Meredith was relieved when she woke up and went downstairs. No one else was up. It was just her in her big house. Derek didn't have surgery until one, and he was taking Anna to school. He was planning on doing something with his family before work. Meredith sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal. She smiled as she looked out into the darkness. The sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon.

"Oh hi, dear." Evelyn said as she stumbled into the kitchen.

"Oh!" Meredith said in shock. There goes my quiet morning. "You're up early." Meredith said as she took a bite of her cereal.

"So are you." Evelyn said as she grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down.

"I have pre-rounds." Meredith explained as she took her last bite and looked at her watch. She had time. She didn't have to leave for a half an hour. Part of her was considering leaving early just to escape.

"I couldn't sleep." Evelyn explained.

"Oh no. Was it the bed? Were you too hot?" Meredith said with worry.

"No, no. It was Gina. She crawled into bed with me last night." Evelyn explained as she sipped her coffee.

"Oh." Meredith said with confusion. Why the hell would she climb into bed with her mom?

"She and I have always had a special connection. And now that the baby is getting closer, she's just worried." Evelyn said as she looked out the window.

"Well is the baby okay?" Meredith asked with worry.

"Oh yes! Of course he is. She's a mom. And she's always been a worrier." Evelyn told her. "The view is magnificent."

"It is. I love it out here." Meredith agreed as she also looked at the sunrise.

"So how are you?" Evelyn asked with a sympathetic look.

"I'm fine." Meredith lied. Evelyn knew she was lying. She hadn't known Meredith long, but she knew well enough.

"Derek told me..." Evelyn trailed off.

Meredith dropped her head. How the hell could he do that? He sabotaged her. Meredith sat there nervously. She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to be put into this position. She barely knew Evelyn. How could she talk to her about this. She wanted to run off. She wanted to blend into the background. But no. Derek had set her up, and now she had to acknowledge the situation.

"Oh." Was all she could muster.

"I'm so sorry." Evelyn said as she watched Meredith's face drop. "It's a difficult situation."

"Yes it is." Meredith agreed. She looked down at her empty bowl of cereal.

"Just know it's not your fault." Evelyn said as she gave Meredith a hopeful smile. That was all it took. That sent her into that deep, dark place she didn't want to be. It made her vulnerable. And that was what she had worked all her life not to be.

"That's the thing. We don't know. It probably is my fault." Meredith muttered as she started to whimper. All of the pent up frustration, the grief, it came out. It was like a dam that was breaking. She was trying to hold it up. She couldn't. It crushed her right then and there.

"Oh, honey." Evelyn said as she looked across the table at Meredith who had her head in her hands. Her shoulder were rocking with sobs.

"I never wanted children. And know it's all I want and I can't-- And I don't know why..." She cried. Now she was there. Completely vulnerable. She may as well be laying exposed in the middle of Central Park. Suddenly she felt a warm pair of arms wrap around her.

"It's okay, honey. No matter what, it is not your fault. Do you understand?" Evelyn asked. Meredith nodded her head. "I have faith that this will all work out." She said as she hugged her tighter. It was amazing. She felt better. People had been saying the same thing to her, but it didn't matter. But coming from her, it was different.

"I'm okay." Meredith said as she pulled away.

"Yes you are." Evelyn said as she took her face in her hands and kissed her forehead. In that moment, Meredith felt a connection. For the first time in her life, she felt what it was to have a mother. A mother who cared. A mother who loved unconditionally. It was the best feeling she had ever felt.

"Um. I have to go." Meredith said sadly. Thirty minutes earlier she couldn't wait to leave. Now she wanted to stay here forever.

-----------------

"What the hell have you done to Shepherd?" Alex asked as he walked by Meredith in the pit.

"What?" Meredith asked as she grabbed the betadine and scrubbed the patient, Damon's, wound.

"He is being a real asshole. Horrible." Alex said with a scowl. Meredith shrugged like she didn't know why. She knew why. It definitely had something to do with a cold shower the night before. "Well, thanks." He muttered as he walked away.

"Was he talking about you're husband?" The man asked with a wince.

"You do realize that it doesn't hurt, right? It numb." She said frankly.

"I'm a wimp. Don't tell anyone." He said with a wink. Meredith smiled. "So what did you do? The husband..."

"Who said I did anything?" Meredith asked. Damon looked at her with raised brows.

"That guy." He pointed out. "Yeah, well that guy is an ass." She returned, they both laughed. He quickly grabbed his head.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked with concern.

"Yeah. I think so. I'm in here for my arm, right?" He said with a chuckle. Meredith continued to sew him up. "So I assume your husband is a doctor..."

"Now what makes you think that?" Meredith asked with a smile.

