New AN:

Thanks so much to all of my fans and to Sara for taking the time to clean up my errors!

Old AN:

The next chapter is finally here! I really hope there is someone still reading this, and to be honest I'm surprised I didn't get more angry emails. I am making a promise though... I only have another chapter or so to go and I'm going to make this my priority. I have a few other story ideas and even though I want to get started with them, I can't in good conscience until I finish this. I have delayed this story far too long.

As always the Mature version will be posted on my site.

Onto my thanks...

Kai0707 - I'm so sorry that this took me so damn long. I hope the B/S in this chapter will make up for a little of it.

tampabay16 - Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, and I'm glad I got J/L down okay. I really appreciate all of the fb even though it seems to take me forever to get this stuff cranked out!

sbfangal - Again I'm sorry for this taking as long as it has. I hope that I've done this chapter justice. I'm kinda saddened that I realized its almost done. :(

stormchilde03 - I'm so glad you liked the J/L stuff. It took me so long to get them in character. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. I love Lexa and she has become such a good character for me to use.

Angelstorm21 - I didn't forget it, but RL got in the way again. Stupid real world! I'm so glad that you love the story and I hope that you like the upcoming stuff too!

Thanks also to my beta's who have made my messy writing a little bit easier. Steph, Sara, Rachel, you guys are the best. I know they didn't beta this yet, but they deserve so much credit for all the help they've given me so far.

As always... do you think that I own them? No, really tell me if I do, I'll make all of the changes that should have been made!

Chapter 23: Before the Sunset

The air felt crisp and clean. Shalimar could hear the birds singing in the trees and had to tamp down the urge to scale the big oak next to her that just seemed to be screaming her name. As it was, she was close to healed, but had been warned repeatedly by Mira that she was to take it easy and avoid anything too taxing. She hated not being able to climb up and get away from everything. The truth was that the past few days had been so crazy, that she needed time to let herself think about it all and… Brennan. High above everyone had always been one of her favorite places.

The sound of footsteps padding down the path behind her pulled her from those musings before their owner's voice did. "I know what you're thinking," Lexa's voice teased. "I also know that if you pull those stitches before Mira wants them out, you will be on restriction for another three weeks."

Shalimar continued to look wistfully up the beckoning oak. "I bet ya I wouldn't pull anything," she mused quietly before she turned her head with a quirk to her eyebrow in the brunette's direction.

Lexa walked over to the tree and leaned her back against it facing Shalimar, "It's your ass if they pop." Lexa's voice had taken on a wry tone and a smile tugged on the corners of her lips.

Shalimar frowned and kicked aimlessly at a rock on the ground before looking up at Lexa again. "It's been two weeks," she sighed. "I just want to be able to enjoy the warm snap and the luxury of the outdoors again."

Jesse's injuries were almost completely healed. Beau's arm was back to full function with no loss of movement. Brennan's minor injuries were healed within the first week. He and Jesse had been put on a diet plan by Ian to help them regain their weight while Angel helped with workout programs for the both of them. Shalimar had felt slightly jealous of the other feral female for her ability to help the guys heal and recondition themselves but accepted the fact that it was for the best. Right now Shalimar was allowed to walk around… and seethe at the time it was taking her to heal.

Lexa pushed off from the tree and tugged Shalimar's arm pulling her onto the path that led to the creek. The two walked in companionable silence for the short walk to the drop-off bordering the creek. The two hadn't talked much since Brennan and Jesse's escape. It seemed like they were always going in different directions. Shalimar appreciated the fact that Lexa had been the one to come out here and find her. They had become close while the guys were MIA and Shalimar missed her friend.

"Shal," Lexa's voice broke Shalimar's musings and she met Lexa's hazel green eyes. "I never said thank you," the brunette's voice was almost a whisper on the breeze surrounding them.

It took Shalimar a moment to figure out what Lexa had been referring to. Then it came to her as she noticed Lexa's line of sight directly on her healing abdomen. The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had a chance to realize what she was saying. "Lexa, I wasn't going to let them hurt anyone if I could have stopped it." Lexa's face took on a slight downcast before masking it quickly at Shalimar's hasty brush off of her apology and Shalimar realized that something else needed to be said. Lexa had a hard enough time of connecting with people, and apologizing was not Lexa's forte. "You are my family, and I made my decision. I'd do it all over again if I had to." She wrapped Lexa in her arms as tight as she could without causing herself more injury.

