Grey's Anatomy I do not own. If I did, we may be in trouble!
Chase held Meredith all night long after she had told Addison about Ian. He didn't know what was wrong, but he could tell she was upset. She didn't want to tell him yet. It wasn't a big deal. There are a lot of people that are divorced. It's not as if it is some taboo subject. She knew, that he knew. she was upset, and if she told him about Ian at that point, he would think she still cared about him. She didn't want him to feel threatened by a man that wasn't around, and wouldn't be anytime soon. So they dropped it, nothing was said. She didn't offer, and he didn't ask.
No one said anything about Ian. All of her friends kept their mouthes shut. Cristina spent a week pouting because Meredith hadn't told her about him. She got over it when she realized Meredith wasn't going to bite the bait she was holding. Meredith wanted to pretend that it had never happened. She wanted to act as if her friends never called her ex-husband behind her back, and in a sense betrayed her. So she avoided. She avoided the subject completely.
Miranda Bailey dragged her interns through rounds. She was in an especially grouchy mood. They were all nearly silent, as they walked. They didn't want to risk pissing her off anymore than she already was.
"Grey, you present." She shoved the chart into her hands, almost pushing Meredith back a few steps.
"Uh, okay. Gina Adler is in for Posterior Cervical Fusion. She still needs and MRI. She is scheduled for surgery at ten." Meredith said. She continued to explain what the surgery would entail.
"It's your case." Dr. Bailey said, and then she walked out of the room.
"Dr. Grey, you need to get an MRI done, and get the results to me asap." Derek said with a smile.
"Right away, Sir." She said happily. He began whistling as he walked out of the room.
Meredith took the patient to MRI. She passed Chase on the way. He gave her a smile. She could tell that he was getting impatient with her. She was still unable to tell him that she loved him. She liked him a lot, and she really cared about him. She liked having him around, and she definitely had a connection with him. He was a generous, intelligent, compassionate guy who could love her unconditionally. He would never hurt her. She knew that, but she still couldn't say those three words. She wasn't even sure what true love was anymore.
Meredith found Derek in the stairwell. He was just walking through the door.
"I was just coming to look for you." She said quickly.
"Were you really?" He asked with a bright smile. They walk up to the nurses station.
"Here is the MRI." She hands the envelope to him, he opens it and looks at the films.
"There it is, he points to the MRI. See the dislocation?" He asks her, glancing into his green eyes.
"Yeah, right there." She points to the film.
"Yep, that's it. I need you to prep her." He said. "So how is your pipe?" He asked her.
"My pipe? Oh, that pipe. Yeah, it's good. I was actually thinking about breaking some more. That's how I get guys to my house." She started laughing, he joined her.
"Is it now?" He said. Neither of them noticed Doctor Chase Carter watching them. He was jealous. She was laughing with him. She seemed open, happy. Chase immediately walked over to the OR board and erased his surgery. After talking to Meredith, Derek walked over to the board.
"What the hell?" He shouted. "What happened to my surgery at ten?" He asked a nurse.
"I don't know. You should ask the Chief, he erased it." She answered meekly. Derek stormed to Chase's office, and knocked on the door.
"Come in." Chase shouted. He looked up from his paperwork. "Ah, Dr. Shepherd. How can I help you?" Chase asked.
"You could tell me why my surgery was erased from the board." He said loudly.
"I will be doing a valve replacement." Chase returned, looking down at the papers. Derek sensed that Chase didn't really care that Derek was mad, he was acting like it was no big deal.
"Is this valve replacement an emergency? Why is Dr. Burke not doing this?" Derek raised his voice even louder.
"I think I have the knowledge to know what is an emergency and what is not. Yours is not. My judgment is what runs this hospital. Dr. Burke is on a case. Your surgery was bumped. End of discussion, Dr. Shepherd." Chase said simply, no anger in his voice. He had a way of keeping his voice level, even when anger was building up.
