Just a warning... I did my best to clean this up on my own, but I was really impatient to get this out, so when my beta's get back to me I will probably be able to clean up my mistakes better. I apologize up front for them, their all my fault!
Okay, here's the deal, you have hung in this far, don't forward to the end to mess up the ending for yourself! I worked pretty hard on making this the best scene I could with what my brain gave me. I hope you like it.
kai0707 - Sorry, what can I say, I had to do it. I was hoping to capture the emotions well and I'm glad to know you think I did. I wanted a nice little interlude for all of the characters.
Mxfan214 - I'm really glad you have liked it so far. Thanks for reviewing! I hope you enjoy the rest. Feel free to tell me I suck at any time!
Stormchilde - Here I am, and I was impatient so I hope I don't have too many glaring mistakes!
sbfangal - I know you have been here the whole time and I love you for it! Again I'm sorry I did it that way. I hope that this will be okay for you!
Bekki-Webster - Thanks so much for the nice words. I'm glad that I'm writing a good story and you have enjoyed it. Thanks for not yelling at me :)
Shal35 - I will have to check out your story. Sorry I haven't already. Time hasn't been my friend lately. I will definitely leave you a review when I see it! Thank you so much for reviewing and the nice words. I promise that I will finish this story, it might just take me a little time.
And to the really nice person that said they never leave reviews, but somehow I lost their PM, I just wanted to say thank you so much for taking the time to let me know. It is one of the best things a writer can hear!
If your name is missing that's because you haven't said anything to me, LOL! Anyway I really hope you like this chapter. I had to make some gut wrenching decisions to do it.
Vague disclaimer - I don't own anything, really, honestly and truly!
20 Choices of the Heart 20
She felt like she was wading in a mixture of fog and pea soup. Nothing was clear or concrete around her. She could have been walking for days for all she knew. There was no light or darkness, just a never ending haze.
Occasionally she heard voices in the distance, but when she tried to call out her voice felt throttled. The feral in her was becoming wired and upset. She took a deep breath and tried to focus.
There it was again. That voice. It sounded like Brennan calling her name and telling her to wake up. She groaned in frustration. Where the hell am I? Her brain asked for what felt like the hundredth time. The question was getting old. She needed to do something.
Focusing on the meditation skills that Adam taught her, she centered herself and tried to remember the last things to happen…
Lexa was sitting at the table with her at the safe house. They were talking about Jesse and Brennan. Then her mind shifted to Ian's house. They were preparing to infiltrate the prison holding Jesse and Brennan. Again, her mind jumped to a different scene. She was battling a huge man. She felt her head slammed against the wall and almost blacked-out. She saw Jesse. He was tied up and his mind being probed by a psionic. She remembered the feeling of killing the psionic. The animal inside her roared with victory.
Shalimar felt nauseous as she relived that scene. This was everything Adam had never wanted her to become, a murderer, and a cold blooded killer. He would be so disappointed in her now. Her mind rebelled against the thought, telling her that she had every right to kill the people that had hunted and tried to kill them. The Dominion had no pity or remorse for all they had taken from her. But I'm supposed to be better then that, the voice in her head sobbed.
Shalimar tried to refocus her energy on remembering the past events. She remembered an electric moment where she saw Brennan for the first time in months. He looked haggard and worn but still ready to fight… There was a gunshot and she was looking into Brennan's mahogany eyes as he held her. She was in pain, but his presence and his love had overruled all other things.
Her body rapidly changed though. There was a searing heat tearing through her and she felt like she had been dumped in a bath of water either scalding or freezing The feeling came on so abruptly it flashed through her system and made it impossible to tell.
"Brennan what's wrong." Mira said racing into the room.
"I don't know." Brennan said looking up with panic and confusion written across his face. "She grabbed my hand and took a deep breath. Then she started this…" he trailed off as his motioned to Shalimar's slightly convulsing body and slow gasping breaths. "She won't stop and her monitor went all wacky…" he looked up again as Mira began to look at the monitors and Shalimar's vitals. "DO SOMETHING!" he shouted at Mira.
"She's gone into V-Fib. Brennan, get back. Ian, I need you over here now!" Mira started barking orders. Shalimar was originally hooked up to a basic monitor, but had to be attached to the defibrillator quickly so they were able to register her heart rhythm and shock her. "Angel and Lexa start CPR."
The two women started after only a split second hesitation. Angel grabbed a bag-mask device to perform the breathing while Lexa gave a scared look before she pressed down on Shalimar's chest and grimaced when she heard a pop as a rib broke. Together they both started the cycle of compressions and ventilations, all the while telling Shalimar that she wasn't allowed to die.
