"What do you think she wants to talk about?" George asked as he watched the movie.
"Who knows...I still can't believe she got married and didn't tell us." Izzie said with disappointment.
"I know. She's different now." George said with annoyance.
"It's McDreamy. I think Cristina is right for once. He's like a toxin." Izzie returned.
"No he's not. She's just happy, I guess. That's good. We should be happy for her." George said, trying to convince her. "Shhh, she's here." George said as he heard the door open.
"Hey guys." Meredith said as she plopped down on the sofa. "What are we watching?"
"Face transplant." Izzie told her as she handed her the popcorn. Meredith happily grabbed the bowl and began munching.
"Oh cool." Meredith said as she stared at the t.v. intently. She didn't even notice that Izzie and George had stopped watching and were now watching her. "What?" She asked as she looked over at them.
"Uh, you wanted to talk to us about something." George reminded her.
"Oh yeah..." Meredith said as she turned and looked at them. "The house should be done soon."
"What house?" George asked.
"Derek's...I mean, ours, on the property." Meredith explained as she looked back and forth between them.
"Oh." Izzie said with disappointment. "Oh!" She said, thinking about it. "So you're kicking us out..."
"Oh crap..." George said, with a new found realization. Meredith looked at the sadness in their faces.
"No! God no, guys. You're staying. That's what I wanted to ask you. I need someone to stay here, take care of the house. So will you?" Meredith asked. She watched their faces light up.
"Seriously?" Izzie asked with shock.
"Well, yeah. You guys didn't really think I was going to kick you out, did you?" She said with a laugh.
"I did." George admitted with a shrug.
"If you guys want someone else to move in with you, they can. But I want to know who it is first. And I want one room left empty." Meredith explained.
"Why? I mean, it's your house. Just...why?" Izzie asked.
"You never...just leave one bedroom empty..." Meredith said as she turned her attention back to the t.v. "We will be out next week." She said without turning her head. She heard the front door open. Derek and Anna walked in. Meredith got up and joined them. She gave Derek a soft kiss and they walked into the kitchen.
"This is..." Izzie started with a frown on her face.
"We're losing her." George said sadly. The had all had a good time, living together. And now she was leaving.
"It's like the end of an era." Izzie explained as a tear ran down her cheek.
"It's not like we won't see her everyday." George replied, trying to make her feel better.
"I am really going to miss Anna." Izzie continued.
"No kidding." George agreed. "You know what I won't miss?" She shook her head no. "The loud sleepless night..." He said as they both laughed.
"Yeah, that and the flooding." Izzie told him.
"Flooding?" George asked. Izzie pointed to the wall. "Oh...that's what happened. Oh my god. Yeah, not going to miss that!"
------------------
"So your Mom knows?" Derek asked as he watched Meredith pull off her jeans.
"I told her a few days ago. How'd you guess?" Meredith asked with a giggle. Derek watched as she pulled off her top.
"Well, besides the fact that she has been scowling at me for the past two days..." Derek said with a chuckle.
"Seriously?" She said with a laugh. "How immature is that?" She asked as she pulled her bra off.
"Very. You know you can't do that, right?" He asked her.
"What?" She returned as she pulled a tee shirt on.
"And you really can't do that. That is cruel." He told her.
"What?" She asked with a giggle, she slowly walked towards him.
"You can't strip in front of me, and then cover it up." He said as he pulled her onto the bed.
"Hey, I didn't put my panties on yet..." She said as she started to stand up.
"Yeah, I'm definitely not going to let that happen." He said as he pushed her down and kissed her neck.
"Oh, really?" He said with a giggle.
"Really." He muttered as she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it up. They could hear the rain pounding on the windows. His tongue ran down her her abdomen. He stopped at her naval and sucked. She tightened up her stomach at his touch. His mouth moved down slowly. They heard a loud crack, and lightning quickly crossed the sky. He spread her legs and blew hot air. She wiggled at the sensation. His tongue slowly delved into her hot folds. She moaned softly as she grabbed the blankets.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Anna whined at the door. Meredith groaned. "I'm scared."
"Shit..." Derek muttered as he stood up. Meredith quickly crossed the room and threw the rest of her clothes on. Derek slowly opened the door.
