I don't own Grey's Anatomy!! Although, I think that is quite obvious...

"Are you sure you are ready to go back?" Derek asked with skepticism.

"Derek, I am fine." Meredith said with a smile. "I can't wait to get back to the hospital."

"You were only off a week!" Derek said unhappily. "You don't need to push yourself."

"Yes, I do. You have been waiting on me hand and foot. I don't even know if will be able to do anything for myself ever again." She said with a giggle.

"Well, it's a good thing I like to take care of you." He said as he attacked her neck with kisses. "You do have to eat a good breakfast. How about some muesli?"

"Are you kidding me? If I wanted a bowl full of cardboard with milk, I would have gotten it already." She said scrunching her nose.

"It's not that bad. And it's good for you." He said with a smile.

"I'll just eat a breakfast bar or something. I don't want to be late." She said nervously.

"Alright. But I want to see you eat a good lunch..." He warned.

"Okay. Whatever you say." She said with a giggle. Derek grabbed his bag and walked out the front door and onto the porch. Meredith followed behind him slowly.

"Are you sure you are ready, Mer?" He asked again with concern.

"Derek..." She said as a warning. "I am fine."

"Fine like you were when you came home from the hospital too early?" He asked.

"No! Fine, fine..." She said as she walked passed him and got into his Land Rover. He followed her. He tried to help her in.

"I can do it myself!" She shouted as she swatted at him.

"Okay..." Derek said, shaking his head as he walked around to the driver's seat.

"Oh, Drew called the other day..." Derek mentioned as he threw the car into reverse.

"Yeah, he told me." Meredith said quickly.

"He called again?" Derek asked, looking over at her.

"Yeah, yesterday. He was just checking up on me." Meredith said with a faint smile.

"Oh." Derek said flatly.

"What?" She asked, sensing his tone.

"It's just weird. He's my cousin, and he calls you more than me. That's all." He said quickly, not wanting to start a fight.

"Derek. It's no big deal..." Meredith said defensively. "Drew and I are just friends."

"I know." He said, dropping it. "So, I bet I can guess what you will be doing today..."

"Ha, ha, funny!" She said coldly. "It is better than being at home."

"Thanks..." He said defensively.

"I just hate being cramped up." She said quickly. "I like to work."

"So, I was thinking about dinner tonight..." He started. "How about that little italian restaurant you love?" He asked as he pulled into the closest parking spot near the door, so she wouldn't have to walk far.

"Sounds good." She said with a tired smile. She opened the car door, and began to walk towards the entrance. He jogged to catch up.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked as he caught up.

"No, why?" She asked with a puzzled look.

"No reason." He said as they both walked onto the elevator. The elevator was packed. The door dinged and they walked out.

"Have a good day." He said as he kissed her softly. He stopped to smell her hair. Neither cared who was watching. "You smell so much better when you use your own bath products." He said with a chuckle.

"Have a good day." She said softly as she turned to walk away.

"Heeey!" Izzie screeched as Meredith opened the locker room door.

"Welcome back." George said cheerfully.

"Thanks guys!" Meredith said as she pulled her scrubs out of her locker.

"You haven't called me!" Cristina pouted.

"Sorry. I've just been--" Meredith started.

"Too busy with Shepherd?" Alex suggested.

"Resting." Meredith returned with a glare. Meredith pulled off her jeans, and threw her scrub pants on. Then she pulled her top off. The other interns looked at her.

"Oh...Mer." Izzie said sadly. "Are you sure you should be back already?"

"No shit." Alex returned. "I think I see more black and blue on you than white."

"I am fine." She said quickly pulling her clothes on. "It just looks bad, okay?"

"Grey? What the hell are you doing back here already?" Miranda asked as she walked into the locker room.

"I'm ready." Meredith responded as she walked up to her.

"Okay, then. Stevens you are with Shepherd, Yang you're with Sloan, Karev you're with Montgomery and O'Malley you are with Burke." Miranda told them. They all scattered.

"What about me?" Meredith asked quickly. "The pit? Scut?" She suggested.

"I don't know." She said as she thought. "Um, you just follow me around today."

"What about the pit? Maybe a case will come in... There are always sutures..." Meredith told her. Miranda just looked at her. "Why don't you want me in the pit?"

"I'm not sure that you are ready." Miranda said. She would never admit it, but she wasn't sure that she herself was ready.

"I am. I really am." Meredith said convincingly.

"Nope. Follow me. I am sure there will be some rectals that need to be done sometime today." Miranda retorted. Meredith followed.