"Well, that doctor was pissed. I'm assuming he's his boss. Not to mention the rock you have on your hand." He told her.

"I have gloves on my hands. There is no rock." She told him as she looked down.

"There was. And it was big." Damon said with a smile. "Fine, keep it a secret." He joked with a shrug.

"He's a neurosurgeon." Meredith returned with a smile.

"Damn. I guess he'll be tough competition." The patient said with a chuckle.

"You have no idea!" She replied. She watched him grab his head again. "You're sure you're okay?"

"I don't know. My head. It hurts." Damon told her.

"Damon, what does it feel like? Sharp, dull, pounding?" She asked as she looked at him.

"It--" He started before he crashed to the floor.

-----------------

"He was okay. He said his head hurt, and then he crashed to the floor." Meredith said in disbelief.

"You did a good job. You knew it was an aneurysm." Derek told her frankly. She looked at him. He was being cold. He wasn't being himself.

"Oh my god." She muttered as she shook her head.

"What?" He asked, not looking up.

"You're pissed at me." She said, rolling her eyes. She shook her head.

"Damn right I am." He whispered angrily. Her eyes met his icy glare.

"Because of last night. Dear god, Derek." She said with a laugh.

"Oh, so funny for you. You weren't the one that got fucked. Or lack there of. I pleasured you. You were done. I wasn't even started. Well, I was started but-- I can not believe you did that." He told her with an unhappy tone.

"Oh come on...First of all I told you know. What you did to me was because you wanted to..." She said. "And secondly, I could not have sex with you while your mother was so close."

"We could have been quiet. I was there. I was ready." He scowled.

"Okay. I'm sorry. It's not that I didn't want to, Derek." She explained. He didn't look up at her. "Derek. I am sorry." She said softly. He looked up at her, he had to give in.

"I know you are." He said with a faint smile. "But you owe me."

"I know. And you will get what's coming to you." She said with a seductive smile.

"And I can't wait." He returned. He looked back down at the patient an continued working.

"So we're good?" She asked.

"Yes, we're good." He told her. "And I am sorry. For telling my mom without asking you."

"I was mad. I won't lie. I was ready to come up to our room and kill you. But it was good. She was good. She's pretty wonderful." Meredith said with a smile.

"She is." Derek agreed. "So she made you feel better?"

"She felt like a mom..." Meredith told him. He smiled, but he didn't know. You couldn't know how it felt until you didn't have one. And he did. He had a wonderful mother who would give everything up for her children. And now, it was feeling like she did too.

--------------

Evelyn and Derek's sisters left after a several day stay. They all had to get back to their own lives. They were satisfied with Meredith and Anna. They could tell that Derek was genuinely happy. And as much as Meredith hated to admit it, she was really going to miss Evelyn. The trial for the Livingston's was still going on. And Meredith still wasn't pregnant. But life goes on, as they say.

Meredith made her way down the hallway away from the locker room. She had just came back from the fertility specialist that Addison had suggested. She hadn't told Derek. She was going to, but he was tried this morning, and she decided to let him sleep. She really liked Dr. Karon. She gave her hope. Which was something she needed. Dr. Karon explained that it could take time after the IUD removal, and it hadn't been that long. In some cases it took over a year to get pregnant. They took blood and ran some tests. Either way, she was going to know whether it was her or not sooner rather than later.

"Hey." Addison shouted as she walked up. As always, she looked fabulous in her pencil skirt and designer shoes. Not a hair was out of place.

"Hey, Addie." Meredith said as she stopped and faced her.

"So?" Addison asked with a smile. Meredith furrowed her brow. "How did the appointment go?"

"Oh. It went well. They ran some tests. They said it would be a few days before they knew anything." Meredith said as she looked at her shoes.

"But this is a step. At least you are trying to find the problem." Addison said with a hopeful look.

"Yeah, I am." Meredith said with a scowl.

"Derek still isn't budging?" Addison said, rolling her eyes. She knew Derek well, too well.

"Of course not..." Meredith returned. "Whatever. If he needs to protect his manliness..." Addison started laughing, Meredith joined her.

"Well, you know men." Addison told her. They both nodded their heads.

"Grey. Shepherd. Whoever you are. Get your ass over her. We have a bowel perforation that needs emergency surgery." Miranda shouted as she walked by quickly. "I need you to scrub in with me." Addison gave her a nod and a smile as she walked off.

"CT's been done. He's been prepped. Get in the scrub room." Bailey said as she led the way. The both scrubbed in and walked into the OR. Bailey had them lower that table and she immediately went to work. "I need you to retract." Meredith quickly began retracting and watched intently.

"Wow, he's a mess." Meredith said as she looked down.

"You can say that again." Bailey said as she shook her head. "Damn fool ate too much."