"Can I sleep in here tonight?" He asked as she walked in. Derek glanced over at Meredith, who gave a soft nod. "Of course you can, honey. Mom and I were just getting ready to go to bed." He pulled Anna close and went to kiss her on the head.
"Derek! Don't you dare kiss our daughter with that mouth." She said as her eyes got wide.
"Why?" Anna asked, looking over at Meredith.
"Daddy needs to brush his teeth." Meredith said as she walked toward the bed.
Anna quickly crawled into the middle of the large bed. Meredith laid on her side, and Anna quickly clung to her. Derek laid on his side, and she clung to him. Derek looked over at Meredith and smiled. They both looked down at Anna, who had her eyes closed. A loud crack of lightning struck and she jumped, grabbing Derek. He wrapped his arm around her and she snuggled into his side. They listened as her breathy got shallow and she fell asleep.
"So the therapist says she is doing great." Derek said as he glanced over at Meredith. "She can't believe she is the same kid."
"That's good." Meredith whispered as she looked down at Anna. "I think she's okay."
"She is..." Derek agreed. "So you got a lot packed." He said as he looked around the room.
"Yeah, I did. Actually, it's pretty much done. The furniture has to stay for George and Iz." Meredith explained.
"That's no big deal." Derek said quickly.
"I want my bed. And that bureau. That has been in my family for a long time, I guess. And I like it. So if I get time tomorrow, I will empty it. It's really heavy." Meredith told him as she looked over at it.
"So the bureau goes..." Derek said, acknowledging what she had said.
"Yep. This is weird. I have lived here most of my life. I left, I came back and now I'm leaving again." She said softly.
"Are you okay?" Derek asked.
"Uh huh. It's kind of sad. But I love you, and it's time to move on." Meredith replied. Derek leaned over and kissed her forehead.
"Yes, it is." He said as he laid back on his pillow and closed his eyes.
"Night..." Derek told her.
"Night." She answered with a smile.
------------------
Meredith had to work in the morning. She had let Derek sleep in because he had been bombarded with surgeries lately. Of course, at eight o'clock, Anna was wide awake. Which meant Derek was awake, because she had slept in their bed. He slowly got out of bed, got her ready and dropped her off at school.
When he got home, he got right on the phone. He had some important calls to make. He had made the decision. He was doing it. He needed to. He wanted to have more time to spend with his girls. Not to mention it would help take away some of Meredith's stress. It was a big change, but he was ready. Too bad Meredith didn't know anything about it.
Derek looked around at everything Meredith had packed. He hadn't done anything. He felt guilty. She worked one-hundred and ten hours last week, and she was still holding everything together. He walked up to the bedroom and looked around. There sat the large bureau. He grabbed a few empty boxes and started pulling clothes out of it. He was being helpful, being a nice guy.
He pulled out a deep red sweater. It was one of his favorites. He loved the way she looked in it. He made sure everything was placed in the boxes just so. He was getting near the bottom, when he heard a loud clunk. She quickly fished around. His hand grasped something large. He pulled it out, and looked at it in shock. There is was. He couldn't believe it. A smile overcame his face. He finally found it.
He looked at the engraved initials on it's shiny cover. MEG. It was the book. The book that any man would love to see. The book that held all of Meredith Grey's conquests. It was probably a bad idea. It was the wrong thing to do. But yet he couldn't control himself. Maybe this would tell him more about her. Derek sighed as he grabbed the book and headed to comfortable chair. It was big, and it was going to take awhile.
Derek sat down in the chair. He glanced over at the clock, he had some time to kill. At first it was almost funny. Slightly immature. A little novice. It was cute, actually. Derek actually felt kind of bad. She was young, and it seemed like she had used sex as an outlet. A way to deal with this. That really wasn't something he didn't already know. The fun was slowly trickling away. The sheer number of men was unbelievable, and he wasn't through very much of the coveted book.
Then the fun was over. Way over. The color drained from his face. He was actually sick. He tossed the book onto the bed and laid his head back. This was one of those moments when he wished he could go back in time. He wished he could undo the last two hours of his life. He wasn't sure how to feel. He was angry. He was upset. He was every emotion in the book. But most of all, he was disappointed.
