Disclaimer: 'tis already the ninth time I say this: I do not own the characters used in this story. There. Go and be happy.

Sasuke would be an insulting and most likely violent love too. Because that's just the way the two of them were. Nothing would probably change, because Sasuke just wasn't the changing type of person. And when it came to Naruto, Sasuke would just love roughly. Not that he expected anything else from him.

Sakura would be perfect and colourful love. First of all, Sakura was a girl. If he wanted to have a real family she could actually help him with that. Also, they'd been around each other so long, they knew each other almost completely. Though Naruto had to admit, after ears of rejection, he saw her more like a sister. Besides, they would make an amusingly bright couple, all orange and pink.

Sai would be a clueless and perverted love. Both of them were kind of dense and not that innocent minded. That would probably only lead to kinky things. He felt like it wouldn't last very long.

Neji would be destined love. At least according to the said Hyuuga. To be honest, he didn't even know why the proud Hyuuga would fall in love with him. Because he kicked his ass? How romantic.

Hinata would be shy love. To tell the truth, Naruto doubted he'd have anything to talk about with the girl. Not that Naruto would have any trouble on talking for the both of them.

Gaara would be distant love. Because Gaara lived miles away. And Naruto knew that they weren't in love. Everything close to it, yes, but actually in love, no. Besides, lovers were supposed to spend a lot of time together and seeing how Gaara was the Kazekage and Naruto the to-be Hokage, it would be near to impossible.

Naruto hated his situation. It wouldn't have been a problem if only one of them had confessed. Then he would have probably just gone and done it, because he would do anything if it was for his friends. The fact that Naruto didn't love them wouldn't be a problem; he'd just try and try and try until he did. Naruto was, after all, no quitter.

He didn't want to reject any of them, because that would make them sad and he would be the cause.

"So what should I do?"

Takuho paused momentarily from poking the campfire with a stick and looked at his teacher.

"Why are you asking me?"

Against the popular belief, Naruto was actually quite good at escaping when he put his mind to it. So, after having brilliantly evaded his three chasers, he went to see the Hokage and asked for a longer mission to him and his team. Tsunade had been a bit concerned of her baby brother but Naruto convinced her that he was fine.

So after spending his night in the forest (in order to not be found), Naruto went home, packed quickly and left with his team.

"Throw dice to decide!"

Takuho kicked Niko's ankle after seeing their sensei actually considering his idea.

"They should have a bloody battle over you! The last man alive wins!"

Mira was a little bit too cheery saying that. It was hard to tell whether she was joking or actually serious.

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

Mira closed her eyes, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"I don't even know why you're friends with those freaks. I mean, they must be crazy strong and look like they're ready to rip you to pieces if you piss them off somehow."

Niko nodded at her every word. Naruto just laughed and rubbed his neck sheepishly.

"Ain't that the truth!"

His three students were a little worried. They didn't know how strong their sensei was, but they doubted him being able to handle those three, even when he claimed them to be friends.

He would be better off without any of them. That's why they refused to use the movie cliché 'what does your heart say?'

"Just leave them be and find someone you'll fall in love with. Someone like, say, a perfectly normal commoner town girl."

Takuho and Niko nodded, agreeing with their teammate. If it was someone less threatening, they might entrust their teacher to their care.

"Argh! This is not helping at all."

Naruto sighed in frustration. He'd have to come up with something within a week, because as soon as he stepped through Konoha's gates, they were surely going to corner him, demanding for answers.

And to think that he hadn't even said how he felt about Sasuke. He was sure it would just make the smug bastard's ego grow even more. But he knew he'd have to do it eventually, because let's face it, he knew exactly how far the three were ready to go to get something they wanted, even if they claimed to be in love with the person they would have to rip the answer out of.

Sighing again, Naruto prayed to some gods that he'd have some sort of solution by the end of the week.

To be continued...

About the voting

It figures that SasuNaru would prevail. But now I feel bad for those who wanted him with someone else. So I thought I might write alternative endings! So in a way he'd end up with everyone XD

Am I a genius or what? I guess the answer's no.

But anyway. I have so many options with this story! I still could make Naruto end up with anyone! Even Itachi who got 2 votes. That was kinda amazing considering he hasn't appeared in the story at all. XD

Anyway, if I turn out to be too lazy for the alternative endings, there's always my favourite solution to everything. That being killing Naruto and everyone ending up unhappy!

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

:is too lazy to dodge the objects thrown her way:

Read and review!