Cristina couldn't believe what she had just heard. This was the last thing she was expecting. She knew Meredith. She was her person. They knew exactly how each other thought. This is not how Meredith thinks. She is a surgeon. A cold, calculated, cut-throat surgeon. Not a mom. Not a nurturing, read a bed-time story, tuck a child in and give it a kiss goodnight mommy. This had to be Derek's doing. She had to get through to her.

Izzie was shocked to say the least. She knew that Derek had been pressuring her to start a family. Meredith was hell-bent on not doing it. She was focused. Sure, Derek could sometimes blur her vision, but she could still see what she wanted. Whatever her reason, Izzie was elated. She loved kids. If this was what Meredith wanted, so couldn't be happier for her.

George was surprised. He never thought Meredith would be a mom. Whenever they had a child patient, she seemed indifferent. George loved kids. He always had. He always knew he would be a dad. But Meredith, she was busy. She liked her life. He couldn't help but think that she would regret it. She was making a mistake, and she didn't even realize it.

"Oh my God! This is wonderful!" Izzie said happily, almost jumping up and down.

"I'm sorry. Did you just say you are adopting that kid?" Cristina snapped in disbelief.

"Yes, Cristina. That is what I said." Meredith retorted as she walked to the refrigerator.

"Why? Have you lost your mind? I thought you wanted to be a surgeon. You can't have a kid dragging you down." Cristina asked loudly as she sat on the stool in a slump. "What the hell have you done to my person?" She asked Derek angrily.

"I didn't do anything." He told her as he looked at the fear on Meredith's face. "This is all Meredith." He explained.

"Well, Mer, if this is what you want." George said. "I am happy for you."

"It's what I want. Well, I think it's what I want. No, it is definitely what I want." She finally decided. She grabbed a knife and began cutting vegetables.

"What are you doing?" Izzie asked as she motioned to Meredith.

"I need to learn to do these things." Meredith said as she began cutting the green pepper into un-symetrical shaped.

"Oh my God it's started. Shit, we may as well slap an apron on you and cover you in spit up!" Cristina whined. "I can not believe you, of all people are going to throw your life away!"

"Maybe you should leave that to me." Izzie said as she grabbed the knife out of Meredith's hand.

"Iz!" She replied. "I need to try this."

"Fine. I hope you guys don't care about presentation!" Izzie said to everyone. They all stayed silent, then Meredith looked up.

"No, no..it's fine!" They all responded quickly.

"I don't mess with Mer when she has knives in her hand." Derek pointed out.

"Why?" Meredith asked. "Are you afraid I'll do this?" She asked as she raised the knife up.

"No! Mer!" He shouted as he ducked.

"I'm kidding Derek." She said as she went back to chopping.

"So why are you adopting Anna?" Izzie asked.

Meredith explained the story to everyone. They all understood. They were happy. Well, everyone except Cristina. She was upset to say the least. Meredith never thought she would react this way.

"Man, that kid is going to be screwed up!" Cristina pointed out.

"Don't say that." Meredith spat. "I turned out fine."

"Sure you did." Cristina returned. "Is that why you got drunk and married a guy at eighteen then ran off with him? Or the thousands of guys you've slept with. Or what about your best friend tequila? Is that why you run to the bar when you have problems? That really sounds like a person who turned out just fine!" Meredith looked at her friend with sadness. It hurt that she said that.

"Yang!" Derek spat out angrily.

"No, it's fine. At least I know how she really feels. It's great that my so-called person doesn't even support me." Meredith returned as she handed the vegetables to Izzie. Cristina's comment had made her chop frantically, turning them into mush. She looked up at Cristina's hardened face. "I think you need to leave." Meredith said to everyone's surprise.

"Have it your way." Cristina said sharply as she stood up. "But don't whine to me when it all crumbles." Cristina said as she walked out of the house.

"I don't plan to!" Meredith yelled.

"Well, I think this occasion calls for cheesecake!" Izzie said happily trying to change the mood.

"Yeah." Meredith answered half-heartedly. She had just been burned the person she trusted the most.

The food was great. The conversation, however, was not. Everyone avoided the whole situation. Cristina had put a major damper on everything. Meredith didn't let on about how hurt she was. But she really was hurt. She knew Cristina wasn't fond of kids, but she thought she would support her if that is what she wanted. Derek and Meredith both went to bed early. All she wanted to do was crawl into his strong arms and lose herself.

---------------

The morning was not much different. The conversation was based on the weather and the hospital. Meredith couldn't wait to get there, and start work. Maybe then she wouldn't have to think about it all. Cristina didn't say anything in the locker room. They each sent each other a glare, but that was the extent. Meredith had to laugh when she got assigned to Dr. Burke. She could tell Cristina was pissed about it.