---------------
Meredith was swamped at the hospital. It seemed like she was getting paged to the pit every ten minutes. But that was fine. That was the way she liked it. The whole hospital was congratulating her every time she turned around. All she could think about was the future. She was happy. She was sure the trial was going to be favorable. She was married to the man of her dreams. And then they were going to be moving to their new house. Life was good. She was deep in thought, think about getting home to Derek. She snapped out of her fantasy when Richard Webber walked up.
"Meredith." He said with a smile. "Congratulations! I heard the news. I'm truly happy for both you and Derek." He said as he leaned in an embraced her. She had been growing to like him.
"Thank you, Richard." Meredith said with a smile.
"Derek is a great guy. I think you two will be so happy together." Richard went on.
"Well, my mom doesn't seen to think so." Meredith said with a shrug.
"She'll come around. She has high expectations." Richard said sadly.
"She always has. I just don't think I can reach them." Meredith returned.
"Between you and I, you have far surpassed. She will just never admit it." Richard said with a wink.
"Thanks, Richard." Meredith said with a smile.
"I want to have you, Derek and Anna over for dinner sometime soon." He told her. Her pager went off.
"Sure. Sometime soon. I gotta go." She said as she ran off.
-----------------
"So how was it?" Addison asked as she worked on her patient.
"Amazing. I can't believe you let him go. He planned everything. It was amazing!" Meredith reiterated. "On the beach, at sunset..."
"That is why I let him go. When he was with me, it wasn't amazing." Addison said with a laugh. "I was just a test run. Now he has you. And I honestly couldn't be happier."
"I just hope that it is always like this." Meredith said with a faint smile.
"The way Derek feels about you, it will always be like this." Addison confirmed. "He called me..." Addison stated. "Can you hold the clamp?"
"Sure..." Meredith said as she grabbed the clamp. "He called you?"
"Yeah, right before the ceremony." Addison explained. "He was worried..." Meredith's face dropped. How could she tell her this.
"Oh my god. He was having second thoughts..." Meredith muttered.
"No! He was worried that he was going to mess it up. He went on about how much he loved you. He was just worried that he was going to sabotage it. I told him he wouldn't. And I am sure that he won't." Addison clarified as she handed Meredith the suction.
"I called Ian. I needed to talk to someone." Meredith admitted.
"Did he make you feel better?" Addison asked as she looked over her surgical mask.
"Yeah. He really did." Meredith said with a deep breath. "I think it's all going to be okay. I really think this is my happily ever after..."
They continued with the surgery. A few complications arose, and they ended up being in the operating room until ten-thirty. So much for having dinner with her charming husband. The way his schedule had been, she was sure he was fast asleep. She frowned at the thought, but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. She was exhausted and needed sleep to. She was just heading to the elevator when Dr. Bailey headed towards her.
"Grey! Or Shepherd. Damn-it, you just had to go get married and confuse me, didn't you?" Miranda said as she ran into the elevator.
"Yes, I got married just to confuse you." Meredith muttered with annoyance. She was tired, and her body hurt.
"Well, anyway. Here you go." She said as she handed her an envelope. "Your test results.
"Oh! Oh..." Meredith muttered as she held the envelope.
"You aren't going to open it?" Miranda asked.
"No. I was in a good mood. I don't want to change that." Meredith explained as she shoved it in her purse.
"Grey, you want to open it." Miranda said quickly. "Damn-it! Open it!" Meredith got wide-eyed and quickly opened the envelope. She looked at the paper and a huge smile grew on her face.
"You had the highest score. Congratulations." Miranda said as she walked off the elevator. To say Meredith was ecstatic was an understatement. She couldn't wait to get home and show Derek just how happy she was.
---------------
Derek laid there looking at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't think. That was all that was in his head. He tried drowning it out, and it came back. It took over. It was like that annoying vine that spread and took over. It was like a fog hanging in his head. It would not leave. Anna had sensed that something was wrong. Derek kept reassuring her that everything was fine. But how could he do that, when he wasn't feeling it himself? And now he was faced with the fact that he would have to face her. He didn't know how he could.
He heard the front door open. He was going to pretend he was asleep. That would work. He didn't snore, so that wouldn't be a problem. He would just lay there until she fell asleep. He heard the bedroom door open. And then there was the click of the lock. There was only one time they locked the door. This was bad. He heard her go into the bathroom, and go through her routine. He heard her soft footsteps walking toward the bed.
