I don't own Grey's Anatomy!

Meredith spent the last few days plotting and planning. Ian had pretty much been staying out of trouble. But he was a thorn in her side. He was always around, making comments and just being Ian. She had tried to get ahold of his father, Ethan, but he was out of town on business, and unreachable. Of course. That is just her luck.

"Isn't it time for you to go home?" Meredith asked as she sat down next to him on the sofa. She handed him a beer.

"Oh, you know you want me to stay." He said with a grin.

"I do not want you to stay." She said flatly, taking a swig from the bottle.

"Oh yes you do." He replied. "So where is Derek?" He asked smartly.

"At the hospital. He got pulled into an emergency surgery. See, that is what happens when you work." She told him smartly.

"Where are Izzie and George?" Ian asked quickly.

"Uh, hell if I know." She said with a shrug, as she took a drink and sat it on the table.

"So no one is home..." He said with raised eyebrows.

"No." She spat. "What the hell are you thinking?" She asked with worry.

"Come on. A quickie, for old time's sake. You know you want to..." Ian urged.

"No. No! I don't." She told him loudly.

"Mer, we are so good together." He whined. "One last time..."

"Yeah, and you are horny, and have gone without sex for too long." She rolled her eyes as she told him.

"No, I would pick you over anyone any day. Come on... I won't tell McDefective." He said smoothly.

"McDreamy, and he is McDreamy and great. He is everything I ever--" She started and was cut off by Ian's soft forceful lips. His lips were so familiar. He pushed her down on the sofa, and laid on top of her. She felt his erection press against her leg. "Ugh, get off of me!" She shouted as she tossed him onto the floor.

"What the fuck?" He asked angrily as he jumped up.

"I told you no." She said as she sat back. "I am in love with Derek."

"That has never stopped you before. Shit, you have always fucked me, Mer. Even when you were pissed at me. Even when you were with that loser, Nate." Ian boasted.

"I told you not to say his name." She said as she glared at him.

"He really hurt you, didn't he?" Ian asked with a faint grin.

"I hate you." She seethed as she got up and walked away.

"What are you going to do when he dumps your ass just like Nate did?" He shouted loudly.

What if he is right? What if Derek does leave me? What if he just walks away? I am married. Boyfriends don't hang around to wait for divorces. They run. Maybe he should have stayed with Holly. Maybe he was happy with her. He was happy, and I screwed that up. I screw everything up.

Meredith grabbed out the cleaning supplies. She threw on the yellow rubber gloves and went to work on the kitchen counter and sink. She grabbed a toothbrush and started scrubbing meticulously. This is what she did when she was upset. She cleaned. She had to. It was really the only time she did clean. She wasn't a slob, but she didn't live to clean, either. It was either scrub the grim off of the tile countertop, or tear the skin off of Ian's face. She was in another dimension. She was happy in her cleaning mode, she shut the world out. A bomb could go off next to her and she would never hear it. She never even heard Derek come in. He tried talking to her. She didn't even hear him.

"Mer!" He said as he grabbed her shoulders.

"Oh!" She said, startled. "When did you get here?" She asked.

"About twenty minutes ago. I was talking to you forever." He said with a furrowed brow.

"I'm sorry, I just--" She started with a weak apology.

"You're cleaning..." He said in a state of shock.

"I can clean." She told him frankly.

"I'm sure you can, babe." He laughed. "How are you?" He asked as he leaned in and kissed her.

"I'm okay, I guess." She answered truthfully.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

"I am starved." She said as she pulled off her gloves and looked at her handy work. They heard the front door open. George and Izzie bounded in.

"Hey." Meredith said. "Good day?"

"Heck ya." Izzie answered. "We scrubbed in on that abdominal tumor. That woman is half the size now."

"You guys suck." Meredith spat jokingly. "So, are you hungry?"

"I am starving." George told her. " Did you cook?" He asked looking around. Everyone laughed.

"No, but she did clean..." Derek offered.

"Seriously?" Izzie asked with surprise.

"You guys, I can clean!" Meredith told them.

"But you don't..." George said. "Are you sick?"

"No, she's upset." Ian chipped in from the doorway.

