Author person: ya, I skipped a lot of weeks but that gave me time to think of a lot of ideas. But I kinda just woke up, and it's...10:30 pm some time around that...so this might suck more than I'd think..anyone wanna do the disclaimer..?
*crikets chirp*
Author person: Dammit, i told them to get rid of those crickets... *walks off muttering something about lazy ninjas*
*walks back*
Author person: I don't own Naruto..or any creative ways to say a disclaimer
It was just an average day with Naruto and friends..well kinda Sakura was gone because she bitch- slapped Tsunade because Tsunade told her The Spice Girls weren't good music and was exiled because they really aren't and she bitch slapped her (an: I have no idea who TSG are actually, I heard them once and I'm scarred, btw I was about 8 I think.) Kakashi started a world exposition on finding more porn, because Jiraiya had come to a stop on his series after he found a girl (he doesn't know yet 'she' is a guy... *laughs diabolically*) Sasuke went to Orochimaru..I finally decided to bring that into the story..Erm, okay and Sai and Yamato decided to follow after Kakashi because Naruto was getting clingy..
Okay anyways it was an average day with Naruto, Neji, Kiba, and Lee at Team 7's old training ground. Kinda average. More or Less. Definetely not normal.
Somewhere in the forest
Two figures were running soundlessly through the forest nearby..almost soundlessly if it weren't for the branches breaking underneath Fatty Mc Fatty's weight (cough cough Kisame cough.)
They finally could see all the 15 year old shinobi's in sight and silently waited..evilly
Back to Naruto and..friends
Neji looked up at the sky and the sun coming out of the clouds and ran off.
"Geez, what's his problem?" Naruto asked loudly, more like screeching...like a banshee that had just lost his favorite pair of shoes or whatever banshee's like..Kisame and Itachi covered their ears from the distance they were at.
"Wts was that?" Gaara asked himself looking up from his paperwork in Suna. Seeing no one would answer, he growled and sent sand to beat up Kankuro to vent out his anger.
"Neji's afraid of his shadow..but in a YOUTHFUL way" Lee informed Naruto pushing up invisable glasses for some reason. Seeming to ignore his pounding ears.
"What?!" Kiba yelled as if he hadn't heard him.
"Great...now we have to bring him to the hospital, he's deaf again.." Naruto concluded whispering as if he couldn't control the volume of his voice.
"But Naruto, the YOUTHFUL hospital has been closed down since Tsunade got bitch- slapped? Since until she healed naturally no one can get healed at all? I think it is very UNYOUTHFUL." Lee informed him raising his voice everytime he mentioned youth, Naruto sighed wondering if he would still say 'youthful' when he turned like 70 years old..
"WHAT?!" Kiba seemed to get frustrated first Akamaru running off with a cat he BARELY knew, then this stupid thing where Lee and Naruto were just mouthing words to annoy him.
"Ignore him, back to training." Naruto instructed in a normal tone.
Lee nodded then proceeded to run around a rock for agility or whatever Naruto thought, then snickered when Lee ran straight into the rock, knocking him unconscious.
"Hm maybe I could use Lee as a punching bag...it worked last time.." Naruto said to himself, deep in thought.
Suddenly, the two akatsuki members stepped out from behind the giant cardboard box where they had been hiding which was placed awkwardly right behind the boulder that Lee had been knocked out on. They hadn't noticed because Itachi and Kisame were just that cool.
"Well well well, if it isn't the Kyuu-" Kisame started
"OMFG WTH IT'S AKATSUKI!!!!!!!!" Naruto screamed in his loudest voice possible, luckily Kisame and Itachi had put on super sound proof head phone thingy's just in time.
Gaara rubbed his temples "Okay I am definetely hearing things.." He sighed as he applied pernament pink sparkly paint to Kankuro's face while he was restrained by sand.
This had some effects on the ninja world:Kiba was now incurably deaf, Lee was now more unconcious, villager's planned to destroy his favorite ramen stand as punishment, the leader of akatsuki twitched noticably, Tsunade's bitch- slap mark got redder, and Sasuke thought he vaguely heard an annoying sound but then shrugged and told himself Orochimaru's speech impediment was getting to him (I used to have a speech impediment).
Kiba sniffed the air, spelling a little too much of a fish smell and passed out from it.
Kisame scoffed trying to get Naruto's attention as he franitcally switched between pointing to him and his partner.
"Well well well, if it isn't th-"
"Enough Kisame we haven't much time, since you had to make friends with that foolish little salmon in the stream." Itachi stated bluntly to his partner, not even paying him any attention.
"Okay let's just skip right to the fight." Kisame smirked at Naruto who was trying to get rid of finger cramps from pointing too much.
Kisame then did that one thing those Sailor Moon girls do or whatever, but he didn't crossdress or get rid of his clothes, kinda like a pg version. But it still had the sparkly backround. (Idk haven't watched that show in god knows how many years)
"No Kisame not th-....ugh" Itachi exclaimed waving his arms in anger, looking very un- Itachi- ish.
Kisame finished turning into whatever.
"DESTINY!!" They all heard from someplace, Itachi chose to ignore it, Naruto knew it was Neji.
Naruto gasped, "What...the..fuck.." He stared blankly at Kisame. He had just transformed into a fish..not a humanish fish like Kisame kinda was..one of those fish you see at a pet store..but uglier than the rest of the fish so no one buys it.
"Dumb- ass I told you before never to do this again." Itachi kicked him slightly and Kisame just glared at Itachi while doing something a fish typically does out of water (flop around, die slowly, blah blah blah.)
"What? I thought he was a shark!???" Naruto screamed again, as Itachi regretably took a fish bowl out of his cloak and placed the ugly fish in it.
"Duh, sharks don't have hair.." Itachi told him glaring at him, shaking the bowl slightly showing his anger towards Kisame.
"Well..." Naruto started, kicking his feet at the ground never having to be in such a situation.
"Hn?"
"Are we gonna fight..or what?" He questioned, while Itachi was glaring at Kisame and mumbling threats to him.
"No." Itachi spoke. And then left, leaving Kisame behind.
Naruto had the suspicion that Itachi left just to make Kisame suffer.
"What am I gonna do with you?" Naruto asked himself, looking down at the fish bowl saying this as if a mother was remarking to herself about a child that didn't fit in at school. Kisame looked at him like 'wtf.'
Naruto stared at the fish until it floated to the top, Kisame had a heart attack from Itachi leaving him, or drowned to death...Naruto thought it was the later.
Naruto walked with the fishbowl until he reached a stream he thought was clean (actually where Konoha dumps all its sewage) Naruto threw the fishbowl in as if he didn't care and walked off.
Little did he know, Kisame was alive (mind you, I need him for the rest of the stories) and turned back to himself after about 5 hours..suprisingly he smelled worse than normal.
Kisame grumbled, and started walking back to Akatsuki base.
"Dammit Itachi, wait until you ask me to do your laundry again."
Author person: I think I was a little too sadistic on this one..Kisame turning into a particularly ugly fish, Kiba deaf, Lee passed out, Kankuro with pink face paint, Tsunade getting bitch- slapped, Sakura exiled, no more porn for Kakashi, Jiraiya dating a guy, no laundry done for Itachi (oh noes), Akamaru running off with a cat..yea but anyways I think I wasn't descriptive enough Kisame was probably a bug- eyed fish with...ah forget it can't think of anything..just think of an ugly fish..I for one, have a grudge against fishes.
Sakura: How come I have to like spice girls?! *punched ground*
Author person: *watches computer fall into giant hole in ground* Ah!! Sakura why?! How am I gonna upload this chapter?! How am I gonna write the rest of this senten