Thank you all for the reviews. The good news is that this has been a WIP for almost a year now, and I'm closing in on the final few chapters now. So this means I will probably add a chapter here every few days.

Just a little background before going on. This story started out as simply journal entries and evolved over the course of time to become an out and out work that took on a life of its own. Brennan became my key player for the entries because of his love to read which was expressed a lot in the first season. I just kinda figured that most people who read a lot also have a tendency to write so I went with it. This story revolves mostly around Brennan and Shalimar, but there is a healthy dose of Jesse and Lexa thrown in for those who love them too. Beau and Angel are characters from the first season ep Dark Star Rising, in case ya don't remember them.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Literally, no joke. If you want to sue me good luck. I can save you the attorney costs and give you the $2 to my name right now. The characters from Mutant X (Shalimar, Lexa, Brennan, Jesse, Angel and Beau) are owned by Marvel and Tribune... If I owned them I might have kept them on for a few more seasons!

Okay - on with the show.

3 Different Times 3

Lexa was pacing the floor of the warehouse she and Shalimar now called their temporary home.

"Could you at least pick a different track, Lexa, you're starting to wear the carpet?" Angel said as she watched Lexa pass her for the umpteenth time.

"I'm sorry, but this whole thing with the Dominion has me trying to figure out what to do next. I also don't like that Shalimar has been gone most of the afternoon, it's getting dark and she's still not back." Lexa said seating herself in front of a makeshift computer terminal.

"I know it's not easy, but we will get everything back on track." Angel said. At that moment, she heard a door open, then close. "Shalimar's back." she added quickly as her feral hearing picked up the sound of Shalimar's motorcycle.

Shalimar walked in to find two sets of eyes boring holes into her. It reminded her of the time Adam caught her sneaking in late. "What?" She asked innocently.

Lexa was not having any of it, "Do you know what time it is? You said you would be back over two hours ago. What do we do if you're caught too?"

Shalimar was tired from her activities that day and in no mood to deal with Lexa's freak out. Although Shalimar loathed admitting it, she would have been the same way. "I was doing something that I needed to, and I can't tell you anymore then that. I'm sorry." She said as she walked past them to the makeshift bedroom. She felt a small ounce of remorse for her lie, but she couldn't be honest with Lexa just yet. Not about this.

To her dismay Lexa didn't drop it, but followed her and continued on her tirade. "You know how important it is for us to stick together. We are all each other has right now. If it weren't for Angel and Beau God only knows where we would be! You have to show them some respect too you know!"

"I had to do something, and I have shown them respect," Shalimar ground out, "I haven't been going out at all, but you should already know that because you are cooped up with me here watching me crawl the walls day in and day out."

"Shal," Lexa said softening her voice "it's been almost three months since we saw them and we have to stay together." Never in Lexa's life did she think she would be the advocate for team and companionship, but this team had changed her in less then a year, and now she was trying to hold what was left of them together.

Shalimar turned her eyes down; she knew exactly who Lexa meant, Brennan and Jesse. They had been gone exactly 84 days, and if Shalimar could have seen the clock she would have been able an accurate hour and minute of the last time she had said her flippant "see you later" to them. She could still remember Brennan's mouth tasting like the cinnamon toothpaste he used, and the fact he had splashed on too much cologne. She looked back up at Lexa's expression of something akin to fear, or as much as Lexa would ever let show through her schooled mask.

Beau and Angel had taken on a lot of danger and responsibility when they found Lexa and Shalimar camping out in an old safe house. The ex-Dark Star operatives were more then happy to accept the challenge if it meant helping Mutant X. They had met up about 3 or 4 weeks after Jesse and Brennan were abducted. Shalimar and Lexa were getting by but had almost been caught several times. With Beau and Angel's help they were able to stay some place for more then a day or two, and they had been able to locate information on Brennan and Jesse. It was better then they had managed alone.

"I'm sorry Lex, I had to get out, and get away for a little while. I didn't mean to worry you and there was no way to let you know I was running late." Then, in a softer voice, "maybe we can get some prepaid cell phones or something to keep us in contact." They still wore their comrings, but they were more a symbol then anything else. Without Sanctuary's system they might as well have been plastic deco jewelry.

"Yeah, maybe," Lexa said as she turned to exit the room, as she reached for the door she paused, "I haven't given up hope yet either, Shal, but we need to focus on ourselves and our lives too, you know." She continued out without a backwards glance.

Shalimar lay on her side on her bunk. She knew that Jesse and Lexa were returning to the involvement that they once shared when the guys left and it wasn't easy on her either. Every time Lexa and Shalimar walked into possible holding places thinking they might have finally found Brennan and Jesse both girls' hearts cried out. There were a few times that their scent couldn't have been more then a few hours old.

Shalimar considered Lexa lucky for the simple fact that Lexa couldn't smell how close they had gotten, or smell the blood that Shalimar had on one of the handcuffs, and know that both of the guys were injured as well. She tossed and turned for a little while before digging Brennan's book out of her pack and opening it once again.

December 3, 2001

People are always surprising me. Toni going straight and agreeing to help Adam with all of the safe house systems is great. I just remember the girl who would love nothing more then to crack the system of a bank and re-route money all over the place just for the fun of it. She even cleaned up criminal records for John, Andy and me. I was shocked to find out that I no longer had any warrants listed. She is a great girl, and I'm glad that she and Jesse hit it off so well; although the excessive PDA's are enough to make me nauseous. She promised to keep in touch, so at least I'm not saying goodbye to an old friend again.

