Disclaimer: I don't own it, (unfortunately enough...)
A/N- I think this is the longest chapter ever! Just over 4000, wow... STOP SAYING IT IS CONFUSING! I mean, at least be constructive... WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED "M" BECAUSE OF BAD LANGUAGE! I did not feel the need to change the entire rating of my story, because I have refrained from using really harsh language in all other chapters except this one. Another warning: HIGH LEVEL OF ANGST! RUN AWAY!
Chapter 16 - Circles
Hello?
A long pause. What do you want now?
Please meet me tonight?
No. I've said no and I'll keep saying no.
Please? Just one more time?
No.
I'll be better. We'll talk... face to face.
You know we can't stand seeing each other. Someone will end up dying.
Haha. I'm serious.
So am I.
Please?
Fine, but no touching.
1 o'clock then?
Sure.
Bye.
Bye.
Ginny saw him waiting there as she flew toward their tower. The sky was clear and she could see him entirely well. When she touched down, she let him come to her.
"Ginny," he said in greeting. His tone seemed almost jovial, cheery.
"Malfoy," she replied with a polite nod. She was not wearing her hood, but he was. With one quick motion, she reached up and pushed it back so his face was revealed. His eyes darted around nervously and she noticed his hair was slicked back. Odd..
"How are you?" he asked with a slight grin.
"Get to the point," she snapped and sat down, crossing her arms.
"Well, I-" he cut himself off and there was a long pause.
"Spit it out," Ginny commanded.
"What have I done to make you so angry?" he asked, looking down at his feet.
Ginny cackled crudely and leaned back so she was laying down, eyeing the stars thoughtfully. "I can't believe you're asking me that," she murmured.
Draco sat down next to her. "I really want to know."
"Do you?" she said as if she was vaguely listening. Several minutes passed in silence.
"Is it about Harry?" he asked evenly.
"Are you two on a first name basis now?" she inquired, smirking at the sky.
"No, it slipped. About Potter, I-"
"Yes, I know. You don't want him to touch me and you don't want me near him and I'm your's now yaddah yaddah.." Ginny said in a cocky tone. When he didn't say anything in response, she turned her head to look at him. "What? You're not gonna hurt me?"
"Why would I hurt you?" he rasped.
She turned on her side so she could see him better. "Are you okay?" she asked him as she studied his face intently.
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" he answered quickly.
Ginny rolled onto her back again. "No reason."
"What are we?" Draco pondered aloud.
"I wonder that myself sometimes," Ginny replied.
"Are we friends?" Draco pressed.
"Why are you acting like this?" Ginny shot.
"Like what?"
Ginny began to get up. "I have to go," she said, a slightly concerned expression upon her face.
"Why so soon?" he got up as well.
"I just- I don't feel comfortable around you. I'm going," she explained, reaching for her broom. He stepped towards her and she withdrew her wand in a blur of motion. "Stay away from me."
He lifted his hands up in surrender. "Ginny-"
"This is wrong. This is so wrong," she said to herself as she mounted her broom. Without looking back, she took off. She flew behind another tower and hovered in midair as she rubbed her face wearily with her hands. What was wrong with him tonight? She felt like he was trying to trick her into something. The best thing to do was to leave. She shouldn't have come in the first place. She rubber her temples as a severe headache pounded inside her head.
"Ginny?"
Ginny nearly fell off her broom at the sound of the voice. When she regained her balance she looked up to see Draco peering down at her from the top of the tower she was behind. "Why are you following me?" she snapped. Her head was threatening to split open with pain.
"I'm not following you! I've been here for an hour or more! I should be asking you why you're stalking me!" he shot back angrily.
"What?" she asked as she rubbed her forehead distractedly. "What? What are you talking about?" Her head felt light and the world spun around her. "You were just-" she closed her eyes. "You were just with me!" She gripped her broom tightly in fear.
"I think I would remember having to deal with such a brat if I had," Draco drawled.
"Stop lying! This- this is not the time to be-" she took several short breaths. "-difficult."
"Fine, I'm leaving," he said. He disappeared from the ledge.
"Draco wait!" she tried to yell, but her voice was weak.
"What?" he snapped at her, leaning back over the ledge.
"I'm going to fall!" she squeaked in a panicked tone.
