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Disclaimer: Blood+ ist meine nicht.

Chapter Nine

Julia let out a long, measured sigh and glanced over at Kai's forcedly blank expression. "I'll gather up all of David's files on them," she said, staring seriously at me. "And we'll see what we can do starting tomorrow evening. For now, I'm going home and to bed."

"Thank you…Julia," I bowed slightly as she left, a sadness gripping me as I realized what sort of sacrifice this would be to her heart.

Kai, being too nice of a person to let me see how angry he was feeling, just mumbled goodnight and went off to bed. I turned to the nonchalant Hagi in the doorway. "Well?" I asked.

"What?"

"Will you help me?" I asked simply.

He stared at me, unreadable. Then he hesitantly made his way towards me and ran a bandaged hand across my cheek, and my eyes closed as I leaned into the touch. "If that is what you want," he replied.

My eyes shot open in surprise. "You remember!?" I almost shrieked.

"No? Did I used to say things like that?" he seemed confused again.

"It doesn't matter," I replied, still happy even if he didn't understand why. "Come on…"

I headed for the stairs and turned to see him staring at me with a slight frown. "Huh?" he said.

"Come on upstairs, you can stay here with me," I said, adding on more quietly. "Unless you don't want to."

Hagi let out a quick sigh of frustration before following after me up the stairs. Once we were in my room with the door firmly closed, I sat on my bed and stared out at the blackened sky. It was a new moon tonight, and the sky was so dark it looked like a tear in the sky revealing the cold space above. Clouds swirled restlessly in the distance, a storm brewing. Hagi stood on the other side of the room for a while, still unsure. Then finally he came over and sat down on the bed near me. I leaned back against his chest and felt him flinch slightly.

Constantly I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn't used to this, and not to be hurt by his reactions. But it was still very, very hard. "So…Hagi," I started, breaking the quiet veil over the room. "What's it like being alive thirty years without knowing who you are?"

"Thirty years?" he questioned, his arm draped lazily around my stomach. "I don't feel like it's been that long. But who's to say? Everything has been a fog; a dream. I'm not sure what each day is supposed to bring, I only end up swimming through the maddening confusion when I try to remember anything."

I turned my face enough to bury it in the crook of his neck, breathing in softly. "I'm sorry," I whispered against his skin. "This is all my fault, you know."

"Is it?" he mused curiously, but not accusingly as I had feared he might. "How?"

I gulped, fighting off the tears and the rising knot in my throat. "Well, thirty years ago, we were in a battle. It was a battle with the other chevaliers, in fact. And chiropteran. You protected me….fought for me. And then you…you…"

"It's okay, tell me," he said, voice soft as he gently stroked my waist-length hair.

"You admitted how you felt about me. Made me want to live. Said you loved me and then…the building collapsed right on top of you, right in front of me! I thought you were dead…and now…I'm so sorry Hagi," I said, the sobs finally racking through my body as his arms tightened around me.

His lips touched the top of my hair and he said lightly, "I don't blame you, Saya."

Those words just made me cry even harder, but at least they were more out of relief. Like Kai, he had reasons to despise me. I would never understand why they didn't. It only hurt them more to love me. What was there to love so strongly, anyways? Now I was the confused one. Hagi grabbed me under the chin and turned my face up towards him. "I mean it, I don't blame you," he said again, kissing me gently and unsure, the tormenting thoughts eminent in the press of his lips.

My arms snaked their way around his neck and he groaned slightly as my mouth opened to his, and he gently pushed me down into the bed. His lips trailed down to my neck, tugging my shirt down enough to kiss my shoulder. "Hagi.." I moaned, his hands trailing my sides and sliding up under my shirt.

But then his actions became shaky, and trembling, he pulled away from me. "It's not right," he grumbled, becoming less sure of the truth in the words.

I didn't bother to protest, I was out of breath anyway. He pulled me against him and we lay like that, his eyes closed to relax even though he couldn't sleep. "But this…I could certainly get used to," he said playfully, pulling me more tightly against him.

I smiled into the dark as my eyes closed. This was how everything felt it should be. If only I could freeze and stay in this moment forever. But tomorrow would be a different matter. Tomorrow could end up a night like thirty years ago. Tomorrow we could even die. So for now, right here, I would let this linger. I would smile.

A/N: Review…..please?