a/n: Double gold star for the last chapter goes to iloveweirdsocks and chislarina. The Simpson's reference was, "You don't win friends with salad." I'm glad that chapter went over so well. It was a blast to write.

There was a delay in this chapter because I wrote too much. As a result, I had to break it out into two chapters. Part 1 is now, part two will be out probably Wednesday (barring site issues). I never post on episode night unless the episode sucks (I've only had to do that once).

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House came in noticing the freaked out terror in Foreman's face as he took refuge in his office. "Oh no, what are we up against this morning?"

"It's the worst yet. She's happy."

"Happy?"

"Overly sickening sweet bundle of joy happy. She's singing and twirling and brought in donuts. She started going on and on about what a beautiful day this is. I had to leave before I caught some sort of retched happiness disease."

"Where is she now?"

"The clinic. Hopefully those derelicts will break her spirit."

House slumped into his desk chair and rubbed his forehead with his right hand. "She's only in week ten. I'm not sure I can take 30 more weeks of this crap."

"She's wearing us all down and not just with the emotional crap. She has her physical issues. She's half a doctor right now. We can't do a procedure for more than 15 minutes without her having to pee. Her fatigue is so bad most of the time I can't let her touch patients for fear that she'll fall asleep during a test. She loses her train of thought so easily that a sponge has a better chance of carrying out the treatment. If she complains about how large and uncomfortable her breasts are feeling one more time I'm going to kill myself."

"Would you like a little cheese with that whine?" House tried to stand his snarky ground, but instead let his face fall flat, admitting that Foreman was actually right. "I know it's a problem. I have to allow all her doctors visits and prevent her from working too late so she gets her full 8 hours of sleep. Who gets a full nights rest every night anymore? We need another doctor."

"You think??" Foreman wasn't sure to be thrilled or angry over House's observation. He had only been telling him that for months.

"It will take me forever to find the right person. Either I go through that pain or," House smiled at his cunning idea, "I start doing procedures myself."

"Why is that a brilliant idea over hiring another fellow?"

"Because now I can get out of clinic duty. We can even give Cameron double clinic duty. She can't do as much damage there."

"You, actually work with the patients? That won't last."

"It's brilliant. What does our patient need done?"

"Angioplasty."

House stood up, determined to carry his plan forward. "Then I've got to get to work."

Foreman shook his head as House breezed on by. He knew this plot was doomed.

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"Good morning Allison. Thanks for waiting."

"I don't mind. It got me away from the clinic for a while."

"You look cheerful this morning. Things going well?"

"Couldn't be better."

Dr. Ades studied the chart carefully. It seemed the nurse had taken a lot of notes, thus indicating that things were hardly better. "Ten weeks along and your short-term memory and fatigue is getting worse, beyond normal. Has this been affecting your job?"

Cameron's eyes dropped, ashamed to admit her recent struggles. "House won't let me do procedures and I'm spending more time in the clinic these days."

"I see. Your weight hasn't gone up either. You are still 15 lbs down from your pre-pregnancy weight."

"It's a miracle diet!" She joked, although Dr. Ades wasn't laughing. "It doesn't seem like 15 lbs. My waist line is getting bigger."

"That's because it's supposed to be. Something would be very wrong if it wasn't. You haven't been getting sick?"

"No. I just don't feel like eating much."

"Any sensitivity to odors?"

"Yes, many of the hospital disinfectants make my stomach turn, not to mention most food. I don't get sick though."

"On the plus side, your urinalysis looked pretty good, so no ketones and the reported frequent urination is just a normal part of pregnancy. That should let up in the second trimester."

"What about the third?"

"Waterfalls galore." Dr. Ades made a few more notes. "Your blood pressure is pretty low this morning. Have you been checking it daily?"

"Yes, uh, sure, uh most days." She hung her head down when she saw her doctor wasn't buying it. "Okay, not really."

"Taking your supplements?"

"Yes, that I have done."

Dr. Ades took more notes and started shaking her head. "I shouldn't have to tell you this since you are a doctor, but not getting sick doesn't mean that you aren't getting enough nutrition. You are still slightly malnourished. Once we get your weight back up and get you eating at regular intervals your symptoms will improve."

She wrote out two scripts and handed the first one to Cameron. "Thiamine. We'll see if memory improves from taking that. As for this one, give this to Dr. House and keep a copy for yourself."

Cameron shockingly read the prescription. "This is a schedule to eat 8 times a day."