Lexa was quiet for a long time as she returned Shalimar's embrace. The brunette finally pulled away and looked into the mahogany eyes that shown with caring and affection, "You need to stop getting hurt." Her voice had taken on a wry tone, "I don't think the rest of us can handle it if we lose you."

Shalimar was taken aback by Lexa's openness and honesty. The light bender was rarely forward with her emotions and since the guys return she had seemed slightly distant. Shalimar could only guess that Lexa was still trying to process all of the emotions and come to terms with her feelings.

"Shal?" Brennan's voice called from down the path.

"You're stalker's come looking for you," Lexa's face broke into a huge grin.

Over the past several weeks Brennan was loathe to let Shalimar out of his sight. He had been tormented repeatedly about Shalimar needing a restraining order in order to go to the bathroom in private. Shalimar appreciated his protectiveness but was feeling slightly smothered, which was why she found herself sneaking outside earlier when he had been discussing some planning and projecting with Ian, Jesse, and Beau.

"We can disappear if you want," Lexa offered out her hand.

Shalimar smiled and nodded her head. She knew that she had hovered over Brennan when he hurt himself, but that didn't mean that she couldn't have some fun through. She smirked at Lexa and mouthed 'just for a moment' and grabbed Lexa's hand.

Brennan turned the corner and swore under his breath as he saw no one standing by the creek ledge. Shalimar felt her lips curve upward as she saw Brennan turn and retrace his steps. She could practically hear him thinking where he would try and look for her next. Her game, although fun, needed to come to an end. She pulled on Lexa's hand and they quietly walked up behind Brennan.

He came to an abrupt halt and spun around almost causing the two women to crash into him. Shalimar was unable to contain herself as the giggles erupted and the secret was out. Lexa dropped the cloak and Brennan looked between the two women scowling.

"Funny, real funny," he huffed and started to walk away.

Shalimar caught his smile as he started to turn and grabbed onto his arm before he could get too far. "You know that I will be okay on my own for five minutes, right?"

He sighed and looked to Lexa who had taken on a pointed expression. Shalimar could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

"I think I left my curling iron on," Lexa said abruptly. "I'm gonna just go… ah hell, would you two just talk this damn thing out!" she huffed and strode away from the two lovers.

Brennan looked anywhere but Shalimar's face for a few moments. Shalimar put her hand on his face and tugged his jaw down to look at her. "I think that was our signal to talk," she mused.

He shook his head and started walking toward the creek edge where a fallen log had been made into a bench and sat down. Shalimar followed and sat beside him. The silence was tense, but neither knew where to start first.

The blond finally decided that she needed to start the conversation or she might be watching the fish spawn return upstream when they matured. "Bren, what's going on?"

His elbows were on his knees and his hands were clasped together. His head had sunk onto his clenched hands and he made no movement for a long moment. He took a deep breath before he turned and looked at her for a moment. "I don't know what to think about what we learned. I mean Adam has been working on things for ages and we never knew. We have a choice as to what we want to do now?" he almost spat out the last few words with loathing.

Shalimar watched in silence. She knew that this had been weighing on him for several days. Her mind flashed back to the scene in the kitchen only two days before.

The group of faces seated around the table had grown and changed so much in the past four years, was the only thought that Shalimar could bring herself to focus on as Ian and Lexa went about explaining Haven and all of Adam's other notes to everyone. Lexa and Ian had been tag teaming Adam's notes the past two weeks while most everyone else was still in recovery. Lexa had taken on an especially grueling schedule to figure out what needed to be done if they were to restart Mutant X. She had also been reading through Adam's notes on The Dominion. This included what would need to be done so that they could function without the threat of being captured or killed by the Dominion operatives. She had been searching for some type of solution, but she seemed to finally have come to a conclusion.

"…Adam was sure if it." Lexa paused for a breath. "The Dominion knows their operatives are barely a match for us, and he's pretty sure if he were to reason with them, they would operate with us."

"No, we tried that before and look what happened to Sanctuary!" Brennan's voice sliced through the air like a sharp knife. "Look what happened to us!" His voice was quieter this time, but held reproach and conviction with every word.

