Title: In Memory's Wake
Author: Cocoa-Snape (aka CocoaSnape)
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Disclaimer: No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warnings for Slash content
This chapter is mildly censored. Full text available on Skyehawke and my LJ. Enjoy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
In Memory's Wake by CocoaSnape
Chapter 5: Convoluted codes
After having spent a couple of exhausting hours at Quidditch practice, Harry entered the castle with his two best friends. The big game against Slytherin was only two days away and as Captain of the Gryffindor team, Harry had called for an extra practice session this Friday evening.
"So I guess you'll be heading down to the dungeons now?" Ron asked, not even trying to hide his annoyance at the prospect. Harry had become accustomed to Ron's irritation at him spending his weekday evenings, particularly Fridays, with Severus instead of him.
"Yeah, Ron. But I'm hanging out with you all day tomorrow," Harry replied consolingly. "First practice and then Hogsmeade, right?"
"Yeah, I guess that'll be fun. I just hope we win Sunday."
"Oh, we'll win. Don't you worry. Cruxley has nothing on you," Harry said, referring to the Slytherin seeker.
The trio halted as they came upon the corridor leading toward the hospital wing where Harry was to part ways with them so that he could Floo to Severus's quarters.
Harry opened his mouth to say goodbye, but Hermione spoke first, "I'll come with you, Harry, if that's alright."
"Oh for Merlin's sake," Ron sighed irritably. "You're practically living down there too now!"
"I am not!"
Harry suppressed a smile. Ever since their dinner together where she had discovered the wonders of Severus's library, Hermione had been down in the dungeons with increasing frequency over the past two weeks. She'd fawned over his collection of rare books to no end. But truth be told, Hermione had found something far more precious than a room filled with unread texts. Suddenly she had at her disposal one of the brightest scholars of the day – a resource she could have never tapped with Severus being 'Snape-the-evil-git.' Unsurprisingly, her delight at this was boundless and she certainly was availing herself of the opportunity to ask Severus questions about every topic ranging from Potions to Arithmancy. Nothing odd about that at all. What was odd, Harry reflected, was that Severus didn't seem to mind. That he, in fact, appeared to take silent delight in Hermione's inquisitiveness. And Harry couldn't have been happier to see the growing 'friendship' – dare he call it – between one of his best friends and his lover.
"Ron, stop being ridiculous," Hermione continued calmly. "I just need to return these books and ask Professor Snape if I can borrow a few more."
"What is up with you two?" Ron snapped angrily. Turning to Hermione he said, "You're in love with Snape's big library," and turning to Harry, he finished, "and you're in love with his big…oh effing hell! I did not just think that."
Hermione began to giggle. "Well, I can't speak for Harry," she said nudging him playfully, "but it's more than his library. Professor Snape's helped me narrow down my final research project for Arithmancy in just a few days and he's been giving me career advice on―"
"Hold it right there," Ron interrupted. "You were asking Snape for career advice!?"
"Yes, for your information, I was. And he's been very helpful; told me that Stockholm and Brisbane should be at the top of my list for Mastery programs."
"I thought McGonagall already told you that?"
"Yes, but it's nice to have a second opinion. Besides, I need all the help I can get to figure out if I should pursue Arithmancy or Runes."
"He's a Potions Master. What would he know about that?" Ron asked in disbelief.
"A great deal, Ron. Professor Snape is remarkably well read on the current research in both fields. He's quite amazing, really," she added a bit wistfully. "I just read his most recent publication in the Proceedings of the International Academy of Potions…it's revolutionary." Harry stared in fascination as Hermione recited Severus's scholarly achievements, many of which he himself was not aware of.
By the end of her speech, Ron was looking positively livid and Harry couldn't suppress his amusement.
"Geez, Hermione," Harry teased, "if I didn't know any better I'd say you fancied Severus." A quick glance at Ron's expression told Harry that his friend did not share in the hilarity of his joke. Instead, he seemed to be grumbling something unintelligible under his breath.
