I don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, it would be an hour of Meredith and Derek joy, love and sex!

Izzie walked in and checked on Meredith in the morning. She was sound asleep. Izzie was just hoping that she was at least happy in her dreams. She quietly shut the door and found her way to her car. Izzie didn't know what she was going to say to everyone. She didn't know whether she should tell her friends about what had happened. She was sure it would spread around the hospital like wildfire. She pulled into a parking spot and made her way to the locker room.

"So what the hell is wrong with Meredith?" Cristina said with an annoyed voice.

"Wha-- What do you mean?" Izzie said nervously.

"I mean she hasn't called me back. I called her a dozen times." Cristina retorted, pulling her scrub pants on.

"She's got..." Izzie started. "It's nothing..." Bailey stormed in. Izzie rushed to put her clothes on.

"Okay people. We are going to be working extra hard with Grey being off for a week. You all can thank her when she comes back! Rounds, now!" She yelled, they all marched with her like little soldiers. They walked into a patient room. "Yang, you present."

"Carolyn Jeffries is in for an aortic repair. Her condition was stable last night..." Cristina continued.

"It's your case." She handed her the file and they walked out and into the next room. "Stevens, you present this case."

"Mr. Travis is in for a Cervical Laminectomy." Izzie started.

"And what is that?" Bailey asked her.

"It is where a portion of the bony lamina is removed to provide more room for the nerve and spinal cord that is compressed." Izzie explained.

"Good." Bailey said. "Shepherd, she is all yours." Bailey and the remainder of the interns walked out.

"Okay Stevens..." Derek said, walking out into the hallway. "I need you to to get and x-ray and an MRI." She started to walk away. "Izzie, how is she?"

"Excuse me, sir?" She said, surprised that he had called her by her first name.

"How is Meredith?" He said with concern. He noticed her increasing nervousness.

"Um. She is great...why do you ask?" Izzie said quietly.

"I know." He said simply

"Know what?" She said innocently.

"Cut the crap Stevens." He said getting irritated. He was worried about Meredith and he wanted to know how she was. "I know that she was in a relationship with Dr. Carter. I have known for a while. Now you and I both know what has happened. She almost lost her job and Dr. Carter is gone. How is she?" Derek spat out. Izzie was shocked at his frankness. He had intimidated her.

"Um. She is okay. I mean, she was when I left. She was sleeping." Izzie explained.

"Well, that's good. She needs to rest." Derek said quickly. "Go do those tests."

"Right away, Sir." Izzie said as she jetted off.

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The surgery went well. Derek was right on the mark, and everything was successful. The whole time he thought about Meredith. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew she pretended she was tough, but it was a front. He knew how devastated she had to be. Earlier he had met up with Richard Webber in the elevator. He was coming back. Richard was returning at Seattle Grace as Chief. He was tight lipped about the situation, but he did say that Chase had gotten the Chief of Surgery position is Boston. Derek closed the patient up and walked into the scrub room.

"That was a great surgery, Dr. Shepherd." Izzie said gratefully.

"Have you decided what your specialty is going to be?" Derek asked her, glancing over.

"I'm thinking about Obstetrics." Izzie said happily. "I am happy to scrub in with you, though. Meredith is the one who wants to do Neuro."

"Speaking of her. Are you planning on checking on her this afternoon?" Derek asked.

"Uh, no. I don't think I will have time. I'm sure she is fine." Izzie said convincingly.

"What if she's not!" Derek said loudly, causing Izzie to look at him. "I mean, she could be--" Derek stopped. "Please follow our patient through post-op." He said, not even waiting for her to answer. He quickly walked out of the scrub room.

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Meredith thought about what her mother said. Maybe she was right. Maybe she has screwed everything up. Maybe she has dug herself into such a deep hole that she will never get out of. Maybe it was time to fill the hole back on. Only this time, with her in it. She climbed out of bed and went down to the liquor cabinet. No tequila. There was a bottle of bourbon and a bottle of vodka. She grabbed both. Next she went up to her bathroom and got in the medicine cabinet. She sat indian style on her bed and stared at it all. She thought about Nate. She had loved him so much that it had taken her over. And he just left. No note, no phone call. He just left her stuff in the middle of his empty apartment. And Chase. He left too. He loved her and he left. At least he told her. But it didn't make it much better. It still hurt. She didn't feel like she could do it anymore. It was over it was ending. She was circling the drain and she didn't even know if she cared. She opened the bourbon and took a swig, then the vodka. She grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills and took off the cap. So quickly it could all be done. It would be over. She poured out a pill into her hand. She looked at it and threw it into her mouth. She took a drink of bourbon and a drink of vodka. She closed her eyes and laid her head back. She repeated the step again, and again. Thoughts of Nate passed through her mind. This is the end, she thought as she looked around her room. She poured the bottle into her hand and threw them all into her mouth.