"Your hypermesis makes you prone to malnutrition and your job makes it worse. You aren't losing weight, but you need to be gaining. Set your watch or beeper to remind yourself when its time to eat. If you don't eat more and eat nutritious foods, gain weight, and show improvement with your blood pressure, shakiness and fatigue, I'm putting you on disability and bed rest."

Her eyes grew very wide. Whatever scare tactic was working. "I will."

The doctor smiled. "Okay, now that we have that out of the way, it's time for the best part. Let's check out the baby's heartbeat."

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Cuddy really needed to stop wearing those high heels. She could be heard coming from a mile away. House thought about running, but he was too tired for that. Procedures can actually be exhausting. He would sit and fight the berating he was about to get.

"You actually treated a patient?"

"Our department is in crisis. I needed to step up."

"Sending Cameron for double duty in the clinic is stepping up? She cried over a worried six-year-old girl with strep throat. She scared her mother to near death."

"She'll kill our patients through her shaky hand, mental fog, or bladder issues. Where else could I send her? The clinic patients will recover. It's 'low cost' for a reason."

"Foreman said you actually mentioned the idea of hiring someone else."

"I talked myself out of it. It was a fleeting thought, but this is a temporary problem that will pass."

Cuddy folded her arms, perfectly willing to fall into House's game. "You have a budget for three doctors. Use it."

"You know how long it will take to find the right person to work with these other two hard asses? It's a pointless task."

Cuddy gave him a cunning grin, revealing that she was privy to the real truth.

"What's so funny?"

"You miss Chase."

"No I don't."

"You won't hire another doctor because you regret letting him get away. No, you were hoping he'd see the error in his ways and come back. You are keeping the position open for him. He would never leave his attending position to come back as a fellow. What are you thinking?"

"He doesn't have to comeback as a fellow. The merger will let him stay an attending."

Cuddy put on her best face of ignorance. "Merger?"

"Come on, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Hospital networks are big business these days. I know Trinity Health wants to pull both us and Princeton General into their mega hospital family. We will look so damn good on one of their marketing brochures."

"You are wrong."

"Yeah, than why have you been in secret meetings about it over the last year?"

"Even if this little whacked out scenario in your mind was true, which it is not, there is no way it will get Chase back. Hire another doctor, or I will."

"Don't give me that. The merger talks that have been off and on for a while now are finally back on. You knew as well as I did that when we sent Chase off to Princeton General that there was a real possibility we would be getting him back."

"You are delusional. There was never any real possibility that it would happen." She turned away and spoke something under her breath. "Only a slight one."

"I heard that!" House declared with a self-righteous smirk.

"Hire another doctor or I will." She stormed off feeling that she still proved her point despite her slight admission.

"Hire another doctor or I will." House snarled with a high pitched mock after Cuddy left. He had a little time to stall. He would have to check with his mole to see how close this merger was to happening. Of course he still needed to figure out what to do if it was real.

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Eric Foreman was at the end of his rope. Everyone had gone completely insane around him. Between Cameron not being able to work evenings which required him to pull long shifts with the patients on his own, and his wife's current obsession to combat her boredom over his absence with home decorating projects, all was not well. All was getting pretty damn miserable fast.

Their recent case was baffling to say the least. Through House's usual reckless brilliance, a patient with supposedly no hope was given a last ditch shot at an experimental drug that would hopefully alleviate the chronic encephalitis that the disease caused. That would at least buy some more time. The treatment required round the clock monitoring. After a 36 hour shift and slight improvement, he was finally allowed to go home and rest.

When he got home though, he instead got his own glimpse into Chase's reality. He finally found out what it was like to come home to a huge shock that he could have not possibly been prepared for. After wearily opening his front door with the key and being completely bulldozed by what he saw inside, he had to quickly step back outside and examine the front of his home to make sure he had the right place. Once he confirmed this was indeed his residence, he was too scared to go back in.

The front door opened and his smiling but somewhat confused wife came to greet him. "I thought I heard the front door. Why are you standing out here?"

"I'm hallucinating. The fatigue is playing tricks with my mind. I'm seeing bright colors."

Pamela got slightly excited. "Oh, you saw it. Isn't it great? Come in and see my handiwork."

She had to practically grab his arm and drag him in. Eventually he cooperated, knowing resistance was futile. He stepped into the living room and was hit by the vivid combination of some really annoying colors.

"So, what do you think?"

"My corneas are burning."

"Stop kidding around. Doesn't it make you feel like you are at some tropical resort?"