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"So when are you going to let my friend come home?" Izzie asked with a chuckle.

"What?" Derek asked as he looked through the scope.

"You have been keeping her hostage." Izzie stated jokingly.

"Not against her will." Derek replied.

"We miss her. George has been all mopey. And I have been baking and no one is there to eat it." Izzie explained. "She used to eat like a dozen double chocolate muffins a week."

"I guess I didn't realize you guys needed her so badly." He said as he glanced over at her.

"So how has she been?" Izzie asked. "I mean really?"

"You know Mer. She puts up a front. She says she feels like a four pain-wise, so it's probably a seven." He said frankly. "She is so damn stubborn."

"You can say that again." Izzie laughed. "I couldn't believe the bruising she has when I saw her this morning."

"Yeah well she was through a lot." Derek explained. "Physically and emotionally."

"Has she talked about it?" Izzie asked with concern.

"A little. She just gets upset. I almost wonder if it's a Stockholm thing." Derek suggested.

"Seriously?" Izzie asked in shock.

"I don't know. She is adamant that he was a good guy. What kind of guy takes someone hostage? She almost died. She could have died..." He trailed off.

"Wow. Why would she defend him?" Izzie asked. "Maybe Dr. Bailey should have made her do the Psych consult."

"I beginning to wonder. She seems fine. She insists that she's fine. But I don't see how she could be..." Derek answered.

"Well, I don't think it would be wise for either of us to tell her that!" Izzie said loudly.

"I think you hit the nail on the head there!" Derek said with a chuckle.

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Meredith lazily walked over to the lunch line and looked at what they had. Peanut butter and jelly...no. Ham...no. Pudding...no. Nothing looked good. She finally grabbed a container of chicken salad, even though she wasn't really hungry. She looked at the tables and finally spotted her friends in the corner. She wasn't in the mood to talk. But she couldn't just sit somewhere else. She walked over and sat down in her seat gingerly.

"Hey. So how is the first day back?" George asked with a big grin. She didn't meet it, she kept her scornful gaze.

"Fine." She said, as she pushed her chicken salad from one side to the other.

"What did you do?" Izzie asked, trying to get her to talk.

"I saw her hanging out with Bailey. How much does that suck?" Cristina said with an evil laugh.

"I followed Bailey. She is treating me like a three year old that has to be supervised. And then I did rectals. So yeah. It sucks." Meredith said, throwing her fork down.

"Wow. Someone is...pleasant." Alex said loudly.

"I think you pushed it too far..." George chimed in. Derek walked up from behind and kissed her on the neck. She jumped at his touch.

"Whoa. Calm down, it's just me." He said with a smile. "So how is your day going?" He asked.

"Uh, I wouldn't ask that, dude." Alex suggested.

"Why not?" Derek asked.

"She is being Super Bitch." Cristina said coldly.

"Why can't everyone just leave me alone?" She shouted. "Everything is the same! Nothing has changed. I am tired of everyone asking how I am. If I was scared. What he looked like when he blew up. I am fine. I don't want to talk about it. So don't freaking ask me to!" She yelled loudly.

"Sorry." Izzie said softly.

"I didn't realize." George replied.

"So, you did promise you would eat a good lunch." Derek said with a grin, changing the subject.

"I am." She replied.

"No, you are playing with it." He teased. "Do I have to feed you?"

"No. I am learning to manage with my left hand. Even though it is retarded." She told him.

"You actually got McDreamy to hand feed you?" Cristina asked, giving Derek a pathetic look.

"You wouldn't believe the things I get Derek to do for me." She said with a grin.

"Okay...It's time for me to go." Alex said as he got up.

"Me too!" They all said as they fled the scene.

"See, that's how to get rid of them." She said with a smile. She spooned some chicken and barely made it to her mouth. Derek busted out laughing.

"What?" She asked.

"You are too funny." He answered as he stood up. "I am going to get some food. I will be right back." He said softly as he whispered in her ear, taking in her lavender scent.

"So have you gotten Derek to strip for you yet?" Addison asked as she walked up, causing Meredith to jump.

"What?" She asked with a confused giggle.

"Ah. You don't remember..." She said with a smile.

"Oh dear God." Meredith replied.

"Yep. You asked Derek to strip for you in front of everyone." Addison explained.

"Next time I get morphine, keep everyone away from me, okay?" She pleaded.

"Okay." She said with a chuckle. "So, I hear Bailey is babying you..."

"Yeah. I didn't expect it from her, of all people." Meredith said as she tried to take a bite of food.