"Why?" Derek asked, full of concern. Meredith turned away and washed her hands.

"Because I kissed her." Ian said simply. Derek's face turned angry and Meredith dropped her head.

"You what?" Derek said as he turned toward Ian.

"I kissed her." Ian said with a shrug. "Don't worry, she didn't enjoy it."

"I let you stay here. I convinced her to let you stay here, and you pull this?" Derek said angrily.

"It won't happen again." Ian told him.

"Don't worry about it Derek. I handled it." Meredith said quickly. "Let's get something to eat." She looked at him, and he decided to drop it.

"What sounds good?" Derek asked as he put his hand on her back.

"Pizza." George suggested.

"We just had pizza..." Izzie told him.

"How about Italian? I could run to Angelo's." Derek suggested.

"That sounds good." Meredith agreed.

"Well, what does everyone want?" Derek asked as he grabbed a pad of paper.

"Oh, I want fetuccini alfredo." Izzie chirped.

"You know what I want." Meredith said with a smile.

"George, what about you?" Derek asked, looking up at him.

"Uh, spaghetti, I guess." George said with a shrug.

"Ian?" Derek asked begrudgingly.

"Garlic penne with chicken." He said quietly. That was the only italian food he liked.

"I'll go get it." Meredith said, grabbing the list from his hand. She had to get out of the house. "Iz, George, do you guys want to come?"

"I'll come." Izzie answered.

"I'm going to take a shower." George told her as he started to run upstairs.

"Have fun." Meredith told Derek with a smile. He gave her a sour look. "We'll be right back." Derek watched her small figure disappear through the doorway.

"I swear, if you make a move on her again. I will kill you." Derek said quickly, as he turned to Ian.

"It was just a joke." Ian said, brushing it off.

"I highly doubt that." Derek returned in disguist.

Derek looked him in the eye. It took everything he had, to not deck him. He had him in the house so that he could watch him. He felt like he had failed. He knew Meredith well enough to know that she could hold her own. And with Ian, she seemed to do a better job than with anyone else. He grabbed his bag and headed upstairs to change out of his work clothes. When he came back down, Ian was sitting on the sofa channel surfing. Derek wanted to walk up and whack him upside his smug head. He glanced over at Derek.

"Here." He said as he held the remote control out for him. "It's your house." Derek only grabbed it because he wanted to prove that he was in fact, the boss.

"It is not my house." Derek said as he sat in the chair. "It's Meredith's."

"Ah, yes. You live in a trailer." Ian said with a chuckle.

"It is a very nice trailer." Derek shot back defensively. "The house is in the process of being built."

"Oh, you're building a house." Ian said, somewhat surprised. "For Meredith?"

"She had some part in it's design, yes." Derek said, not wanting to give Ian any fuel.

"So are you going to move there when it's done? It seems as if you are always here. So are you going to leave here? Or are you both going to stay?" Ian asked.

"I do whatever Meredith does." Derek said with a slight smile.

"Well, it seems you do make her happy." Ian said remorsefully. "I think she is happier with you than she ever was with Nate. That should tell you something."

"Oh." Derek said.

He wanted to pry. He wanted to know what happened. Maybe he would understand her better. Maybe Ian could help him unlock the chamber in her heart that she kept closed off from everyone. Ian held the key, the code, and Derek wanted it. Now he had to find a way to get it.

"So Nate..." Derek started. "She met him where?"

"How much do you know?" Ian asked with a evil grin.

"Some. A lot. I don't know." Derek finally admitted. Ian would either tell him or he wouldn't.

"I don't know how they met. Mer, she got around. She was with damn near every guy in the fifty mile radius." Ian spat. Derek's face turned red. "I imagine she met him at the club we frequented."

"Oh, I see. I have to say your arrangement was a little odd. To say the least." Derek said with raised brows.

