Title: In Memory's Wake
Author: Cocoa-Snape (aka CocoaSnape)
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Disclaimer: No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
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Warnings for Slash content
This chapter is very mildly censored (to the point of being unnoticeable). Full text (is as always) available on Skyehawke and my LJ. Enjoy.
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In Memory's Wake by CocoaSnape
Chapter 7: Nothing of Greater Importance
"You're awfully quiet this morning, Severus," came the all too perceptive comment from Dumbledore.
"Oh?" Snape replied, stunned from his reverie by his long time employer and friend. "I was just thinking."
"Are you, by chance, somehow doubting your success last night?"
"No," Snape responded, then paused for a long moment as though he were about to change his mind, before finally saying, "No, that's not it."
A long moment of silence passed between them before the elder wizard asked, "Tell me what it is that has you so worried, dear boy."
"Nothing."
"Ah, of course. That does explain that worried look on your face."
"It's not important, Albus," Snape replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"Perhaps you're right," Dumbledore agreed. "But do indulge an old man, won't you?"
Snape inhaled deeply before beginning. "It's just… I had expected to be called late last night or perhaps early this morning and…" Snape paused.
Dumbledore continued helpfully, "And you're concerned that perhaps Voldemort was not convinced of your loyalty during your charade last night?"
Snape shook his head. "No. I'm certain he was more than convinced."
Dumbledore took a sip of his tea and delicately placed the cup back on the saucer. He leaned forward in his chair and began gently, "Perhaps, Severus, you're less concerned about having not been summoned, than you are anxious about the fact that you know you will be called in the very near future."
"Don't be absurd, Albus," came Snape's far too rapid reply.
"There's no shame in being apprehensive. You do seem rather preoccupied this morning."
"I'm not," Snape denied just as he added a pat of butter to his tea. "Damn it!"
"Here, I'll get you a fresh cup." Dumbledore raised his hand to do just that, but Snape stopped him.
"I don't want anymore damn tea," he snapped.
"As you wish," Dumbledore replied evenly.
The silence that stretched between the two men was a long one, the longest of the morning. But neither felt uncomfortable – they'd been friends for a long time after all, and there was rarely any unease between them. After Dumbledore cleared away the long forgotten breakfast, he whispered, "I know exactly what you need, Severus."
"Oh?"
"A pot of your favorite tea and a friendly game of chess." A wave of his hand made both objects appear, the chess board already set.
"Is that right?" Snape asked dubiously.
"Although I must warn you," Dumbledore added with a mischievous glint in his eye. And with almost a completely straight face, Dumbledore finished, "I'm going to kick your arse."
Snape couldn't help but laugh out loud. He rarely heard such words from his friend. Snape leaned forward, grabbed a pawn and made the first move. "Not today, Albus. Not today."
"That's the spirit, my boy." Dumbledore beamed.
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Exhausted from a full day of classes, the Gryffindor trio made their way down the main hall of Hogwarts in the direction of their common room. But a notice posted on the main bulletin board caught Ron's attention and stopped him in his tracks.
"They're finally here!"
"What are?" Harry asked.
"The Auror applications, of course," Ron replied, while grabbing two off the board. "What do you say we fill these out tonight?"
Harry cringed. He thought he'd been dropping enough hints to Ron that going to the Auror Academy was not what he wanted to do next year, or for that matter, ever. But now it was apparent that his attempts had been far too subtle. He glanced over at Hermione, who having obviously gotten his message, responded with a sympathetic smile.
Harry looked around. The frigid February air had left the courtyard outside deserted and so he directed his friends outside for some privacy. Harry began carefully, "Ron, I'm not applying to the Auror Academy."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not for me."
"What are you on about? Of course it is. We've been talking about it since fifth year."
"You've been talking about it. I mean, of course I was interested back then too, but things have changed."
Ron looked around before whispering angrily, "This is 'bout him again, isn't it?"
"No," Harry replied at once, but then guiltily added, "Well, sort of, but not in the way you think."
Ron rolled his eyes.
"Ron," Hermione interjected, "you should hear Harry out."