"And I care, why?" Draco mused.
"Draco!" Ginny cried.
"Fine, fine, fine..." he muttered and disappeared again.
"Draco!" she screamed as she started to fall.
"I'm coming!" he whined and looked back over the side of the tower with his broom in hand. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed as he saw Ginny plummeting to the ground. He leapt off the tower and onto his broom. He pointed his broom straight at the ground and accelerated to the fastest he could go. Just as he came up next to her, he veered into her and grabbed onto her while turning up as quickly as he could. He succeeded in doing so but his feet scraped against the cobblestone in the process and they nearly crashed anyways. When he was done escaping from the ground, he hovered in midair. Carefully, he resituated Ginny so that he didn't have to carry all her weight. Honestly, he didn't have too much arm strength so she was pretty heavy. Not only that, but she was quite conveniently passed out so she didn't get to witness his courageous rescue. "Damn," he muttured. When she was securely placed in front of him, he wound up around a tower and set them down at the top. Draco let his broom clatter to the roof while he sat down with Ginny in his lap. "Ginny?" he whispered at her. "Ginny, wake up!" he said louder, shaking her.
Suddenly she flung out her arms as if to catch herself and opened her eyes. "Draco!" she shouted.
"Yeah, that part is already finished with. Sorry you missed it. You can just thank me now," he drawled.
Ginny began to shake violently and proceeded to just stare at him. He realized she must be in shock. Draco hugged her tighter to try to get her to stop shaking and make her feel secure. "It's okay now. It was just a little fall," he told her. He heard a muffled sound against his chest and easily denounced that she was crying. Not knowing what to do, he silently stroked her hair. Without warning, she leaned away from him and vomited on the stones next to them.
"Ew..." he murmured, drawing her back away from the mess and scooting over a bit. Her sobs had turned into constant sharp breaths like she was hyperventilating. "You know, I was a little scared too. I kept imagining you being instantly smashed into several pieces of bloody, mashed flesh. Little clumps of body everywhere..." Ginny whimpered audibly in response. "Oh, well maybe that wasn't the best thing to tell you," he said quietly. "What should I say? I mean, I couldn't really t-"
"Shh Draco," Ginny squeaked, her voice quivering violently.
"Don't 'shh' me, I'm a hero!" he snapped.
"Who are you?" she asked, her voice telling him that she was about to cry again.
"Draco?" he tried.
"I'm going insane..." she whispered, pulling Draco's cloak around her as well.
"Then I am as well," he said. "Oh the insanity! They should lock us up!" It seemed Ginny was no longer able to speak as she didn't answer again. "That's right, use me as your personal cushion," he voiced sarcastically. He felt something hard by Ginny's stomach and he reached in her robes to retrieve her journal. He shifted her up so he could see around her. "Lumos," he ordered with a wave of his wand. It took a while, but with one hand he was able to open the book to the last page that contained writing. He read it intently and felt himself growing angrier and angrier. "Ginny?" he shook her again. She groaned and hid her face against his chest. "I didn't write all this Ginny. I wasn't the one you were with earlier. They must have used some spell, I don't know..."
"I don't care," she grumbled.
"Don't care?" he cried incredulously. "What did they do to you while you thought it was me? Did they take advantage of you? Did they threaten you? Did they dance around in circles just to make me look stupid? Then you'll always have that mental image of me dancing about like an idiot. Well, that's too far. We can't be together if that's the case! I couldn't stand to see you close your eyes with such smugness as you recall my little dance routine! No, it's over!"
"First of all Draco," Ginny began in a drowsy voice. "We aren't together and never will be. Second of all, nothing happened with the false Draco. I knew it wasn't you, so I left before anything could happen. That means no dancing." She wasn't exactly being honest when she said she knew it wasn't Draco. It was true that he seemed awfully strange to her, and she was uncomfortable, but she didn't exactly jump to the conclusion that it wasn't really him. However, it did make her sound smarter to say she did.
"Who was it then?" he asked coldly, returning to his usual demeanor.
"Well, he looked like you," she said.
"Obviously," he snapped.
"Then how the hell am I supposed to know who it was if they looked just like you?" she growled.
"Apparently, you seem to have some sixth sense concerning people's identity..." he muttured and she knew he was making fun of her.