"It's because I was talking to Dr. Grey, right?" Derek said sharply, Chase's head then rose.
"No, it isn't. It's because my patient needs a valve replacement. I am confident that you are abiding by the rules and were talking to Dr. Grey about medicine." Chase retorted, looking Derek in the face.
"So, you are saying that it is against the rules to say "How are you today, Dr. Grey?" or "How are you feeling?" that's against the rules?" Derek said loudly, anger rising in him.
"I don't think I need to remind you of the rules. I was sure that we understood each other." Chase answered.
"She isn't your type." Derek said simply and flatly.
"Excuse me?" Chase asked, getting angry. He was with Meredith. Ha! I am her type.
"She isn't the kind of girl to go with you. She is more of--" Derek said, Chase interrupted before he could finish.
"Your type? Is that what you were going to say? I have to tell you, it won't happen." Chase mocked. Derek turned around and started to walk out. "Oh, let Dr. Grey know that she will be with me today." Derek left. He walked straight to Meredith, who was prepping the patient.
"Carter bumped our surgery." Derek said simply, with a slight bit of anger in his voice.
"What? He can't do that!" She raised her voice.
"He did. And you are on his service today." Derek said, looking at her.
"Okay. Well, when is your surgery going to be on the board?" She asked innocently.
"Who knows. Carter has it out for me." Derek retorted, with a bit of sarcasm.
"Oh, he does not!" Meredith laughed and walked away.
"If you only knew." Derek muttered to himself.
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Meredith joined Chase in surgery. He was already beginning when she walked in. During the surgery, he kept looking at her. She was watching his precise movements. She was impressed. She had never seen him work before. He was very talented. She didn't notice the looks that he was giving her across the table. He had fallen for her. And he had fallen for her hard. She had no idea. Derek was up in the gallery. He saw the looks. He clenched his fists. How dare he go after her. Why did he care? She was just an intern, he told himself. He sat down in a chair. He didn't even notice Holly walk in.
"Interesting surgery?" She asked, sitting next to him.
"Just a valve replacement." He said quietly, watching the pair.
"You seem enthralled." She said, watching his intense gaze. "I thought you had surgery." She said innocently.
"Chief Asshole bumped it." He said, immediately regretting it. He didn't regret saying it. He regretting saying it to her.
"God Derek. What is your problem?" She said, looking down, then looking at the surgical team. She saw the look, the look Chase gave to Meredith. "Oh my God. He wants her, and you are jealous! It's true, isn't it? What everyone says..." She said in a saddened shock. "You want her."
"No, I do not want her. What the hell is wrong with you people?" He yelled. She stood up and ran out. Normally he would follow her. He didn't want to, he didn't care how she felt at this moment.
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"So, why did you bump the surgery?" Meredith asked, as she scrubbed her hands. Chase was doing the same.
"This valve replacement needed to be done." He said simply as he began to dry his hands.
"It wasn't an emergency." She answered quietly.
"It was more emergent than Dr. Shepherd's case." He answered matter-of-factly.
"It could have waited. Are you picking on him?" She giggled.
"Now why would I do that?" He asked as he slid his hand down the small of her back, resting it on her bottom. Meredith jumped when the door came open. She saw Derek and immediately got a nervous look on her face. Derek looked down at Chase's hand, and looked up at him.
"So, is my surgery going to get done today, or should I just go home?" Derek asked nastily.
"I can try to get it on the board later." Chase said dryly.
"Fine." Derek replied, walking out.
"Now where were we?" Chase asked as he turned her around.
"Well, you were leaving, and I am checking on our patient." Meredith said quickly. She felt slightly unnerved being caught by Derek.
"See you tonight?" He asked.
"I don't know. I'm tired. I should go home alone at least once and awhile." Meredith said with as smile as she walked out, leaving him dumfounded.
