New Authors Note:
Okay so I got this back from Sara a while ago, and just haven't had the time to update it. I've made a few subtile changes, most of which should have been blaring mistakes that I should have picked up on originally. See why a beta is your best friend!
Anyway, not much has changed just some dialogue and a few little nuances here and there. Hope it reads better! Oh yeah, I retitled it the original title I was going to use. I think it is a bite off the an Angel episode (no pun intended), but I hated that ep anyway. I just thought of it and realized that it fit pretty well. So no infringement meant to Joss or that crew either.
Old Authors Note
I need to extend some mad thanks to all of those who have taken the time to review.
Thanks especially to my team of helpers: Rachel, Stephanie and Sara. You guys deserve cakes and cookies, but my baking skills aren't that good so please accept my best gratitude!
Slshadowfox - Well it wasn't a big cliffie. At least you know that Jesse was awake.
Griffbear - I am hellbent on finishing this story. I am trying to do a few at the same time so I"m trying my best to alternate. You do have my word that I will finish this story though.
colonelsarahrabb - I'm glad that you like it so far. I hope it keeps meeting your expectations. I'm sorry that FFN is being mean. PM me if you need me to email when the next chap is done.
thedawn - Thanks and glad you've enjoyed it.
As always - I don't own it or much of anything else.
Oh and btw, I love reviews. Even the little ones that say 'good job' or 'update soon', it lets me know that you are reading and still want me to continue!
19 Waiting in the Wings 19
Angel and Beau woke at dawn and lay in bed watching the sun rising.
"Do you think she will be okay?" Angel asked Beau as she reclined her head on his chest taking comfort in his strength.
"She's strong. I don't know how long it is going to take, but she wouldn't willingly leave her team behind."
"What if she doesn't have a choice…? She lost a lot of blood and was hurt so badly."
"Remember what they told us in training… 'What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve'."
"Thanks for the pep talk, Beau." Angel frowned. "Remind me not to sign you up as an inspirational speaker."
Beau's deep rumbling laugh shook her head. He pulled her closer to him and held her in silence for a while.
"What are we going to do?" she asked tentatively breaking the silence that ensconced them.
"About what?" Beau said cocking his head to look at her.
Angel raised herself on one elbow to look into his face. "Whether we're staying or leaving. I know you have given it a lot of thought already."
"I figured we could stay for a while… If they will have us, at least until they heal." He said reflectively, "They still haven't decided what they are going to do. If they go their separate ways then we can always continue with Adam's mission on our own. Who knows, maybe one or two of them would be interested in continuing as well."
"Do you really think that they are going to give up on Adam's plan?" Angel asked. She suddenly wondered if she would want to go back to fighting for everything if she had been in their situation.
"That is their decision to make."
"True," Angel agreed. "But even if they don't want to continue on we can always start a new team and base it out of Haven if Adam is alright with it."
"I've considered that option too." Beau said with a small twitch to his lips. "Don't worry, Angel. It will all work out."
"I hope Shal will be okay," Angel tucked herself in closer to Beau and trying for a few more minutes to ignore the world.
Lexa looked into Jesse's face after his realization of what had happened during the escape. He looked scared but also a little pissed off. His expression pleaded with her to say he had dreamed the entire thing and everyone was currently safe and comfortably ensconced in beds like they were.
Lexa had gone downstairs last night for a drink and because she couldn't sleep, she had walked into the lab and found Brennan with his head resting next to Shalimar's on the pillow. The soft swishing noise of the door woke Brennan, and he looked up as Lexa entered.
Brennan had cleaned himself up while Lexa had been upstairs with Jesse, but the sadness marring his face was still a striking feature. His expression told her more then his words could ever… Nothing had changed, and Shalimar was still unconscious.
Lexa made sure he had eaten and didn't need anything before giving up and accepting that he wasn't in the mood to talk. She had retreated briefly after their short conversation and returned to the room with Jesse. If anything had changed no one had let her know yet, and she was pretty sure that she wouldn't be kept in the dark.
At Lexa's despondent look, Jesse was almost positive he had his answer. "She was shot," his voice remarked distantly. His eyes turned up to hers for a moment with hesitant hope, "She's alive, right?"
"Yeah, she's in the infirmary now." Lexa paused, trying to find the right words.
"Is she going to be okay?"
"Jess, I'm not sure." The look of confusion and longing in her lover's eyes caused her mouth to open and the words to just tumble out despite of the pain she wanted to spare him. "She was shot when we were rescuing you guys, she lost a lot of blood and we had to transfuse her."
"Well that's good, right?" Jesse was still desperately searching his mind for some memory of the tragic events. He knew by Lexa's expression that she was holding something back and wanted to know what else she was missing. "Lexa, what aren't you telling me?" Shalimar was like a sister and a best friend rolled into one, and if he could do anything for her he would.
Lexa silently cursed herself for trying to draw out this talk with irrational dreams that Shalimar would come bursting through the door to check on Jesse at any moment and everything would be fine. She hated being the bearer of bad news all the time. She sucked in a deep breath and ripped the bandage off the wound completely. "Jess, she's unconscious. She's in a coma because of blood loss and a really bad hit to the head that the doctor wanted to reevaluate this morning."
