Finding Fiesel
Forgotten or Abandoned
-Fiesel-
I took a seat on the dewy grass next to Jorrie who was calmly eating her lunch. Spring Break was long sense over and I hadn't yet returned to the Sugar Blush. I tried not to think about it, and I really just wasn't comfortable going back yet. I hadn't told Jorrie about me discovery either because I knew if I did, she would want me to take her there: Something I didn't want to do.
I looked at Jorrie with her long, straight amber hair. Her shiny metallic emerald eyes glistened in the mid-spring sunshine. Her upper-class European silk clothes augmented her appearance. Jorrie seemed so perfect to me. Why couldn't I be like her? How I envy her so. Jorrie looked up at me when I sat down.
"Hi, Fiesel!" She said warming, "How was your break?".
I shrugged my shoulders. "Average, kinda boring," I said, "Just like a really long weekend". She smiled.
"Well that's good, I guess," she replied. I looked at her neck: She was wearing the necklace I had given her a couple years. That was one of things I loved about Jorrie more than anything: She cared about me. I gave that necklace to her on one of her birthdays and she said she hadn't taken it off sense, although I somewhat doubt that. It had a cross embedded with purple amethyst gems around its edges. She always seemed to be wearing it, at least around me.
Honestly, behind all of Jorrie's goodness, I couldn't stop thinking that maybe Jorrie didn't really care about me. Maybe she was just another person throwing scraps of pity for me a cling on to. Although I had my doubts about her sometimes, I tried to think about her in the very best way, which most of the time she pulled through to be. Not to long after I had sat down, the recess bell rang, informing us that it was time to return to class.
The duration of school was dull, monotonous, and all together annoying. After countless circles and the gym and some not-so-fun painting in art, it was about time to go home. I was getting my books put away when I noticed that boy walking past the window. Cameron Menzel; the boy that Jorrie told me she liked. I looked him closely, noting his every detail, almost has if inspecting for good enough Jorrie-quality. I didn't see what was so special about him. She told me that he was magnificent, so I believed her. But to this day I still don't understand why some girls go so gaa-gaa over boys.
Just as another day had past, school was over before I took a second blink or thought about it. I had my stuff and was getting ready to walk home; the thing I hated most about every day of school. To get home, I had to go to St. Peter's Street. To get there I had to go past every one of my peers. Most of them had nothing against me at all, but a lot of them took pleasure out of making fun of my size, my cloths, and above all, my name.
I quickly sped through the over-bustled mass of kids trying to fight there way to the buses to be sure and get the back seat. While and navigated through the crop of kids, like every other day of my life, I got remarks from all directions. More horrific names kept pouring through the lines of bodies, entering my ears. As always the most common one I heard was "Feeble Fiesel!" Oh how I wish I could find out who started that name for me. I would despise them forever.
"Feeble Fiesel" was something I had been called for a little over a year now. Obviously a slam toward my name and size, everybody in my grade knew who it referred to, and about half of the kids in my grade called me by it. Of course, after consulting the teacher about it, she tried to insist to me that what they were calling me was a joke and all in plain fun. I wasn't even going to try the principal, and Gayle was hopeless.
Through bodies and backpacks I shoved until I had surpassed the buses. I looked back to wave bye to Jorrie, as I always do. She got on the closest bus to me; bus #22. I looked to find Jorrie, just underneath the rest of her classmates. I waved goodbye and went on my way.
Jorrie, like myself, is rather small for her age. I don't think her condition is as obvious and severe as my own, however, I know that compared to the rest of her classmates that Jorrie is tiny. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why Jorrie understood me so well. Either way, it didn't matter to me. As long as I actually had her around everything was alright.
I walked through my front door, expecting calamity, but got confusion instead. Gayle and Ray were waiting on the couch with bags at both sides. The two of them were wearing matching blue and green outfits, hats, and jeans. I didn't know what was going on, all I know is that it was something that didn't concern me.
"Guess what Sugar Pie!" Gayle welcomed me with. "We're going on a little trip!" I stood in complete silence. Gayle just spoke to me as though I was her true daughter, and the way she did it, it sounded very awkward.