"Didn't they warn him? He can't do that with the procedure he had." Meredith said as she looked down at him.

"I'm sure he knew that. But I bet he didn't think he would end up here." Bailey said. They both heard a pager go off. The scrub nurse grabbed it.

"Um, it's you, Dr. Grey-Shepherd." The nurse said as she looked down at it. "It's the other Dr. Shepherd. I think you need to take it!" She said with a worried face. "It says 911."

"Oh my god." Meredith said as she looked up at Miranda. "Anna." Meredith said with a gasp.

"Go." Miranda said with an understanding look.

The scrub nurse took over for her. She ran out of the OR, ripping her mask and gloves off. She quickly tossed them in the trash. She nearly ripped the door off it's hinges when she opened it. All she could think of was that Anna was hurt. Maybe she got hurt at school. She was a strong kid, but she had been so unhealthy in the past. The minute she got in a free area, she called Derek's cellphone.

"Hello?" Derek said calmly. Meredith didn't understand why he was so relaxed.

"Oh my god! Is she okay? Is Anna okay? Are you okay?" Meredith asked in a total panic.

"I'm fine. I assume Anna is fine. I haven't heard from the school." Derek said with a shrug.

"Derek! You paged me 911! I just got pulled out of a bowel perforation! You better have a damn good reason!" She spat through the phone.

"I do." Derek said matter-of-factly.

"Okay. What the hell is it?" She asked as she sat down in a chair.

"I'm here." He said quietly. "And I am having a little trouble."

"What are you talking about?" She asked, getting slightly annoyed.

"I'm here. Making my deposit." He explained. She still wasn't getting it.

"Okay, so you are calling me because you are having problems at the bank. Get a teller or something. I can't help you." Meredith shouted. Now she was getting pulled out of surgery because of money problems.

"Not that kind of deposit!" Derek explained. "The other one."

"What? Oh!" She said in shock. "What are you doing there?"

"You were right. It's not all on you. And I do want to be a part of this. So I made an appointment." Derek explained.

"Well, I appreciate that. But I still don't understand why I was pulled out of a kick-ass surgery." Meredith said with a huff.

"Well, I'm having a little trouble performing." Derek said sadly.

"What?" She asked with a laugh.

"I can't make the deposit. I need your help." Derek explained.

"You have got to be kidding me! You pulled me out of surgery so I can help you get off?" She shouted. Everyone looked at her. She quickly dropped her head and made her way down the hallway, going into a storage closet.

"Well--" He said, trying to find the right words to say.

"Derek. I swear you are the horniest man in the world! You don't need me. Didn't they give you a magazine or something?" She asked with a laugh.

"Yes. I tried that. Nothing... I need you. I am stepping up here. I need your help." He said with a sigh.

"Fine." She moaned as she rolled her eyes.

"So what are you wearing?" Derek asked softly.

"Derek. You know what I'm wearing." She replied quickly. "Scrubs, sexy scrubs."

"Meredith. Come on..." He muttered.

"Okay. I am pulling my top off now. I have on that pink lacy bra you love so much. The one that just barely covers me." She said softly as she grabbed an abandoned magazine and started reading it.

"I do love that one." He replied.

"I know you do... Oh...and the matching thong. But I need to get it off." She muttered into the phone as she sat on the floor.

"So you're sliding it off?" He asked happily.

"Oh yes. And I'm...Oh god am I wet..." She mumbled as she flipped the pages in the magazine. "Oh he's hot." She muttered as she looked at a picture.

"What?" Derek asked.

"I'm so hot... God, I need you." She said softly. "Oh god...oh god..." She shouted. "I need you inside of me..." She muttered.

"Okay." He said with a moan.

"What?" She asked.

"I'm done." He told her quickly.

"Seriously?" She asked. "That quick?"

"Yep. I'll see you in a little bit. Love you." He said softly.

"Love you too. Bye." She said as she flipped her phone shut. She wanted to kill him. She quickly walked out of the storage room and to the scrub room. She scrubbed in and joined Dr. Bailey.

"Was everything okay?" Dr. Bailey asked.

"Um, just a technical difficulty." Meredith said with a laugh. Bailey shook her head.

---------------

The surgery went without any problems. It took forever. By the time it was over, Meredith's feet were burning, and her back was killing her. She was so elated that Derek was willing to take a chance. To help figure out what was wrong with the, She couldn't get it out of her head. Meredith took a few minutes to lean against the nurses station and breathe.

"Shepherd." Bailey said as she walked up. Meredith saw the scowl on her face. This wasn't good. "I need you to do my post-op notes." She said as she walked up.

"Okay." Meredith muttered as she grabbed the charts.

"Dr. Shepherd!" Derek shouted as he walked down the hallway towards her. Meredith glanced up.