"She cares. She pretends she's tuff, but you scared the heck out of her. I didn't think that could ever happen." Addison explained.

"Well, I just want everything to go back to the way it was. And Derek he's being all caring and wonderful, which is annoying as hell." Meredith pointed out.

"That is Derek. Embrace it!" Addison said. "I love Stan to death, but he is very dull. He isn't love-y. Derek wasn't with me, either. But you, he loves. Just let him." Addison told her.

"It's hard. He is not what I am used to." Meredith said quietly.

"You will get used to it. I have to go, I have surgery. " Addison said. "I just wanted to catch up. See you later."

Meredith sat there for awhile. Derek didn't come back. She looked around and didn't see him. She figured that he had gotten paged. She took another bite of her chicken and threw the remainder in the trash. She didn't want to go back to Dr. Bailey. She had taken a late lunch. Her shift wasn't that much longer, anyhow. She wanted to rest. She wanted some peace. She was even tired of Derek at this point. She found her way down to he favorite spot in the basement. But this time she rolled a gurney into an empty hallway. She knew Derek would come to find her eventually, and this way she wouldn't be seen. She just wanted a chance to think, and rest without someone worrying about her.

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Meredith laid there for a long time. She sat and thought about all that Brian had said. He was right about telling Derek that she loved him. She does. But right now she is miserable and she doesn't want to drag him down with her. She thought about Anna. She wanted to go see her tomorrow. She owed her that. Her dad and mom had been taken from her, she needed someone. Finally her eyes got heavy and she fell asleep. Little did she know that Derek had been searching the hospital high and low for her.

Derek was in a panic. All he could think about was Brian. He knew he was dead, but maybe someone else had taken her. Maybe she had hurt herself. Maybe she had ruptured aneurysm. Every possible bad scenario was going through his head. She didn't have a car there, so he figured she hadn't went home. He had checked the basement, that was where she always went. He had woken up several doctors in on-call rooms looking there. She wasn't in the locker room. She wasn't running labs. He was running out of ideas. Finally he decided to go back down to the basement. This time instead of glancing down the hallway, he actually walked it. He almost walked passed, but he saw a blue figure in his peripheral vision. There she was, sleeping peacefully. He walked over, and sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair.

"Hey." She whispered softly as she woke up.

"Hey." He returned. "Were you hiding from me?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Not just you, everyone." She replied, as she rolled onto her back.

"Oh." Derek said as he dropped his head. "I see."

"No, Derek. It's not like that. It's not you, it's me." She explained. "You are so happy and optimistic, and I'm, I'm not."

"You're not happy?" He asked with a sad face.

"No." She replied frankly. "There is nothing you can do about it. This is me. Things haven't been great for me, and I don't expect them to change. When you are a kid, you think about how great your life is going to be. I thought I would be this great doctor, with a husband, and a family, and a dog, with the white picket fence. I gave up. I gave up on that a long time ago." Meredith explained just louder then a whisper.

"You can have all that." He said, with a hopeful look.

"You are always the optimist." She said with a faint smile. "I had given up, Derek. When I was in that room, I gave up. I figured what the hell, what did I have to lose? At that moment, if he had blown us up, I wouldn't have cared. And for a second, I wished he would. But then he said things, Derek. Me made me realize what I have. The thought of never seeing you again, never smelling you, or feeling your kiss. Then all of a sudden, I couldn't bear it. He made me care. You make life worth living for me, Derek." She said as a tear slid down her cheek. His eyes were getting misty.

"Oh, Meredith..." He whispered.

"So I don't want to talk about that day anymore. I don't want to hear you say anything negative about him. He made me realize... He made me realize that I love you." She said softly. His lips grazed hers.

"I love you Mer." He said as he pulled her head to his chest. They sat there for a few minutes.

"So do you still want to go out to eat?" She asked with a smile.

"Do you?" He asked with surprise.

"Yeah, we can go." She said, knowing that he wanted to. "But I have to change, obviously."

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"So, I think I am going to start visiting Anna." Meredith said casually and she attempted to fork her salad with her left hand.

"Anna?" Derek asked. Meredith immediately felt irritated. How could he not know who she is.

"The little girl." Meredith said.

"Oh, oh yeah." Derek said, as the light bulb went off. "Well we snuck you in, last time. You would have to make sure it is okay with her family."

"I know." She said quickly. "I haven't figured that out yet. I don't know how her grandparents would feel about it."

"There is only one way to find out..." He said, taking a drink of his wine.

"We shall see." She said, also taking a drink.

"Should you be drinking that?" Derek asked.