"You're always on about how you have to learn to defeat Voldemort," Ron reasoned. "I mean, don't you think the Academy is going to teach you the things you need to do that?"
"That's what I'm having lessons with Severus for."
"Oh, some lessons they are, I'm sure," Ron mocked.
"Yeah, they are," Harry snapped. "And according to Severus, I'm already doing magic that's way beyond what they'd ever teach me in Auror Academy. He says that's a waste of time for me."
"Oh, he does, does he?" Ron said, crossing his arms in front of him.
Harry sighed. "A waste of time for me, Ron."
"So this does have to do with him then!"
"My not wanting to become an Auror doesn't. I haven't wanted that for a long time," Harry said.
"Why not?"
"If I do ever manage to kill Voldemort, do you really think I'd want to spend the rest of my life hunting dark wizards?"
Ron stared at Harry, clearly not understanding why his friend wouldn't want to do just that. "So then, where exactly will you stay?"
"Here," Harry replied. "I'm going to live with Severus."
"That's it for you then?" Ron snapped angrily. "You're just gonna stay here and be his rent boy?"
Without warning, Ron felt his head fly violently to the side and the sharp sting on his left cheek where he'd been cuffed. The redhead was stunned, but even more so when he looked up and saw that it was Hermione, not Harry, who had struck him.
Harry was too upset to speak. Ron's words were ringing in his ears and he felt tears welling up in his eyes at what his friend, his best friend, had just said. Without a word, he ran inside and down the corridor.
With a vicious calm, Hermione rounded on Ron, "I wouldn't blame him if he never forgives you for that."
"Hermione, I didn't mean…"
Ron never got the chance to finish his sentence. Hermione was already on her way toward the common room.
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By the time Harry made it down to the dungeons, the tears that had once threatened to spill from his eyes were dry and all traces of sadness at Ron's words with them. The emotion overwhelming the young man at this moment was anger, rage that the person he thought was his best friend would ever say, would ever think something like that about him.
As Harry entered Severus's quarters, he violently threw his book bag across the room, cursing, "Arsehole!"
"I certainly hope you're not referring to me," Severus said, peeking around the sofa.
Harry grunted something under his breath.
"What's got your broom in a knot?" Severus asked.
"I don't need your sarcasm at the moment," Harry snapped.
Snape stared wide-eyed at the brashness of his young lover before beginning levelly, "Perhaps you should calm down and tell me what's the matter."
"I'm not in the mood for company," Harry snapped. And without another word, he grabbed his Firebolt from the closet and headed off for the pitch.
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Harry realized almost at once that he'd left his snitch in his room in Gryffindor Tower. Finding himself in the mood for some daredevil flying maneuvers, and confident most everyone was at dinner, he decided to retrieve it.
But on the way down the stairs from his room, he saw that both Ron and Hermione had returned from dinner and were in the common room. Anxious to escape Ron's presence, Harry donned his Invisibility cloak.
He planned to follow Dean out the door, but stopped short. Ron and Hermione were talking but their voices could not be heard. Curious, Harry stepped inside the circle of their privacy charms.
"Ron," Hermione lectured, "I'm not sure if you understand how horrible you were. You just better hope that Harry will accept your apology."
"He called being an Auror stupid," Ron retorted.
"He did no such thing, and even if he did, it wouldn't compare to what you said to him."
Noticing the pile of books at Hermione's feet, Ron rounded on her, "And when did you get those?"
"Yesterday, not that it's any of your business."
"It is my business," Ron asserted. "I'm sick of this 'special project' you're working on with Snape."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means I don't want you seeing him anymore."
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked incensed. "Who exactly do you think you are? What gives you the right to tell me who I can and can't see?"
Ron looked flummoxed by the question. "I…I…" Ron paused for a long moment and then continued, "I just think Harry needs to get over this obsession he has with Snape."
Harry grit his teeth and barely resisted the urge to fling himself at Ron. He couldn't believe Ron was still saying these things. Apparently, neither could Hermione.
"Back to this again? For heaven's sake, Ron, it's not an obsession. Besides, Professor Snape is good for Harry."