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Meredith checked on her patient. The patient was going through recovery well. She headed towards an on-call room. She was tired, she wasn't ready to go home. She opened the door, to see Derek laying there with his arms behind his head. She shut the door and locked it. There was only one bunk bed, and she didn't want anyone to come in and wake her.
"Hey. Whatcha doing?" She asked him. He looked like he had a lot on his mind.
"I don't know anymore." He answered sadly. She looked at his face and laid down in the bed next to him. Her feet were by his head. He threw a pillow down to her. "God, your feet stink!" He joked.
"They do not!" She said feeling offended.
"Oh yes they do." He laughed.
"Oh yeah? How about now?" She said, shoving them in his face. He swatted them down. She shoved them back in his face, and he bit her toe. "Ouch!" She shouted.
"You do realize that you are extremely immature." He stated with a smile.
"Well, I think I am playing with a five year old here." She joked back.
"Maybe." He said. His smile quickly faded.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked him, her mood turning serious.
"No. Yes. I don't know." He said indecisively. They both laid there for a few minutes. "You don't have to take it. Just because he is the Chief..." Derek trailed off.
"Take what?" Meredith asked in shock.
"Sexual harassment." He said quietly.
"What are you talking about?" She asked in shock. "He wasn't. It was a joke..." She said, laughing it off.
"It was?" He asked, she nodded. "I think he is after you. You should watch yourself. It could ruin your career." He warned.
"Don't worry about me. By the look on your face, you have your own problems." She said back to him, adjusting her pillow.
"Yeah. I just. I'm not sure." He said, and trailed off. They laid there for a while.
"Do you love her? Holly, I mean." Meredith asked softly, knowing she was on thin ice. Derek looked at her and sighed.
"I don't know." He rubbed his face. "She is a nice person. I know you don't like her." He looked over at Meredith, she didn't have to say anything, he knew he was right. "But she is kind, and she's a good girl, ya know? She is--I don't know. It's sad, but I--I don't think so. But she's safe, and she means well." He said quietly, almost feeling guilty. "I don't love her the way I should."
"How do you know, if you love someone?" Meredith asked innocently.
"Seriously?" He looked at her like she was joking. He realized she wasn't.
"I don't know. I used to know, but now I am not sure anymore." She said.
"If you love someone, you just know. You just know it. It is a feeling you get." He said.
"Oh..." She sighed and dropped her head to the side. "Well can you learn to love someone?"
"Yeah, I think so. But it won't last, you will never have a real relationship." He explained. "Why?"
"I don't know. This guy, he's great. He is safe, and he will never hurt me. But I can't say it, and I don't know if it is because it's how I feel, or because I'm scared. I don't know anything anymore." She said quietly, a single tear running down her cheek. "So what are you going to do? About Holly. Are you going to hope that it comes along, love I mean."
"I don't know. I don't want to hurt her. She doesn't deserve it." He said, looking at Meredith. Something about her soothed him.
"I need a drink. Do you want to go to Joe's?" She asked happily.
"Sure, why not. I'm sure my surgery will not be getting done today..." He trailed off.
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"Joe, I'll just have a beer tonight" Meredith said, sitting down with Derek.
"Me too." Derek said with a smile. "Do you play darts?" He said as he looked over at her.
"Not very well. Ian tried to teach me. He ended up getting speared in the side of the head. He vowed to never do it again!" She laughed at the memory.
"Well, I could teach you." He said with a smile.
"So I am guessing you don't value your eyes." She laughed.
"It can't be that bad." He said as he walked over to the dart board. "Okay, let's see what you've got." He hands he a dart. She throws it, it bounces of the wall and lands in a man's drink. "Uh, you may want to give the lady some room." Derek said with a laugh. "Try again."
"Are you sure?" Meredith asked. He nodded her head. She threw this one harder and it really went flying. Neither of them noticed that Holly was sitting with a few friends from work at a table in the corner. Alex was also at the bar.