Sensing Ron was feeling more than a little left out, Harry suggested, "Why don't you come down for a bit and have a drink? I'm sure Severus wouldn't mind." Harry knew that was probably not true, but he'd have to deal with it.
But Ron seemed completely horrified by the idea. "Oh, no way! You must think I'm as barmy as you two. No, you two go off and have your fun." And with that, Ron marched away in a furious huff.
"Ron! Ron!?" Harry shouted, trying to call after his best friend.
Hermione grabbed his arm and directed him down the corridor towards the Hospital Wing. "Don't mind him, Harry. He's being an utter arse."
"What is his problem all of a sudden? I've been spending the past several weeks with Severus and he hasn't been this bad about it."
"He's not angry at you, Harry. I mean, he is, but he's really much more angry with me."
"Because you're spending so much time in Severus's library?" Harry asked in confusion.
"Well, that…and I suppose I have been going on about how wonderful Professor Snape is and…"
"No, really?" Harry asked with heavy sarcasm. These days, it seemed Hermione raved more about Severus than he did. Taking a handful of Floo powder, Harry stepped into the fireplace and said, "I'll go first and let you through the wards."
A few moments later they were both in Severus's sitting room and Hermione took the seat Harry offered her. "Looks like Severus isn't back from the faculty meeting yet. You want something to drink?" Harry asked, pouring himself a glass of juice.
"No thanks."
"So you think Ron's annoyed you're not against Severus? One less person to convince me to leave him, is that it?"
"Maybe that's part of it. But I think this has less to do with you and more with me."
"I don't get it."
"I think maybe your comment earlier hit a little too close to home. I think maybe Ron's, well… jealous."
"Jealous? Of Severus?" Harry asked incredulously.
"Yes."
Harry nearly choked on his pumpkin juice.
"I can sort of understand why," Hermione continued. "I've been down here nearly every night or so getting books and I've been on about how helpful and brilliant and wonderful he is…"
"Ron thinks you have the hots for Severus?" Harry asked, his eyes bulging now.
"I don't know if I would go that far, but basically yes."
"Just because you've been down here so much lately?" Harry couldn't quite wrap his brain around this. He knew without question, however, there was no truth in this whatsoever. Ron was just being Ron again, jumping to insane conclusions in order to explain Hermione's behaviour. But only Ron could believe such utter nonsense.
"Well, I suppose it all started when I was defending your choice of him as a partner…and I guess I might have mentioned that he was an attractive man."
"Oh. Ron must have loved that!"
"Right. I suppose that rather pissed him off. And then from nowhere he brought up that comment I made a few months ago about how I could imagine Professor Snape having sex. Do you remember that?"
"Oh yes!" Harry said, now laughing heartily at Hermione's predicament and Ron's ridiculous assumptions. "I remember that very well."
"Do you?" a dark voice drawled.
Hermione blushed the moment she caught sight of Snape standing in the doorway of his quarters. Bolting up from the sofa, she made to leave.
"Don't go on my account, Miss Granger. Please sit."
Snape walked over to the sofa and took a seat next to Harry. To Harry's surprise, Severus leaned over and kissed him on the lips in greeting. It was chaste, but Harry tensed nonetheless - it was the first time he'd ever kissed Severus in front of anyone else, but he found, after a moment, that he was not uncomfortable by the prospect.
Hermione, on the other hand, seemed to find it difficult to know where she should direct her eyes, and her face was now a deep shade of crimson.
Snape broke the kiss and continued speaking as if nothing out of the ordinary had transpired. "It seems I've interrupted a rather fascinating conversation. Please continue."
Sensing Hermione was still too flummoxed to speak, Harry began, "Well, this was in October, I think. Ron said something nasty about you…"
"How unexpected," Snape interjected dryly.