"Yeah right."
"It's true. He's doing outstanding in all his classes."
"That's all that matters to you? His marks?"
"That's not all of it, Ron! If you spent any time with Harry while he's with Professor Snape, you'd understand. Harry's happy… in a way I've never seen him before. When are you going to let go and see that? You're the selfish one, Ron. You can't get over the fact that Harry's fallen in love and that he's spending all his time with someone other than you."
"It has nothing to do with that."
"Then what does it have to do with?" Hermione asked skeptically.
Ron was silent for a long moment. When he finally spoke, he seemed almost choked up as he violently asserted, "That git's going to break Harry's heart! You watch."
Hermione seemed stunned by this sudden emotion from Ron. Harry found himself equally shocked.
Ron continued yet more vehemently, "You don't think I know Harry loves him? Trust me, I know. I don't want to see him go through losing all that again – first with his parents, then Sirius… It's gonna tear him up. He shouldn't have to go through that again!"
Hermione eyed Ron in silent shock, unable to quite fathom the complexity of his concern for Harry. "Ron," she began in a soft tone, "that's...I'd say sweet if you hadn't been such an arse earlier. I mean, you're right in a way, of course. It is possible that Professor Snape will break Harry's heart. It's also possible that the reverse might happen." Hermione looked at Ron intently, and her tone changed as she added significantly, "That's what happens when you put yourself out there. There's always that risk when it comes to relationships. But if you don't try, if you're too afraid of being rejected, then you'll never get the chance to find out if you're missing something because of fear."
Ron seemed to be thinking heavily. After a long pause, he asked, "Are we still talking about Harry?"
Hermione looked surprised – she hadn't expected Ron to understand. "Yes and no." A pause. "Ron, your concerns are sweet. Even though I know very well that your attitude has more to do with the fact that you don't like Professor Snape."
"I already told you I thought Snape was an evil git. That's my point – he's going to break Harry's heart."
"I don't believe that's going to happen."
"And how would you know? You're just saying that because that's what Harry's convinced you of. And you're so sentimental, you want to believe him. For all we know, this could be some big game to Snape or maybe just some short-term fling for him."
"It's more than that," Hermione asserted. "You should see them together – it's…there's something there, Ron, and I'm not imagining it. It's like they're meant to be together."
Ron said nothing to that.
Hermione urged, "You should apologize to Harry for what you said."
"I will."
"Apology accepted," Harry said, pulling off the cloak. "As long as you accept mine for eavesdropping, that is."
As Ron's shock faded, he found his voice and said, "Yeah, mate, sure. I am sorry for being such a git."
"And I'm sorry Hermione slapped you," Harry replied.
"I'm not," Hermione interjected with a half serious smile.
Ron rubbed the side of his jaw. "She packs quite a bit of power with that."
"And knowing Hermione, you're still surprised?" Harry asked with a chuckle.
"Well, you two better excuse me," Hermione said. "I have to return these books. I'll see you both later."
After Hermione left the common room, Ron began hesitantly, "Listen, mate, I didn't really mean what I said before----"
"Yes you did."
"Well, you know I'm not fond of this thing with you and Snape. But I didn't mean to imply… well, it's just that I was just thinking it'd be the two of us again, you know, in Auror training. Like old times."
"Ron," Harry began reassuringly, "We'll always be friends, no matter what. My being with Severus isn't going to change that."
"Promise?"
"Promise," Harry replied, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder. "But it would be nice if you at least tried to respect my relationship with Severus."
With a reluctant sigh, Ron agreed, "I'll try, mate."
"Hey, I was just about to go out to the pitch. Want to join me?"
Ron's eyes lit up with glee. "Wicked! Let's go."
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"I'm sorry to disturb you, sir," Hermione said, "I was just returning these books. I thought you'd be at dinner."
"Not a problem, Miss Granger. As I said before, you are welcome to my library anytime."
"I've made a bit of headway into the Runes on your Pensieve, Professor. But I think I should review some more texts on glyphic Rune symbology before I can be certain of my claims."
