Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters.
(A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter. Here's the new chapter, which I couldn't do without the help of my beta, Jennie. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading!)
Chapter Five: Mercy On Me Part One
Jesus, I must confess
That in all my loneliness
I've forsaken and I've sinned
Leaving fragments of a man so broken
- Christina Aguilera
I drive over to Peyton's studio after she called me crying telling me that it was urgent. I don't know what happened, but she sounded completely broken over the phone. I didn't know what to tell her; I just told her that I was on my way. In all our years of friendship, no matter if we were arguing or not, I've always been there for her. I can't say the same for her, but she's still my best friend.
I walk in to the studio finding her on the floor in front of her desk crying. She had a photo in one hand, her other hand over her stomach, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I walked over to her and crouched down, wrapping my arms around her as she cried on my shoulder. I still don't know what she's crying about, but she can tell me that when she's ready.
She looks down at the picture in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the baby in the picture. I've seen this picture many times. It was a picture of her and Ellie the day she was born, right before Ellie gave her up. I slowly piece together what this is about. She's probably not pregnant.
"I'm sorry," Peyton says trying to laugh it off, but I see right through her. "I went to the doctor today; they told me I wasn't pregnant."
I guess I was right, "That's no reason to cry, you can always try again."
She shakes her, letting me know there was more bad news to spread. "That's just it," she tells me as I tuck pieces of her curly blond hair out of her face and behind her ear, "I can't have children. Well, he didn't exactly say that, but it's going to take a miracle for me to get pregnant. He said it had to do with a scar on my uterus, probably from an event of physical violence."
She had gone through many events of violence in her life, no telling which one caused it. "I'm so sorry," I grab the blond in to my arms once again as she sobs quietly on my shoulder. "There are so many other options, you can always adopt. Just like your mom adopted you, maybe it's your time to save a child in need."
She nods her head, hopeful. "You're right," she says through her tears. "But how am I supposed to tell Lucas that I can't give him children? I mean, how do you tell someone that?"
Her words make me think, how do I tell Lucas that his only shot a child was killed?
I sigh; this was going to make things much harder. "You just tell him," I say as my voice breaks, causing her to look up at me, "Peyton, it's not like you did this on purpose. You can't help the fact that you can't have children, but what you can help is trying to do whatever you can to keep your dream of having a child alive."
She rests her head against me. "I don't know what I would do without you," she tells me. I just hold her closer to my body. "Thank you for being here for me."
I wipe the tears falling from her eyes, cascading down her cheeks. "I'm always going to be here for you," I turn her to look at me. "Remember that, Peyton. Please remember after today that no matter what happens, I'm always going to be there for you. I can only hope that you will do the same."
"I promise," she shakes her head as I nod. "Why do you say that for?"
I hesitate in saying anything, but I have to tell her something. "You'll find that out soon," I get up from the floor, dusting myself off, "I promise."
I help lift her from off the ground as she says, "Okay, I'll take your word for it."
She looks at me, still slightly confused at what I just said. "Go home, Peyton." I can see the fear in her eyes; she doesn't want to tell Luke. "Tell Lucas, he won't be mad at you. He'll be upset, but not with you Peyton. This is not your fault, you can't control what happens. I want you to go home and tell Lucas that even though you're not able to have children, there are still other options. When you leave this office, I want you to put on your brave face. If anything, you are brave P. Sawyer."
She nods her head, "I will."
I feel bad for her; I could see how this was affecting her. "Call me if you need me. I'm going to be at Haley's house with Rachel and Sam. I know it's shocking, but Jamie been begging to see us all week."
"Alright," she laughs, it was good to see her smile. "I better get going."
She grabs her purse off the table and walks towards the exit as I shout, "Good luck P. Sawyer!"
"I love you B. Davis!" Peyton yells back.
Lucas' POV
It has been a week since Brooke told me she didn't love me. She left me that night on the beach and I haven't seen or heard from her since. We said we'd be friends, but who can honestly stay friends after an event like that? She crushed me. She stomped on my heart and walked away, without any goodbye. There was just something in her eyes that night that made me think that I still had a chance.
Who am I kidding? I'd never had a chance; I was never good enough for her. She deserves better than what I gave her. I broke her heart, not once, but twice. I broke her, left her without anyone to repair her damaged heart. She was still broken. I was the only person who could fix her heart, but I missed my shot. I was stupid for letting her get away again. She was so close to being in my reach and I fucked it up. I chose Peyton again, not her.
What was it about Peyton that kept me coming back? Was it the fact that she always played the victim? The damsel in distress and I couldn't help but be her knight in shining armor? I always had to save Peyton, because she always needed saving. Why couldn't I save Brooke? What did she mean it was too late to save her?
I hear the side door of my bedroom open, Peyton walks through the door. She has a worried look on her face, but she tries to cover it with a smile. She gets on the bed across from me, waiting for me to say something. I don't really know what to say. I don't even know what's wrong with her, so I guess we can start off there.
