Well, now it's Donny's turn with Leo. I'm not sure I like this, but it's as good as it's going to get. Besides, Raph's chapter is up next, and I can't wait to get to that one. For now, enjoy.
With the success of Mikey's part of Leo's rehabilitation, it soon became time for Donatello to take over. While Michelangelo had effectively helped Leo learn that he could trust his brothers not to hurt him physically, Donny had set the task for himself to teach his brother they could be trusted with his emotions. He had observed over the past several weeks that in addition to flinching away from physical contact, Leo had a tendency to be very sensitive to any sort of criticism. Unlike Raph, though, who exploded angrily when criticized, Leo would curl in on himself and apologize profusely. Even worse, however, was the way Leo refused to share his own emotions. When pushed to describe how he was feeling, Leo would merely state that his feelings weren't important before finding some way to turn the conversation away from himself. Both reactions made Don very irate with whoever had taught his brother to put aside his own feelings. Don knew Leo would never completely recover if he couldn't overcome this blasted sense of worthlessness.
Donny's plan started out very simply: provide as much positive reinforcement and feedback for his oldest brother as he could. At first, it was small things, like thanking Leo whenever the oldest turtle did something to help out. It broke Donny's heart to see how Leo, after a few days of suspicion, soaked up the simple praise. No matter how often Don, Mikey, or even Raph would express their gratitude, even for something as small as passing the remote, Leo would act like he had been handed a great treasure.
'Oh, bro, did no one appreciate you wherever you were,' Don couldn't help thinking as he watched Leo slowly become comfortable accepting his brothers' gratitude. In the process of rehabilitating his brother, Don had come to recognize two things he never had before. First was just how much Leo did for each of them. Even wounded and in need of care himself, Leo still found ways to take care of his younger brothers. From trying to make sure Donny didn't stay up too late, to listening to Mikey ramble on and on when no one else would, Leo was simple there for his brothers. This, however, led to the second trait Don had noticed about his brother: Leo did very little to look after himself. In fact, Leo rarely if ever did anything just for himself. It made Donny realize just how often Leo pushed aside his own likes and desires to fulfill his brother's needs. In fact, the way Leo acted was almost as though he wasn't supposed to want anything beyond his brothers' happiness. This being the case, it was no wonder Leo was so vulnerable to criticism, and that he worked so hard to be "perfect," even when he was sick.
At first, Don was unsure what to do to correct the self-destructive behavior. If they told Leo they didn't need him to look after them, it would wound him terribly in a way Donny wasn't sure could be healed. On the other hand, Don knew they couldn't let Leo continue to live his life dependent on his brothers' wants and whims. But how to approach Leo? Fortunately, the perfect opportunity soon presented itself.
Leo had been home for about a month, and Don had finally cleared him to begin light sparring with his brothers to rebuild the strength in his wounded shoulder. On this particular night Leo had gone up against Raph. After a month long recuperation, however, Leo wasn't up to his usual standard, and as a result had made a number of small errors that resulted in Raph winning their match. Raph being who he was had made a couple of small, harmless, teasing remarks about his brother's skill. Although the comments had been made with no malicious intent, it was quite apparent from the crushed look on Leo's face that the oldest turtle had taken them too much to heart. Raph was at a loss; he hadn't meant to hurt his brother. When he went to approach Leo, though, Don waved him off. Motioning for Raph to take Mikey with him, Don waited until the dojo was empty of everyone but he and Leo. Under the pretext of cleaning up after practice, and keeping his tone casual, Don said,
"That Raph sure knows how to put his foot in it, doesn't he?"
"But he was right," Leo replied, his voice full of self-disgust. "I was fighting no better than a hatchling tonight."
Don snorted softly. "Leo, you are recovering from a major wound," he said. "No one expects you to be on top of your game immediately."
"Apparently Raph does," Leo retorted.
"No, that was Raph thinking with his shell and no this brain," Don said. "Crude as it was, that was our brother's way of trying to reassure you. He was trying to make you laugh; if you'll remember, he was making similar comments about Mikey's fighting skills, too."
"But…but I'm the 'leader.' I can't afford to be off or weak," Leo replied. "For as long as I can remember I was always expected to be in peak form, no matter what."
"Ah, big bro," Don sighed, coming to Leo's side. "Have we ever thanked you for everything you do for us?"
"What…"Leo started, but Don cut him off.
"Until recently, I hadn't realized how much of yourself you give us," Don continued. "All it seems we do is take from you. Whatever do we give back, except sarcasm and grief?"
"No, it's not like that," Leo protested. "I enjoy looking after my family. I mean, that's all I have to offer."
It was Don's turn to be stunned. "What do you mean that's all you have to offer," he asked.
Leo gave a small shrug. "Just look at the rest of you. Mikey, for all that' he's the youngest, is the hear of the family. He is so giving and loving, it just pours off of him onto everyone around him. You can't deny he's he one who provides the energy for the family. And then there's Raph, the strength of the family. Yes, he's stubborn and hot-headed, but he's the one who is willing to do whatever is necessary for the family, even when the necessary isn't easy. And then there's you; the brain of the family. Shell, Don, you're smarter than the rest of us combined. I can't remember all of the times you've pulled us out of one jam or another by your ability to outthink the problem."
"So where does that leave you," Don asked quietly.
"Me," Leo asked, startled that Don had to ask. "I'm the weapon for the family. It's my job to constantly train and hone my skills so that I can protect the family. I have to stay sharp so that the rest of you can live your lives, free to be who and what you were meant to be."
"Oh, Leo," Don said, his voice thick with unexpected tears. "You're not our weapon; you're the soul of the family. A weapon is a tool, something that has only one purpose, and is put aside when it is not needed. Despite what you think, your sole purpose is not to simply come into use whenever we need protecting. You are the force that binds us together."
"But—" Leo started to protest, but Don wouldn't let him.
"No, just listen. I don't know how you came to see yourself as a mere tool for the family, but that is not how we see you. To us, you are an integral part of our existence. Those two years you were missing? We were not whole. I can speak for Raph and Mikey when I say there was a Leo shaped hole in my heart that no one else could possibly fill. You said that I'm the brain of the family? Well, I couldn't think my way out of those dangerous situations without knowing that you were there to support me and give me the time I needed to think up a solution, and you believe in me. You provide the security Mikey needs so desperately. He can only be as carefree as he is because he knows you will be there for him, no matter what. And Raph? Well, if Raph is the strength of the family, you are Raph's strength. He only lets loose like he does because he knows you would never let him go too far, and like Mikey, he knows you will always be there for him. And on top of what you do for us individually, you keep us tied together as a family. You keep Mikey from irritating Raph and me too much. You prevent Raph from killing Mikey when the brat goes too far. And you help me remember there is more to life than my research, while at the same time you make Raph and Mikey see that what I do is as essential to me as their hobbies and interests."
"But, I'm useless…a failure," Leo dissented, though his voice was softer, less certain. The hurt and confusion in his brother's tone finally made the tears flow down Donny's face.
"I don't know who told you that big brother, but they were lying," Don said through his tears. "You are anything but useless, and you certainly aren't a failure. Yes, sometimes you make mistakes, but so do all of us. I can't think of anyone I would rather have, not just at the head of our team, but as my big brother."
Suddenly Donny found himself with an armful of Leo, his oldest brother sobbing into his neck. Without hesitation, Don hugged his brother tighter, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his brother's shell. "Go ahead and cry it out," he encouraged Leo. "I'm here for you, and when you're ready, we're all ready to show you just how much we appreciate and need you in our family."