Beau held onto Brennan and Jesse as they panicked, trying to figure out what to do to help. The larger man tried to calm them telling them that Mira needed Brennan to save his strength incase the defibrillator failed, and Jesse would only hurt himself further if he tried to aid in the CPR.
"Here's the defib. I'll set it up while you give the first round of drugs." Ian said rushing to Mira's side with the manual defibrillator. He set up the machine and began to verify the heart rhythm. "Angel and Lexa stop for a moment." Ian said as he and Mira evaluated the rhythm on the screen.
"Charging, everyone stand back!" Mira called before placing the paddles on Shalimar's chest and pressing the buttons causing the limp body to jolt slightly. "She's still in V-Fib, charging and everyone clear!"
The pain that ran through Shalimar was excruciating. She wanted to wake up now. This had stopped being annoying, it was now painful and she hated it. A light appeared to her right side. Out of it walked a face she was positive she would never see again… Emma.
"You did a good job on yourself, Shal." Emma said with a teasing smile.
Shalimar looked down and for the first time noticed the blood pouring out of an open wound in her stomach and the multiple burns and abrasions on her body. "What happened?"
"You remember." Emma said
"That was real? We saved the guys?" Shalimar asked, watching Emma's nod. Shalimar tried to figure out what Emma was doing standing in front of her. Shalimar was upset that her old friend wasn't hugging her or showing the joy Shalimar felt at seeing the red head.
Shalimar's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "What are you doing here? Who are you?"
"It's really me, Shal. I'd hug you, but I kinda can't." Emma's voice took on a softer, sadder note.
"Continue CPR." Mira called as she injected Epinephrine and Atropine into Shalimar's I.V. "Lexa, deeper compressions."
Lexa blanched as she got a better purchase and pushed harder. She found strength in her anger ….Anger for making her care… Anger at Shalimar for getting hurt... Anger for even thinking about leaving her alone to deal with the aftermath.
"Okay, clear and let me analyze again." Mira called the CPR progression to a halt. "She's still in V-fib. Charging, everybody clear!"
Shalimar looked into Emma's eyes and saw the truth behind the statement. "What's going on here?" her voice sounded hesitant, even to her own ears.
"You need to make a decision. You can come with me or go back to the unknown." Emma stated, her voice flat, but a hint of sadness hid in her expression.
"Am I dead?" Shalimar asked. She couldn't be. It was only a little blood, right?
"That's for you to find out. I'm not allowed to help you with your decision. I'm just here to enable your choice."
Shalimar felt her eyes well up with tears. She felt the warm and welcoming light behind Emma. Turning around Shalimar saw the gray shift to darkness behind her. "It's a choice of unknown or the abyss." Shalimar said looking again to Emma.
"Shalimar, you need to choose…" Emma stopped for a moment and looked as if she debated about saying something. Her face cleared as she made her choice. "You know that I love you and never blamed you right?"
The pain welled up in Shalimar's eyes as she looked into the psionic's; she missed her friend for so long, and prayed to hear for forgiveness. Shalimar looked to Emma and decided to make her choice. "I love you too, Emma. You know me. So you should know my answer." Shalimar brought her hand up by Emma's cheek as she felt the tears cascading down her own.
"Be well, Shal." Emma said as she stemmed the flow of tears from her own face. She watched as Shalimar turned quickly and headed into the dark. "You were the best friend I've ever had." she added softly as she slowly faded into the light.
Shalimar walked determinedly into the darkness that felt like a vortex. The black closed around her and she felt like she couldn't breathe or move…
"Nothing, Damn it! Get me the spare batteries." Mira yelled as the defibrillator flashed angrily at her with a dead battery signal.
"Mira, they're dead." Ian said ripping into drawers looking for anything else that they could use.
"Let me." Brennan said walking up to Shalimar's form and grabbing Mira's hand from across the table.
Mira looked him hard in the eye for a moment and realized that he would kill himself before standing idly by and letting Shalimar die. She nodded in agreement. "Everyone clear!"
Brennan felt the energy charge between his hands. He concentrated hard on how much to use and the feeling of what energy level was between his hands. One glance told him that everyone had moved back and he applied his hands to Shalimar's chest and felt the electricity rip through her body.
Beep, beep, beep, beep…
Mira breathed out a sigh of relief and looked to Brennan with a smile on her face. "You did it!"
"Did what?" a raspy voice called from the table.
"Shal?!" the people in the room called in unison.
Now tell me that you loved it and I did the right thing! I really hope I did. I was gonna keep you in suspense for one more chapter, but I couldn't. The death threats were getting serious. I mean really sending Monty Python's killer rabbit after me? How evil! I hope you liked the little segue with Emma. I thought it would be sweet. Maybe I'm just being stupid.
Please R&R! I promise naked Brennan and Shal in a future chapter!