Okay if your still reading that is great, it means I have done something right... or maybe something horribly wrong and your kinda like a by-stander at a train wreck and just can't look away. In that case I'm sorry!

As always I own nothing, and wish I did. Sadly I am just a poor person trying to rectify some of the mistakes made too hastily by the filming corporations.

Thanks to Stephanie, Rachel and Sara for all of their help and support throughout this piece!

2 Memory Lane 2

Shalimar looked up at the daylight filtering through the broken walls. It was only early afternoon. She stared down at the journal again, wanting nothing more then to continue reading it, but wanting to continue her search for remnants of her leftover life as well. Resolutely, she stood, tucking the journal in her bag, and walked up the stairs, avoiding with an agile leap the two that were in danger of collapsing under any weight at all. She looked through the living area, making her way to the hangar bay. The fallen debris made it difficult to pass, but with her agility she was able to sneak through by climbing and twisting. She wasn't sure what she was looking for, but for some reason she felt she needed to check in here.

The door to the cage had been pried open and was hanging on the bottom hinge. Shalimar saw the disarray that the Dominion soldiers had left and frowned. She searched the racks, and just when she was about to give up, a glint of light caught her eye. Bending down to examine it, she found it was a disk. She was almost positive that they would have all been collected by the Dominion. It was caught in one of the rails on the shelf, but had suffered only a minor scratch.

I should be able to see what is on here, she thought to herself as she put it in a side pouch of her bag to keep it protected.

Shalimar walked out and noticed that the door leading to the cliff was open, and before she knew it she was walking out to the cliff face where Adam's and Emma's names were carved. Peering around the corner, almost scared to see if their memorial had been destroyed, she planted one foot in front of the other, determined to see this through.

The memorial still stood, and she let out a breath of relief that she didn't know she had been holding. Emma's ring was gone, but that was expected. Shalimar sat on the rocks and looked down at the bay watching the water churn. Sitting here she decided that she wanted to read just a little more, and pulled out the journal again. She found it a soothing balm to her aching heart to once again be in someway close to both Emma and Brennan.

October 29, 2001

Would I give up my powers? Just for another person, even if they were the one? I don't know how to answer that. I've been rolling that around in my head for the past day, and still can't answer that question for myself. Which is why I was so shocked that Shalimar was able to so quickly. I've only known her for a few weeks, and I always thought I was comfortable with my abilities, that was, until I met her. She just seems to emanate comfort and control with her feral side. I have been fairly comfortable for a few years now, but after meeting her, I think I have been fooling myself. Emma thinks that it has to do with the time that Shalimar has spent with Adam, and Shal's acknowledgement of her abilities from and earlier age; who knows maybe one of these days I'll get up the guts to ask her. I can honestly say I'm glad that she is still part of the team. I'm getting to know her and Jesse better, and I have to admit to liking them a lot more than I thought I would. That could be in part because they went to the wall for me, and kicked ass to save my life.

Being shot with that beam last week and almost dying was a little too real for me even. My life has been in danger a lot, and I've probably been just as close to dying a few other times, but not being able to do anything about it was the worst part. I found out what it is like to really be part of a team though. Jesse really went out on a limb for me; even though he joked that he was just trying to keep the weapon from falling into Eckard's hands. The whole team worked to make sure that they kept me alive. Emma stayed with me most of the time; she and Adam told me about what happened when I was finally in any shape to understand it. Of course Adam told me in technical terms, and Emma had to translate. I wonder if he makes everyone feel like they lack more then average book smarts.

I've never had anyone who would put their lives in danger just for me. Jesse was so nonchalant about it, I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I have a feeling this whole team thing is more like a family thing sometimes. Have I been inducted into a family without knowing it?

Jesse and I are getting to know each other better. He can still be way too serious sometimes. It's going to take a while to get him to lighten up. I mean come on; I know we were on assignment looking for Donna, but couldn't he be happy if I got us some dates out of the deal? He really must have missed how cute that bartender's smile was, as well as her other attributes; asses like that aren't a dime a dozen.