"Hmm," Snape began thoughtfully as he entered the library and searched one shelf in particular. "I believe Lakin's treatise would be a good place to start," he finished, handing her the text.
"Thank you, sir," Hermione said, clutching the book excitedly. "Perhaps we can meet in a few days to discuss my ideas, then?"
"I would be delighted to hear your findings and I do appreciate your help, Miss Granger."
"Not at all, Professor. This has been one of the most exciting projects I've ever worked on."
"Given my fondness for Ancient Runes, I find myself very glad indeed to have your assistance, Miss Granger."
"Sir," Hermione began hesitantly, "you can call me Hermione, you know."
Snape tensed visibly and Hermione could tell at once that she had overstepped. She tried to backpedal. "I mean, only if you want, of course. Or perhaps you'd rather wait till the end of the year until I'm not your student. After all, eventually you'll probably want to call me Hermione. I mean, it'd be rather silly if you called me Miss Granger forever now, wouldn't it?"
Snape was nothing short of astonished. Forever? She actually believed he and Harry would be together that long?
At Snape's lack of response, Hermione continued, "Or not. I'm fine with Miss Granger if that's what you prefer, sir."
"Forgive my silence, but I find myself surprised. I know you may not be precisely opposed to Harry's relationship with me, but I must admit my amazementthat your approval seems so… unreserved."
"Why wouldn't it be, sir? I mean, I don't imagine this is some sort of fling – for either of you," Hermione replied.
Snape's mouth quirked in amusement. "And pray tell what has made you arrive at that conclusion?"
Hermione couldn't believe how far she'd managed to wedge her foot in her mouth. Now she was left having to explain. "Well, first of all, Harry wouldn't have put himself through all this trouble telling me and Ron if it were and secondly…" At this, she paused, too embarrassed to say that she could tell Harry was head over heels in love.
"And secondly?" Snape prodded.
"Oh nothing, just…" Hermione couldn't help but blush. "Just I can tell that Harry's fond of you, more than fond, and well, you seem…" She stopped. Was she really about to tell Professor Snape that she thought he was equally fond of Harry? She must have lost her mind.
"And I seem, what?" Snape asked, smirking at her predicament.
"Nothing, never mind. Anyway, Professor, that's my treatise on why you should call me Hermione, if you want to that is."
"Thank you, Miss Granger."
Hermione couldn't help but chuckle slightly at that, but she should have expected it. Remembering Ron's words earlier this evening, she said, "I just hope Ron will come around in time as well."
"I take it then, that Mr. Weasley is continuing to be difficult?"
"Didn't Harry tell you?"
"No, but ah, that does explain his mood this evening. And he went flying – I should have known. What happened?"
"Oh, Ron said something he shouldn't have. And it ended with me smacking Ron in the face…" Hermione stopped. Had she just admitted to assaulting another student to her Professor? What was wrong with her?
"I'm sure it was warranted, Miss Granger. Five points to Gryffindor…" Hermione's eyes bulged and Snape continued with a sly smile, "for your research on the Runes, of course."
"Of course, Professor," Hermione replied with a smile.
Snape hesitated a moment before beginning with significance, "I do want to thank you, Miss Granger, for being such a good friend to Harry. It is reassuring to know that he has stable friends around him."
Hermione could feel how profoundly uncomfortable Snape was in saying this. And suddenly the strangest thought came into her head – Ron's words about this being nothing more than a short-term thing to Snape. And she realized that Snape had never said he felt the same way as Harry, or anything of the sort.
"It isn't, right?" she asked suddenly.
Snape looked at her in confusion.
"… a short term thing?" Hermione finished. She blushed straight away, but ploughed on. "I know it's not my business, sir, but Harry's so taken with you… and…"
"And you don't want to see him hurt?" Snape supplied. He might have been annoyed by the brazenness of her question, had its motivation not been her obvious protectiveness for Harry.
Hermione nodded.
"Trust me, Miss Granger," Snape said in a tone that conveyed his seriousness on the matter, "my priority above all else in this world is to make sure that Harry is not hurt. There could be nothing of greater importance to me than Harry's happiness."