"I heard the news. I think it is great!" Preston Burke said as he began his first stitch.

"Oh, Cristina told you?" Meredith asked sheepishly. She didn't want everyone to know.

"Of course. It's all she talked about last night." Burke said with an annoyed tone. "You know Cristina. She will come around." Preston said reassuringly.

"I'm not so sure about that." Meredith retorted.

"She's just jealous." Burke said quickly as he started another stitch.

"She doesn't want kids." Meredith said with a chuckle. "What does she have to be jealous of?"

"It's not having a child that she is jealous about. She has made it quite clear that she is never having children." He said. Meredith could sense a bit of disappointment in his voce. All she could think was that he and Derek should run off together and raise a brood of children. The thought made her chuckle. Burke looked up at her.

"Sorry. It's not funny. I just--" Meredith said trying to explain.

"She is jealous of that particular child. Anna, is it?" Meredith nodded. "Cristina is tough. But she is also protective. She needs you, and a part of her feels like she is losing you." Burke explained.

"That's crazy!" Meredith said with a chuckle.

"It's true." He said as he finished his last stitch. "Thank you everyone." He said as he walked into the scrub room. "If it is any consolation, I think you and Derek will make wonderful parents. He has always wanted kids." Burke said as she scrubbed his hands.

"Dr. Burke--" She started with a nervous tone.

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I don't discuss pillow talk with my colleagues. I hope you two do get the child." He said as he walked out. "Good luck, Grey." He stuck his head back in.

"Thanks." She muttered.

She looked all over for Derek. His surgery was already over. She needed to talk to him. She needed to make sure that they were both okay. She knew what she wanted, but she didn't want to back him in a corner. She kept having pings of doubt. In her heart, however, she knew what she truly wanted. She wanted to save this little girl, and essentially save herself. Meredith walked by Derek's office. She was shocked to see him in there. She knocked lightly. He looked through the glass and smiled.

"Hey." She said as she walked in and shut the door. She sat down in one of the large chairs in front of his desk.

"This paperwork is shit." He said as he looked up from the papers. "There isn't anything they don't want to know! My whole life's history will be in this thing."

"I know..." She muttered distractedly.

"Are you okay?" He cocked his head as he asked her. She looked up at him.

"Don't do it." She said quickly.

"What?" He asked with confusion.

"Don't fill it out. I know your heart isn't in it. I can accept that." She said sadly with tear rimmed eyes. "I know you want your own kids."

"Hey..." He said as he walked around the desk and knelt down in front of her. "Meredith. I never do anything I don't want to. I want what you want. We are doing this. It is important to you, so it is important to me. Don't ever question it." He said as he held her hand. "Don't second guess yourself."

"I just don't want to screw up." She mumbled through quivering lips.

"You will screw up. It's called being a parent. You will make mistakes. But we will make them together." Derek explained as he rubbed her knee.

"It may not even happen." She said with a sense of disappointment.

"What scares you the most? That you may screw up, or that you may not have the chance to?" He asked. She threw her head back against the back of the chair and sighed.

"I'm okay." She said as she looked down at him. "I love you." She leaned down and kissed him.

"While I'm down here...Will you marry me?" He asked with a grin.

"No." She said, shaking her head and laughing.

"It was worth the try." He said with a shrug.

"I have to go. Have fun with your paperwork." She said with a smile, as stood and opened the door.

"Oh yes." He returned with a chuckle.

-----------------

Meredith was starving. She had picked at her dinner last night. And she had picked at her breakfast this morning. She was once again in avoiding mode. She did not want to go down to the cafeteria. She wasn't afraid to fight with Cristina. But she was afraid that Cristina would say something else. She didn't want to be hurt. She didn't want her friendship to end, and at the moment, Cristina was hell-bent on trying to do that.

Meredith grabbed something out of the vending machine and headed to an empty patient room. She wasn't even going to go to her favorite hiding spot, which wasn't even a hiding spot anymore. She wasn't hiding from Cristina. It was Izzie, who was going to try and make it all better, who she was hiding from. She went to open the door, and she felt a strong pair of arms grab her. She knew exactly who's they were.

"Dr. Hudson, I told you...not in public." She said softly. She turned around and looked at his shocked face and began laughing.

"Funny." He said sarcastically. "Whatcha doing?" He asked suspiciously.

"Honestly, or a lie?" She asked him with a faint smile.

"Lie, of course." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, I was just meeting Dr. Hudson. We were going to have a secret rendezvous." She laughed.

"No, I think I'd like honestly better." He said as he gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Hiding. My basement spot is too well known." She explained.

"Come eat in my office." He said as he wrapped his arm around her and led the way.

"Fine." She moaned. "No one will come and look for me in there." She pointed out.

"That isn't your lunch, is it?" He asked as he looked down at the bottle of water and candybar in her hand.

