I don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, I would be on the set right now, drooling over PD. Not writing fan fics.

Derek was trying to sleep in the uncomfortable chair. His back was aching and his ass had long since fallen asleep. The Seattle rain was pounding on the windows. The rain was so fitting at this point, he thought. Derek had fallen asleep, only to be awoken. His eyes opened and he heard her saying "Nate". He had no idea who Nate was. She was quiet after a few minutes. He sat there for awhile before falling back asleep.

Meredith woke up at nine a.m. She opened her eyes and looked over at Derek. He was asleep. Maybe I can sneak out and lock him in here. Then he would leave me alone. She flipped her blankets over and got right out of bed. She was still in Chase's Stanford shirt and pants. Derek's eyes shot open. He looked at her pajamas, he knew that those were his clothes, and it stung.

"Hey." He said as she stood up.

"Hey." She said grumpily. "You're still here..."

"I'm still here." He chuckled. She walked into the bathroom. He heard the toilet flush and the water run. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked horrible. She should be embarrassed to let Derek see her this way. At this point, she didn't care. She opened the door and came back out.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"No." She said flatly.

"You need to eat. When was the last time you ate?" He asked her.

"I'm not hungry." She answered, rolling her eyes.

"So now you are going to starve yourself to death." He said bluntly. "So when did you eat last?"

"I don't know. What is today?" She asked.

"Seriously?" He asked, she nodded. "It's Wednesday."

"Wednesday?" She sighed. "Okay. Two days ago. Are you happy?" She said quickly.

"No. You have to eat. Let's go." He said, pointing to the doorway. She walked out of her room. He followed right behind her.

"You know, if I stop fast, they will have to surgically remove you from my ass." She said bluntly. "I fuck the chief and get caught, and now my attending will have to be removed from my ass. That will be hard to explain."

"It's a nice ass to be removed from." He laughed. She didn't respond. She walked over to the refrigerator, grabbed a piece of pizza, and took a bite. He walked over to her and grabbed it away.

"That is just wrong!" He said quickly. "I am making you breakfast..." He started rummaging through the cabinets. "I hope you like pancakes." She nodded. He poured her a glass of orange juice and sat it in front of her. "You need the vitamin c."

"Thanks." She said dully, as she took a drink. He started mixing the pancakes.

"So. Do you wan to talk about it?" He asked.

"Not really." She said flatly. She stared at the wall in a daze. "My mother was here yesterday." She blurted out. She immediately wished she hadn't.

"What?" Derek said in shock. He had been here most of the day. It had to have been before he got there. "What happened?" He asked.

"Oh, you know... She told me that she was disappointed, humiliated. She said I was sleeping my way to the top. I was a waste...whatever." Meredith said as if she didn't care. She really did care. In fact it crushed her, that her mother was so disgusted by her.

"That's not true. You are not a waste." He said, looking into her sad, dark eyes. "Why would she say that?" Derek asked, more to himself.

"That's how she is. It's no big deal." She said, shrugging her shoulders. He knew that Ellis was the one who had pushed her over the edge. "I don't blame her. I got caught having sex with the Chief."

"Meredith, it was a mistake. You were dating him. It's not like she is saying. It's not like you were doing it to get ahead, and you know it." Derek said, handing her a plate full of pancakes.

"Thanks." She muttered. She slowly speared a few pieces and put them in her mouth. "They're good." Derek felt like he was making headway. They were communicating. It was just what she needed.

"Do you know where he went?" She asked, staring at the pool of syrup on her plate.

"To Boston." Derek answered. He knew just who she was talking about.

"That's good. He'll do good there." She said sadly. "He will be fine..." She trailed off quietly. "So who is going to be Chief?"

"Actually, Richard is stepping back in..." Derek said with a smile.

"Great..." Meredith spat as she dropped her face. Derek looked at her in shock. He didn't answer her. The room went silent for several minutes.

"So who is Nate?" Derek said with a curious smile. Her face hardened. She wasn't sure that she had heard him correctly.