"And then 'Mione mentioned you having attractive hands and I started to think about them and then…" Harry stopped as a thought suddenly occurred to him. "You know, come to think of it, that's about the time I started obsessing about your body."
"Well then, Miss Granger," Snape said with a spark in his eye, "it seems I owe you a debt of gratitude."
"Oh. Uh, thanks." Unsure of what else to say, Hermione glanced about the room and spotted Severus's Pensieve lying on his desk. With a distinct lack of subtly, she changed the topic, "I've been meaning to ask you about the Runes on your Pensieve, Professor."
"I've just begun the rather tedious process of deciphering them, Miss Granger. Their meaning will likely prove critical in the brewing process for the Pensieve amalgam."
"Really? That sounds fascinating," Hermione replied with sincere reverence.
Snape seemed deep in thought for a long moment before he added, "In fact, I could use some help in the matter. Runes was never my favorite field. And besides, I'm rather curious to know if Minerva and Bathsheba have been exaggerating your aptitude in the subject."
Hermione blushed. "I'm not that good at it," she replied modestly. "But I am flattered you'd permit me the opportunity, Professor. I'd love to help in any way I can."
Snape made his way towards his library. "Well then, I can pull some texts for you to begin reading. Perhaps we can meet in a few days to discuss what you've unearthed…"
Harry interrupted, "While you two ransack the library, I'm going to take a shower. I'll see you tomorrow, 'Mione."
"Goodnight, Harry."
-
-
--------------------------------------------------
-
-
Harry showered quickly. He was looking forward to spending the evening with Severus.
His thoughts centered wholly on the kiss his lover had given him earlier in the sitting room in front of Hermione. It had taken him completely by surprise. An intense thrill rushed through Harry's body as he remembered the details of it, the rich warmth that bloomed in his chest at that simple, yet ultimate sign of Severus's love. It struck Harry at that moment, something he'd known before of course, but suddenly it was very clear to him. He belonged to Severus. And he didn't mind one bit for others to know it. No. He wanted everyone to know it.
What shocked Harry the most about the kiss, however, was that Severus hadn't felt shy about the public display of affection. Harry knew all too well that Severus was a deeply private man who did not like to share or display his emotions. To Harry, the fact that Severus had kissed him in front of another was a definitive statement of his confidence in their relationship and in their future together. Given all that they'd gone through over the past months, little could have given Harry greater joy.
So much so that Harry barely restrained himself from wanking right then and there. But ultimately he decided he'd enjoy himself much more if he saved his growing erection for Severus.
So when Harry entered the sitting room clad only his bathrobe, he was more than a little disappointed to find that Hermione was still there. And still going strong about the Runes on the Pensieve and how they might influence the chemical formula of the potions Severus was to brew. As she disappeared into the library, Harry made his presence known to his lover.
Harry could see Severus's gaze dropped almost immediately between his legs. With that dark tinge to his voice that never failed to drive Harry wild, Severus uttered softly, "Is that for me?"
Hearing Hermione coming out of the library, Harry hurriedly took a seat in an effort to conceal his arousal.
"I know just where to begin, Professor," she said, exiting with an armful of books and beginning to open them. "Oh hi, Harry."
Hermione was a perceptive girl, and the right look from Harry – his eyebrows raised through his forehead and then a slight nod of his head towards the door – told her all she needed to know.
"Oh!" she said in realization and sudden unease. "Oh! You know, Professor, I just realized, I really have to be getting back to Gryffindor Tower ," she said, flustered, looking at Snape, "I'll just…I'll just take these with me. Goodnight, Professor, Harry." With that, Hermione rushed out of the room in a flash.
"Not a very subtle dismissal," Snape observed dryly.
"Are you sorry?" Harry asked with a knowing smile as he made his way over to his lover.
"Not in the least…not with that look in your eye. Have something in mind, do you?"
"You must be a mind reader," Harry said, causing the corners of Severus's mouth to twitch in amusement.