"Yeah, well, anyway, she was allowed to sleep around. Hell, I didn't care if she screwed every guy in the club. But she wasn't to fall in love. She couldn't. I wanted her for myself. I didn't want her running off with some guy. I loved her. But I didn't want to be tied down. But I did want her tied down. I wanted her to be with just be with me. I may be an ass, but I knew I couldn't make her do that. So we both slept around, but we stayed together. But then she fell in love. She always came home. She quit coming home. She started staying over at his house. She said she was staying at a friend's. I knew that was shit. She was moving. She would pack up a little bit at a time. I noticed her stuff disappearing. She was going to leave me. He was some loser at Oxford. I don't know what she saw in him. She hadn't come home in a while, then she came home for a few days. Apparently, he had left town to go to his mum's. I found out from my friends that she was meeting him that night. I had her detained at the club's entrance. My guys grabbed him and took him to a back alley. We beat the stupid fuck to a pulp. Broken nose, broken ribs. I can still see his eyes. The poor piss-ant was scared shit-less. He messed with the wrong man's wife. It was made clear that he was to stay the hell away from her, unless he wanted to be found in the nearest body of water face-down. They took him home, packed his shit, and made him leave town that night." Ian boasted proudly. Derek sat there, no words would come.

"You should have seen the look on her face when she came home from the club. She was devastated. She was broken. She thought he just up and left her. She tried for weeks to get ahold of him. She never knew what happened. It was like her world had ended. I felt bad, but I was not going to lose her. I guess I ended up losing her in the end anyhow." Ian said matter of fact-ly.

"You need to tell her what happened to him." Derek said quickly.

"Absolutely not." Ian spat. "She will never know.

"Then I will tell her." Derek replied boldly.

"I don't think you want to do that. You see, if you tell her what happened, she will resent you. Meredith doesn't like people prodding into her life. She will assume you were fishing for information about Nate. You can't tell her, or you'd be screwing yourself." Ian said with and obnoxious chuckle.

"You offered the information." Derek told him. "I can't help what was said."

"Go ahead. Tell her." Ian shrugged. "But I know her better than anyone. You will be stepping on a land mine."

"Don't worry about me." Derek said simply.

How could he do that? How could he live a lie all those years? How could he lie next to her every night, knowing he had caused her so much pain. It all made sense now. Ian took advantage of her. She was young, and vulnerable. Eighteen is still a child. With Ellis as a mother, she didn't have a chance. No wonder she ran. She never had a real relationship. Then she met Nate. Apparently, he was the only normal thing in her life. She has always thought he just left. She was in love with him, and to her, he just disappeared into thin air. Then there was Chase. I don't know if she loved him, but he left too. She has no idea what it is like to be loved. I don't see how she could ever trust anyone again. I can't say I blame her.

"We're home." Meredith said happily. Somehow her voice seemed sweeter to Derek. He jumped off the sofa and followed her into the kitchen.

"It smells good." Derek said happily. "And I, love you." Derek said as he pulled Meredith into a deep kiss.

He stood there and looked into her eyes. He saw hurt. And it broke his heart. But at the same time, behind everything else, there was hope. He was determined that for the rest of his life, he was going to make her happy. He was never going to make her question his love for her.

Meredith looked into Derek's eyes. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved him. His blue eyes were full of depth. She saw pity. He looked like he knew something. At the same time, she saw love. She knew deep in her heart that he loved her.

"George!" Meredith yelled loudly. "Food's here!"

"That was fast." George said as he walked into the kitchen. Everyone started grabbing utensils and putting food on their plates.

"Hey, let's watch a movie!" Izzie suggested.

"Okay." Meredith said as she poured she and Derek a glass of wine.

"What do you want to watch?" Izzie asked.

"It's totally up to you." Meredith said tiredly.

Izzie, George and Ian headed out to the living room. She could hear them arguing over what to watch. Ian didn't want to watch anything medical. And Izzie wanted to watch surgeries. George didn't care what they watched. He was easy to please. Meredith quit listening and began putting ravioli on her plate.

"I love you." Derek said as he looked into her eyes and leaned against the counter.

"You just said that." She said with a giggle.

"I know. I just want to make sure you know it." Derek reassured her.

"I know you do. And I love you." She responded. "Go, eat. I'm going to go to the bathroom." She said as she walked away.

Derek walked into the living room. They were all still arguing over what to watch. Derek grabbed a seat on the sofa. He knew that Meredith would want to sit next to him. Ian was in a chair in the corner. Derek rolled his eyes as Izzie kept rummaging through tapes.

