The hospital had been killing Derek lately. It seemed like every time he tried to come home, another patient was needing something. The pit seemed to have a non-stop supply of neuro cases. He was doing craniotomies so much, he thought he could sleep during them. Meredith wasn't too upset, she knew it was the job. She herself was missing the hospital. She loved being home with Anna, but she still longed for the operating room. She had gotten a lot done. They had gotten Anna completely settled in. Anna was going to start her first day of school on Monday, and they had done a lot of studying. She hadn't been to school since long before her treatment. Meredith was hoping she would be okay.
Meredith woke up to an empty bed. She pulled Derek's pillow over to her. It was cold, he had been gone awhile. She brought it up to her face and breathed in deeply. That was all she had of him at the moment, and it wasn't enough. They were lucky if they stole a kiss goodnight from each other. Meredith rolled over and looked at the alarm clock. No wonder his pillow was cold, it was already nine o'clock. She was finding herself already falling out of her normal schedule.
"Merediff..." She heard Anna say at her door. She thought it was cute how she said her name.
"Yes?" Meredith answered.
"How come your still sleepin'?" Anna asked as she jumped in the bed with her.
"I guess I'm still tired." Meredith answered. "How long have you been up?"
"Awhile. I played with Lotti and Sandy, but I got bored." She explained as she looked up at Meredith.
"Well, Derek isn't here to make pancakes, so how about some cereal?" Meredith asked as she climbed out of bed.
"I like cereal!" Anna said as she jumped out of the bed and bounded down the stairs. Meredith slowly walked down the stairs, only to find Izzie sitting in the kitchen.
"You're off today?" Meredith asked.
"Uh huh." Izzie answered.
"Oh thank God!" Meredith said as she grabbed a bowl out of the china cabinet and pulled a spoon out of the drawer.
"Geez, Mer!" Izzie said nodding to Anna. "Tired already?"
"No. I have an appointment today. One that Anna shouldn't attend." Meredith said as she pulled the box of muesli off the the shelf.
"Oh. So you want me to babysit." Izzie answered sarcastically, as if she were disappointed.
"Not if you don't want to." Meredith said as she poured the cereal in the bowl.
"I'd love to!" Izzie said exuberantly.
"Anna? How would you like that?" Meredith asked. Anna looked at her with a frown.
"It will be fun. We can go to the park..." Izzie said, trying to tempt the small child.
"Okay..." She finally answered.
"Here you go. Eat up!" Meredith said as she handed her the bowl of muesli. She dragged her spoon around the bottom. Finally she took a bite of it and stuck her tongue out.
"Yuck!" She said as she pushed the bowl away.
"Muesli is good." Izzie said, trying to keep a straight face.
"Derek eats it." Meredith sang out.
"He does?" Anna asked. Meredith nodded yes. She pulled the bowl up to her and took another bite. "I guess it's okay." She said as she began eating.
"So what time is your appointment?" Izzie asked as she looked up at Meredith.
"Eleven." Meredith answered with a huff.
"Well, you better take a shower. Besides, Anna and I are going to have some girl talk." Izzie said with a giggle.
"What's girl talk?" Meredith heard Anna say as she walked up the stairs.
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Meredith's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She couldn't believe she was taking this step. She was willing to change her life's path. She was willing to change everything. What's more is she was wanting to. Her mind was not on her task at hand. She quickly slammed the brakes, almost smacking into the car in front of her. She took a deep breath and told herself to pay attention.
She pulled up to the small medical building. It was small, but it held some of the best doctors in the area. She sat in Derek's Land Rover, laid back her head and sighed. She looked at the vehicle's clock. She had to go in. She wanted to go in. But at the same time, she felt a resistance pushing her back. Derek popped in her head, and that was all she needed. She quickly walked into the building purposefully. She was doing this, ready or not.
"Dr. Grey, if you would just look over this and make any changes." The receptionist said as she handed her the clipboard.
Meredith nodded and took a seat in one of the pale green chairs. She looked around the office. It was modern. It was bright and cheery. She glanced at the clipboard, everything looked good. She walked it back up to the desk and returned to her seat. She glanced over at a mother in the corner. She was pregnant and had three kids running around her. Meredith couldn't believe it. All of that chaos, and she seemed perfectly content.
"Meredith." She heard the nurse say as she opened the door. She quickly rose from her chair and crossed the room. She followed the nurse into an exam room.
"So you are here to get your IUD removed today?" The nurse asked as she glanced up at her. Meredith nodded. "Have you been feeling okay?"
"I've been fine." Meredith said softly as she glanced around the room. The artwork was mostly of nature. It was very soothing.