Ray jumped in along with Gayle's excitement. "Your Mother got a new job!" he said leaping off the couch. This wasn't really a surprise for me to hear. The real surprise is that we were actually celebrating because of it. "We have your clothes packed already! Now go and find anything else you want to take so we can get going right away!"
"Wait, wait!" I demanded. "Where are we even going?" I wanted to know where I was going before I actually wanted to go anywhere.
"We're going to Detroit!" Gayle shouted. My heart stopped and my pulse dropped to zero. No way. No way in heck. How could he go to Detroit? Why would we go to Detroit? I was so confused.
"Wait…what?" I asked. "We're in Florida, and Detroit is like –"
"1400 miles away?" Ray finished for me rhetorically. I nodded silently. Obviously we were going in about 5 minutes or less and I didn't have much say in it so I had to ask just one more question.
"Why Detroit?" I asked firmly, embracing myself for an answer that was most likely completely irrelevant.
"Because that's where my new job is, and our new home will be!" Gayle shrieked with a fiery squeal. "I got a job for a movie company there! We're going to be rich!" Gayle said even louder. "Go get ready! Hurry! Hurry!" She yelled while pushing me in my room to gather stuff I might want.
I glanced around my tiny room and new the two things I wanted to take already. My journal, and my stuffed rabbit. I always took my journal with me on trips, but the rabbit played more importance to me than the book. My Mom had given it to me and I always slept with it in memory of my parents. I refused to go on any over night trips without it.
With my possessions in hand, all two of them, I set out for the car that Ray and Gayle were already in. The started it up and went flying away, down the road and to the freeway. I can't believe I was actually taking a random trip to Detroit. What I seriously didn't believe is that we were moving there. I just couldn't believe that and refused to believe that; I couldn't leave Jorrie behind.
I got to thinking about Jorrie more and more. I picked up my Journal, took out the pink pen in it and started writing in it.
Fiesel's Journal
4-22-09
I can't pull myself together. All I can think about it how much Jorrie is better than me. I know she wouldn't want me to think that but it's way too hard not to. I don't know why but I feel like Jorrie really isn't my friend and she never has been. I feel like she's just one of the other kids who really don't like me. But she's just nice about it unlike the rest of them.
She has everything. She's rich. She has good parents. And she's so nice too. Why can't I be like her? I sure wish I could.
I wonder what Jorrie really thinks about me I wonder what she says about me behind my back. I'm sure she says something. Everybody does some time or another.
Jorrie is just the perfect girl. She's good at everything she does and everybody loves her. She doesn't let people down and she treats everybody so well. I wish I could be a perfect girl like her.
It would be great to have a perfect image, ac perfectly, and be a perfect girl. I guess I'll never know what that's like though. She's never let me down.
I don't supp—
My wrist stopped. The car had paused in motion and was stopped at a gas station along the highway. Gayle and Ray got out of the car and went inside urgently, probably using the restroom. I decided I might as well go inside too. Look for a snack or something. I walked into the surprisingly nice gas station. Everything was neat and well organized and very much unlike the other gas stations I had been in. I walked over to the candy aisle. Mindlessly I started browsing through the sweets, picking the ones I would ask for, finding the ones that looking bad. The aisle itself was massive, and thus it was very difficult to sort through all of my options. I finally put three in my hands and went to find Gayle to buy them. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't even ask because I know she would just say "I don't have the money," but since she claims we'll be rich, I think she can afford to give my three dollars and fifty cents worth of sugar. I saw Gayle and Ray at the checkout stand and went to approach them.
That is where it happened.
Gayle and Ray, with some alcohol in their grasp, started laughing loudly and ran out the front door after handing the clerk a twenty and not even bothering to collect their change. I quickly dropped what I was holding and ran to the glass door. I peered out the window to see Ray starting the car and Gayle already taking a swig of her purchase. As quickly as they came, Ray and Gayle started driving off in the same direction. I ran outside and started shouting at them, desperate, but aware of the fact that they would never hear me. I turned around, looking towards town and saw a road sign that said how far town was from there. It was then that I realized how much of idiots those too were when I saw how far I away I really was.
I couldn't believe what just happened. Gayle and Ray drove off with out me. Did they forget me? Did they to this intentionally? They had my journal, and they also had my stuffed bunny.
I sat in a corner away from the view of the single employee. I was just abandoned in gas station:
14 miles out of town.