A glance around the table showed most of the members wincing and sucking in breaths.

"Well Bren, we could just take to hiding for what's left of our lives!" Jesse said scathingly.

"So what, we just ask permission to join the force that we were trying to annihilate?" the tone in Brennan's voice was icy.

"No Brennan!" Lexa slapped her hand on the table causing her drink to slosh in her cup. "Adam's right, keep your enemies close. This could work. Besides they have the technology and access to keep us alive!"

Angel and Beau sat with guarded expressions on their face toward the opposite end of the table. Neither had made a move or attempted a comment until this point. It was Beau's soft accented tones that brought everyone back down. "Both of you have a point." He said looking first to Brennan and then to Lexa, "but I think that we all need time to think about what we want to do."

Shalimar could see Brennan's frustration etched over his face and placed her hand over his in what she hoped was reassurance. He looked at her briefly, but long enough for her to know that he was dropping this fight for now.

Lexa stood straight again and took a deep breath before continuing, "Maybe we need some time to think about this and mull through our ideas. Maybe we can come back in a few days and talk about what we want to do a little less emotionally." Her words were hard, but the resigned look on her face showed her desire for this plan of action.

Before anyone could answer Brennan was up and leaving the room, slamming the front door on his way out.

Shalimar found her voice after a moment and looked into Brennan's deep mocha eyes before he turned his sight back down to the ground, "We've always had a choice Bren." She ignored his derisive snort before continuing on. "Remember what we talked about after Adam disappeared?"

Brennan looked up at her again and nodded but didn't hold her gaze; instead he stared across the flowing water.

"We chose to follow Adam," she couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her lips. She too had felt betrayed when Adam left, only to return with cryptic messages. Then to tell them that the people who they had been working for, he had been working for, were in fact the people they should be fighting against. She had no idea where the myriad of emotions stopped. "Each of us just needs to decide what we want to do now."

They were both silent for a long time. The water splashed in small torrents below their vantage and an occasional fish leapt from the water breaking the steady rhythm of the stream.

Brennan turned and grabbed her hand, pulling her attention back to him, "I meant what I said Shal." Her confusion must have lined her features because his lips slightly upturned before continuing, "We can go wherever you want."

Shalimar felt her heart flip for a moment before the words of the scene a few days ago flashed through her mind. She stood up abruptly, pulling her hand away from Brennan. Suddenly she felt angry and she didn't know why, but she wanted to lash out at him for his remark. The words left her mouth before she realized that she was saying them. "How can you say that?"

The expression on his face might have been comical in another setting. "What do you mean, Shal?"

"You say that, but ever since we've been back together you have hovered over me incessantly but have barely made any move to touch me!" She held up her hand to stop him from answering. "You've barely kissed me since that first night and most of the time you wait until you think I'm asleep and then get up and sit in the chair or go out somewhere! I'm getting this push and pull feeling from you and I don't know what to make of it. Then you go and tell me those words again and I'm not sure what that means. I'm not going to be you're only reason for staying, but I'm not sure I want to leave!" Her voice had raised several notches and she was pacing in front of him with her arms wrapped around her stomach.

Brennan's face was bordering on stormy for a moment, but then it dropped and was replaced by an unreadable expression. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his lap bringing his hands up to frame her face. Before she knew it he had pulled her face to his and was kissing her. Her shocked gasp allowed him entrance into her mouth and she felt herself give into the sensations of his hands wandering through her hair and stroking the sides of her face for a moment.

Then she realized what he was trying to do and pushed back from him with her eyes blazing. "No," she said scrambling to get to her feet. "No, Bren, you are not going to try and appease me like that!" She began to pace angrily in front of him again.

He stood and blocked her path. As she tried to maneuver around him, he grabbed her arms and held her firm. His eyes once again took on the stormy glaze. His voice was harsh, "What do you want me to tell you, Shal? Do you want me to tell you that I can't sleep most of the times, and when I do I have these horrific memories that are burned into my mind replay themselves over and over? Do you want me to tell you that I dream of killing people?" His eyes were slightly unfocused and she felt the slight tremors in his hands as they clenched her upper arms. He continued in a voice so low that it was almost a whisper, "Do you want me to tell you how many times they tortured me with visions of you in pain?" his voice sounded almost hollow. "Or how I dream of you being shot again, but this time killed?"