"I always loved this chair." Ian said simply. "I've missed it."

"I bet you have..." Derek said smartly.

"Oh let's watch this!" Izzie said as she held a tape up in the air. "George, this is dedicated to you!" She laughed as she stuck the tape in. The screen was black, but there was sound. They all listened. Meredith could hear the sound in the bathroom. Her face dropped quickly.

"Come on Mer, it will be fun." Ian pleaded.

"No, this is weird." Meredith responded nervously.

The picture came on showing a very naked Ian and scantily clad Meredith in the throes. They were in a very interesting position. It was dirty. It was embarrassing. It was not what you wanted your friends and boyfriend to see. Everyone stared in shock. They were frozen. Ian just smiled.

"Oh, Ian!" Meredith screamed.

"Oh God, Mer Baby." Ian moaned.

"Turn it off!" Meredith screamed as she come flying in from the kitchen. Everyone looked up at her. "Turn it off!" She immediately ran over to the t.v. and started pushing buttons. The tape came flying out of the player. "Why are you watching this?" She shouted.

"Um, it said Appendectomy. I thought it would be funny. You know, because of George." Izzie said innocently.

"You!" She scowled at Ian. "This is you!"

"Ah yes, and you. A very sexy you." Ian grinned. "I think you've aged. I missed that one. I think it was our first."

"Well, It's gone now." She said she she began tearing the ribbon out of the tape.

"Stop!" Ian said as he tried to wrestle it out of her hands. She elbowed him and continued pulling. "I would like to keep that." He said.

"Oh, I bet you would!" She spat. "Why did you label it like that?" She asked impatiently.

"I figured no one would ever watched, it. I never figured I would be in a room with a bunch of surgical freaks!" He laughed.

"Hey!" George shouted. Derek just watched. He felt bad for her. He wasn't upset, or disappointed. He knew how Ian was.

"Where are the rest?" She asked angrily.

"Um. I don't know." Ian answered innocently.

"Bullshit." She said, shaking her head.

"How many are there?" Derek asked with a worried expression.

"Um." Meredith said, fearing the embarrassment that was to come.

"Ten." Ian spat out.

"Ten!" Derek said, wide-eyed, and in shock.

"Mer, you're a porn star!" Izzie giggled.

"I am not!" Meredith replied.

"I think you are." George agreed.

"You find those tapes." She said to Ian. "All of them. Find them..." She seethed through her teeth.

She looked around at everyone. She couldn't be in this room. Everyone had just seen her in all her glory. It was humiliating. She couldn't believe the tapes were still in existence. She never wanted to so them. But Ian insisted. And she was young, and wild. She thought it would be fun. No one was supposed to see them. Poor Derek was in the middle of the whole mess. He never asked to be stuck in this. She quickly ran up the stairs. She laid down on her bed, letting the silent tears fall onto her pillow.

"I'm going to--" Derek started as he walked into the kitchen.

There sat her plate of food. It was ice cold. She hadn't even taken a bite. He felt so bad for her. He warmed her plate up and made his way up the stairs. Ian watched him intently.

"Hey." He whispered into the dark.

"Hey." She said as she sat up. I am so sorry you had to--"

"No. It was nothing. Don't even think about it." He said, putting his finger over he lips. "Now, you need to eat."

"I'm not really hungry." Meredith said, as he flipped the light on.

"You need to eat." He said simply. He forked a piece of ravioli, and place it in her mouth. "You need to eat, and I'm going to feed you..." He said.

"You are a pain in the ass!" She said as she chewed.

"A pain in the ass who is in love with you." He said with a smile.

"Why aren't you running? You should be running." She said frankly.

"I don't run away, I only run towards." He said as he sucked pasta sauce off of her lip, and kissed her. "And you, my dear, are what I have been running for my whole life."

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Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I have been very busy. After Wednesday, things should start settling down, and you should get daily updates again. There wasn't enough room in this chapter for Mer's plan. But you do know what happened to Nate. She always thought he left her. He did, but not because he wanted to. He did because Ian would have killed him...