"What did you say?" Meredith asked with a harsh tone.

"Nate. Who is he?" Derek asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"I don't ever want to hear you say that name again!" She seethed. She dropped her fork and walked upstairs heavily. Derek just stood there in shock. She hadn't even come close to eating all of her food. He cleaned up the dishes and headed upstairs.

"Meredith, I'm sorry. I didn't know." He said sympathetically.

She didn't even acknowledge him. He could see her body start to tremble. She was crying. He realized that whatever was bothering her had to do with Nate, not Chase. Who is Nate? Was she cheating on Chase with him, or the opposite. He stared at the dreaded chair, he had begun to hate that damn thing. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn't want to overstep the boundaries. He walked around the bed and looked at her face. Her eyes were closed, but the tears were apparent. He knelt down next to the bed and rubbed her shoulder.

"Please don't." She whispered sadly. He stopped and she immediately regretted saying it. "No matter what I do, I can't get ahead. Bad things just keep happening. I just want to be happy, Derek..." She said, as she opened her eyes. They were red and rimmed with tears. They didn't have to speak to communicate.

"It will get better, Meredith." He said quietly.

"See, Derek, that is the problem. It will get better. And I will be happy. And then it will come crashing down on me like a tidal wave." She said with dismay. "So, that's it. I am not doing it again. I am done forever."

"You can't do that. You can't cut yourself out from the world. You can't give up, Meredith." He told her.

"It's too late, Derek. I already have..." She said softly and she closed her eyes, letting one last tear escape.

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Meredith opened her eyes. The room was dark. She looked around as her eyes adjusted. The clock's red numbers read ten o'clock. She slowly climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. She couldn't do it anymore. She was done. She took a quick shower and got out, drying her hair. She threw on a lacy pair of panties and a bra. Didn't want to wake Derek up, so she crept out slowly and opened her dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans. The light snapped on. She stood there in her bra and panties with a deer in the headlights look on her face. She looked into his eyes and then began pulling her low rise jeans on and a black low-cut sweater.

"Where are you going?" He said in shock. He couldn't help but look at her curves.

"Out." She said as she slipped her boots on.

"Out?" He said with a puzzled look on his face. "What happened to being depressed?"

"Well, you said I shouldn't do that to myself, so I'm done." She said happily, and began to walk down the hallway. He followed her. "Where are you going?" She asked, stopping to turn around and look at him.

"With you." Derek said with a smirk.

"Oh no you're not!" She said loudly. Izzie peaked her head out into the hallway and listened. "I'm going alone!"

"Okay." He said.

"Okay?" She asked as she turned and faced him.

"Okay..." Derek trailed off.

"Okay, then" She said as she grabbed her bag, her keys, and walked out the front door. He followed behind her. She unlocked the doors to her Jeep and climbed in. Derek climbed into the passenger seat.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked, looking over at him.

"Coming with you." He said. "I told you that you were stuck with me!"

"Whatever." She said as she pulled out of the driveway. Meredith didn't say anything for awhile. She slammed her fist down on the dashboard.

"What are you doing?" Derek said in shock. "Now you beat your car for no reason?"

"No! The speedometer sticks." She told him matter-of-factly.

"Maybe you should think about getting a new car..." Derek stated.

"I'm not getting rid of Billie!" She shouted.

"Billie?" Derek asked with a confused look on his face.

"Billie Blue Jeep." She said seriously.

"Your car has a name?" He laughed. "Billie Blue Jeep..." He busted a stitch. She started to laugh with him.

"My friends and I named him. We were just cruising around one day and it came to us..." She said, thinking back.

"How old is this thing?" He asked.

"Um, well. I think he just had his twelfth birthday..." She said with a chuckle.

"Yep, you need a new car..." Derek added.

"Billie suits me fine." She said as she pulled into a parking spot at Joe's. She climbed out of the Jeep and walked through the door, hearing a familiar ding. She took a seat at the bar. Derek walked up and joined her.