Shalimar looked up and saw the tears brimming in his eyes. Her hand involuntarily moved to his face and caressed his cheek before she felt herself whisper, "Yes."

He shrugged her hand away and let go of her before he retraced the steps she had retraced earlier. She knew that he wanted to run but she couldn't let him. If she let him run now, she ran the risk of him bottling this up even further and she would never get it out of him. He walked past her and from the way he was walking she had a feeling he wasn't going to stop. She did the only thing that she could think of on short notice that would guarantee him to stay for at least a few more minutes.

She tackled him.

Her side gave a violent stab of pain and she prayed that she hadn't pulled any stitches or started bleeding. The wound was mostly healed, but she still hadn't mended enough that she wouldn't tear the skin.

Brennan landed on his face underneath her and let out an 'ump' followed by a growl. "Get off," he said trying to stand and untangle her from him.

"No, Brennan," Shalimar said as she rolled him over and straddled his waist and pinned his shoulders to the ground. "You need to talk about this," she pleaded softly. "We need to talk about this." She hoped that her words would register and he would listen.

He struggled for a few moments and she felt more then one pain shoot through her side as she held firm on her grip of him. He looked up at her and for a moment she could feel his hopelessness and sensation of being lost. It made her heart break.

"I don't want to talk about it," he resigned collapsing back onto the ground and closing his eyes.

His hands planted themselves on her hips, but she stayed alert for the possible ploy where he would try and throw her off. His hands began to move and drift across her sides and over her stomach where they stopped and his eyes flew open and looked to where his hand landed on the wet, red, stain that had spread on her shirt.

"Damn it, Shal," he swore pushing her back into his lap as he sat up and peeled at her shirt to see the damage she had done to herself.

She had strained her stitches, but hadn't torn them. She had exerted them just enough to tear at her skin and start some bleeding.

"I'm okay, Bren," she said trying to brush his hands out of the way and push her shirt back down. "It's not the first time it's happened," she continued as she applied some pressure with a gauze she had in her pocket and watched as the blood trickled to a stop. She looked up with a small smile, "See, all better…" whatever she was going to say was stopped by the ghostly pallor that his face had taken on. "Bren?"

He looked up, but she felt as if he was looking through her rather then at her. His voice was distant when he finally spoke. "There was so much blood… I watched them beat you and you just kept bleeding… I didn't think someone could lose that much blood." His eyes blinked and tears trailed down his cheeks. Shalimar sat stock still and let him continue. "You, Lexa, Jesse… they just kept going, until I thought I was going insane." His eyes focused back on her and she saw his pain clearly though the dark orbs.

"Brennan, we're fine," she said pulling his hands away from his waist and to her face. She tenderly kissed each palm and trailed her hands down his arms until they reached his face where she wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and brought her lips to each lid and softly kissed them. She trailed her lips over his nose and on each cheek, tasting the salty tears that remained. He sat stock still and seemed to almost be afraid to move. His hands had once again fallen to her side and were clenching on her hips. "I'm here, Bren. I promise not to leave you," she said hoping to break his catatonic state.

His grip increased slightly, but that was the only clue that he heard her. She knew that he had been tortured, but both he and Jesse had avoided any talk about it. Lexa had mentioned a few days ago that Jesse had finally broken and talked about his time with the Dominion. Shalimar had become increasingly worried that Brennan seemed to be repressing everything. Now it was an emotional rollercoaster ride for him.

He hadn't responded, and she was becoming worried. "Brennan, look at me," she demanded, trying to snap his focus back to the present. His eyes finally met hers and she couldn't have stopped the words that flowed from her mouth, "I love you, Brennan." She was shocked that she had said it. It wasn't planned and she knew that it might make their choices more difficult, but her heart apparently didn't care.

The words must have hit him like a bucket of ice water because his eyes came into focus and he looked at Shalimar like a starving man at a buffet. His hands came up so quickly that it surprised even her. He framed her face and brought his lips to hers in a searing kiss. It was different from the past several they had shared. It was needy and all consuming. Shalimar felt as if she had never been kissed like that before. She returned his desire and reacquainted her tongue with his and basked in his taste. The orange juice he had drank this morning and a taste that was entirely him. He slowed down a little and tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth before parting for air. His hands still framed her face and her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and shoulders.

