Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Naruto couldn't help but notice the amount of free ramen he received had increased. Which made him happy of course. Though he knew that eating eight bowls a day might be a bit too much.

Because his growing spurt had went and gone and he'd only grow sideways anymore.

Which was why he was feeling a bit self-conscious at the moment.

He fidgeted under his teammates stares. They were eyeing him like he would do to a bowl of ramen. And it was unnerving.

Was he getting fat? Were they secretly mocking him?

Naruto lifted the hem of his shirt, and to his utmost horror, his six-pack had vanished. He wasn't fat yet but he wasn't in the best shape either.

He glared at his tummy. So what if he was a little out of shape? It was because of ramen! It was forgivable. Besides, it was his teammates who constantly fed it to him anyway, they had no right to criticize him!

Naruto lifted his gaze from his tummy and his eyes widened in horror. There, in their eyes, was a different glint than before. And their stares were directed at his tummy. It wasn't a look he'd give to just any bowl of ramen. It was a look with a glint he'd give to a bowl of miso ramen!

Why were they looking at him like that anyway? Were they hungry? Did they want to eat him?

He let go of his shirt, letting it cover his stomach again, and gasped.

They were fattening him on purpose! And when he was fat enough they'd eat him!

"I'll never let that happen!"

Just as Kakashi appeared with Yamato-sensei, he saw Naruto run back to town with a panicked look on his face. The three students left on the scene looked a bit confused about Naruto's sudden departure.

"You didn't do anything inappropriate to him without me supervising it, did you?"

They shot a glare at their teacher.

"Why are you wasting time on glaring at me? Aren't you gonna chase after him?"

With a competitive glance to each other, they sprinted to the direction Naruto had run off to just now.

With a questioning look, Yamato turned to look at Kakashi, who had already pulled out the latest version of Icha Icha Paradise.

"Weren't we supposed to train?"

"They're freaking strong as it is. Besides, this is amusing."

Yamato-sensei shrugged before going after his companion who had started to walk towards the town.

-o-o-o-

If one wanted to draw Naruto's attention span, it wouldn't be very long. For the person in question hardly ever stuck on thinking unnecessary things.

Unnecessary things being almost everything.

And that might leave you thinking that Naruto seldom actually used his brain and thought about things.

But he did.

Because there were things worth thinking about. Like battle strategies. Or his friends. Being Hokage!

Oh, look. He's thinking right now!

'I've wronged.' He had stopped running shortly after arriving to town and was now wandering around, with a deep, thoughtful frown on his face.

'All ramen should be equal. Picking out favourites is wrong.'

So deep in thought, he failed to notice the ground starting to shake as something ran towards his direction.

He snapped out of it when a hand rested on his shoulder. Startled, he spun around quickly.

"I've broken my pledge!"

His teammates, who were still panting because of their little race, gave him a weird look at his sudden outburst.

"…Idiot."

"I'm no idiot, teme!"

Sakura secretly sneered at Sasuke. He only managed to get the blond angry. She pushed the broody boy out of her way and walked over to Naruto. Wrapping her arms around the boy, she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Why did you run away earlier, Naruto?"

She gave a sickeningly sweet smile to her two rivals. Sasuke glared and gritted his teeth at the kunoichi's actions. He'd chidori the girl to another dimension if it weren't for the ANBUs ready to kill him for one wrong move.

Sai wasn't affected; rather, he was inspired. Walking over to the boy, he took his other side and captured the boy to a hug.

"Yeah, why?"

Sasuke clenched his fists so that his knuckles turned white. Of course he wanted to hug the boy too, but would never do it in public. Well not before he'd claimed him for himself and had everyone else in existence know it. After all, he had a reputation to keep.

Naruto just looked slightly nervous. Of course he liked attention but physical contact was still a little foreign to him. What had even driven his teammates to be so cuddly anyway?

He fidgeted a little, trying to pry himself out of the double hug.

"M-maa, maa. I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

They let him go. He sighed in relief.

Sakura moved to stand directly in front of him.

"Say. I was wondering… Do you prefer men or women?"

Sasuke and Sai perked up immediately. So she was trying to cut off her rivals. There would probably be a higher chance that Naruto was actually heterosexual. Not that something like that would stop the two males chasing after him.

It would just mean that Sakura was a step ahead of them. Or then it would be the other way around. All three of them waited anxiously for the answer.

Completely forgetting that Naruto was so simple it was actually complicated.

Because Naruto looked at them like they were stupid. Why should he pick a preference between sexes? Did it really matter?

To him, it didn't matter if they were male or female.

"Why should I choose? I like both."

Because Naruto enjoyed having all kinds of friends.

His three suitors blinked.

Naruto was bi?

"Well if you don't mind, I have, uh… stuff to do. See ya!"

And with that the Kyuubi container vanished out of their sight. Giving one last 'he's mine, bitch.' look to one another, the three suitors went on their own way.

-o-o-o-

Sasuke had to admit it. Although he had been adored and sought after almost all his life, he really didn't know how to go about it when it came to him being the pursuer.

Sasuke needed help. Or rather, Sasuke needed advice.

And the first (and only) person he could think of was Kakashi. He had to know something.

Kakashi smiled pleasantly when he found him. He actually shut his book and asked if there was something he could do for Sasuke.

Sasuke felt like he was probably going to regret this for the rest of his life.

-o-o-o-

Sakura went over to Ino's. Because that's what girls do. They discuss their relationships. And Ino was perfect for that.

Sakura told her about the situation she was in. Ino sighed and told her that she was trapped in a love square of her own. Though she did admit that Sakura's was a tad bit more complicated. After all, this was about Naruto.

And Naruto tented to be slightly unpredictable.

Their night went by while talking about relationships.

-o-o-o-

Sai had turned to his favourite and most reliable source of information: books.

He remembered the former team seven's teacher reading a book where there was a man chasing a woman on the cover. And he had unconsciously drawn his own version of it, where he was chasing Naruto.

Conclusion being, that if he read the book and pictured him and Naruto as the characters, then he would surely get some answers on how to go about it.

So there he was, out in a park, reading through the first volume of Icha Icha Paradise.

Sai furrowed his brow while reading. Naruto (the woman) sure enjoyed kinky activities. Would they work?

He was interrupted by a loud voice.

"So, my boy! You seem to be enjoying my book?"

Sai lifted his gaze and saw a white-haired old man in front of him. He looked pleased about him reading the book. Sai raised an eyebrow.

"You're the author?"

The man crossed his arms over his chest and nodded proudly.

"Then you must know all about love?"

Stopping his earlier nodding, the man closed his eyes and let out a creepy (perverted) laugh that made mothers with their children take a longer route home, and passing ninja to look more alert. Alas, Sai, being already quite corrupted in his own way, didn't react in any way.

"I know all about making love."

Sai stared quite passively for a moment, making the old man wait for a reaction.

'Close enough.'

"Tell me all you know."

-o-o-o-

Naruto didn't know where the sudden urge to have a very long vacation in Suna suddenly came from.

To Be Continued...

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