a/n: Here it is, the moving saga continued. This is the product of my vivid imagination during a 14 hour car ride. Another outrageous one folks!

----------------------------

Chase's worst nightmare happened about one hour after he arrived in the ER. It was early afternoon, so word about his presence got around fast. "I knew you'd be down here the second you heard."

House feigned offense. "I'm the best doctor in this hospital. You should be honored that you are getting such pristine care."

"My case is boring. You hate boring cases. You are only doing this as an opportunity for personal torment."

"That's ridiculous. Your wife is my treasured employee and she's worried about you."

"She already diagnosed me. She's not worried."

"Oh, she was when we saw this." House threw a scan onto the light board and turned it on.

Chase scoffed. "Those aren't my films. That's a cancerous prostate of an eighty year old man."

House frowned and took the film down. "Yeah, I couldn't fool Cameron with that either. You've got an Inguinal Hernia."

"No duh."

"Ah, but that's not the only thing. It seems that whatever damage you did to yourself has caused an incarceration of the intestine." House put up the correct scans. "You're scheduled for Herniorrhapy in a couple of hours before it becomes strangulated."

"Perfect." Chase said sarcastically. "That still doesn't explain the back pain."

"That's from a subluxation. You twisted your lower vertebrae in just the right way where the rupture of the Hernia combined with a pinched spinal nerve shot an overload of sensations to the pain centers of your brain. That's why you fell unconscious."

"So, I have a hernia and a back injury."

"Yep."

Chase dropped his head into his right hand. "I only tried to lift a damn box."

House laughed. "While that would be a great excuse, you know the hernia is congenital. It was a time bomb waiting to go off. You could have had the same issue trying to pick up a Kleenex at the wrong time. You can blame the box on your back though. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking I must do what my overly emotional pregnant wife wanted me to do. Where is she anyway?"

"Going through forms with admissions. It seems you've never been a patient here before."

"That will take hours." Chase shook his head, realizing what a mess they were in. "I'm sure she's losing it. We're supposed to be moving in two days. This is going to put me out about four weeks."

"Six actually. Your back is in pretty bad shape." House said with glee.

"Gee thanks."

"So, since you are a very special patient, you get to pick. Local or general anesthesia?"

"General." Chase didn't hesitate with that answer.

"Are you sure? That will guarantee an overnight stay."

"I know. I'm in too much pain though and I could use the break from packing. Oh, by the way, it was your professional recommendation."

House wasn't pleased. "Why should I take the brunt of scorn from your wife?"

"You're the doctor. It's your job."

------------------------------------------------

"General anesthesia? If that happens he can't be discharged until noon tomorrow!" Cameron was livid. She was getting tired easily these days and wouldn't be able to make a dent in packing on her own.

"What a caring wife you are, and not a very cautious doctor." House said unashamedly. "He has a back injury too. We need to be careful."

Cameron wasn't convinced and got very upset. "I think you're doing this just to mess with us."

"Cameron," Foreman said from behind her, "House is right. There's no way he's going to be use to you before moving anyway."

"We have to be out of that apartment by Sunday. We have no choice." Cameron started to sway a little and held onto the back of a nearby chair.

Foreman rushed over to help her. "I'm okay," Cameron said. "It's just normal dizziness."

Foreman and House shared a slightly concerned look. "Dizziness like this, even in pregnancy, isn't that normal." Foreman said.

"It hasn't been that bad. I'm just getting my usual fatigue."

"Okay," Foreman said grabbing Cameron's arm, "time to go see Dr. Ades now."

"What about Robert? He's got surgery soon."

"I'll be there." House said. "Complete with camera for blackmail photos. Now go."

Foreman pulled Cameron along before she could give much of response.

House chuckled. Even General Hospital couldn't provide this kind of entertainment.

-----------------------------

"Where's Robert?" Dr. Ades asked as she felt the abdomen. "I saw Dr. Foreman out in the lobby."

"Surgery. He should be done soon."

"Robert's performing surgery?"

"No, he's having surgery done on him."

"Oh my, I hope it's not serious."

"No. They're fixing an Inguinal Hernia."

The doctor winced. "Ouch, he's going to be in pain for a little bit."

"Tell me about it. Movers will be at our apartment in less than 48 hours."

Dr. Ades finished the exam. "Sounds like he isn't the only one pushing himself. Your BP is a little high. Have you been tired lately?"