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Derek didn't know why he felt the need to go to her house. They were friends. Barely friends. Of course he was wildly attracted to her. But that wasn't it. He just had a feeling. He didn't have anything else scheduled until one, and it was only ten-thirty. He walked briskly to his Land Rover and climbed in. The traffic was unusually heavy and he was finding himself yelling at the the other drivers. He was feeling like he couldn't get there quick enough. Soon he pulled up in front of her house. He car was in the driveway, she was there. He walked up and knocked on the front door. No answer. He knocked again. No one came. Finally he turned the handle. The door opened. He called out for her, she didn't answer. He began searching the house. He was somewhat familiar with the house from helping her move in. He walked up at the stairs towards her room. Her door was open. He gasped. He rushed right over.

"Meredith!" He stuck his fingers in her mouth and began fishing out pills. "What the hell are you doing?" He shouted at her. He fished until he got all of the pills out. "How many did you take?" He yelled. "How many!" She didn't answer. She just stared at him. He grabbed the bottle and saw that there were supposed to be thirty. He frantically started counting out the pills. There were five missing. She would be okay if she took five. "How many, Meredith?" He said sternly, grabbing her shoulders. He was getting increasingly upset. He squeezed her shoulders gently, but firmly.

"Three." She said softly, not looking at his face. She couldn't look into his eyes. If she did, she would crumble. This would all become reality, rather than some warped dream.

"Why?" He asked quietly, putting his hand under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Why?" He said louder. She looked down. She laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. Derek sat in the chair next to her bed. After an hour, she was snoring loudly. Derek had no idea what to do. How could she even think about doing that to herself? He knew she was upset, but this was drastic. She was ready to end her life. Did she not know that people care about her? Her friends, her family, him. He cared and she probably didn't even realize it. He knew she would be out for awhile between the sleeping pills and liquor. He stepped out into the hallway and dialed his phone.

"Hi Richard, it's Derek Shepherd." He started out. His voice was weak. "I'm going to need some time off."

"Is everything okay?" Richard asked with concern. He could hear something in Derek's voice.

"I think so. I need a few days." Derek said quickly, he watched Meredith as she slept.

"Starting when?" Richard asked.

"Now, right now. I have a craniotomy scheduled at one. I can't do it." Derek said flatly. Richard could tell there was no arguing it.

"Okay. I guess I can call in Dr. Figy." Richard said slowly.

"That would be great Richard." Derek replied. "Thanks."

Derek sat back down in the chair next to Meredith. He slid his shoes off and leaned back. He couldn't understand it. What had gone so wrong? What the hell could have happened? He was worried. Not that she would die. He knew she would be fine. He was worried she would try it again. He was worried that she had given up. He laid his head back and sighed.

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"So Grey slept with the Chief." Alex spat out, as he sat down with his fellow interns.

"You are such an ass!" Izzie shouted. "I told you not to say anything!" She now had anger seeping out of her.

"What?" Alex said, defending himself. "Everyone is talking."

"Meredith slept with the Chief?" George said with shock in his voice.

"She didn't sleep with him. They had a relationship. It wasn't just sex. Hell, she was with him way before she started her internship. He was still at Seattle Presb." Cristina said matter-of-factly. They all look at her in shock. "What? I told you all that I knew a long time ago. I wasn't kidding."

"Seriously?" Izzie asked. Cristina nodded her head.

"So what happened?" Cristina asked Izzie.

"Dr. Carter came over and told her he was leaving. You should have seen her. She was crushed, she just laid on the floor. Alex had to carry her to bed." Izzie said quietly so no one else could hear.

"Oh poor Mer!" George said with concern.

"Why the hell didn't you call me? I am her person!" Cristina said defensively.

"I didn't know that you knew!" Izzie said quickly. "So now we need to fix this. No one knows why she is out for the week, so they are all guessing and making up lies."

"Not good..." George added.

"What can we tell them?" Izzie asked.

"It has to be important..." Cristina added.

"Death in the family." Alex suggested.

"Yeah, we could say that..." Izzie returned. "Her former in-laws. She had to go to the U.K."