"Yes, sir. Thank you," Hermione replied, astonished by his candor.
"And, Miss Granger," Snape added with a quirk of his head, "perhaps one day, your first name will not feel so inaccessible."
It was as close to an admission of friendship that Hermione had ever heard from Severus Snape.
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Somewhere in the middle of grabbing the snitch right from Ron's grasp did Harry realize that he'd been an utter arse to Severus. After a few more laps around the pitch, he feigned fatigue in an effort to cut his outing with Ron short. He knew he needed to get to Severus as soon as possible and detail what had happened with Ron. He felt confident Severus would understand and forgive him once he'd had a chance to explain.
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"Incarcerous," Snape bellowed, his curse flying directly at Harry.
Harry managed to duck behind the sofa in time and cast a curse of his own, "Incendio!"
Harry peaked from behind his safe haven in time to see that the curse he'd just sent was whizzing back at him courtesy of a shield reflection charm the Potions master had cast without effort.
Without warning, Harry's robes were on fire, but somehow the heat was not scorching his flesh, just the clothing he wore. He cast the first counter-curse that came into mind, Aguamenti, which left him drenched, caked in soot, and Severus laughing hysterically at his predicament.
"You're awfully fond of that damn Incendio charm." Harry grimaced.
"Then perhaps you should have learned how to fend it off by now," Snape replied.
Harry still couldn't quite believe they were having dueling lessons in the living room of all places. But Severus had cast protective charms on all of his possessions, such that apparently the only thing left to be damaged were Harry's clothes.
"Let's resume, shall we?" Severus suggested.
"Do I have a choice?" Harry muttered.
"Would you prefer Occlumency lessons?"
"Perhaps I should practice it a bit, don't you think?" Harry suggested mischievously. A second later, he was sending a series of images to Severus's mind.
Harry and Severus, lying on their sides, naked. Lying head to toe, while Harry sucked Severus into his mouth. Severus moaning around Harry's length as he did so.
Harry could see that Severus was lost in the fantasy he was sending, and the evidence of his arousal was already becoming clear through his dark robes. Harry took his chance and fired, "Stupefy!"
But Snape was more than ready and a rapid response left him unharmed and Harry bound in tightening robes.
Harry couldn't believe it! He thought for sure he had the upper hand that time. "You're really good at this," Harry muttered in amazement.
"I am quite aware," Severus replied, his mouth quirking with amusement. "However… enticing your distraction might have been – and make no mistake, Mr. Potter, I was enticed – you made the critical mistake of inadequately shielding your intention to curse me."
"Are you going to untie me?"
"Perhaps," Snape replied. "Finite Incantatum," he said and Harry was at once free. But only a second later, Snape cast a second, far more dangerous curse, "Imperio!"
Damn, Harry thought, Severus was really pushing him tonight. They rarely practiced resisting the Imperius, but Harry supposed his earlier stunt gave Severus the right to play a bit dirty.
Harry could hear the command ringing in his ears. Put down your wand and kneel at my feet. He wanted to do it, more than anything. And yet, he did not.
The command came again, much stronger this time, such that it was nearly burning in his brain. It was exceedingly difficult not to obey – but to do the opposite was almost impossible. Almost.
Harry had tried spells in this position before, but nothing ever worked. So he let his mind go completely blank and one word came to him, Expelliarmus.
Half a second later, Severus's wand was in his hand, and the Imperius dropped instantly. Harry was stunned speechless. He looked up and found himself absorbed by the look on Severus's face. He wished he could have photographed him in that moment, the dark burning glare, the way his mouth curved just so. In any other situation, Harry would have thought he was in trouble.
Severus stalked toward him and somehow was not an ounce less intimidating even though he was wandless.
"Did you just disarm me, Mr. Potter?" Snape whispered silkily.
"First time for everything," Harry replied, not even quite able to believe it himself. And then, in a rush, in a sudden need to explain, he insisted, "It was an accident. I did it without thinking really."
"Even better."
Snape pinned Harry against the wall and grabbed him forcefully by the shoulders.