"Tired? More like unable to function some of the time. Sometimes I hit lows so bad I can't keep my eyes open."

"That's your body telling you to take it easy. Don't feel like you have to pack and unpack all those boxes yourself. Get help."

"There isn't anyone to help, especially with Robert out of commission."

"Allison…"

"Okay. I have a friend that might be able to help."

"There, that wasn't so hard, was it? I also noticed you haven't signed up for the childbirth class starting next week."

"Childbirth class? Do I have to take those?"

"Yes, Doctors have to take those too."

"I've seen enough deliveries."

"Yes, but you've never been through the pain personally. Those classes teach you among other things how to manage the pain during labor."

"Isn't my case different with twins?"

"Nope. You and Robert need to work together on your childbirth plan. This class prepares you for that."

"I don't know if we will have time."

"It sounds like Robert will be plenty available for the next few weeks. You can make the time, even if it takes a doctors excuse. It's only one hour for the next four weeks."

"Fine, I'll sign us up before I leave."

"Good. You're doing okay, but it doesn't take much to push yourself. Rest when you are tired, and find someone else to handle the moving duties."

Cameron sadly nodded and headed out for the lobby, but not before signing up for the class.

"You look better," Foreman said. "So everything checked out?"

"Yes, I just need to take it easy. Foreman, is Pamela-"

"Already taken care of. She doesn't start her new job until Monday and is on her way to your apartment now. No one is better at kamikaze packing."

"Kamikaze? Is that a fancy term for randomly chucking things into boxes?"

"Yep."

Cameron lowered her head in defeat. "I'm too tired to care anymore. Let's go check on Robert."

------------------------------------------------------

Chase was scared to open his eyes. From the voices he heard, he was either going to face a snarling Allison or a malevolent House. Nonetheless, his stir was spotted.

"Robert?" Cameron asked, who switched to caring mode.

He weakly smiled. "I don't feel any pain."

Cameron knew exactly why as she looked over at House, who was cranking up the morphine. "You're welcome!" House shouted.

"I'm assuming I still have my balls intact." Chase said, still very groggy.

"Yep, everything went well."

"Sorry, but anytime a surgeon cuts along your scrotum, everything is not 'well'" House said, cringing at the thought. "You're practically a girl now Chase."

"Shut up House!" Cameron snapped. "Lucky for you the surgical team wouldn't allow him in with his camera."

"How are you doing?" Chase asked Cameron choosing to ignore House. "You look very tired."

"I'm good. Cuddy arranged a bed for me over there if I got too bad. It helps to have connections I guess."

"We need to postpone the move."

"That's already been taken care of. We have nothing to worry about. The hide-a-bed sofa we bought will be delivered this evening so that you can go straight to our new home tomorrow and have a place to rest."

Chase laughed. "Pamela's moving our stuff, isn't she?"

"You got it."

"Okay, enough harassing my patient." House said ending this boring conversation. "You, it's nap time!" He pointed to Cameron, then the extra bed. "You, back to sleep." He ordered Chase.

Chase and Cameron both laughed over House's antics while giving each other a loving gaze. Cameron leaned over and kissed him. "Sleep well."

Chase stared at House who was towering over him. "You waiting for me to kiss you next?" House asked.

"Good night House." He said smiling, before closing his eyes.

"You two are both pathetic." House said just before he walked out the door.

-----------------------

"Good morning Dr. Chase," Cuddy said, walking in with a smile. "Since Dr. House is performing his required clinic duty, I'll be handling your discharge today. Ready to go home?"

Chase smiled at her friendly greeting. He was already dressed to leave, but getting clothes on was a huge struggle. He knew the stiffness in his back would improve once he moved around a little. "I understand congratulations are in order." He pointed to her hardened mid-section.

"Yes, thank you. Lucky for me, no twins at the ultrasound."

"That's good," Chase said, before noticing Cameron's unhappy face. "Not to say I'm not glad it's happening to us. So how have you been feeling?"

"Great actually. I haven't been getting sick and I still have plenty of energy. If it wasn't for the growing belly, I wouldn't know I was pregnant at all."

Chase held back a laugh when he saw the insanely jealous glare coming from Cameron.

"Everything seems to be in order." Cuddy said going through the chart. "I see House has prescribed a strong dose of Percocet for the next few days."

"I tried to convince House to give him something else," Cameron said bitterly, "but he wouldn't hear it."