"Oh shut up," she spat.
"Fine, I'm leaving," he said, trying to adjust her position so he could get up.
"Not without me you're not," she said, hanging onto him so he couldn't escape her.
"All hot for me now?" he inquired with a sneer.
"That or I'm stuck at the top of a tower with no means to get down," she replied.
"You could just fall again," he drawled.
"Why are you so mean to me?" she yelled.
He stared at her for a moment, and then pushed her off of him. Slowly he got up and picked up his broom. After mounting it, he turned to look at her with a detached interest. "Well, are you coming or not?" he asked.
"Not like I have a choice," she mumbled as she climb on in front of him. He kicked off and they rose high into the sky above the school. "Just take me to my dormitory, Draco," she said loudly to be sure he could hear her.
Suddenly they began to dive towards the ground at a fast pace. A ways before they reached the ground, he leveled off and began flying slowly along as he scanned the ground. "We need to find your broom," he whispered. "It should be over-" The broom swerved around a corner and stopped.
"What did you do that for?" Ginny hissed.
"You must be blind," Draco said and for some reason she felt him tighten his grip around her.
"I have perfectly fine vision," she retorted.
"Well, then perhaps you saw your broom lying dashed upon the ground then," he said.
Ginny could tell something strange was going on. "Well yes, I saw it," she replied quietly.
"But you just failed to see your little loverboy standing over it?" he asked crudely.
"I don't know anyone who fits that definition," she said evenly.
"Hint, it's not me..." he prompted though he could tell she knew who it was by the way she stiffened in front of him.
"What is Harry doing here?" she asked.
"I didn't invite him, if that's what you're asking," Draco replied.
"Move up a bit so I can see him," she ordered. When they came to the corner of the building, she leaned forward so she could peer around it. Sure enough, Harry was kneeling down by the broom pieces. In one hand he held his wand and in the other he held... "Shit!" she hissed. "Move back!"
"What?" he grumbled when they were out of sight again.
"Set me down on the ground and leave," she commanded in a stern tone.
"No," he answered.
"You must set me down right now!" she pleaded.
"So you can go running back to your stupid boyfriend and cry in his arms about how terrible your evening has been?" he drawled.
"No Draco, you don't understand," she said.
"I understand perf-"
"Set me down now or I swear I will snog Harry right in front of you," she warned.
"Don't you remember you already have?" he asked.
"Draco, listen to me. Harry has a map with him that tells him where everybody is. Right now he can see that we're-" she suddenly stopped talking and Draco saw she was staring at the ground. He looked down to see Harry standing directly beneath them, illuminated by the moonlight. He had his head tilted back and was staring up at them in silence. She was pretty sure it was too dark for him to actually see them, but he knew they were there for sure.
"Ginny?" Harry said quietly. Ginny felt herself being crushed between Draco's arms.
"Draco, you're hurting me," she whispered, but he didn't seem to hear her.
"Ginny!" Harry called, louder this time.
"Give me my journal and put me down next to Harry," Ginny tried again.
"No," Draco replied evenly.
"I'll scream," she threatened.
"Tell me you're mine," Draco rasped.
"I'm not a possession," she retorted.
The broom started floating downward, but Draco was holding her so tightly she couldn't move. She felt his breath on her neck as he whispered, "I will always keep you from him."
"You can't keep me from anyone," she snapped. When they reached the ground, he released her and she almost tripped onto her face in her urgency to get off. Harry took her hand and protectively pulled her away from Draco. Before anything else could happen, Ginny put her arms around Harry's neck, leaned up, and kissed him passionately on the lips. Harry's arms moved around her waist and pulled her closer. After a few minutes, she pulled away and sauntered back over to Draco who looked adequately menacing. "You don't own me and I can be with anyone I want," she whispered. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. When they parted, she handed him her journal. "You can keep this. Thank you for saving my life, but I never want to speak to you again. Leave me alone." Harry came up behind Ginny and reached for her again.
"Don't touch her," Draco growled under his breath. He was glowering at Harry with a smoldering eyeful of intense rage. Harry's hands paused before they found Ginny's waist.