"Joe, I'll have a shot of tequila." She said loudly.

"Coming right up..." Joe yelled back. "The usual, Doc?" He asked Derek.

"No, I'll just have a beer." Derek answered. He wanted to be able to take care of Meredith. Joe sat a shot of Tequila down in front of her. She slammed it down.

"Another, Joe." Meredith yelled. She drank the shot, the liquor burning all the way down her throat. "Which one?" She asked Derek.

"Which what?" Derek asked her.

"Which guy?" Meredith said, looking around. "One of them is going home with me tonight..."

"What?" Derek said in shock. It was like someone had punched him in the stomach. "You can't do that. You're in it the right frame of mind..." He explained, sipping his beer.

"Not in the right frame of mind to have hot sex?" She said with a chuckle. "I am always in the right frame of mind for that."

"It won't fix your problems." Derek said, looking at her. She didn't turn her head.

"Whatever." She said, slamming a shot. A guy sat on the stool next to her.

"I'm Ted." He said with a smile. "Can I buy you a drink?" He asked smoothly.

"Why yes, you can." She said with a seductive smile.

"A round for the lady." Ted yelled to Joe.

"Thanks." Meredith said as she slammed a shot down.

"So, what is a gorgeous girl like you doing here?" He asked, putting his hand on her thigh.

"Just looking for a good time." She laughed. "And it looks like I've found it."

"I think you have..." Ted answered, ordering her another shot.

"I'll be right back..." Meredith said as she got up, making her way to the bathroom.

"This one is going to be easy..." Ted said, looking over to Derek.

"I think you need to leave her alone..." Derek warned with a glare.

"I think she wants it. And I am just the man to give it to her, if you know what I mean." He said with a laugh. Meredith walked back up and sat down.

"So where were we?" She asked Ted.

"I think I was going to order you another shot..." He added. She was getting pretty lit.

"I think that is a fine idea!" She added. Derek sat next to her seething. He wanted to beat the man to a pulp. He rolled his eyes as they made conversation. He knew what the man wanted, and we wasn't going to let it happen.

"So, you ready to come back to my place?" Ted asked, sliding his hand down her back and resting it on her ass.

"Sure." She said, getting up.

"Oh I don't think so!" Derek said loudly. He had had more than enough.

"What?" Ted said with a laugh. "I think the lady has made her decision..." They got up and walked out the door and onto the sidewalk.

"I thought I told you to leave her alone." Derek said, walking behind.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Ted asked.

"This..." Derek said as he punched him right in the face, knocking him down. "Come on, Meredith." He said, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to the car. "Get in."

"No. I want to stay." She pushed him and yelled as she stumbled around. He grabbed the keys from her purse.

"Meredith, you are drunk, get in." He pushed her into the car and shut the door. He went around and got in. He started the engine and pulled out quickly.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She yelled.

"That guy only wanted you fro sex." He returned.

"No shit!" She yelled. "What do you think I wanted, to go back to his place and share our deep dark secrets by the fire?" She yelled. "You screwed it up."

"What?" He asked with surprise. "You want to go home with strange men?"

"Yeah." She slurred. "I am a whore, Derek. I like sex. I want sex. I just want some meaningless sex. That's all you boys are good for!"

"You are asking to be hurt..." He stated.

"Yeah, that only happens when you care." She snapped. They pulled into the driveway. She slammed the door and walked into the house. He followed her. She walked into her room. He walked in. She shut the door.

"Why the hell do you keep following me? Don't you have a fucking life?" She yelled. "Why?"

"Because I care. About you." He said. "I care about you..." He said softly. She shook her head. He was standing in front of the bed. She walked over and shoved him down.

"Wha--" He started to say.

"Shut up." She said. She straddled him and covering his mouth with hers. She forced her tongue inside. Their tongues meshed together perfectly. He could taste the tequila. She was so soft, so perfect. He had been dreaming about this for awhile. She rocked onto of him. She felt his erection through their clothes. She moved down and undid his belt and pants. She pulled them down.