He pulled Harry roughly to him and pressed their lips together. Harry melted into the almost predatory kiss, and his arousal surged as he relived the memory of the kiss they shared earlier that evening.
Severus pulled away for the briefest of moments and whispered against the shell of Harry's ear, "You know, I'd rather hear you ask for it."
"Gods, Severus, please…" Harry panted as the older man assaulted his neck with kisses and skillfully began to stroke his burning erection underneath his robe, "…oh god…please…just…take me."
"Right here?" Severus asked in mock astonishment, as if they'd never had sex in the living room before.
"Yes, damn it! Right here," Harry demanded in frustration, tugging off his robe and sprawling out on the thick wool rug in front of the hearth.
"My, my…we are a bit overenthusiastic, aren't we?" Severus drawled with a leer on his face. The older man took the briefest of moments to admire the picture of Harry lying naked on the rug – for him – and although he'd intended to torture the boy a bit longer, his own aching arousal argued fiercely against it. He found himself undressing at top speed.
"Looks like I'm not the only one," Harry replied smugly.
"Oh, you impertinent little thing. I'll make you pay for that," Severus promised, his eyes fiery with desire.
"Oh please do…please make me pay for it," the younger man all but whined.
Severus's smile made Harry's heart skip a beat. And before he was even aware of what was happening, Severus had leaned down and swallowed him whole. Harry sucked in a deep breath and found himself inexplicably unable to make a single sound as he bucked into the sudden wet heat. Dear Merlin, Severus was a master at this. And then Harry could feel slick fingers moving lower.
He felt that incredible burst of pleasure as Severus hit his prostate, and now those fingers he'd fantasized about for months and months before he'd ever felt them on his skin were working with exquisite precision, inflaming his need to the point of pain. Harry was aware that he was begging, but he couldn't have, for the life of him, told anyone what he was saying.
"Want something, do you?" Severus purred, his expression the epitome of control.
Harry took a moment to breathe and attempt a coherent thought before whispering, "I want you to fuck me until I can't walk tomorrow."
Severus's eyes flickered darkly in reply.
Oh how Harry loved that! How quickly he could make Severus's control melt away by saying the right thing. How it was his words that could crumble Severus's calm demeanor, revealing the unrestrained lust beneath.
Severus did not wait another second. He couldn't. He grabbed both of Harry's wrists, pinned them over his head and entered Harry in one swift stroke.
Harry moaned at the sudden sensation of fullness. So absolute, so perfect – just what he needed. There was nothing better than this, nothing better than Severus inside him – making him his.
Harry knew Severus could make this last an eternity if he wanted – he'd done that their first time making love. It had been exquisite – the slow, drawn out release of their love, a refined gentle dance. But, in this moment, Harry wanted quite the opposite.
He wanted to feel Severus's desperation, to feel his lover's urgent grunts as he got closer, to feel Severus's thrusts become ever more erratic as he lost all control. To see the way Severus's face screwed up in concentration as the pressure became too much to bear, the way his eyes closed just before he climaxed, that incredible look on his face when he finally found his release. And Harry's favorite thing: just after Severus's orgasm, the way Severus would whisper his name in the most reverent of ways (sometimes too quietly to be discernable).
Just the thought of that impending moment brought Harry right to the edge.
"Tell me…" Harry pleaded, groaning loudly as Severus hit his prostate again and again and again. "Oh god…please say it…"
Severus didn't need to ask what it was that Harry wanted to hear, needed to hear as he pounded into his young lover. "You're mine, Harry…all mine," Severus panted as Harry whimpered in pleasure beneath him, "…and I'm never…going…to let you go. Never."
Severus reached between their slick bodies and wrapped his hand firmly around Harry's aching erection. It took only a few firm strokes and the whispered words, "My Harry…" before the dark-haired young man was shuddering his release. Severus was not far behind, his orgasm overtaking him as Harry's muscles clenched around him.