The Valentine's are doing well from what Adam has told me. Parents will always be a mystery to me. How could Corbin think he was doing his son any good? I thought that real families were always supposed to be caring and accepting no matter what. I guess that was wrong. I know that my mom didn't even care to know me, let alone what I could do, and my step dad was just interested in teaching me how his belt felt when I messed up or he was drunk. As for my real father I used to wish that I could find him and ask him why, but then reality sets in and I just wish I could kick the crap out of him for all the years that I spent in that house. I want to blame my mom, but for some reason I never can. Is it a complex against abuse of women, I wonder, or is it the fact that she was so abused by everyone else that I never had the heart to blame her? Whatever it is I wish I had been able to make peace with her before she died.

Christmas is coming up soon, and apparently it is a big deal around here. Adam, Jesse, and Shalimar are planning on a huge dinner, and they are already talking about getting a tree from outside. Emma is getting into the idea. She said that her foster family used to love the holidays, and bake all kinds of cakes, cookies and pies. Needless to say I am looking forward to that. I have no idea what to get anyone though. I barely remember what a Christmas is supposed to be like. I guess I will figure it out.

Shalimar contemplated about their family, and how she Jesse and Brennan had grown together. They had been there for each other through a lot. Emma too had been part of it, and then Lexa. She had once said she would fight to the death if something threatened her family. Most days she wished that the solution to their problems was that simple.

December 26, 2001

I think I might actually be turning into one of those crazy people that enjoy the holidays. I actually got presents. Adam got me several more books, including Robert Frost and Henry David Thorough. I was surprised that Jesse got me a new game for the computer, and Emma got me a few copies of movies I had been talking about, and a few more books. Shalimar got me several new CD's I wanted and a few new shirts that I think are Boss and a bottle of my favorite cologne. Of course this is only part of my payment for being tricked into helping Shal get the damn tree. It stands at least 10 feet tall without the stand! Thankfully we had the snowmobile or we would have never gotten it back here.

I am not forgiving her anytime soon though. She starts out with asking me if I want to go out for a ride with her. Jesse and Emma are playing chess and Adam is out. I figure sure. It snowed a few days ago; it should be kind of pretty out, and I have been cooped up for a few days now because of the weather. It was pretty, pretty fucking cold! I was hanging off the back of the sled squeezing Shal for dear life; she drives like an insane person. I know that I am crazy driver too, but I actually thought we were goners a few times. She just laughed and went faster though. We must have gone about 10 or more miles when she finally stopped. Shal was just all too smug that she almost had to pry my death grip off her. I have no couth or suave in me when it comes to that woman sometimes.

It was strange; I have never been a woodsy person by any means. I pretty much am happy with the city, fast food, smog, and cars, but for one moment I really appreciated the outdoors. We were standing on a ridge overlooking a valley still covered with the snow that had fallen and some rolling hills where a stream snaked through. There was a road and a few driveways leading to a handful of houses with smoke curling out of their chimneys, the trees had a frosted appearance with the snow still covering them. I felt like I was watching a living painting. It had to be after 9 at night, but it was so bright I could make out one of a dog running around on one of the lawns with some children making snowmen. Shal just stood next to me looking down at the scene and smiling. "I love to come up here and watch. Simple people living simple lives," she told me. I don't know why, but I pulled her into a one armed hug as we stood there. For a moment I felt closer to her then I have to anyone in a long time.

That moment passed too quickly for me, especially with what followed. Next thing I know we are back on the sled, and careening through the woods as mock speeds. We only went for another 10 minutes or so this time. We pulled up to a tree that was easily twice the height of Shalimar, and she says this is it. I try to stop the inane question of "What's it?" Before it comes streaming out of my mouth, but too late! She walks over to the side of the snowmobile and out of a cover pulls a two person saw and smiles at me.

For the next half hour we are sawing down this tree, and I really hoped I proved to her how bad of a choice I was to take with her. I almost smacked her in the head with the saw a few times because I kept bending it and snapping it back and forth. At least she was skilled enough for the both of us. She had the tarp ready to go, and pushed it down right on top and cinched it all up behind the sled while I stood there looking like Rufus the slack-jawed stooge.

We didn't get back to Sanctuary till after 1 in the morning, and Shal decided it would be best to get the others to help us move it in the morning. I'll never tell her, but I that was my first experience with a real Christmas tree. She doesn't realize that she made my Christmas special just by making me feel like part of it. I guess that's why I was in such a good mood when Jesse and I were being ordered all over by Emma who was trying to coordinate the decorating. I think I'm glad Christmas only comes once a year though. It has been exhausting, and they want to take down the decorations in a few days. What's a guy to do? Maybe I'll beg for an assignment far away.

That was their first Christmas together. She remembered dragging him out to the bluff and the mess that they had almost made of getting that damn tree. He really had never been nuts about the outdoors, but he had tolerated it so well when she babied him. Shalimar remembered this being the first time she had really spent a lot of time alone with him outside of working together on assignments, and how she had felt a connection there as well. That was why she had wanted him to join her. She wanted to develop a bond with him. She had one with Emma, but hadn't achieved one with Brennan yet, at least not as deep, and wanted to be able to feel him better. He was part of her pack now, and she wanted him to know this. Thinking these thoughts she finally drifted off to a restless sleep with the book still clutched firmly in her grasp.