Harry's eyes widened in surprise.
"Give it back this instant!" Snape demanded.
Harry complied at once, stunned when Severus pointed the wand at him again.
"Divesto," came the whispered spell, leaving Harry's shirt and trousers undone, and in the next instant Severus was on him, pressing their bodies flush. Harry could feel Severus's erection poking his belly and he groaned.
This had been foreplay, plain and simple. There was no mistaking that look of dark satisfaction on Severus's face or the tone of his voice when he drawled, "I'm going to devour you now, my Harry."
"Oh god," came the young man's only response as his lover hoisted him up and carried him to the wool rug in front of the hearth.
There was no uncertainly to be found in Severus's movements – he knew exactly what he wanted and how. With one precise flick of his wand, Harry was naked and Severus's mouth was devouring Harry's body from top to bottom through hungry kisses and needy bites. It didn't take long for Severus to reach his destination. Harry was already fully erect by this time, and Severus wasted no time in taking Harry fully into his mouth.
Between gasping breaths, Harry's mind drifted to the fantasy he had shown Severus just a minute before. With a great deal of restraint, he pushed down on Severus's shoulders, signaling his lover to stop.
Severus didn't have to ask why Harry had pushed him away. One look into his young lover's eyes explained Harry's wishes and Severus was all to glad to comply with them. He cast a spell to remove his own clothing and turned around so that Harry would be able to return the favor as well.
Severus resumed his task, but it took Harry a long moment to find enough willpower to control his own movements. But the smell of Severus's arousal so near him was too much of an enticement to pass up for much longer. He licked a path along the sensitive length before he wrapped his lips around it and began to gently suck. As soon as he did, Severus let out a throaty moan, which reverberated right along his own arousal. The vibration was an exhilarating sensation and experimentally, Harry moaned back in reply.
This was the first time they had shared this sexual position – and both couldn't help but be in awe at how connected they each felt with the other.
Through his haze of pleasure, Severus marveled at how well they responded to other's movements and desires, almost as though their bodies had known each other forever, despite having been lovers for just two month's time.
For Harry, the experience was both new and thrilling – he'd never imagined he'd find another way to be so completely intimate with Severus for the first time. The act of giving and receiving pleasure at the same moment was as overwhelming as it was without equal.
It didn't take long before both men were thrusting into each other's mouths, while emitting blissful groans that echoed delightfully along their flesh, driving their pulsating need to new heights. With a muffled cry, Harry's body shuddered as he spilled himself down his lover's throat. The feel of Harry's climax triggered Severus's own just moments later and Harry did his best to drink down every drop.
It took a few minutes before either man had the energy to move, but ultimately it was Severus who dragged himself up and turned so that he was lying beside his young lover.
"That was…" Harry began breathily.
"Nothing short of amazing," Severus finished with a deep exhale.
"Yeah," Harry sighed with a satiated smile on his face. Harry turned and eyed Severus lying beside him on the wool rug, his hair a mess and his lips swollen and red. He felt his heart skip a beat at the realization – Severus Snape was his lover. And they were in love. Nothing in the world could be more perfect.
Severus could feel Harry's thoughts bubbling across the surface of his mind, and it brought a smile to his face. He couldn't have agreed more. And it was impossible for Severus to deny the simple truth in that moment – that he and Harry were soul mates. He already knew that he'd found everything he'd ever wanted in Harry – a friend, a lover, a companion, a true partner. Even still, this felt like something even deeper. Severus had really never understood what people meant when they spoke of finding their soul mate. Now he understood without question.
"I love you," they both said in unison. Harry chuckled and Severus smiled as they wound their bodies as close as they would allow.
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Author's note: Again readers, thank you for your patience! I'm in the middle of a move and starting a new job…and I can barely believe I got this chapter written at all. But here it is.
Thanks for all your reviews on the last chapter and I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks of this one. If people are still reading, I'm hoping to have the next chapter out soon.
Thanks always to my two outstanding betas: Ketsurui and Molvanian Queen-In-Exile.
Feedback is always appreciated.