As Severus collapsed on top of him, Harry smiled into Severus's shoulder as he heard his lover whisper his name under his breath.
A minute later, and with a monumental effort, Severus rolled off of Harry, summoned a blanket from the bedroom and covered both of them with it.
Still reveling in their post-coital bliss, Harry turned over onto his side and wrapped his arms around Severus. In response, Severus immediately winced in pain.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked at once.
The briefest glimpse of terror in Severus's eyes said it all. Not a moment later, it was gone again, replaced with the calm façade that Harry was so accustomed to. But Harry knew exactly what it meant; Severus's Dark Mark was burning into his arm. Voldemort was summoning him.
"I'll wait for you," Harry said, concern etched into his face as he tried to quell the dread rising in his gut.
"I may be all night, Harry," Severus replied as he got up and began to dress quickly.
"I don't care."
"I do. It's early yet. You should go back to Gryffindor Tower and socialize with your friends."
It was said mildly, as if it were a suggestion. But as Severus pulled his Death Eater robes out from the trunk where he kept them, Harry knew an order when he heard one. And Harry was conscious of the fact that now was not perhaps the appropriate time to argue with Severus.
"I love you," Harry said, giving Severus a quick hug. He knew Severus would not wish to be distracted by sentimental goodbyes at a time like this.
To Harry's surprise, Severus stopped what he was doing, took Harry's face in his hands, gave him a kiss and said, "I love you too." With that, he headed swiftly for the door.
-
-
--------------------------------------------------
-
-
Despite his better judgment, Harry had followed Severus's request and gone up to Gryffindor Tower. After a few torturous minutes of pretending to listen to his friends' conversations about Quidditch, he'd excused himself and gone up to bed. Lying there in the darkness, he was wracked with anxiety about Severus. He hated this waiting. Last time, Severus hadn't told him when he'd been summoned. Last time. That was a reassuring thought. Severus had gone to Voldemort two times before in the last two months without incident.
As that reassuring thought occurred to him, Harry felt the amulet on his neck grow unusually warm. The sensation was not at all a comfortable one, leaving Harry with an intense feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know how, but somehow Harry knew that all was not well with Severus. Quickly donning his robes, Harry snuck back down to the dungeons under the cover of his Invisibility Cloak and waited for Severus to return.
-
-
--------------------------------------------------
-
-
It was two hours before the door to Severus's quarters opened. Harry was on his feet in an instant and his brain pounded in a mixture of relief that Severus was back and concern for his condition. Severus stumbled into the sitting room a moment later, vehemently rejecting the assistance being proffered him by the Headmaster, who was following immediately behind.
"Severus, for Merlin's sake, let me help you," Dumbledore said.
"I'm fine, Albus," Snape insisted even as his face grimaced with each step he took. It was immediately clear to Harry that Severus had been subjected to the Cruciatus curse – his eyes were horribly bloodshot, his face was incredibly pale, and he hobbled in a way that left no doubt that his back muscles had been twisted in agony.
Snape stopped abruptly when he noticed Harry's presence. "What are you doing here?" The question was not posed kindly, but it roused Harry from his frozen state nonetheless. He rushed immediately to Severus's side.
"I could tell you were hurt. I had to come."
Snape did not look pleased by this news. He took a seat on the sofa, and with a look of consternation asked, "You had another dream?"
"No. I could just feel it," Harry said, lifting the amulet from his chest.
"I shall have to adjust those charms then. It is obviously too sensitive," Snape grumbled.
Harry placed a pillow behind Severus's back, which only caused the man to grouse, "For Merlin's sake, both of you need to stop fussing!"
"What happened?" Harry asked.
"Nothing that concerns you," Severus replied immediately. "Now, the Headmaster and I have some things to discuss and you need to go back to Gryffindor Tower."
"No."
"Harry, we've discussed this," Snape said firmly. "This is the one part of my life I cannot have you involved in."