"I happen to agree with him," Chase replied. "I don't want to feel pain." Chase of course failed to mention that he was the one that told House what he wanted, but no one needed to know that info.

"Last time you were on Percocet you were loopier than a bucket of eels on a Ferris wheel. It doesn't have a good effect on you."

"Loopier than what?"

"I don't know, something my grandfather always used to say. The bottom line is, you can't function well."

"This is worse than that root canal. I really need something powerful this time." Actually, it wasn't much worse, for pain from a tooth nerve gone bad was the worst thing he ever felt before this. He learned from that experience the best solution to managing unbearable pain, despite the weird side effects.

"I won't question House on this one." Cuddy said. "Since you both are doctors, you'll know if there are problems. You are free to go at anytime."

"Thanks. We are just waiting for Foreman to get here."

"Both of you take care of yourselves." Cuddy said just before she left. Chase and Cameron gave her their goodbyes, then let a few quiet seconds pass in silence before giving each other a strange glance.

"Why would anyone take a bucket of eels on a Ferris wheel?" He asked.

"It's an expression!"

---------------------------------------

"It's a good thing Pamela was available today." Cameron said.

"It's Saturday. She gets these days off." Chase grumpily replied. The Percocet had worn off, and he couldn't take more for another 30 minutes. He wasn't about to pop pills at will like House, especially ones with oxycodone in them.

They sat on their new couch which was in the front living room and both had big comfortable pillows supporting their aching backs. The sun streamed through the large curtain-less bay window, making it very bright, actually overwhelming. So much so they had their sunglasses on.

"You sure you don't want to chance it?" Cameron asked coyly.

"There are stitches in my scrotum. You're going to have to relieve yourself."

"I guess that's not too hard." She said pouting. "The sensation is so bad down there all I have to do is wiggle in my seat a little. It's more fun with you though."

"I had surgery less than 48 hours ago. I can't believe you're even suggesting it."

"You've got to start using it again sometime."

"No!"

She folded her arms and tried to calm her urges. Nothing seemed to work. "You look hot in those sunglasses."

"No!"

"Okay. Men can be so cranky when they get their balls tampered with."

"You think?" Chase spouted sardonically.

They sat in further silence, both suffering over their maladies, waiting patiently for the sign of a truck.

"You think Pamela had problems?" Cameron asked, breaking the silence.

"She would have called."

"I'm wondering if she had them stop by her place to get more of her old furniture to give to us."

That got a laugh out of both Chase and Cameron, just before they both grabbed their lower extremities in pain.

Cameron gave him a friendly smile and grabbed his knee. "Happy new home."

"No!"

-------------------------------------------

"It's about time you got here. We thought you had them stop by your house get some of your furniture." Cameron harped as she greeted Pamela outside.

"Sorry dear, but moving takes time. Go on inside and tell them where to put stuff. I've got things under control out here." Pamela replied with a cheerful grin.

Cameron went inside and Pamela stopped a mover walking by. "Don't bring my living room set through the front door. There's a side door for where it goes in the basement." She instructed in a low voice.

A few minutes later Chase came out walking stiffly but with a happy smile and glazed eyes. "You took your happy pills." She said with cheerful delight.

"Yep. I still won't let Allison touch me though."

Pamela's face cringed. "That's a bit too much information for me. Why don't you go back inside and point to the movers where things are supposed to go."

"Gotcha." He wandered carefree back inside.

Foreman's car pulled up in front of the house while Pamela was watching the movers. "Hey there baby." She gave him a kiss.

"Are Chase and Cameron inside?"

"Don't go in there. They are both off their rockers. At least Robert's is drug induced."

Foreman chuckled. "House instructed me to give him full descriptions of how spacey Chase acted during the move. I better go watch him so I can give my report."

He came in just in time to watch Chase point a mover holding a large floor lamp toward the kitchen. "Hey Foreman." Chase said with a minor slur and a lazy smile.

Foreman laughed at Chase's impaired state. "Hey there. My guess is you are feeling no pain."

"Not a bit."

"You have no idea what's going on, do you?"

"Not a freaking clue."

"Robert!" Came Cameron's voice shouting from upstairs. "Why did you send a box of silverware into the master bedroom??"

"You go sit down." Foreman said guiding Chase part way into the front room. "I've got his under control."

A mover came in with a box marked "stuff" looking at Foreman for guidance. "That's a kamikaze box. Those you can put wherever the hell you feel like."

------------------------------------------------

"Pamela?"