Jesse was only able to stare with a pained expression while his mind processed the ramifications of what had happened. "I need to see her."
Brennan sat in the infirmary with Shalimar. There were no windows but the clock read that it was 6:08; he could only assume that it was in the morning even though the night felt extremely long. He had only dozed briefly during the night but felt surprisingly alert. He had thanked Lexa again when she had come in to see if there was any change in Shalimar's condition. The look on her face said that she was disappointed, and would have preferred to see Shalimar awake rather then the flimsy thank you.
The door opened and Mira walked through bringing Brennan out of his thoughts. "I guess she hasn't had any changes since last night?" she asked quietly as she began to recheck Shalimar's vital signs.
Brennan just looked up; his expression was all the confirmation she needed. His vision swung back to Shalimar's sleeping form as if daring her to make a liar out of him. He frowned as his irrational hopes were dashed yet again.
"Brennan, you need to give her some time. I'm going to run some more scans this morning. Yesterday all the other damage needed immediate attending to, but it is my top priority today." She pulled the scanner over and started to adjust the settings. "I'm going to get a good image of her head today and see if there is any intracranial hemorrhaging. We can proceed those results."
"Okay," his voice was flat and expressionless. "What else is there to do?"
"Nothing right now. Could you go check on the others? I need to check out Jesse once I've completed and looked over Shalimar's scans. Make sure their awake and bring them down." She said as she continued to set the computer for the scans and focused her attention on Shalimar.
Brennan frowned at the thought of leaving Shalimar's side, but the inaction was starting to irritate him. He gave Shalimar a lingering kiss on the corner of her lips. "Shal, I know you can hear me. You need to come out of this. I'm not sure what we'll do without you… what I'll do without you," he whispered softly in her ear and stood to leave. He paused and watched her eyelids flicker as if in a deep dream and felt his heart skip a beat.
Mira caught his expression. "Brennan, she's still in a phase similar to a REM cycle." Her voice had a sad tone to it.
"But that's the first time I've seen her do that. I could have sworn she was going to open them." He tried to find something to latch onto. "Shal, can you hear me? Wake up! You need to wake up!" The only answer was another soft flicker of her eyelids as she continued to remain nearly motionless. He was torn between shaking Shalimar in an attempt to wake her and the knowledge that he would rip open her wounds by the action. His insides felt like they were being ripped apart. He just wanted her to be okay.
"Bren, go get the others. I promise to yell for you if anything happens." Mira said softly but firmly, pleading with the younger man to take a break for his own sanity.
He looked up and saw the honesty in her expression. "Just call. I'll be right back." With that, he walked out of the room, head hung low.
Mira looked down at Shalimar. "You have a lot to come back to. You have friends that love you and a life that is ready to begin. I know you can hear me, Shalimar. Let's see what I can do to help you." Mira began the scans and anxiously looked over the results.
Lexa watched as Jesse struggled to force his body into motion faster then it could comply. "Jess, take it easy. You're going to hurt yourself!"
"Lex, she got shot because of me." His tone was condemning. "I should have been doing more then lying there useless!"
"There was nothing you could do! You were injured and you said it yourself… you barely remember what happened."
"I remember enough to know that I should have been doing more." His tone was quiet, almost defeated. "She would have been there to save me."
"Jess… She was." Lexa's voice had a slight edge of impatience. She felt enough guilt about Shalimar's condition.
A sharp rapping on the door stopped the conversation from escalating any further.
"Lexa? Jesse?" Brennan's voice called.
"Brennan." Jesse's tone became hopeful hearing the other man's voice.
Brennan cracked open the door and looked in. He made an honest effort to look and be happy to see Jesse awake and looking well. "You're looking better." It was the closest to a happy greeting he could give at the moment.
"You're looking good too. You finally lost the gruff," Jesse replied remembering the last time they had seen each other Brennan's face had been covered with thick dark hair. The inane chatter helped him to focus on avoiding any bad news.
Lexa noticed the blue elephant sitting in the room that both men were trying insanely hard to avoid and couldn't take it any more then a few moments. "She's not awake, is she?"
Brennan's eyes dropped to the ground and the muscles in his jaw clenched. Lexa took his hand and pulled him to the side of the bed to sit between herself and Jesse. "She moved a little right before I came up. I thought that was it… That she was going to wake up," his voice was soft and sullen. "When she didn't Mira said that it's just common reaction of the body to subconscious thoughts and dreams. She's doing some scans now to see if Shal has any bleeding in her brain."
"I'm shocked she even got you to leave," Lexa teased gently.
"I'm tired of feeling useless. I keep waiting and nothing is happening." Brennan admitted. "I was up with her most of the night and nothing's changed. I'm tired of feeling worthless and I'm going to go crazy if I do nothing but sit there and wait for her to wake up." The silent fear that she might not wake was left unsaid.