Speaking of asses… I think Emma really enjoyed making Jesse and I feel like a couple of 'em when she followed us into the bar. We meant it when we didn't want to see her get hurt, but I guess she was hell-bent on proving us wrong. She must have been training when we weren't looking because she is getting a lot better. The first time Shal really sparred with her; Emma spent more time on her ass than fighting. I offered to kiss it and make it better, but she did this thing where she mentally kicked me in the shin. I guess that is a no. She wants to join me and Jess tomorrow when we spar; I guess this will be interesting.

Shalimar smiled to herself, remembering Richard. He was the definition of 'lust at first sight. Part of her wondered what would have happened if she and Richard had had more time. Another part, an admittedly larger part, was glad that she stayed. She also remembered Emma's foray into the physical combat realm, and how hard she wanted to be pushed. Shalimar remembered nights when the guys would go out that Emma would beg her to train so she could get better, faster, and stronger. Shalimar still missed her, but the hurt had become bearable, and was no longer a part of everything she did and saw, the way it had been for so long after she'd lost her friend.

They had come close to losing each other more times then she cared to admit; thinking back now, she remembered how scared she felt each time. Did Brennan know just how much he meant to them even after the short time that they knew him? Adam had stated he wanted an outlaw, but did he foresee just how much of an asset Brennan would be to them?

Shalimar had promised Lexa she would return by five. She still had a little time left. Happy to be out of the safe house for more than an hour or so, she decided to sit and read a little more and reminisce…

November 4, 2001

I admit that I have met some whacked out people in my life, but this Kilohertz guy was definitely in the top five. First he almost kills Jesse and Shal because his broadcast fried the Helix, and then he goes on a psychotic rampage. I feel like I actually was able to help save my team though, and pay them back a little for saving my life. However, I was corrected quickly by Shalimar when I said we were even; she said, "We're a team, and that always makes us even." I think this can be a running joke between us though. I wonder what will happen to Kilohertz…Barry… now that the GSA has a hold of him? He could really cause some damage.

Barry has this amazing ability, and he doesn't even realize all that he could do with it. I mean hell I wouldn't destroy the stock market, but I would definitely take advantage of the monetary prospects! I better hope Adam never sees this… But ohhh the possibilities!

Speaking of possibilities… I have this hot prospect that I met at the bar tonight. Jade, sexy name, and boy does her name live up to her looks. I was denied a more thorough exploration of her assets, but she gave me the 'not on the first date' line; she will most definitely be worth the call to find out. We have been so busy around here lately I hope I get a chance to see more of her soon!

I have taken up a new game lately on the dating scene. I decided to try being different occupations when I pick up girls. So far I have found that no matter how good I'm looking, working as a car salesman will get me nada. I told Jade I work as an electrical engineer. I thought it had a certain irony to it. I used to always use the classic car restoration guy line, and that worked most of the time. Boredom in dating land must really be getting to me if I have been trying to make a new game out of meeting girls.

The girls I live with on the other hand… I think they have some kind of immunity to my charms. I guess that is good because I don't want to get involved with people I work with. I have seen how messy that can wind up. Emma has a good sense of play with me, but I catch her flirting with Jesse every now and then when she thinks no one is looking. I guess she likes the attention that she gets around here. I can't blame her. It's nice to have a stable environment and people you are comfortable being around.

Shalimar is amazing. I sparred with her for the first time a few days ago, and she whooped my ass badly. If it was any other girl I might be offended, but I have sadly accepted that I'm pretty sure she can kick my ass without breaking a sweat. Does it make me a masochist if I think that's hot?

Adam is getting me more involved in the underground workings of Mutant X, and I am amazed at the work that some of these people are doing. They could be thieves living the high life if they chose, and yet here they are working for the good of the world. I mean pulling the tricks they do past the GSA to get the new mutants through checkpoints are nothing short of genius. I'm supposed to meet with this guy Rick soon to help relocate a married couple. Rick just recently pulled the wool over the GSA's eyes getting though a checkpoint. I don't know how he did it and he told Adam that it was just between them. Maybe I will get it out of him when I see him.