"I know you have a rule or whatever about Order business, but you're hurt and I want to know why."
Sensing the growing tension between the two men, Dumbledore attempted to mediate the situation. "Perhaps, Severus, it would be better if I left. We can discuss this tomorrow when you are rested and feeling better and―"
"No, Albus. We're going to discuss it now," Snape said adamantly.
"Alright. Then perhaps it wouldn't hurt if Harry stayed." Before Severus could argue the point, Dumbledore turned his attention to Harry and added, "Just this one time, of course."
Severus sighed in resignation. He seemed too tired to argue. "Fine."
"I'll get your potions," Harry offered quickly, before Severus could change his mind. He made his way to the cabinet in the far corner of the room to fetch Severus's potions, while listening intently to the conversation between the two men.
"He was not thrilled with me…obviously," Snape said, gesturing to his abused body. "He's livid that so many raids are failing of late. And he doesn't understand how the Order seems to be one step ahead of him at every turn."
"And he took his frustrations out on you."
"Not only me, I assure you." A pause. "Yet and still…he's planned another raid in two days, this one on the Muggle Ambassador."
"That's quite an ambitious target," Dumbledore said with raised eyebrows.
"Yes, especially given the high profile failures of late."
Harry could see Dumbledore studying Severus very carefully before the elder wizard finally asked, "What are you thinking, Severus?"
Severus's next words came out slowly. "Given the significance of the target, I can't help but think all is not what it seems, Albus."
As comprehension dawned on Dumbledore's face, his expression became grave at once. "You believe it's a ruse to flush out the leak?"
When Harry spoke, both men looked up at him as thought they'd forgotten he was there. "You're saying that Vol…I mean, he's making up this raid thing as bait? To see if you'll tell Professor Dumbledore and the Order about it?"
Despite Severus not wanting Harry to be privy to this conversation, he couldn't help but be impressed by Harry's perceptiveness. "It is a possibility…" Snape answered tentatively, with a composure that contrasted the panic-stricken look on Harry's face and the disturbed grimace on Dumbledore's.
"Calm down, both of you," Snape reprimanded. "If he knew it was me, I would not have left there tonight."
"But he used the Cruciatus on you," Harry argued.
"Not just on me. And honestly, I'm surprised it's taken him this long. I haven't given him a good piece of information in months. And it certainly doesn't help that Lucius is constantly whispering in the Dark Lord's ear about me."
"We will have to give him something," Dumbledore said.
"I don't think anything small will work this time, Albus," Snape replied dejectedly.
"I quite agree, my boy. It will have to be something of consequence."
"What could we possibly give him that won't compromise the Order?"
"Let me have a long think and we can discuss this tomorrow."
"Albus, this can't wait―"
"I'll be down first thing in the morning and we can hash out some ideas together," Dumbledore reassured him. "For now, I will leave you to rest and in Harry's very capable hands. Goodnight, my boys."
"Goodnight, Professor," Harry replied. Once Dumbledore was gone, Harry said, "Let's get you into bed."
Predictably, Snape grumbled all the way there and after giving Severus the requisite potions, Harry settled in bed next to his lover.
"Thank you for letting me stay, Severus," Harry whispered as he cast a heating charm on Severus's back. Harry knew that Severus was not at all pleased at his insistence to stay and the last thing he wanted was for Severus to be angry with him.
"Yes well," Snape replied, much more kindly than Harry had anticipated, "I believe I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm not immune to your powers of persuasion."
A pause. "Is that your convoluted code for 'I love you'?" Harry asked in amusement.
Severus smirked as he replied, "A spy never reveals his codes."
-
------------------------------------------------------
Author's Note: Thank you again for your overwhelming response to the previous chapters and for taking the time to comment/review. It is much appreciated.
Big thanks to my incredible two betas: Molvanian Queen-In-Exile and Ketsurui.
Feedback is always desired.