"Did you find-" Hermione stopped talking the second she rounded the corner and noticed them all standing there. She slowed her pace as she approached the group. "Oh hi Ginny, er, nice to see you." When Hermione was standing next to him, Harry put his arms around Ginny's waist and pulled her back to him.
"Go away Malfoy," Harry commanded haughtily, exceedingly proud of his victory.
"What are you holding Hermione?" Ginny asked, twisting her head around so she could view the little book the older girl was carrying.
Hermione's eyes grew rounder and she glanced down at the journal she was holding. "Oh," she said almost in surprise, "oh, it's just a study book."
Ginny withdrew from Harry, studying everyone's faces with a wary scrutiny. "You were out here studying then?" she asked quietly.
Hermione stole a glance at Harry, then looked back at Ginny. "No, well... I was in the common room studying when Harry came charging down the stairs talking about you and Malfoy being off together. In my haste to catch up with him, I must have taken the book along."
"I don't see a title... I would have said it was a journal and not a book, if I were asked," Ginny continued.
"Oh, it's kind of a mixture," Harry added in dumbly to try and explain.
"How dare you invade my privacy!" Ginny said, her voice shaking with anger. "You took advantage of me and Draco."
"Ginny, it's not Hermione's fault," Harry mumbled.
"I trusted you the most Hermione!" Ginny told the other girl. "Why did you two do this?"
"Malfoy is a dirty git and we wanted to help you get away from him..." Harry tried, but had the decency to look ashamed.
"Away from him?" Ginny shouted, backing up further. "You're sounding like Slytherins!"
"Ginny, keep your voice down," Hermione said, looking around nervously.
"I BLOODY WILL NOT KEEP MY VOICE DOWN!" Ginny yelled. "I am so bloody confused right now..."
"Ginny-" Harry began, reaching out for her.
"Don't touch her," Draco growled again.
Ginny spun on Draco. "What the hell is your problem?" she yelled. "Stop trying to control me!" She turned so she was facing everyone. "You're all trying to control me!"
"Ginevra-" Draco began in a sullen tone.
"Don't call her that!" Harry snapped.
"Shut up!" Ginny shouted. "He can call me whatever the hell he wants to as long as I don't mind! It's my effing name!"
"Ginny, calm down," Hermione pleaded.
Ginny took several deep breaths and closed her eyes. Her voice came out forced, "Someone just take me to my dormitory."
Draco and Harry both stepped forward at once, glaring at one another. Ginny turned to Draco, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier." He didn't say anything but pulled her onto the broom with him. Hermione leapt forward and grabbed hold of the broom.
"Don't Ginny," she said. "You can't keeping running from Malfoy to Harry."
"I don't think either of them will be seeing much of me anymore," Ginny snapped and she felt Draco's arms curl around her protectively. "By the way Hermione, would you give me that journal?" Her tone was of mock-politeness.
Hermione glanced back at Harry nervously. "It's not yours, Ginny," she mumbled.
"What?" Draco asked with a sneer. "Give her the stupid book, mudblood."
Ginny elbowed Draco in the gut as hard as she could and then held out her hand for the book. "Give it, Hermione," Ginny ordered.
"No," Hermione refused. "Maybe you don't know what's good for you, or what's right and wrong, but we do."
"Fuck you!" Ginny spat. "Give me the goddam notebook."
Hermione looked like she'd been slapped. "Look you little brat, when are you going to wise up or... grow up at least?" she asked, her voice dripping with loathing. "All of the sudden two guys are chasing after you like some sort of object to compete against each other with and you're playing dumb to it all. Malfoy would kill Harry if given the chance. When, I'm wondering, did Harry stop being your friend? This bloody prat shows up and you start abandoning all the people you really care about?"
"And who, might I add, have never really cared for me," Ginny retorted.
"Of course we care about you, Ginny!" Harry burst. "Why do you think we're trying to stop all this shit?"
"To control me like everybody else! The second Draco shows an interest in me, you're suddenly all over me? I grow some fucking breasts and you finally notice me? " Ginny yelled. "I'm not as stupid as you might presume, Hermione. You always think you know everything better than everyone else, don't you? And I'd bet Harry likes to think he's the grand master of pain, right? Was Voldemort was inside your head, Harry? Was he? You didn't have to deal with him manipulating your feeling every fucking day, did you? Did you, Harry?" Her voice was rising in pitch to a hysterical rant.
