A/N: I'm introducing a gay character, actually a gay relationship in this chapter. Have a problem with it? Sorry. Nan de sute-What did you say?, Sa-It's alright, Bakana-absurd

Disclaimer: Still not Kishimoto

Chapter 3

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Temari felt nauseous as she sat in the palace library with her brothers watching a film depicting natural childbirth.

"I know this isn't the best time to bring it up," Kankurou winced as the women on screen screamed in pain. "But are we sure we wouldn't rather get a puppy?"

Gaara rolled his eyes, his already pale complexionhad taken on a decidedly greenish tint.

"Let's take a break,ne?" Ito Kashike suggested as she wiped sweat from her brow and pushed the pause button. The screen froze on a scene of the baby's head crowning, and all three Sabaku siblings tore off for the bathrooms.

When they were seated in the library once more, the T.V. screen blessedly blank, Gaara leaned forward folding his hands together.

"Onee-chan, I hate to bring this up, but since you're experienced in diplomacy and the taboos of other nations, " his light green eyes were pleading.

"I need a husband," Temari finished for him. This thought had been plaguing her as well. She knew that Ame no Kuni's Daimyo would cease all trade immediately if he thought that the sister of Kaze no Kuni's Kazekage was a loose woman.

"Nan de sute? Screw whoever has a problem with it," Kankurou exclaimed pounding his fist on the arm of his chair. "This is our baby, it has nothing to do with anyone else!"

"Sa Kanky," Temari said softly, touched by her brother's loyalty to her unborn child. "We can't afford to offend Kaze no Kuni's only source of water during drought season."

The Puppet-Nin leaned back in his chair.

"Where are we going to find someone to marry you on such short notice?" He asked. "Ya know, a puppy wouldn't be this troublesome," he sighed. "Ite!"

"I'll marry Baki," Temari stated matter-of-factly smacking Kankurou in the back of his head, causing him to hit the floor.

Her brother stared at her from where he lay spread eagle.

"Are you baka?" He asked wide-eyed. "Baki's twice your age, not to mention you're not his type. Gaara," he turned to his still seated brother. "C'mon tell her this is bakana!"

To Kankurou's horror, instead of revulsion , Gaara's face wore a shrewd, calculating expression.

"Actually," the redhead smiled, "it's brilliant. I don't like the way Baki-sensei's been treated lately. If it appears he's fathered a child with Temari it may squash some of the more twisted rumors."

"But what about Hosyu-san? Kankurou asked climbing back into his chair. "How's he going to feel about all this?"

"It'll be in name only, and this way I don't have to move out of the palace." Temari explained as if talking to a small child. "It's not going to affect Hosyu-san and Baki-sensei's relationship in the least."

"So then," Kankuro rubbed his hands together. "All we have to do now then is tell the groom ne? When do we break the news to Baki-sensei?"

"Right now," Gaara replied turning to his assistant. "Kashike-san, will you go find Baki-sensei and Hosyu-san?" He turned to his siblings, "better we tell them at the same time so everyone's on the same page."

o-o-o

"Okaasan, I just don't think I can do this," Shikamaru sighed watching his mother make tea.

He hated to sound like he was whining, but couldn't seem to keep the desperation out of his voice. It was the beginning of March and his father's plans were moving full steam ahead. He and Ino were being forced to spend two hours together every evening as part of their fathers' grand scheme to cultivate a romance out of thin air. He smirked when he thought of how the jounin would react if they knew that during those two hours Shikamaru either slept or bemoaned the loss of Temari, while Ino spent much of the time writing to Chouji or scanning the newspaper for news about the monastery he was in.

"Oh bishoujo," Yoshino's eyes filled with tears. "I told your father what a horrible idea this was, how it would make you miserable and cause a war with Sunagakure; but does he listen to me?" She shook her head and turned back to the teapot that was beginning to whistle.

"Okaasan?" Shikamaru furrowed his brow in curiosity, "how would this cause a war with Sunagakure?"

"You dumped the Kazekage's sister, and it appears like you were two-timing her all along." Yoshino shrugged, "how else will Gaara-sama save face?"

o-o-o

"And hee-hee-whoo, hee-hee-whoo…" Kashike chanted as Temari lay in front of her, face scrunched in concentration mimicking her newly appointed lamaze instructor.

Across the room, Baki and his partner Sato Hosyu, the palace's head cook, were seated with Gaara and Kankurou; a pile of cloth diapers and safety pins in front of each, as well as a life-size baby doll. When approached with Temari's request, the couple had responded with enthusiasm.

"Our goal here is the very first happy Sabaku childhood," Hosyu reminded the assembled group as he expertly diapered his doll. Baki agreed holding his doll up for approval and watching the diaper slide off.

"We're gonna try anyways," Kankuro quipped as he stuck his doll with a pin.