"Yes Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked as he neared.

"I need you." He said as he pulled her arm and dragged her along.

"Dr. Shepherd! Where are you taking my intern? She is doing my post-op notes!" Bailey yelled.

"You have five interns. Get one of the other four to do it." Derek said as he continued to drag her down the hallway.

"Damn arrogant ass thinks he runs this hospital!" Bailey shouted.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked as she walked behind him. She almost had to run to keep up.

"Finishing what we started." Derek said as he opened the on-call room door and hastily looked around. "Thank god!" He said as he locked the door an pulled off his scrub shirt. Meredith just stared at him as he slid his scrub pants down.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she shook her head.

"I have been trying to hold it in for too long." He said as he walked up and covered his mouth with hers. His tongue thrusted in hastily. Of course, at that moment, she melted. Her tongue fought his in an erotic war. He pulled away, and sucked on her lower lip, causing it to swell.

"Damn you." She muttered as she lifted up her scrub shirt and pulled it off. He smiled when she saw that she did, indeed, have on the pink bra. He fingers quickly fought with the clasp and slid it off. He pushed her down on the bed and took his nipple in her mouth. He bit down hard.

"Der- Not so hard." She snapped. He looked at her and smiled. His mouth travelled down and he pulled at her scrub pants. He pulled them down, along with her panties. She could feel his hot breath on her. "I don't have time." She mumbled sadly. He looked up at her and smiled. He quickly spread her legs, pressing her knees to her chest, and thrust into her roughly.

"Oh god." She gasped at his haste. He smiled as he quickly thrust in and out.

"Mer..." He said softly as he felt her around him.

"Just fuck me." She muttered as she gripped his back. "And do it hard."

"I can do that." He said as he pounded into her harder. She groaned as she pulled her legs father, sweetening the deal. She felt his full length inside of her. "God Mer. God baby..." He moaned as he started to pulsate. He felt her heat encompass him.

"Oh god...I'm...Oh god..." She muttered as her eyes fluttered and her body shook.

"Shit...oh..." He moaned as he released inside of her. He rolled over onto his back and panted. "Thank you." He said as he looked over at her. She heard her pager go off.

"Shit." She said with a moan. She wanted to just lay there and enjoy the moment. Instead she jumped up and threw her clothes on. "See you later." She said as she exited the room. Derek sighed as he laid back on the bed. Meredith quickly found Bailey in the hallway.

"I trust you helped Dr. Shepherd with his frustration." Bailey said as she shook her head in disgust. Meredith just looked down. "I guess he was a real ass in surgery... So, on behalf of the hospital staff, thank you!" Meredith looked up and rolled her eyes as she grabbed the charts and walked off.

-----------------

Now was the waiting. Waiting was bad. Meredith could barely function. Her stomach was in knots. Someone somewhere was holding the answer to the riddle. It had been days since she had been to the fertility doctor. She really thought that she would have gotten a call by now, and nothing. Not a damn thing. Not for her, not for Derek.

"Have you gotten a call?" Meredith asked Derek. He was sitting at the kitchen table eating his muesli.

"Nope." He answered nonchalantly.

A little too flip. It instantly made her angry. He acted like it was no big deal. She knew she was overreacting but she couldn't help it. Her nerves were on edge. She was on edge. She took a deep breath. She stopped herself form dumping down his throat.

"Oh." She muttered as she took a bite of the muesli and dropped the spoon. Derek jerked at the loud clang it made.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he looked up from the newspaper.

"It tastes like shit. And you're an ass! And how did you even get that freaking paper. They don't bring it to the door." She spat as she stood up and walked to the kitchen. She snapped. She didn't mean to.

"I walked out and got it. Are you okay?" He asked with worry.

"I'm sorry." She muttered. She wasn't. She was angry, and moody. Everything seemed to set her off. She had no control. She walked back to the table carrying ice cream and a green pepper.

"What are you doing?" He asked as she looked at the ingredients she was carrying.

"Trying to make this shit taste like something other than cardboard." She said as she place two big scoops of ice cream in the bowl and stirred it around. She quickly took a bite. "Much better." She said with a smile.

"Yeah. Because you are eating dessert." He said under his breath. "What's the green pepper for?"

"This." She said as she took a big bite of it like it was an apple.

"Mer! There are seeds in that!" He shouted.

"I know." She said as she chewed it up and swallowed it. He looked at her like she was crazy. His cellphone rang. He quickly answered it. Meredith listened intently. She continued eating, but her ear was on him. He flipped his phone shut.

"My results are in." He said quickly. "I have an appointment in an hour."

"Oh..." Meredith said as she looked at him. Derek looked worried.

Most likely no update tomorrow... Sorry :(