"Derek..." She whispered. Shit. This was going to be harder than he thought. He laid there. In silence. "Derek!" She said a little louder as she shook him. He knew she wasn't going to stop.
"Hmm." He said in his best pretend sleepy voice. He didn't make an effort to kiss her. She noticed. Something was off.
"I passed." She said happily. "I passed the exam. I actually got the highest score." She said as she leaned over and pulled his shirt up.
"Oh, that's good..." He said without gusto. That's it? That's all he's going to say. That's good...
"Yes...it is." She said as she quickly pressed her lips to his. It wasn't there. The fire. It had gone out. She pressed her tongue against his lips, he didn't open his mouth. He didn't allow her entrance. She shrugged it off. She knew how to get him in the mood.
He was feeling sick. He felt guilty. He loved her more than life. But yet, he couldn't let it go. He couldn't pretend he hadn't read the book. He couldn't live a lie. He felt her tug at his boxer shorts.
"Not tonight." He muttered as he tugged back.
"What?" Meredith said in shock. He quickly rolled over and faced the wall. He couldn't look at the hurt in her face. "Derek. What's the matter?" She asked softly. Her eyes started to tear up. He had never denied her.
"Nothing." He muttered sternly.
"Oh come on..." She said as she leaned over and sucked on his neck. He pulled away.
"Derek, what the hell is the matter with you?" She snapped angrily. "You have never denied me."
"I'm not in the mood, okay?" He said as he remained looking at the wall.
"No, it's not okay. I thought we were communicating. Apparently not. Something is wrong. You know what? Whatever. I don't fucking care." She said with a huff as she laid back and stared at the ceiling. "Non-communicating ass." She muttered loudly. He ignored her. "You are pathetic."
"Fine!" He said loudly as he rolled over. "Do you really want to know what is wrong with me?" He asked angrily.
"Yes! I want to know." She returned, matching his tone.
"This." He said as he leaned over to his bedside table and pulled out the engraved journal. He quickly whipped it over to her. "This is what's wrong."
"Where did you get this? You were going through my stuff! Who do you think you are, going through my stuff?" She shouted as she held the book.
"I was trying to be a nice guy. I was packing up that fucking ugly ass bureau that you have to take with you. And there it was." Derek returned as he sat up and glared.
"You read it..." She said unbelieving. "How could you?"
"How could I? What the fuck kind of person keeps track of every guy she screws?" Derek shouted.
"It was none of your business..." She said as her eyes welled up. "You didn't have to read it..."
"Believe me. I wish I hadn't. I would think that since we got married, you would have destroyed it. But no, maybe you want to relieve your philandering past? Obviously you have taken several trips around the block, maybe a few more wouldn't hurt." He said nastily. "I married a--" He started and then stopped.
"A what, Derek?" She asked, knowing what he was going to say.
"My cousin, Meredith! My fucking cousin is better than I am? It's bad enough to think about you and him. But the fact that you enjoyed it? How do you think it feels to read that the best you ever had, was your ex-husband, who lived in this house for how long? Were you fucking him while he was here?" He shouted. Meredith slapped him. She slapped him harder than she had ever hit anyone in her life. Derek rubbed his face. He was in shock.
"Fuck you, Derek." She said curtly. She sat there for awhile. They both stared straight forward. Finally she spoke. "Did we make a mistake?" She asked softly.
"I don't know? Did we?" He returned flatly. The tears began flowing freely from her eyes. She wasn't going to sob, she didn't want his comfort. She didn't want anything from him.
"Good to know... Would have been better if I'd know before I fucking married you!" She said as she shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you. You need to get out." She said as she sat there on the bed. Derek looked at her and grabbed his pillow and blanket. He started walking towards the door. "No, Derek. You need to get out. I want you out of this house." She said loudly and forcefully. He looked at her stone cold face. He slowly walked over and put his clothes on. She watched as he walked out their bedroom. She listened as the front door opened and the car started. Then she did it. She sobbed. There goes my happily ever after...
I'm so sorry...It's not over till it's over. And I am saying...It's NOT OVER!