Hey, hope this chapter is decent. as always please excuse grammar or spelling.
I was still distant from my family. It was just not to the severity that it was before. I would go hunting on sunny days with my family and on stormy days I would play baseball with them.
When we were home, though, I would stay in my room and play piano. It was the one time that I could separate myself from everything. When I played piano, I disappeared and the problems I had melted away. All was right in the world for the little time I played.
Whenever I saw Esme, guilt would fill my being. She felt responsible for my change. She felt like a failure as a mom and that just broke my heart. She knew I was hiding something. The fact that there was something I hid from her hurt her.
Things with school got a lot better. I learned to block the thought around me and people stopped caring about our family. We became old news.
The girls learned to avoid me after I rejected enough of them. It took a while and some of the girls were very persistent. Finally they stopped trying.
We fell into a pattern and did the same thing every day. Go to school, stay way from everyone else, and come home. I would go straight to my room and my family would do whatever they did.
I could hear them laughing from my room. I wanted to join but I felt like there was a gap that couldn't be crossed, between us. I had a tendency to break the happy atmosphere. When I was with my family, I felt alone .I played piano to drown their voice out.
So the year continued. A year that I didn't really live. My existence was not a life. It was a constant search for a temporary escape from feeling. I lived, seeking ways to remove my self from my emotions. It was beyond pitiful.
What was worse was as much as I tried to keep this to myself, it still affected my family. I would come home to see Esme begging God to help me. My family tried their hardest to help me but they had no idea what to do. Poor Alice was so heart broken. She would look at me with pain filled eyes. Jasper had the worst end of the deal. As much as I concealed my emotions he could feel a lot of what I felt.
I felt more like a monster. Everyone I cared for , I hurt. I was planning on leaving. I couldn't stand causing my family such pain. I sat in my meadow planning where I would go when, surprise, Alice came and sat by me.
"Alice," I said.
"Why are you leaving?"
"I'm causing everyone pain. If i leave I won't hurt you all anymore."
"Damn it, Edward! You are the most stupid, idiotic, vampire I have ever met!"
I was shocked. Alice never swore.
"You are so misguided. Your intentions are good but your actions end up causing even more pain. If you left, do you know what that would do to us? Esme wouldn't be able to survive. Look what losing her first son did to her. Not only her but Carlisle would be heart broken. We would all miss you. We love you so much."
"I don't deserve your love."
"Again, you are the most stupid, idiotic vampire I have ever met. You do deserve our love. Give it time Edward. I have a feeling things are going to change."
"Why? Do you see anything?" I asked.
"Nope. I just feel. Please stay?"
"Fine Alice"
We stood up and ran home. When I got in side I saw my family all in the living room. They TV was on and a movie was about to start.
Alice walked straight to Jasper and crawled onto his lap. He smiled and kissed her head. He wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. They started the movie.
I walked in and sat at the foot of the couch. Everyone was shocked. Esme and Carlisle were beaming at each other. I was happy if only for a little while.
The school year finished and summer came, not that it really affected us. We would have more family hunting trips but that was about it.
I made a greater effort to join in with my family. That made them happy, and that eased my self loathing. I was never happy like I was when we watched the movie together but I wasn't as miserable.
School started again and not much really happened. For the first few months the school was the same old story.
One day the school was filled with rumors. I didn't pay attention and went through my classes like any other day.
When the lunch bell rang I walked slowly to the cafeteria. Whispers of someone returning filled the halls. I bought my food and walked to the table, where my family and I sat everyday.
Sat down and waited for my family. They came and sat around the table.
The cafeteria doors opened causing everyone in the cafeteria to stop talking. Shocked whispers flew form everyone's mouth.
"It's true!" I heard on kid say." "I thought she was gone!" His friend answered.
I looked up curious to see what everyone was talking about. As I looked up her familiar scent crashed into me like waves crashing into the shore.
It was Bella. My Bella. She walked quietly to the lunch line. Her brown hair was ragged, covering her face. She wore a baggy sweatshirt and jeans. Her shoulders were sagged as if she was trying to make the ground swallow her whole.
"So this is the girl everyone has been talking about." Rosalie sneered.
"Bella." I whispered as I watched her.
'Is this her?' Alice asked me in her thoughts.
I nodded.
'Poor girl.'
"I did this to her." I whispered so that only Alice could hear me. "This is my fault. I left her when se needed me."
She sat a table as far away from everyone else. She moved te hair from her face and I saw her eyes.
My heart shattered when I saw her eyes. I felt like I was looking into her soul. I felt her pain. I saw her broken spirit, her decimated soul.
She was skinny. I could tell she didn't eat much. Even now she barely touched her food.
I heard from a distance people stand up. I looked up and saw Jessica and Lauren walking up. They stood right in front of Bella.
"You back? Why are you here? No one wants you here. Look around Isabella." She said motioning to everyone in the cafeteria. "Your not wanted." She leaned in as if to tell Bella a secret." Your mom didn't even want you. Your own freakin mother couldn't stand you."
Bella believed every word they said. I could see she accepted t it as truth. Tears filled her chocolate eyes and she stoop up.
I jumped up and hurried to bella. She began to run blindly away from Jessica and Lauren and hit me. She tried to move away but I pulled her closer.
"Lies Bella. She is lying. She knows nothing about you. You are worth so much more that you know." I whispered.
She started crying and pushed herself away. She ran harder to somewhere people couldn't find her.
Everyone, including my family, starred at me with shock. Their thoughts were all the same. They couldn't believe what I had just done.
Anger filled me as I glared at Lauren and Jessica with contempt. My hands were shaking and I wanted nothing more than to rip out their throats.
"You disgust me" I spat at them. Their jaws literally dropped in shock.
I walked out of the cafeteria, ignoring the questions of my family. I heard one of my siblings get up to see what was up with me, but they were stopped by Alice.
"Leave him be." I heard her say as the doors shut behind me.