"That might work!" Cristina agreed. Now they were all going to go about undoing the gossip. "I am coming over after work to see her."

"That's probably a good idea." Izzie added. They all joined together to protect their friend.

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Derek fell asleep. Between the long hours he had been working at the hospital, and the new emotional stress, he was exhausted. He dreamt that she had gone through with it. She was dead. It was devastating. He never even got to tell her how he felt about her. He jerked awake at the sound of a door shutting. He felt the tears on his cheeks. He had been crying in his sleep. The room was dark, the sun had long since gone down. She hadn't woken up, but she was okay. He looked up when her bedroom door opened.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd!" Izzie said in shock. Derek quickly jumped up, crossed the room in a few strides and went into the hallway. Cristina and Izzie just started at him. "What are you doing here?" Izzie asked. Cristina shook her head.

"What am I doing here? What am I doing here?" He asked angrily. "Well, I came here because you didn't. You guys call yourselves her friends, and yet you can't even come to check on her during your lunch break. God forbid you miss out on the lunchroom gossip!" Derek spat out angrily at them.

"She was okay this morning..." Izzie trailed off, trying to support her weak defense.

"You are lucky I came, she almost--" Derek stopped himself. He didn't want them to know. He didn't want people to question her.

"Almost what?" Cristina said in a sharp tone.

"Nothing." She said quickly.

"I want to know, she is my person!" Cristina said walking toward him. Izzie put her arm out in front of her.

"I would think as her person, you would have been here. Not me." Derek said. "What the hell happened to her? She was a mess." Izzie saw the look of concern in Derek's face. She softened her tone and explained how Chase left. Derek instantly felt horrible for Meredith. "Well, she is asleep. She needs someone to stay with her."

"We are here." Cristina stated boldly. "We can stay."

"Of you don't mind, I would like to." Derek said, taking a less defensive stance. His face looked tired and worried.

"Okay." Izzie said in defeat.

"Whatever." Cristina retorted. "If it's that damn important to you." Derek went over and sat back in the chair. The both walked downstairs to join Alex and George.

"How is she? Asked George.

"Dr. Shepherd is up there." Izzie informed them.

"Shepherd?" Alex asked with a chuckle. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The dude likes her."

"No he doesn't." Said George.

"He's McDreamy." Cristina said. "He has stars in his eyes."

"It's true. I guess we should just be happy that someone is here for her." Izzie added. "She wouldn't hurt herself would she?"

"No. Not Meredith." Cristina said as if she was stating the obvious.

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Meredith started to stir around one a.m. Derek woke up when he heard the bed move. He just sat there in the dark, staring at her. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Derek could see the tear stains on her face, in the moonlight.

"What are you doing here?" She asked rudely.

"Making sure you are okay." Derek stated softly.

"You can leave. I don't need you. I don't need anyone!" She said, throwing her blankets off.

"I think you do. You tried to hurt yourself!" He said sadly. "You could have died..."

"I am fine." She stated as she began to climb out of bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked, standing up.

"I am going to the bathroom, Dr. Shepherd. Maybe you should hold my hand. Maybe listen outside the door. If you hear running water, I may be trying to drown myself. Better hide the razor blades. Oh, the belt on my robe. I could hang myself with that!" She spat out as she slammed the door. She came back out a few minutes later and laid in the bed.

"Do you do this for all you interns?" She snapped angrily. "Do you just break into their houses and stick your fingers down their throats?"

"Meredith..." He trailed. His voice was sad and weak.

"Why did you come?" She asked, realizing that he seemed more sad and worried than she did.

"Your friends didn't. I had a--" He paused. "I had a feeling. I was worried."

"A feeling? You came because you had a feeling?" She chuckled. "I wasn't going to do it, Derek. I wouldn't have gone through with it."

"So you knew I was coming, right? You knew I would save you..." He said boldly, unconvinced.

"I don't want to kill myself." She said flatly.

"Why did you do it?" He asked simply.

"You can leave now." She said, closing her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere." He stated loudly.

"You will have to leave eventually..." She smiled. He was happy to see her smile.

"Ah, my dear. I have taken a personal leave." He smiled. "So, you are stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere."

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So Mer is hurting and Derek was her Knight in Shining...Whatever. This will get better. There will have to be a little more self destruction. When Meredith's life is sucking, she gets drunk and sleeps with inappropriate men, right? That's our girl! I am so glad that the site is fixed...