I lift my head from the pillow, sitting Indian-style on the bed. "What's wrong?"
When I ask this question, tears begin to fall from her eyes. I pull her in to a hug, not really knowing what's going on. She needs me, that's all that mattered. I stroke her long curly blond hair, not realizing how much I was wishing it was hers. I want to feel her silky velvet brunette hair against my hand. I want to cup her face and tell her that everything was going to be alright. I want to be there for her, but I can't.
Peyton pulls back from my embrace, her eyes red and puffy. "I'm sorry," She whispers to me, but I still have no clue what's going on, "I know this isn't suppose to be my fault, but I'm sorry. I wanted to be able to give you this, more than anything."
I'm still confused, "What's going on Peyton?"
She wipes her tears off her face, preparing herself to tell me the story. "I went to the doctor today," she begins as I nod my head, hoping everything was alright, "I thought I was pregnant, but it turns out I'm not."
I nod my head, "It's okay. If this is something you really want, we can try again. If you want kids right now, we can have kids. There's no need to rush these things, Peyton."
She shakes her head, tears rolling down her face again. "That's not it, Lucas," She tells me as I look at her confused, "I can't have children. We can try and try and try, but it won't work. I'm not going to be able to give you kids, Luke. I'm sorry. I can't help but like feel this is my fault some how."
I shake my head no. "It's not your fault. This isn't anyone's fault," I say, pulling her back in to my arms again. "Things like this happen and it's no one's fault. There are plenty of other options. I don't need biological kids because I would love them even if they weren't mine."
She looks up at me confused. "You're not upset?"
"Of course I'm upset," I tell her calmly. "I always wanted always wanted a little Peyton Sawyer running around here."
She laughs and I look at her confused. "Why does everyone keep calling me Sawyer, I'm a Scott now."
I laugh along with her, but the truth was it didn't feel as if she was Scott. "I guess it's a little new to everyone right now, but I'm sure we will come around," I sigh getting up from the bed, grabbing my jacket, "I have to go."
She watches me from the bed, "What do you mean? Where are you going?"
I zip up my jacket, smiling at the blond. "I just remembered that Haley wanted me to come over today. She wanted to talk about something; I'll check up on her quickly and come right back here. Don't worry, okay?"
She nods her head as I make my way over and kiss her on her forehead. "Luke?" she calls out to me as I open the door, "I really am sorry about this whole thing."
I nod my head. "It's okay," I reassure her, this wasn't her fault. "I love you, Peyton Sawyer."
"Scott," She corrects me, laughing.
"Right," I nod my head, "Scott."
Brooke's POV
I walk in to Haley's house with Rachel and Sam by my side. "Honey, we're home!" I yell out jokingly, looking around the house for Haley, Nathan and Jamie. They were all in the kitchen eating a little snack. Jamie dropped his Rice Krispies treat and ran over to hug me as I crouch to the floor and pick him up. I swung him around and threw him over my shoulder.
"I'm king of the world!" Jamie yells as we all laugh.
I loved Jamie; he was so wise for his age. I would usually go to him for advice, depending on how big the problem was. I didn't want to force him into therapy at such a young age, for bearing him with all my problems. I remembered what it was like to be his age. It was great to feel free, without the weight of the world on my shoulders. I missed being that age; I just wanted to be free again.
I put him down on the ground, giving him a chance to hug Sam and Rachel. I walked over to Nathan and Haley flashing them each a smile as I pulled up a seat at the counter. It was nice to be around family; I considered them all my family. It was a loving and supporting environment to be around. I could go to them with anything and they could do the same with me. I love them and love me. What more could I ask for?
Haley passes me a bottled water, "What's going on girly?"
I sigh as Nathan and Haley laughs. "The same old. I'm getting close to opening up my own little boutique, which can be kind of stressful. I'm hoping it's as successful as Clothes over Bros was."
"It will be," Nathan tells me leaning against the counter, "We have faith in you."
Jamie jumps in to Haley's lap, "We all have faith in you Aunt Brooke."
"Thanks kiddo," I say quietly with a smile.
I suddenly remember the conversation I had with Peyton earlier. I forgot to tell them what happened. I look towards Sam as she looks at me with confusion. I nod my head, pointing towards the stairs. When she finally got the hint, she nods her head and walks toward Haley and Jamie.
She smiles, which was very obvious she was hiding something. "Jamie, come upstairs and you can show me your toys." Jamie jumps of Haley lap, Sam saying, "Okay, you old folks can talk about whatever you were going to talk about. Always leaving me out of the loop."
We all laugh. I just wink at Sam. "I love you!"
She rolls her eyes at me as Jamie leads her towards the stairs. "Yeah, yeah!"
Haley, Nathan and Rachel gather around the table, waiting me to tell them what happened. "Peyton told me something very important today," I tell them fiddling with my nails, "She told me she couldn't have kids."
Haley covered her mouth, "What?"