"Please put this gown on." She said she she handed her the paper-thin exam gown. "Dr. Daniels will be in in a few minutes." She said as she walked out.
Meredith hastily stripped her clothing off. She folded everything up and piled it on a chair in the corner. She sat on the exam table. She hated being on the receiving end of anything medical. She looked at the little metal sink in the corner. The box of exam gloves on the counter top. There was a poster on the door, explaining how to improve your chances of getting pregnant. Five minutes went by, then ten, then thirty. She rolled her eyes and finally laid back on the table and closed her eyes. She sat up when she heard the door open.
"Meredith. How are you?" The middle-aged man with grey peppered hair asked as he walked in.
"Good." She answered quietly.
"Well, this is a shock." He said as he looked over her chart. "You're here to get you IUD removed?" He asked. She nodded her head. "Is everything okay? Has it been causing you any pain?" He asked with concern.
"No. It has been fine." She answered.
"During you last visit you were adamant about keeping it. In fact, I was waiting for you to say you wanted a total hysterectomy. Do you mind if I ask what the change is?" He asked as he looked at her in surprise.
"Well, I have met a man. The love of my life..." She smiled as she trailed off, thinking about him.
"So you want to get pregnant?" He asked her.
"Eventually, yes. I think so." She said quickly.
"Well, you have the copper IUD, so technically you will be able to get pregnant immediately after removal. But that isn't always the case. I would honestly say it may take a while. So, if you don't want to get pregnant right away, I advise you to use some sort of contraceptive." He explained, she nodded. "Well, if this is what you want, let's get started." He said as he motioned for a nurse to come.
She laid her head back on the table and closed her eyes. This was not how she wanted to spend her day. This was not her idea of fun. She heard him explain what he was going to do.
"Some women experience some pain." He said. "Did you have any pain upon insertion?" He asked.
"Yes." She said quickly, remembering the pain quite well.
"So how has work been?" He asked casually.
"Fine." Are you freaking kidding me? You have your hands up my vagina and you want to have small talk.
"Anything interesting?" He asked.
"Um, not really." She said, trying to make him uninterested.
"Okay." He said. She felt him start pulling.
"Holy shit!" She shouted, as she felt the pain. She laid her head back and clenched her teeth.
"It can be more painful for woman you haven't given birth." He explained. He continued on for a few minutes. "Okay, we've got it." He said. "You may experience some pain, and bleeding, but everything looks okay." He said with a smile.
"Okay." She muttered out.
"You can get dressed." He said as he stood up and left the room. She changed and sat there. He finally came back in.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"I'm in a little pain, but I'm okay." She said, silently cursing him.
"Well, let me know if you have any problems." He said as he nodded and walked out.
Meredith walked out to the car and sat in the driver's seat. At this moment, she hated Derek. She was doing it for him. Maybe a little for herself, too. But it was mainly for him, and now she hurt. She had just given birth to an IUD, and after that, she wasn't looking forward to pushing a seven pound baby out any time soon.
She grabbed out her organizer and decided to write a note. She scratched her pen across it, and it just indented the paper. She threw her pen down and opened Derek's center consul. She rummaged around inside, looking for a pen. Her face hardened when she came across a condom. She had been in that compartment many times, and she was sure that it was not there before. It bothered her. It shouldn't have. He had a life before her. They had never used one. They should have, and she knew she was taking a big risk the first time. But after that, they knew they were both disease free and never had because of the IUD. Something about that tiny package unnerved her. She knew it hadn't been there. She threw the pen back in and turned the key, starting the car. She had thoughts in the back on her mind, bust she knew she was being stupid, so she quickly tried to push them out.
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Derek was hoping her would get home at a decent hour tonight. Maybe then, he and Meredith would have a real conversation. A little sex would hurt either, he thought to himself. He was standing at the nurses station completely engrossed in his charts. His mind was somewhere else. His mind was at home with Meredith. He didn't even hear the tiny feet running toward him.
"Mr. Derek!" Anna shouted as she quickly ran up to him.
"Anna! We don't run in a hospital." Izzie shouted. Anna stopped in her tracks and turned to Izzie.
"They are!" She said as she pointed to the code team running by.
"Because they are trying to save someone's life." Izzie scolded as she walked towards her.
"Mr. Derek." Anna said as she walked up to Derek.
"What are you doing here?" He asked as he bent down to her level.
"Izzie brought me." She said quickly.
"I had to get something out of my locker." Izzie explained as she moved closer.
"Oh. Is Meredith okay?" He asked as he looked up at her with a concerned face.