"Yeah. I didn't want to take a chance in the cafeteria." She explained.

"You need to quit avoiding. I didn't think you were such a chicken." He laughed.

"I'm not!" She said boldly.

"You are too." He argued as he unlocked his office and turned the lights on.

"I just--" She started as she sat down. She let out a big sigh. "I don't want her to say anything that will make me hate her anymore than I do at the moment."

"Mer, this is Cristina Yang. She is a gigantic pain in the ass, who's ego is bigger than any surgeon in this hospital. But, she is your friend. I think you are the only person in the world who can say that... She will come around. You just have to excuse her because she is the pain in the ass with a gigantic ego." He pointed out.

"You're right." She said with a sigh. "You are always right."

"I know. But today I love the avoiding because it gives me an excuse to be with you. In my office. Alone." He said with raised brows.

"To eat." She pointed out.

"Ah yes, but it won't take you that long to eat that tiny candy bar." He said with an evil chuckle.

"I guess you're right." She agreed as she looked down at it.

"I'll be right back." He said as he walked out.

"Where are you going?" She asked as she turned in her chair.

"To get you something real to eat." He said as he walked out.

Meredith shifted her weight in the uncomfortable chair. She looked over at Derek's plush leather chair behind his desk. She smiled and walked over. She sat down, her body disappearing in it. It was much better than the horrid chairs he had in front of the desk. He called them his sweating chairs. That was how he could get people out of his office quickly. They couldn't stand to sit in the things. She took a bite of her candy bar and and leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes. She glanced up and looked around his office. A picture on the large desk caught her eye. She had never noticed it before. It was a candid shot of her. She had to smile.

She looked down at the drawers and got a little nosy. She pulled the middle one open. It was full of the usual stuff, pens, paperclips, things like that. Then she moved to the side drawer. She was shocked when she opened it. Her heart started beating rapidly.

There were parenting magazines, and a book of baby names. It made her heart jump into her throat. She grabbed it out and flipped through it. He had stars by some of the names. It instantly made her nauseous. She felt a rush of guilt wash over her. She shoved the book back in the drawer and ran back over to her other chair. She wished she had never done that. She wished she had never seen the future he had been planning.

"Hey." He said as he walked it. She nearly jumped out of her chair.

"Oh, hey." She said nervously.

"I got you smoked turkey." He said as he handed her a sandwich.

"Thank you." She said as she grabbed the wax paper covered sandwich. He had went to the deli across the street.

"What's wrong?" He asked with concern.

"Noth--nothing why?" She stammered as she unwrapped the sandwich.

"You seem completely unnerved." He said as he looked at her face.

"No. I'm okay." She said, trying to respond calmly. "Just weak. I needed to eat. You were right." She said with a faint smile as she bit into her sandwich.

"I got the roast beef." He responded. "Not bad. I haven't had it in a very long time." He said, trying to make conversation.

"Why?" She asked but then realized. "Holly..." She muttered. He didn't answer.

"Are you sure you are okay? You look pale." He said as he stared at her face.

"Yeah. I'm okay." She returned once again.

"You know you can tell me anything..." He said. Now she was getting annoyed.

"Derek, just eat your damn sandwich!" She responded, and she grabbed his paperwork. "What about the divorces? Do you think that will be a problem? Damn Ian. If he had signed the papers sooner. Now I am going to look like some cheap whore who keeps marrying-- Not marrying men, but---" She rambled on, Derek cut her off.

"First of all you aren't a cheap whore! And secondly you are marrying a man." He said and received a sharp look from her. "According to them." He clarified. "Don't worry about it!" He reassured her.

"Okay..." She replied letting out a deep breath.

The book loomed in her head. The names. Jackson, Taylor, Delilah, Elizabeth. She couldn't take it. She was holding him back. She couldn't take the guilt. It was bubbling up inside of her. She was a pressure cooker. Her top was going to fly off. She couldn't do it.

"Derek..." She said out of breath. She had evidently forgotten to breath.

"What is it Mer?" He asked with worry as she panted. Right then her pager blared.

"I have to go..." She said with a sigh.

"What were you going to say?" He asked.

"I have to go. See you tonight." She said as she placed her sandwich on the desk and ran out of the room. Derek sighed. He knew something was bothering her. He looked down at her sandwich, she had taken one bit. He was worried. Something was on her mind. She had a way of doing this. She made him worry. She sucked the life right out of him, and she didn't even realize it.

So Derek had plans (that's too Finn-esc.) Meredith keeps Godzilla-ing his plans. What will she do? Will she sacrifice what she wants for him? Or will she make him sacrifice for her? What do you guys think about this 'Anna plot line'?...Hint read the latest reviews...(Which quite honestly has put a damper on my writing for the day...) Note to self-Get tougher skin!