"Meredith..." He said softy, she began to pull his boxers down. "Meredith!" He shouted. She came back up to his mouth and kissed him.

"Yeah?" She asked, kissing him again.

"We can't-- I can't do this. It's not right. You're drunk." He said, regretting that he had to say it. As much as he wanted to, he didn't feel right about it.

"What?" She said loudly, in shock.

"I don't want it to be this way..." He said.

"I'm drunk, and I'm saying yes. How much better does it get?" She shouted.

"I want to. I just don't want it like this." He said, climbing off of the bed.

"You have to be fucking kidding me! You punch the guy that was going to lay me, and now you won't do the job yourself!" She said angrily.

"I--" Derek stammered.

"Whatever." She said, laying back on the bed. "I just want some sex." He sat in the chair and sighed. They sat in silence for a long time.

"Get your ass up." She shouted.

"Why?" He asked quickly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. That's the problem." She said, rolling her eyes. "If you aren't going to get the hell out of here, you can sleep in my bed. That chair is not comfortable." She said plainly.

"You're sharing your bed?" He asked in shock.

"Yes, hurry up. It's a limited time offer." She said quickly. He walked over and laid on the other side of the bed. "No touching me." She said.

"Hey, I just refused sex. Do you think that will be a problem?" He chuckled

"Seriously." She huffed. "You are the first to refuse. I think I am losing my touch." She sighed. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He said with a smile. She laid there for a long time then rolled over facing him. His eyes were closed. She just stared at him. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes. They just stared at each other.

"When was the last time you were happy?" She finally spoke.

"I'm happy right now." He said with a small grin. "When was the last time you were happy?"

"May 20th, 2005." She said slowly. The last day that she was with Nate.

"What was on May twentieth?" He asked.

"It was the last time I was happy." She said avoiding the question.

"Well, we are going to have to do something about that." He said with a big smile. "So, do you want to talk about Nate?" He said softly, praying it didn't set her off.

"No. I can't. I can't talk about it. It hurts too bad. Okay?" She said quietly.

"Okay." He answered.

"How did you grow up?" Meredith asked.

"I grew up in a middle-class family. My dad died when I was fourteen, but my mom was always there for us. I have three sisters, all doctors. They all have kids. Lots of kids. My mom is big on family." He explained.

"That's nice. I never had that. My dad left when I was seven. Well, my mom drove him away." She said sadly.

"I'm sorry." He returned, looking into her eyes.

"Me too." She whispered, closing her eyes.

-----------------

Derek's pager went off loudly. Meredith and Derek opened their eyes almost simultaneously. They were in each other's arms. They were holding on for life. Meredith jerked back. She wanted to stay in his arms forever. He made her feel safe. But she knew this couldn't happen. He grabbed his pager.

"Crap. I am off today." He said with an irritated voice.

"It's okay, go." She said stretching her arms.

"No. I said I would stay. You need me to stay." He argued.

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Do you promise you won't hurt yourself?" He asked with a serious look on his face.

"I was never going to..." She trailed off. "Fine. I promise. Now go!" She told him.

"I will come back." He told her as he gathered his things.

"It's fine Derek. You have a life." She argued.

"I'll be back." He said, walking out of her room and down the hallway.

Meredith laid there for a long time. She had no idea what she was going to do. She had four more days off. She knew one thing for sure. She was not going to any coffee shops. Her head was aching from last night's fun. She remembered Derek punching the guy, which made her laugh. He was such a dork. Mister Protector. Now that he was gone, she kind of missed him. She made her bed and took a look around the house, it was immaculate. Izzie must have felt sorry for her, and went on a cleaning spree. There was nothing to do. She went upstairs and cleaned her room up. She was moving things in her closet when a box came down on her head. Pictures of she and Nate flew all over the room. She ran downstairs, grabbed her purse, keys and climbed into her Jeep.