"I am not taking anything for pain." She spat. "I need the wine."

"Okay." He said flatly. The waiter brought out their food. She pushed her salad out of the way.

"Were you done?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. It's not like I was getting anywhere. My hand doesn't work." She whined. He gave her a sympathetic look.

"So, Izzie misses you. And George too." Derek said.

"How do you know?" She asked.

"I had Izzie for an intern today. She was telling me. Something about stale muffins." Derek laughed.

"Well, I did eat a lot of her muffins. They are so good. Have you ever had one?" Meredith asked.

"No, I can't say I have." Derek replied. "Maybe you should go home." Derek suggested.

"Are you kicking me out?" Meredith said defensively.

"No! I just don't want to hog you." He answered quickly.

"Well, I don't want to go home. Not yet." She replied softly. "It's still too weird."

"I understand." He told her. "You know I really do want you all for myself!"

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Meredith walked up to the room nervously. She saw them sitting there. They were in their late fifties. They looked friendly, with soft smiles and grey hair. They didn't look like the type of people to keep a father from his child. She still didn't know what she was going to say to them. She figured she would just wing it, and see how it went. She walked up to them with a smile on her face.

"Hi. I'm Meredith." She said as she stuck out her hand.

"I'm Peggy and this is John." She said as they introduced themselves.

"Are you a doctor?" Peggy asked, as she looked at Meredith in her scrubs.

"Are you the Meredith that visited Anna a while ago?" John asked, with a smile.

"Yeah, actually I am." Meredith explained.

"Oh, she adores you. I don't know what you said, but she was in such a bright mood after you left." Peggy said with a huge smile.

"She said that you sometimes visit the sick kids in the hospital. That's great!" John boasted.

"Yeah, well, I like to see them get well." Meredith said. "So do you mind, if I go in?"

"No, no. Of course not!" Peggy said happily. Meredith smiled and went in to get suited up. She walked in and Anna immediately got a smile on her face.

"Meredith!" She squealed.

"How are you?" Meredith asked with a smile.

"Good." Anna said as she sat her coloring book down.

"I brought you chocolate milk." Meredith said, handing her the bottle.

"Oh, thank you." She smiled. "I didn't think you would come back. You looked so sad last time." Anna said as she dropped her face.

"Of course I came back." Meredith smiled. "I'm feeling better now." She said with a sigh, "So you lied to your grandparents..."

"I'm not stupid. They didn't like my dad. I knew they would be mad if they knew who you were." Anna explained.

"Well, I don't want you to lie. But I don't have the right to tell you what to say." Meredith explained.

"Well, I'm not going to tell them the truth!" She said boldly.

"So where do you go to school?" Meredith asked, changing the subject.

"Elmhurst Elementary." She answered. "But I never get to go, because I am always in the hospital. That sucks because I love school."

"That's good. I wasn't a fan of school, but my mom pushed me hard." Meredith said.

"Well, I want to be a doctor, just like you. So I need to like school." Anna explained.

"Yes, you do!" Meredith answered. She was flattered. "So tell me about yourself..."

"Well, my favorite color is purple. Not pink. Pink is too girly. I like dogs, they are my favorite animal. And horses too. I like them. And I like all kinds of music. And I like science, it's fun." Anna explained with a smile. "Do you have any kids?

"No." Meredith said quickly.

"Oh. Are you married? My mom was going to get married, but I didn't like the guy, so she didn't cause she loved me best." Anna said with a giggle.

"Nope, I'm not married. But I do have a boyfriend. He's great." Meredith answered.

"Oh. Well are you going to marry him?" Anna asked.

"Uh. I don't know. Maybe someday. Maybe." She said nervously. "Besides, he never asked me."

"I think you should. If you love him." Anna said wisely. "My mom always wished she married my dad. That would have been cool." Meredith looked up at the clock. She didn't want to stay too long.

"Well, I better go." Meredith said with a smile.

"Will you come back?" Anna asked.

"Sure, I'll come back." She said as she walked through the door.

"Meredith?" Anna asked.

"Yeah?" Meredith answered.

"You could always ask him." Anna suggested. Meredith got a puzzled look on her face. "If he hasn't asked, you could ask him to marry you."

Meredith shook her head and left the room laughing. She couldn't believe such a little girl was full of so much wisdom. Meredith knew she wasn't going to be getting married anytime soon. Especially after her marriage to Ian. But it was cute. The things that come from the mouths of babes.

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So at the end Meredith was feeling a little less depressed. She has gone through a lot, she has the right... Maybe next chapter we will get some sex!

Review please!