. My heartbeat sped up and I couldn't calm down. I heard a creak near the window and my eyes darted over in fear. "Saya…" it was Hagi, coming through the window and sauntering over to me, voice low and husky.

I didn't say a word, I was too captivated by the intent expression on his face. It was….something like hunger? For me? And then his body weight was pinning me down, his breath upon my neck. "Saya…I might not remember you…but…"

"It's okay," I smiled in the dark, trying not to cry or anything as my arms wrapped around his back. "It's okay…I understand."

A/N: Please Review! I might not get to update tomorrow, I have to go to the doctor to see how the anemia is doing. And it's Friday, so chances are I won't be home after that either. Anyways….thank you to those who have reviewed!