"Bren, she's been through a lot worse. She'll pull through," Jesse said as he tried to find the strength to encourage them all. "A few months before you came to join us she was thrown off a seven story roof onto a car." Jesse remembered. "She just about drove Adam and me crazy when she woke up. She was hell bent on finding the jerk who threw her off the roof. She had a cast on one leg, one arm and three broken ribs." He felt a small smirk emerge as he remembered the choice words she had thrown at him and Adam when they wouldn't let her out of Sanctuary.
"She told me about that." Brennan felt a smile tug at his lips. "She said that she was out for almost two days then."
"She's tough, Bren," Lexa said slightly fortified by the conversation. "She's not going to let this beat her."
"Hey, are you guys awake?" Angel's voice carried through the door.
"C'mon in," Jesse said and watched the door open as Angel and Beau appeared. "It looks like we're all up early."
"Military, never can sleep past six." Beau said as he took in the scene before him. "It's good to see you awake, Jesse." He extended his hand to shake Jesse's.
"Yeah, you were definitely out of it last night." Angel said giving him a gentle hug after Beau had pulled away.
"It's good to be awake and out of that hell hole. Thank you." The younger man's expression was pure gratitude toward the two ferals. He noticed how Beau by himself made the room look small, so with five of them crammed into the cramped bedroom, it was becoming almost claustrophobic.
Lexa noticed his expression and stood up. "Well, I say we go have some breakfast."
Brennan let out a small laugh. "I almost forgot the reason I came up. Mira wanted to check you out this morning." He said, motioning to Jesse.
Jesse's face took on a frown before nodding in agreement. The idea of being poked and prodded seemed to lack any appeal.
"So let's all get downstairs then, Jesse can get checked out and we can get some grub." Brennan stood and followed Beau and Angel out of the room with Jesse and Lexa in tow.
When they arrived at the lab, Mira looked up into the expectant faces. She felt bad she didn't have better information, but what she had wasn't terrible at least.
"How is she?" Brennan walked over and stroked Shalimar's hair off of her forehead.
"Her scans show that she did have a small hemorrhage in her temporal lobe, but it has stopped and started to heal itself." Mira glanced up at the quizzical and questioning expressions. "She had some pressure on her brain, but it appears to be healing. I'm not sure how long she will be out, but thankfully her feral DNA has aided her recovery." the soft smiles and hopeful looks reminded her why she loved practicing medicine. She glanced over to Jesse. "You guys go start breakfast. I'm going to give Jesse an exam and make sure that nothing else is wrong. From what I've seen though, Angel and Lexa have done a fine job."
Lexa gave Jesse a soft kiss as the others filed out of the room then followed.
"Do you want me to stay?" Brennan asked as he stroked Shalimar's hair and ran his hand down her cheek.
Jesse looked at the pain lining Brennan's face and knew he felt similar. He also knew that keeping Brennan occupied would cut down on the frustration that he had to be feeling, so he tried to act nonchalant in hopes that Brennan would preoccupy himself, if only for a little bit. "Nah, go get breakfast started. I shouldn't be too long."
Brennan looked to Mira who only nodded and motioned for him to go. He gave one more longing look at Shalimar's face then turned and left.
Ian was in the kitchen when the group arrived. He had pulled out a plethora of breakfast food and looked up expectantly as they filed in. "What would you guys like for breakfast?" He was happy for the small favor of being able to do something else for the team. His job had been relegated to watching and waiting when they had returned from the mission. He had aided Mira with Shalimar, but now all of the important work to be done was complete. Stopping in the lab when he had woken up had shown him a frustrated Mira and a still unconscious Shalimar. After a brief talk with Mira, he'd decided his best course of action was to make some breakfast for his guests. It was busy work, but he hated feeling futile.
Breakfast was made and devoured with a casual air. Jesse joined them halfway through stating he had to let a cracked rib, wrist sprain and twisted ankle heal but was otherwise in decent form. He joined Lexa at the table and speared some pancakes off of her plate while waiting for his. Brennan watched the display and smiled. He quickly finished off his coffee and omelet then returned to the lab.
"You can go have some breakfast if you'd like," he said as he entered and saw Mira typing at the terminal.
She looked up for a moment. "You don't mind sitting with her?"
"Never," he said, glad that his voice held steady.
"Okay. I want to finish reading these results and see if there's anything I missed, but I could really use some coffee." Mira stood and walked to the door. As she passed Brennan, she put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "We'll wake her up."
He could only smile and pray that she wasn't lying. He watched as she walked through the door leaving him alone with Shalimar once again.
"Jesse's going to be okay. You were here though, so you probably heard all of that before we even knew. God, Shal, I'm so glad you came for us. I wasn't sure how much longer we were going to be able to hang on." His voice cracked slightly. He held her hand in both of his as it rested on her stomach. "You just need to wake up. We'll do anything you want. We can be anything you want to be. I just need you in my life." The tears silently streamed down his face. His pretense of strength slowly fell away. "I've never known anyone like you. I feel so stupid for all the times that I avoided talking about our relationship. I was happy to have you. I guess I'm just a coward for not wanting to voice my desire for a deeper commitment with you. I… I lo…" His voice faltered as Shalimar took a deep gasping breath and clenched his hand under hers. "MIRA!"
I hope this read better then the first time around, and if you are just reading this, I'm glad you missed all of my crappy mistakes the first time!