-----------------

"Hey, Joe." Meredith muttered.

"Hey. A little early for you. Are you here for lunch?" Joe asked. Her face dropped. "I'll take that as a no."

"I need tequila." She said grumpily.

"Meredith..." He said.

"What?" She spat. "Just give me tequila."

"Fine." He said, sitting down in front of her.

"Keep them coming." She said quickly.

"Do you want to talk?" He asked.

"No." She returned. "I want to drink." Meredith slammed down several shots. She sighed as she began to feel the effects. She had eaten in a very long time, and it was working quickly. "Another."

"I think you've had enough." He said boldly.

"I think I know when I've had enough." She shouted, causing the other two people in the bar to look in her direction.

"Meredith. You are obviously hurting. I consider you a friends and I won't help you tear yourself into pieces." He said strongly.

"So, are you refusing me?" She asked. He nodded. "Fine, I will just go to the bar down the street!" She said, throwing down money and walking out. She walked down the road to the bar on the corner. She had never been there. It wasn't like Joe's. It was dark and depressing. Just how she felt.

"I'll have a shot of tequila." She told the bartender. He was an older man. He slid the shot over to her and opened his mouth. "I don't want to talk. I am here to drink. Keep them coming." After an hour, she was feeling very lit. A man sat down next to her. She looked over and smiled.

"So, you're in a bar at eleven in the morning." She grinned. "You're either A, depressed, or B, a drunk."

"Uh, well, probably A, but becoming B a little more each day." She smiled.

"I'm Drew." He put out his hand.

"Meredith" She said, shaking it.

"Do you come here often?" He asked.

"No, it's my first time." She mumbled.

"Me either. I'm just in town for a few days." He said, taking a drink of his martini.

"That stuff will kill you." Drew said, pointing to the tequila.

"The sooner the better." She joked. "Tequila and I have a close relationship."

"I haven't drank the stuff since college." Drew told her.

"It's never to late to try it again." She laughed.

"Bartender, I'll have a shot of tequila." He said, looking over at her.

Meredith and Drew did shots for a long time. She was tanked and he was pretty lit himself. They had shared more then a bottle of tequila.

"Do you want to come back to my place and have a little fun?" Meredith asked.

"Don't mind if I do." Drew answered. "Bartender, call us a cab." Drew yelled.

Meredith and Drew stumbled into her house. They left a trail of clothing going up the stairs. This is what she was good at. She was in her element. She was no stranger taking strange men home. They crashed onto her bed. It was rough, it was dirty. Several hours went by. Finally around midnight Meredith couldn't take it anymore. He was snoring. He was a stranger. She didn't want him in her bed.

"Get up!" She yelled.

"Wha- What?" He said groggily.

"I brought you here to fuck me. You did your job, now you can go." She said bluntly.

"Are you kidding me?" He said loudly.

"No! If I wanted to listen to a man snore in my bed, I would get a boyfriend. So, go!" She said, shoving him off the side of the bed.

"Shit!" He yelled climbing up from the floor. "It's midnight. Where am I supposed to go?" He huffed.

"I don't care. A park bench, a hotel an alley. Just out of here." She told him, he turned the door-handle and walked out. "See ya..." She yelled as he walked out. Meredith sighed as she closed her eyes. She missed Derek. She wished he was in her bed. She closed her eyes and opened them when she head her cell phone rang.

"Hello." Meredith stated.

"Hey." Derek said. "I got pulled into another surgery. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm still alive." She told him with a chuckle.

"Have you been drinking?" He asked her, he noticed her slurring.

"Maybe." She said with a smile.

"Oh, Meredith... You're sure you're okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." Sh told him.

"I'm going to stay at the hospital tonight." He said quietly, regretting saying it.

"You aren't my keeper. You can stay where you want." She answered. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Meredith." He hung up the phone and sighed.

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So Meredith went home with a stranger. I hate to break it to you, but he won't be such a stranger...The Mer/Der is so close I can feel the sparks...