"Yes dear?" She replied to Cameron with the same smile that had been plastered on her face all day.

"Your living room set is in my basement."

"No, it's in my living room."

"Sorry, I should have clarified. Your old living room set is in my basement."

"Oh, that set. Yes, I believe it is."

"I thought you said that-"

"It will be perfect for kids to ruin. You should go lie down. You look very tired."

"I can't rest. My home is in disarray, most boxes are only marked "stuff" and are sitting everywhere containing just about anything, my husband is stoned out of his mind, and I just burned through all the toilet paper in the bathroom and have no idea where more is. I don't like drip drying."

"You and Robert with the TMI. I'll find something that will work to avoid drying tragedies. You need to prop your feet up on the chaise lounge in the screen porch. I can personally verify it's perfect for naps and the fresh air will do you good. The movers are almost done and I'll send them on their way."

Cameron nodded and headed back inside. Chase came back out a few minutes later. He seemed slightly more coherent than before, but still not quite right. "Is there something I can help you with Robert?"

"There's a big floor lamp in the middle of my kitchen."

"A new home decorating fad. Everyone's doing it. Your wife is resting on the screen porch. Why don't you join her?"

Chase nodded and went back inside.

Foreman came out next.

"Unless you want to tell me about a giant man eating banana in the bathroom, I don't want to hear it." Pamela said finally removing her smile.

"Those two are a mess. They are in no shape for moving."

"I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like, 'I don't want to hear it!'"

"There's a giant man eating banana in the bathroom."

"That's better. Tell me all about it."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chase woke up to the feeling of biting pain. He opened his eyes to find himself stretched out on a lounge chair on his screen porch, with the early evening sun bouncing off the front of the house, creating significant shade over his backyard. He looked over to find Cameron still asleep over in her lounge chair. "Oh yeah, what a great moving day." He muttered to himself.

He realized he would have to walk through his house to get his bottle of pain relief. He wondered if fighting the pain would be better. He was tiring of not having control of his mind. Another sharp stab after adjusting himself in the seat answered that question.

He carefully raised himself up out of the chair. The agony got exponentially worse. He moved at a snail's pace into the kitchen and found Foreman and Pamela unpacking a box of dishes. "You found our plates?"

"Yes, they were buried underneath your winter coats and athletic equipment in a box in the baby nursery. We can eat the Chinese food we got now."

Chase turned a nice shade of green when he saw the food and the smell hit his nose. "Thanks, but my stomach isn't very settled. Are you going to eat Chinese food with your fingers?"

"No, Cameron found the silverware earlier in the master bedroom. She was yelling at you over that." Foreman reminded him.

"That really happened? I thought I dreamed that."

"I'll get you some more pills. They can't be that bad if they made you that happy." Foreman retreated to the front room.

"Damn you look like hell." Pamela observed.

"Good, because I feel like it. I guess this wasn't the smoothest move in the world."

"Not by a long shot." Pamela wholeheartedly agreed.

Chase leaned on the island and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. "Thank you for doing this. We should have delayed the move as soon as I ended up in the hospital."

"No, there was no point in that. You just needed a little help. Of course unpacking will be a nightmare for you, so good luck with that."

Chase laughed, and then grabbed his back in pain. "No humor until after I've had my drugs." He pointed toward the screen porch. "She's been getting pretty tired lately. This stress isn't good on her."

"It's not good on you either. You only got out of the hospital yesterday."

"I'll be better in a few days. For her, it's only going to get worse before it gets better."

"I believe there is a cure for pregnancy. You just need to wait a few extra weeks."

Foreman came in with the Percocet. "Happiness has arrived."

"Thanks. Monday I start with a chiropractor. Until then, it's euphoric bliss for me." He popped a pill into his mouth.

"Monday is also when we start childbirth classes." Cameron said coming in from the other room.

"We start what?" Chase replied.

"Oh, didn't I tell you about that? Oh yeah, you were in surgery when I had to sign us up. Ooh, Chinese food!"

Chase shook his head, wishing desperately for the drugs to kick in quickly.

Cameron loaded up her plate and started shoveling food in her mouth at a furious pace. "You found the plates." She muttered with her mouth full.

Chase couldn't take anymore. "If watch her eat I'm going to hurl. I can't get sick until the drugs kick in. I'll be in the other room."

Cameron was concerned, but Pamela and Foreman laughed. "He'll be just fine in fifteen minutes," Foreman said. "Better than the rest of us."