November 18, 2001

The past two weeks should have taught me to listen to Adam, but we all know that won't stick for long. I mean last week I was stuck being eyed like a piece of meat and driven insane by a married couple, while the rest of the team nearly died trying to save the entire new mutant population. I still can't believe that Rick is dead. He was such a great help to the new mutant underground, and all because of some stupid viral strain he is gone. I hated feeling so useless. That's what I was though. I was just sitting around like a babysitter for two of the most annoying married people of all time. Supposedly married people; wouldn't know it by the way they were cheating on each other. To top it off every ten minutes I was being mentally undressed. Ugh, now I know what the girls are always bitching about when we go to the clubs and those idiot guys leer at them.

I think I have a better grasp of Emma's abilities after my experience with Ashley. I have never imagined being inside a person's head, or whole being for that matter. I now know almost all of her secrets, and the bad side is that she now has a ton of secrets that I would never share with anyone.

I was amazed at what I saw and felt though her eyes. I saw Ashley's memories of walking in and seeing her mother screwing Ashley's boyfriend right on the kitchen table in a dingy apartment. I felt what she felt when she saw it. I felt the hurt that she felt when she was betrayed by Eric.

I talked with Emma tonight about how she deals with all the emotions she is bombarded with on a daily basis. She is pretty good about keeping a wall up and not letting most of them through now. She told me about the other night when Shalimar came home and locked herself in her room not even letting Jesse in; that it was impossible not to feel her emotions rolling off her and slamming into her like a freight train. I pried for more information, and Emma told me straight up that it's private, and if I want to know what happened I'd have to talk to Shalimar myself. I guess I won't know anytime soon.

Speaking of Shal, we're getting along well and I'm starting to really feel a bond with her that goes beyond casual friendship. I enjoy working with her probably the most out of the whole team. We are both reckless at times and love a good adrenaline rush, so maybe that is what is great about working with her. I just don't know if she would be open to me prying into her life just yet. She did tell Ashley that she thought of me more as a brother, and part of me was thrilled that, after just a little while of knowing me, she had placed me at that status. I don't know how to explain the other half of my reaction though. I am by no means as close to her as she is with Jesse. I know she would do anything for him and vice versa, but I guess that is what over five years of living together will do for you.

In some ways I think that is why Emma and I are close; it is not the amount of things we have in common, because those are few and far between, but the fact that while we are accepted and cared about by the others, we don't share the history that Adam, Shalimar, and Jesse do. Sometimes it gets annoying when Jesse will say something and Shal or Adam just crack up and start laughing, leaving Emma and me clueless as to the history of the line or particular name.

Ashley swore to me that my secrets are safe. There are some things in my past that I never want my … well family … to know about. That didn't feel as awkward to write as I thought it would. Maybe things are finally starting to fit together for me here. I have training in the morning. Adam is a little crazy sometimes. He loves to do things early. Doesn't he understand that some people like to sleep till nine or even noon? There were many days I wasn't going to sleep till after the times he wants me up and training.

I was surprised to get another book of poetry though. It's a hard back of Whitman too! I am looking forward to reading it. He has a way of describing things that makes you almost think you are right there looking and experiencing it for the first time. I guess it fits in with this new life I'm making for myself.

Shalimar wondered then what had happened to all of the people that had been put in stasis pods at the GSA. Were they all dead? Did Ashlocke free them only to enslave them? This she would probably never know, but she couldn't stop herself from lamenting over the fact that there were so many new mutants they were unable to help, even with the continued existence of the Underground.

She smiled to herself remembering her first sparring session with Brennan. Emma and Jesse had pulled up seats to watch, and Jesse was threatening to sell tickets after the first two minutes. Both of them harassed him for a week at least. She never told Brennan how much she had held back her strength, but he probably knew. He had never told her that he enjoyed sparring with her.

A part of Shalimar screamed in jealousy when he talked about other girls, but she chided herself, remembering that, in the beginning, they weren't as close. They were new teammates and tentative friends. The first job they worked together was with Kilohertz after all.

Looking up, she realized how late it had gotten, and she hadn't even noticed. She quickly packed up the book and did one last sweep without finding anything else she would be able to get to without a lot of probably futile effort. She walked out to where her motorcycle was parked. It wasn't as nice as her old one, but it was fast enough to satisfy the daredevil in her. As she mounted the bike's seat, she gave one last look to the ruins of her old home, and with that look Shalimar Fox said goodbye to it and the life it once contained for her.