"I love you," he said hoarsely. "I've never been in love like this before and it scares me."

For a moment his confession left her reeling, but she quickly regained her mind and brought her lips back to his in a slow kiss. She nibbled at both of his lips and ran her tongue along his teeth before caressing the inside of his mouth. The surge of emotions between them felt like a fire blazing. His tongue slid against hers in an erotic dance as her hands worked his shirt free from his jeans and traced the definition that was slowly returning to his abdomen. Her mouth left his to venture down his jaw and trace the outline of his ear and trail it with light bites. He sucked in a breath and she pushed him flat to the ground and hovered over top of him as she worked her way down his neck kissing and nipping.

His hands were under her shirt and she sighed as he came in contact with her bare flesh. His name came out as a soft murmur on her lips as he trailed his hands up her sides and to the sides of her bra-encased breasts. He brought his hands back down and dipped them along the waistband of her jeans before moving them up to her face and angling her head back up for a deep soul-shattering kiss.

She moved her legs up to straddle his hips and ground herself into him. The feeling of his length straining against the fabric encasing him caused her to whimper with need into his mouth. Her hands moved to his jeans again and as they started to work the button-fly his hands wrapped firmly around hers. Her eyes met his again.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," he let out a soft laugh before continuing. "But maybe we should wait, or at least go back to the house."

Shalimar looked into his eyes and got lost in him all over again. It took her a moment to respond, "Do you want this now?"

"More then anything," he answered honestly.

She grinned a feral smile and broke her hands free from his. "Don't make me wait any longer," she whispered as she began to undo his buttons. She made no pretense of going slow. This was about them healing each other. She melded her lips to his as they continued to pull at each others clothes.

His duster was peeled off and laid on the ground. He reclined back on it and looked up at her for a long moment. Sitting up, he pulled off her shirt and marveled at her bra for only a minute before flicking open the clasp and sliding it down her shoulders.

Her nails scraped down his back and she felt a pang of sorrow at the ribs and bones she felt beneath the skin. She tamped those thoughts down and pushed him backwards to pull his jeans off. Both his jeans and boxers were removed in one shove as he worked her button and began to push her jeans and panties down her legs. He moved to kick off his shoes and remove the clothes tangled at his feet. He laid her back for a moment and looked down at her body.

"You're so much more beautiful then I remembered," he breathed into her ear as he set about kissing his way down her body.

He worshiped her with his hands and she felt tears spring to her eyes as he fluttered soft kisses of apology around her stitched wound. Her hands wrapped under his jaw and brought his face up to meet her eyes. "Don't be sorry," she whispered. "Just be here for me now."

Brennan's lips quirked into a small smile and he put his mouth back to its task. He kissed his way down her legs as he finished pushing her clothes off. He climbed up to lay beside her on his side as he stared at her face for a moment.

The kiss that came was so tender and filled with emotion that Shalimar felt as if she was sharing a piece of Brennan's soul. She wondered if it was the same for him. He rolled onto his back and moved her to straddle him. His eyes voiced his concern of being too rough and she covered his lips with another kiss before he could speak his fears.

The soft sighs and moans interspersed with the singing of the birds as the blues in the sky changed to golds and pinks.

"I love you, Shalimar." Brennan whispered into her hair as she lay on top of him.

"I love you too, Bren," she replied and decided to hold onto him for a few more minutes before letting the cool air ground her.

Brennan kissed the top of her head and smiled. The sun was beginning to set.

"We should get dressed," he said reluctantly.

"I know," she sighed. "I just wanted to savor you for a moment."

They both redressed interspersed with touches and kisses. They shared the task of dressing and enjoyed the feel of the others hands on their flesh as the clothes were replaced.

Shalimar was hit with a wave of sadness as she looked at Brennan's eyes. There was a decision to make still and she didn't know what was going to happen. She loved him and whatever happened; it scared her that she might lose the one thing in her life that she had come to depend on.

Brennan brought his arms around her and she felt so secure wrapped in his embrace. They would have to talk soon about the decisions, but for now she was content to just be and hope that they could heal the pains in each other.

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