"Yeah, in a country where everyone is colorblind. What do you call these colors?"

"Coral sunset and deep swimming pool."

Foreman only saw a bright peachy pink on two opposing walls, followed by an ambiguous greenish blue on the other two. Actually, that last color matched Chase's eyes. It looked good on Chase, but not on his wall. He felt he only had one option. He walked over to his precious mini bar and poured something stiff.

"I know it is a shock at first, but give yourself time to get used to it."

Foreman did another visual scan of the room and then swallowed his drink in one gulp. He spoke with gruff voice that came from the alcohol hitting his throat. "It looks better already."

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Wilson and House stood side by side, heads tilted to the left, and eyes confounded and a general squeamish flinch as they watched the unannounced freak show.

"She's really tearing into that thing. Has she come up for air?"

Wilson shrugged, too speechless to answer.

Foreman entered, unable to avoid spotting the strangely positioned men from behind. He had only been away for a day and a half and everything was just as outlandish as when he left. He thought about turning around and going back, but curiosity got the better of him. He came over and took a peek in the space between them, catching his own glimpse of the spectacle.

"She got a Big Momma for lunch I see." Foreman remembered Cameron's last run in with the unusually large sandwich.

"She's eating for 10." House replied.

"Her cravings for subs have been the only thing getting her to eat. Meatball must be the favorite."

"How is it that she hasn't gained an ounce?" Wilson asked as she stuffed in another bite.

"Nobody get your hands near her while she's eating." House warned.

Cuddy came into the room unsure as to what had all the three men lined up. "What the...?"

"Shh. House told her. Never startle the bears during feeding."

Cuddy glanced into the conference room to see what he was talking about. Even she was quite stunned. "Wow."

"See what you are missing out on. Pregnancy isn't so cool after all."

Cuddy handed House a folder. "These are resumes. Have Cameron set up a meeting time with each one of them to meet with you. Tell her not to laugh or cry."

"Resumes?" Asked Wilson.

"It's her idea. I say we are doing just fine."

"No," said Foreman, "you are doing just fine. Me, I'd like to remind my wife she has a husband that's still alive every once in a while and that she can't remodel our home without my input."

The others all looked at him strangely. House shook his head, obviously suffering from TMI. "Would it make a difference? Even when you are there she thinks you are dead."

"House..." Cuddy was tired of the distraction.

"Fine, I'll have Cameron do it once she's finished gorging for her and that mutant growing inside. Anyway, she's due any moment for her daily bitching at Chase."

Sure enough, at that moment, Cameron's cell phone went off. House got all giggly. "Here, you've got to listen to this."

"Yes, my day is going well…I'm so glad you called to check on me…I love you too, and I miss you." They heard her deliver kisses into the phone.

A now disturbed House could easily predict what would happen next. "Okay, that was enough to completely freak out Chase so he will be here stopping by here sometime in the near future. I better hide this." He threw the folder into his drawer. "It would be rude of me to find Chase's replacement while Chase is here."

"He'll adjust. She's scheduling those interviews. I'm watching you for tricks." Cuddy made sure he got an ultra stern look before leaving.

"Who me?" House said faking innocence. Foreman and Wilson raised their eyes and went about their business.

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Chase couldn't avoid laughing as his former mentor sat hunched over at his desk, reading glasses perched loosely on his nose, leafing through a file of papers that obviously came from Cuddy. "Resumes? You finally going to hire someone?"

"Your bat shit crazy wife will be back soon. She's gone to get her medically required pre-mid afternoon post-lunch but before pre-dinner meal. Either that or it's a bathroom break. I can't keep track anymore. Maybe it would be best if you wait outside. You aren't supposed to see this."

"I can help. You hate this stuff and you really ought to hire someone soon. Get them in before the merger."

"We don't need help and what merger?"

Chase sat down, showing some disappointment that House would plead unawareness with him. "Please, you know how I am with gossip. When diagnostics for the entire network is combined in one giant umbrella, we will need help. Once the positions are filled and funded, they are safe from any re-organizations. I'm overworked and have no help, so is Foreman, so is Allison, when she is able to actually work."

"They are only negotiating."

"Sources from my side say it's a done deal. Final approval will come from both boards pretty soon."

House paused, wondering how his information was so off. Oh, that's right, Jimmy isn't allowed to tell him this stuff since he's on the board. Other sources are iffy at best. He handed over half the packet of resumes to Chase. "Give preference to the Indian doctors. I recently learned their language and want to work on my dialect."