"Voldemort killed my parents, Ginny! He didn't have a little love affair with me in my diary!" Harry gushed angrily.
"A love affair? A FREAKING LOVE AFFAIR? Imagine loving someone so deeply you would die for them, Harry. Then imagine finding out they wanted only to murder the people you love and destroy you as well! I loved him! I loved him more than I've ever loved - or will ever love - anybody else!"
"You loved him? How could you love him? He's not even a person anymore! He's a murderer and- and a..." Harry seemed unable to find a bad enough word to describe Voldemort.
"He was a kid once just like you! Tom was a kid!" Ginny defended.
"You're defending him?" Harry shouted. Ginny felt chills down her spin when she realized she had been doing just that.
"Shut up, Potter. Leave her alone," Draco warned icily.
Harry stared at Ginny with contempt. In a very quiet voice, he said, "Fine, go with him. Just- just don't ever come to me again."
Ginny felt a great wrenching at her heart. "Harry-" she started.
"GO!" Harry shouted. He stormed over to Hermione, grabbed the journal, and threw it at Ginny.
Draco released Ginny with one arm and caught the journal with ease. Ginny continued to stare at Harry, tears brimming at her eyes. He was the boy she loved for so long and Draco was nothing, less than nothing, to her. Why did she feel so tormented inside? Only someone she loved could make her feel this way, but how did she love him now? Without thinking, she launched herself off the broom and threw her arms around Harry. With the force of her weight, he was forced to sit down and she collapsed on top of him. "That day..." she sobbed. "That day the death eaters almost had you... I felt like you were gone. I felt like you died. I didn't save you at all, Harry. I was stopped. I let myself be stopped because I was weak. You were screaming... screaming inside my head..." Harry put his arms around her as she fell into gentle weeping. "I had to stop it..."
"I'm fine now, Ginny. I'm really fine," Harry whispered.
"Then when we were lying there together and you were kissing me... I needed you because I thought you weregoing to leave me soon. I thought maybe you were just a ghost or I was imagining you. Then Draco got me, and I thought he was a ghost too. Before, near the common room, he was so weak and I thought he would die right on me and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't save him just like you. Harry..." she seemed to be surpressing more tears. "I - I knew that I should've been trying to save him all along. I should have been saving him, not you... You don't really need me, Harry, not like he does. I'm sorry-" she tried to move off of him, but he held onto her.
"I need you, Ginny," Harry said. Hermione and Draco were both staring at the two with rapt attention. "He won't just take what you offer him, he'll want all of you until there's nothing left but... what he's made you!"
Ginny leaned up to his ear so only he could hear her. "I can't ignore it, Harry," she whispered. "I have to help him, like he helped me."
"Helped you?" Harry asked incredulously.
"I had nowhere to go, no one to go to. Before he had a face and a name, he was just there for me. I loved him before I knew who he was and then when I found out..." she swallowed, "...it was just like Tom... all over again..."
"He is like Tom, Ginny," Harry replied quietly. Ginny made a noise that sounded like a strangled scream into his chest.
Draco stepped forward, but Hermione blocked his way. "No Malfoy, this isn't your place," she said coldly.
"Ginny..." Draco sounded slightly frightened.
At the sound of his voice, Ginny lifted her tear-stained face and turned to look at Draco. After a few moments of staring at each other, Ginny stretched out her arms toward him. Quickly, he moved past Hermione and lifted Ginny into his arms. Harry made a sound of protest, but Hermione stepped out of their way as Draco headed back to his broom. Hermione and Harry watched silently as Ginny's red hair slowly disappeared into the night.
"Fuck," Harry muttured.
Extra bonus!
Here are the lyrics to the song that titled this chapter..
Warning: Extremely irrelevant!
Circles
Circles...
She's spinnin' me around in circles... again
Oh that skinny blonde girl
Somethin' about the ages
I failed college algebra, again
Whoa that skinny blonde girl
She took me to different places!
Like the university bookstore!
And the financial aid office!
I had to borrow her parking pass!
Workin' on the night staff!
At the computer lab!
I totally found out her screen name!
Oh that skinny blonde girl!
And the circles and the ages and the ages!
Beautiful!