"Yeah, she's fine. She had some kind of appointment. So I watched Anna." Izzie said cheerfully.
"An we had fun. We went to the park and lunch. Then we came here. Izzie says we're going to get some ice cream too!" She said happily
"That sounds like fun." He said with a smile.
"Did you work on any brains today?" She asked.
"Lost of them." He said with a bit of exhaustion in his voice.
"Merediff said you were saving lives and maybe you would be home tonight. Are you going to be home tonight? Cause I want you to read me a story. An I think Merediff misses you. She seemed sad this morning." Anna rambled to him.
"I am going to try to be home tonight." He said, knowing that he couldn't make any promises.
"Good, cause I miss you too." She said sweetly.
"Well, Anna, I think Derek needs to get back to work. We need to go." Izzie told her.
"Okay." She moaned. "Goodbye Mr. Derek." She said as she gave him a hug. He smelled her head, and her hair smelled just like Meredith's, making him smile.
Derek watched as Izzie and Anna walked off. He knew he had to get home tonight. He needed to spend some quality time with his family.
"Interesting..." Holly said as she appeared from behind the desk where she was eavesdropping.
"What's that?" Derek asked, not taking the bait.
"I thought I had heard something about this...but now it had been confirmed..." Holly said matter-of-factly.
"What would that be?" Derek asked as she looked at a chart.
"I just can't believe they would kid that kid to her. You, I can understand. Not her. How funny. She will adopt some damaged kid, but I bet she won't have kids will she?" Holly sang.
"Meredith and I are completely happy." Derek said as he walked away.
"Not for long..." She seethed when he was out of earshot.
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Meredith laid down in her bed. She was sore and tired. She also couldn't keep her mind from wandering. She was praying that she did the right thing. It wasn't permanent. She could do something about it. There were options. She had finally opened up, and taken a step. She just hoped Derek was on the same page. It was hard to know, considering she never told him what age she was on.
Meredith heard the front door open and the loud chattering of a very wired Anna. She knew Izzie well enough to know that there had to be a great deal of sugar involved in whatever they did. She looked over at the clock. It was already seven. They had spent the whole day doing whatever Izzie does. She dragged herself out of bed and walked down the stairs. Anna immediately filled her ear with the days events. Izzie looked over at Meredith's green face.
"Are you feeling okay?" Izzie asked as she walked over.
"I'm okay." She moaned, not convincing her.
"Anna, I think you need to take a bath?" She asked, Meredith nodded.
"Yay! I'm gonna get my toys." She said as she ran up the stairs.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Izzie asked.
"I am just really tired." She said as she yawned.
"You know what? You go upstairs. Anna and I are having a good time. We went to dinner. I'll give her a bath, and put her to bed." Izzie said helpfully.
"Izzie, you don't have to." Meredith said.
"No, I want to. Go!" She said as she led her along.
"Thanks." Meredith said. She walked upstairs and started her own bath.
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Meredith laid there with her eyes closed. She heard the front door open. She knew it was either George or Derek, and her money was on George. She heard her door open. She heard his heavy footsteps cross the room. She heard his drawer open, and then he shut the bathroom door. She should have gotten up. She should have said something. She wasn't in the mood. She was sore, and crampy, and she knew she would have snapped at him. She laid there listening for him to come out. He crossed the room swiftly and laid on the bed next to her. She felt his lips press against hers.
"Goodnight." He whispered with disappointment. He had gotten home early. It was nine o'clock. They never went to bed this early. But with the work he had been doing lately, he knew he could easily fall asleep.
"Goodnight." Meredith muttered back.
"Ah, you're awake." He said with a smile as he leaned over and covered her mouth with his. His tongue entered her mouth, pressing against hers. He travelled down to her neck. His lips kissing right in the crook. He pulled up her shirt and started kissing her abdomen. She felt his fingers tugging nimbly on her shorts. He started to slide time down.
"If you stick anything inside of me, I will KILL you." She growled. His head shot up in shock. He looked into her eyes and knew she was serious.
"Mer, what's wrong?" He asked as he moved up to her. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, I am not mad at you." She said loudly. She looked angry. Really it wasn't anger, he wasn't sure what it was. "Mer--"
"I am fine, Derek." She said as she rolled over.
"How would you like some ice cream?" He asked as it snapped in his head. He knew what was wrong. It was that time, and he wasn't messing with that.
"That would be good." She said as she turned over and her face softened. "I'm sorry, Derek. I'm just--"
"No need to explain." He said as he jogged off to get her ice cream. He was just glad he realized what was going on, otherwise, he would have thought something major had happened.
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I posted the wrong chapter earlier...sorry!