"I know," I nod my head, "It sucks, I told her to tell Lucas. This makes keeping my secret a whole lot worse. It sucks to know that not only can Peyton not get pregnant, but I destroyed Lucas' last chance at having a kid."
"Way to cover up your secret," Rachel says sarcastically, as I look at her confused, "Nathan didn't know, remember? Now you just told him."
Nathan looked at me shocked. "Wait, let's rewind," he says as I bury my head in my hands. "What do you mean you destroyed Lucas' only chance at having a kid? Were you pregnant?"
"Nathan you have to promise you can't tell," I immediately tell him. "If Lucas was to find out that I aborted his child he would never forgive me!"
"You did what?"
I hear a voice from behind us, and turning, I see Lucas standing in the doorway. His face was turning red and his eyes were filled with fury. I assumed he heard what I just said. I run my hand through my hair and can't help but mutter the words, 'Oh crap'.
(A/N: Oh no! Some drama coming up...lol! Hope you enjoyed! Now you know what to do, click the button. Unless you can't handle clicking the button. :P Lol!)
Idon'tknowyet- Thanks for reading the story! I would also like Lucas to find out what Peyton did, I don't know if I'll add to the story, but I am sure I will try to add it in there. I'm thinking about it, cause I do need a way to cause problems between Leyton. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I look forward to your reviews! :D
centuryshorty- I'm glad to see a new reviewer! Thanks for the review and saying the story was beautiful, I hope I can continue to make it better. Someone is going to say I don't believe you, but it's not Lucas. You'll see who it is. I love Rachel/Jamie/Sam too and I'll try to add a little more Naley fluff…lol. I have to think about the Jake and Jenny stuff to see how it will play out, if the story heads in a good direction I think I'll be able to. :D
tanya2byour21- I'm glad you enjoyed finding out Brooke's secret and I agree Peyton is an idiot…lol! I love the Baley friendship, so you can expect to see more of them together really soon. Peyton always rub something in Brooke's selfishly, she's unbelievable. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for the reviews! :D
1treehillcharmed- Thank you so much for offering to be a beta, sorry that you couldn't do it, but I still need help with something. If your interested in helping let me know. I'm glad you enjoying the story, thank you so much for the review! :D
BDavisLScott23- I'm sorry, she had an abortion. You'll find out more about it in the next chapter, so don't worry, she didn't do it selfishly. I love Rachel too, she's hilarious, I can't wait to write some more stuff for her. I added another Lucas' POV, I hoped you enjoyed it and I the next chapter will also open in Lucas' POV. Also you know Lucas can never decide anything, but in this story maybe he can stick to his choices. I hate that I made Brooke lie, but it was only more realistic for her to do it. She's very selfless which I love about her. I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. :D
Hansmolman- Thanks for your review! It made me feel very good to know that I was doing a good job so far. I'm glad that your enjoying the story and I hope to see what you think of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks again for reading the story! :D
Jenn0615- Thanks so much for coming across this story Jennie. I don't know what I would do with your help, I hate posting a chapter and thinking that I did a horrible job. Thank you for helping me with this chapter, can't wait to see what else we can do. :D
dianehermans- Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Just wait to see what happens in the next…lol! Can't wait to see more of your reviews! Once again, thanks! :D
Long Live BRUCAS- I know what you mean, I hate how she complained about the ring and she was the same person calling it cheap when it was on Lindsey finger. She's so stupid, I hope Keith strikes her…lol! Brooke was better with Keith and Karen than Peyton ever was, she didn't even know them like that. Peyton just gets me mad…lol! I love Baley and I'm glad that I wrote Haley being the one helping Brooke. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :D
Brucasxo4ever- I agree Brucas babies are the best kind…lol! I'm glad you're enjoying the Baley and Brachel, I love those two friendships and hopefully all three of them could be friends. ROTFL…, that quote you posted, I might take you up on that and still it for the next chapter, but Haley won't say it…lol! I'm also glad that this is the longest review you ever wrote, thank you so much! You rock! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :D
ravencheerleader- Lol…I think a lot of people probably read Leyton wedding and was thinking 'I'm not reading this!'. I'm glad you took a shot and just read it. You know Brooke is always selfless, so she will hide her love so no one will get hurt. It also sucked that she got an abortion, but you'll find out why in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. :D
BrookeLucasForever- There is no Leyton baby, I would never to that Brucasers…lol! She aborted the baby, but you will find out why in the next chapter. Thanks for reading this story! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D
Kimberlli- Lol…I'm a boy, but it's an honest mistake so don't feel bad. Sorry, she had an abortion, but as I told the others, you will find out why in the next chapter. Thanks for reading the story! :D
realitysickness- Sorry about the kiss, but I don't think they will cheat. Brooke's not cheating type so I don't think they will because Brooke has morals, unlike a certain blond girl. Thank you so much for reading this story, hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D
heppy- Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you think it's getting better and better! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks again for reading! :D