"Okay. You need help." He busted out laughing, she frowned. "With your technique, I mean." He pulled her body close, and took her hand in his. They both stood that way for a moment. He breathed in her scent. They fit together perfectly. She felt so safe, so comfortable against he body. She didn't want to throw the dart, she wanted to stay in his arms. He guided her arm and she released the dart, it hit the board. "That was better!" He said. "Now try it on your own." She did, but she made sure it didn't go anywhere near the board. She longed for his touch.
"That was not so good." She laughed. He once again took her into his grasp. She felt him against her. It was definitely there. She could feel his erection against her. She smiled, but immediately felt guilty. Her body went limp. The couldn't deny that there was something between them. She felt a wave of warmth cover her body. She smelled his cologne. It went with him perfectly. It was intoxicating. He raised her hand and she threw the dart, making a bulls-eye. A bulls-eye, how fitting.
"Are you just going to let this happen?" Kelly, Holly's friend stated to her.
"Uh-" Holly said in shock. She was not the type to start a fight. She felt stupid. Her boyfriend was obviously flirting with someone else in the same room as herself.
"You are going to let that bitch stay all over your boyfriend?" Kelly said loudly.
"He doesn't look so innocent himself." Stated Jan, her other friend.
"I'd be kicking her ass!" Kelly said. "Do you want me to?"
"No." Said Holly. "I have my own plans..." She said as she lifted her camera phone and took a picture. She keyed in the Chief's e-mail address. "By tomorrow, Meredith Grey will be living in hell..." Holly seethed.
"This should be good. But what about Derek." Jan asked innocently.
"The Chief will punish him. But once Meredith is out of the picture, he will be all mine." Holly laughed.
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Meredith walked down the hallway and up to her room. She wiggled the handle, it was locked. He was here. Chase was here. She knocked lightly on the door, and whispered, "It's me." The door unlocked.
"Where have you been?" He said rudely.
"Um, at Joe's." Meredith responded. She wasn't going to lie. She went into the bathroom and changed, and came and laid down. Chase was sitting up in bed. He leaned over to kiss her. The kiss was full of anger, and she knew it.
"You should take a shower." He spat dryly.
"Why?" She asked, pulling away.
"You smell like stale beer, and him." Chase seethed.
"What?" Meredith said, sitting up straight.
"Derek Shepherd. His scent is all over you, and it's disgusting." He clenched his jaw. "Here." He handed her a folded up piece of paper. She opened it. Her eyes grew wide. "Where did you get this? Are you having someone watch me?" She said angrily. She folded up the picture of she and Derek playing darts. It looked every bit as intense as it was.
"No. An interested party sent that to me." He stated. "Why him? Why?"
"Chase, there is nothing going on." She said, already giving up the fight.
"It sure as hell doesn't look like it, Meredith. Look at you two." He stated sadly. "I love you, and this is what you do..." He drops his head, his voice cracks. He starts to get up from the bed. She pulls him down.
"Chase." She says softly, cradling his face. "Look at me." He looks in her eyes. "There is absolutely nothing going on. I would not do that to you. I wish you could just trust me. That hurts me. That you don't trust me." She said, his eyes well up.
"I have never felt this way about someone, Meredith. Quite frankly, it scares the shit out of me. You are all I think about. Before, I was the guy that didn't call. I left girls hanging, and now, I am the girl. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting to hear your voice. I can't lose you." He said, choking up.
"There is nothing going on between Derek Shepherd and I." She said softly. He laid down next to her and pulled her close. He believed her. She was wondering if she believed it herself.
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"Ask Me How I Am" was on a C.D. single of the same name. So Meredith is starting to feel something between she and Derek. I am trying to move things along, but if I rush too much I feel like you guys are getting cheated. So please let me know if it is okay. I try to get as much Mer/Der as possible, but Mer is in a semi-broken state, and she needs Chase to push her one way or the other, which will happen. He will be gone, so please stick with it. Please Review, even if it is "I read your crap..." No, please don't say that, it might hurt my feelings:)