Disclaimer : I don't own Doctor Who, but I can play with them. Muhahahahahaha!

"Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirates life for me!!"

Captain Jack was singing at the top of his voice, as he tried to navigate a clear path through the carnage that was the control room. There was a water fight going on somewhere in one of the rooms that was never found, and that was where the Fan Girls had disappeared off to. The author, that's me, was just sitting in the corner, watching the Captain Jack navigate the control room whilst singing Yo Ho Ho.

"Aii! And something . . . . something . . . rotten eggs!!"

There was a loud thump, and the Captain Jack collapsed on the floor. The Doctor turned, but once he started snoring, he went back to his book.

Whatcha reading?

"Nothing."

Ohh, is a book about nothing interesting?

"p"

Gotcha using smileys then! I truly am-

"Evil."

Actually that was what I was going to say. And it's actually my word.

Crash.

Ah, do you think the crazed hyperactive fan girls; have gone to using breakable things? Cause I didn't write that . . . (innocent look)

The Doctor ran over to the doorway, and ducked just in time as a glass banana came flying over his head.

"Put them down. Now!"

Somebody, probably PixieSpryte seeing as she'd spent the last hour in the kitchen cupboard eating everything with a possible e-number in including the colourings and raw sugar, threw another glass banana at him, he grabbed up the unsmashed one, and threw it back. Then ran as fast as he could behind the console.

Could it be that the Doctor is having fun?

"Uhm . . . no. Now shush or they'll find me."

OI, EL HYPERINIOES! HE'S-

puppy eyes

-IN THE KITCHEN!

The Fan Girls legged it off to the kitchen, and the Doctor came out of hiding.

"Why'd you do that?"

shrug I need you intact for the next chapter, which involves something along the lines of shopping in a super-mahoosive supermarket.

"You can't do that . . ."

Did I mention it's a Spanish supermarket?

"But it'll all be translated anyway, so what's the point?"

Cause I have your sonic screwdriver, and you'll be using dictionaries by the end of this chapter, if I can sort it out.

"You're having a laugh."

Which bit? The fiddling with the TARDIS, or the going to the supermarket, and using a dictionary?

"Both."

It's the entertainment value, you see, as PixieSpryte, who has currently found her way into the med bay medical store, goes wheeling down the vodka aisle on a trolley, grabbing everything she can, cause she's got your 21st century credit card. And PIN.

"Say WHAT?!?"

The Doctor legged it off to the med bay, the author following on a puff of multicoloured, banana scented cloud. The med bay, was also a scene of disaster. All that was visible of PixieSpryte was a pair of feet bobbing up and down out of a cabinet that looked much smaller than it obviously was. She was throwing every pot of pills she could at FunkyFairyGirl who was sitting on the floor opening the random pots of pills, sucking one, pulling a face, then putting it on the floor.

And I threw a glass banana at the Doctor. Just to make it more random.

"Ow! Whatcha do that for?"

I already explained, now shouldn't you be worried what pills FunkyFairyGirl's chewing?

"Point taken."

Would a loudhailer help?

"Probably."

puff of red smoke

"PIXIESPRYTE. FUNKYFAIRYGIRL. WHY ARE YOU EATING TABLETS?????"

"Well, Sarah said that there was one that tasted like chocolate, but I didn't believe her, so we're looking for it."

"Sarah??"

"It's really Sarah-Jane, but she hates that. That's PixieSpryte's name. PixieSpryte is her pen-name. I thought your were meant to be smart."

"Pen name?"

You gotta problem? You already know my name, banana-head.

"Okay, so what's FunkyFairyGirl's name?"

Claire. Claire Smith, which happens to be interesting with you being "John Smith" . . .

"Oh no. No no no no no no no. You are not implying . . ."

Hey, I only just thought of it, banana-head.

"Stop calling me banana-head."

Have you noticed, they're still eating the pills.

"Oh."

Let me handle this.

FREEEEE ICE CREAM IN THE CONTROL ROOM.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on which way you look at it), that meant a two fan girl stampede to the control room, flattening the Doctor on the way.

"Why do you like hurting me? So far I've been covered in ice cream, eaten, whacked every possible part of my body while half-riding a horse, had glass bananas smashed against my head, and now flattened."

It's not me, it's the Fan Girls.

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Reviews! Luffed! You can have the chocolate tablets I nicked from the fan girls if you review!